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How to treat my dad
My dad was always absent in my life and I was basically raised by a single mom. For the first time, he is showing interest in getting to know me. I'm 25 and he is 60. Do I have a moral obligation to tell him about my life? I would prefer not to.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
The short answer - no, but it's up to you. Your dad being absent most of you life has probably caused you some pain, I assume. If you are NOT comfortable forging a relationship/sharing information, you have the right to say NO. Having said that, I think the question to ask is: Will NOT talking/sharing your life with your dad at this point be better or worse for you, at this stage in life. Just remember - you are an adult - the choice is YOURS. Be true to yourself. :)
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obligation, no
you are under no obligation..
If there is a small part of you that might want to know what he has to say. It would be best to talk to your father. Get any questions you may have answered.
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hiya! Dr.D here!
Your father was absent for a large chunk of your life. I know your pain. I dont see my father often. I haven't seen him for a week or two.
Your father is old, just like my father. The American life expectancy is 70-80 years. Your father isn't far from getting there. I never looked up to my Dad. I actually want to be the man he isn't. But I always looked up at my mother father. He was kind, helpful, always smiled, and could do anything... He died of cancer. And now I wish that I could of spent more time with him.
And when my father dies. I'm going to feel the same. Because he is my father, the reason I am here now giving you advice. Dont make a mistake. If your father is there to tie up the loose end. Then let him. He wants to be close to you. He wants to be there. He only now understands how little time he has left. In the future, do you want to tell your children about their grandfather who was a heartless monster? Or the man with a heart.
Do what you feel is right. But remember. His clock will eventually stop ticking.
-Dr.D
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I would say no. Your dad being 60 is suddenly looking at what could be the last half of his life and could be trying to make amends for what he did wrong during the first half.
What you might want to do and to just satisfy your own curiosity is meet with him and find out why he was absent for a quarter of a century.
But a moral obligation to fill in the gaps for him? No you are under no such obligation.
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