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Should I stay or should I go?
Hi there. I'm 16/f and my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. We started dating about 4 months into my freshman year (he's a year older than me) and I am going to be a junior this fall. While I like him a lot I don't feel that people our age should spend their entire highschool career with one person for the simple reason that highschool is a time when you're supposed to experience things. (To a certain extent mind you). I have vaguely talked to him about this issue and he agreed with me and also said that he would completely understand a "break" as long as we were on good terms (which we would be...he is my best friend), and we both believe in the whole "If you really love something let it go..." thing. However, when I think of breaking up with him I feel overwhelmingly guilty because he has been so good to me. (He's the first boyfriend I've had that has lasted this long, and also the first who hasn't "screwed me over", so to speak). I guess what I'm asking is why do I feel guilty? and would it be completely insensitive of me to break up with him? and what would be the best way to do it (on the phone in person...etc)?
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It sounds like the guilt is stemming from the fact that you know hurt is inevitable no matter what you decide.
I don't know your complete situation obviously, but from what you have written, it seems you have a good head on your shoulders. It also appears you have somewhat of an understanding of how serious it is to have a relationship with someone.
However, when you say that you believe people your age shouldn't spend their high school careers with one person, I hope you don't mean that it's better to shop around - to go from relationship to relationship. (Especially since you have personally felt the hurt of break ups) First you've been hurt and now you're faced with the decision to possibly hurt someone else. Having said that, I want to ask you, is it worth it? Is that the pattern you want to establish? Things don't have to be that way. Take a stand from what is considered "normal" today and let love wait.
He has already indicated he would understand if a break up took place. If that is what you decide, do it face to face. Over the phone is cowardly and would cause more harm to him than anything.
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It's good that you believe in the "if you really love something, let it go" thing. I agree, actually. Or, I used to. I intend to keep my guy, though, because (much like your situation), he's the only guy that has lasted this long and also hasn't screwed me over.
You probably feel guilty because you're not really sure you want to let him go. I think some part of your subconscious is afraid he won't come back. Though it sounds to me like he would. I don't think it would be completely insensitive of you to break up with him, as long as you BOTH believe that high school is for experiences. But since you do, there should be no problem. The most humane way to break up with someone is in person. Never, ever over IM. Some stupid guy did that to me and I still think he's an insensitive prick. (this is two years later. Lol)
Good luck in life and love!
-Siren =)
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