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Let it pour (please tell me what you think)
the weather man said
to expect showers
a purple umbrella lies abandoned on the ground
wet hair and clothes
let it pour
forget the heart ache and the lonesomeness
and the reason why I'm sore
every inch of my skin is drenched
the rain hides the tears
cheap mascara runs
and so do I
let it pour
flash back and I'm five years old
yellow rain coat and brunette waves
but here I am
the same, yet a little less sane
Not dancing, or singing, but drowning in the rain
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I like that i could picture it in my head so it was a visual poem... i like that keep them coming because i would like to read more of yours-trix
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"snap snap snap" that was awsome you have great talent write more i had a lil book of poetry i wrote but i dont think it was very good urs was great keep writing "snap snap snap"
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I quite like this, you've done very well on the imergery, however the ending could use some work as I think
'flash back and I'm five years old
yellow rain coat and brunette waves
but here I am
the same, yet a little less sane'
is a bit superfluous. You could also do with some punctuation to guide the flow, and you might want to consider stanzas.
You have talent, keep it up :)
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I LOVED IT.. keep writing you're really good at it!!! :)
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Thats really good! I like it a lot! You should post more! :) keep up the good work
-holly-
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