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Scared he cumes inside
So i've slept with this guy twice.
Both times he used a condom, but came while he was inside of me (in his condom). That always scares me because what if the condom breaks?! or Something! Then all that stuff is in me! That's not the best.
Anyways, is it normal to be afraid that something like that could happen?
How do I tell him to just pull out before cumming? Is that rude?
Also, I know when hes going to cum because he goes SO deep in me and pushes real hard - it feels great for me and probably great for him, but I'm so scared!
advice?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Condoms?
Statistically condoms are 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. This mans from a statistical standpoint there is a 1.5 chance out of 10 chances a condom will break, leak or somehow allow sperm to get into you. Now this is based on the fact that the condom is being worn properly.
Now if the women are on birth control and the man uses a condom the statistics are that the effectiveness of the two is just about 100% or less than .009%.
If you are over 14 which I believe you may be than you may ask your doctor for birth control under a law called HIPPA. This law gives you 100% medical confidentiality over your reproductive system. By virtue of this law you do not need parental permission to ask your doctor for birth control and your doctor cannot tell your parents it was prescribed.
If you are over 18 you are an adult and no longer need parental permission for any medical visit or procedure. In fact your parents no longer have any right to see your medical records unless you allow them in writing to each doctor you visit. Even if you are still on your parent’s health insurance they have no rights to say anything about your medical care and you do not need their permission for any medical treatment which would also include birth control.
If their employers’ health insurance covers women's health needs, which all must by law with one or two exceptions, then you are entitled to see any doctor under the health plan and to ask for birth control. You are also entitled to use the pharmacy benefit to purchase the medication. This benefit is not controlled by your parents and they will not know what you are seen for or prescribed for.
My advice then is to see a doctor and get on birth control, make sure you partner always wears a condom not only for pregnancy protection but protection from the STDS a condom protects against and the HIV/AIDS virus.
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Hi there. Literally millions of people use condoms daily without any accidents. There's always SOME possibility. People are hurt and killed in car crashes daily, but we all drive our cars and of course we generally aren't involved in any sort of collision. Just to set the 'probabilities' angle. OK, there's nothing sharp inside you of course, which will tear a condom. It will slip a little during sex quite probably, but it's not at all likely to slip right off. Possibly it might if he loses his erection completely, but he'll also lose his ability to penetrate you and ejaculate too if this happens. The most likely cause of a condom breaking is if he gets air trapped in it when he's putting it on. If it's put on correctly you won't get air trapped in it. If there is air the tip of the condom will look like a little balloon which you'll clearly see above the head of his penis. If you see this, it's on wrong and you increase the possibility of it breaking quite a lot, especially when you're quite energetic having sex. And as you note, he'll be pressing quite hard and deep when he's about to 'cum'...us guys are like that, and yes...it does feel great for us and shows we're very excited over our partner. And yep...that's NOT a great time for the condom to pop! I'm sure he'll be very eager when he's about enter you but he has to be patient enough to get his condom on properly. It's a case of gripping the end of the condom tightly between his thumb and forefinger of one hand. His thumb-width is a good distance from the end. Then he should roll the condom down smoothly over the length of his penis until it reaches the base. Avoiding tearing it with a sharp fingernail of course. And he should put it on when he's fully erect and ready to penetrate you. If he does snag it on a nail, chuck it and use another. And if you see that little 'balloon' of trapped air it's wrong. You could refit it, but it can be awkward once it's unrolled. Best bet is to use another. You don't want to trying to save a few pennies when safe sex is involved. This might sound a bit of a procedure, when you're both anxious to get started. But it very soon becomes automatic. And it then goes on 'right' pretty much every time without thinking. If you're just starting using condoms, try and keep your emotions down a bit until it does all become automatic. It doesn't take THAT long! Condoms with extra lubricant built in will 'roll on' that bit more easily too. So see what's available and read the box. Used correctly condoms have just about the highest protection rate of any form of contraception. And after he's ejaculated it's a good idea for him to hold the condom on his penis at the base as he withdraws from you. No, it's not rude for a girl to ask a guy to pull out when he's ready to cum. But it does interrupt the fun and pleasure rather, don't you think? Used correctly there's no reason why you can't both enjoy the feeling of him cumming 'inside you' (as it were, he's cumming safely into the condom, but you know what I mean) as the climax of your love-making. None at all. In the event of an accident, despite everything, you'll no doubt be aware that there are after-sex contraceptive pills which can be taken relatively soon after sex. Next day is fine. So if the unlikely does happen some time, there's a solution available. It is unlikely, make sure that condom's on correctly and you might well never have to use them. Also, have an agreement that if it did burst during sex, he stops having sex IMMEDIATELY and sorts out a fresh condom. He will almost certainly be able to tell. It's a 'trust' thing. If you don't trust him, why on earth are you letting him have sex with you?? Remember, you are using the most common and reliable form of contraception. Have fun!
ps. The lubricant in lubricated condoms is often called 'spermicidal' (meaning it kills sperm). That could be very handy as a guy may 'pre-cum' during sex (he releases fluid which may contain sperm). There's a low-ish risk of pregnancy if if it did break during sex, which is even more reduced with spermicidal lubricant. So choose condoms that are spermicidally lubricated if you want to put your mind even more at ease. And that's exactly why you shouldn't ever be tempted or persuaded to 'start off' without a condom. And he might well ejaculate quickly and unexpectedly if he's very excited. It goes on BEFORE he gets inside you AT ALL, OK??
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A lot of people don't feel safe just using a condom. Obviously because there is a chance of it breaking. I mean sex is good, but it's not as good as it can be if you're fully enjoying it and not being paranoid in the back of your mind.
So you should probably get on birth control. It'll be your best option and then you both can enjoy it to the full extent.
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If I understand right, you waguyunt to ask a guy who is wearing a condom to begin with to withdraw before cumming because you are afraid of becoming pregnant. He may do so but for a guy, part of the pleasure is being inside the girl. If a condom isn't enough protection for your peace of mind, not to mention unable to fully enjoy yourself due to the ever present worry of pregnancy, then its about time for you to get on birth control. I just answered another person like this. My answer is always the same, if being sexual on a consistant basis, the most mature thing to do is get yourself on some birth control, usually its the pill that Drs. recommend. If you experience side effects, you go back and try different bc's until u find one that works for you.
You are missing out on so much of the enjoyment because you're so scared. I'll tell you this, I never considered myself totally safe with just condoms. After divorcing my ex who had a vasectomy, his tubes tied so I couldn't become pregnant, and I had not got to menopause yet, I had to decide what I would do for birth control, tried the pill but had to get off, side effects, I decided that I would date guys who had vasectomies or be willing to since in their late forties men are not too eager to accidently end up with another child all over again when theirs if any were already raised.
If the both of you have a great connection conversation wise and are very close, I think if you told him how scared you are about becoming pregnant that you would like to ask him to withdraw before cumming even if wearing a condom, he may go along with it. But he may also find that to seem a bit paranoid and ask you questions like why you aren't going to get on birth control then? Thats sounds like a logical question. As a teen, he cant go get snipped because he may want to have kids some day. So birth control rests entirely on your shoulders. What will you tell him when he asks which if I were him---why you havent just gone out and got yourself on birth control since teens do that every day. I'd be curious enough to ask, even if I were willing to pull out.
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Urm first of all is this guy your boyfriend or someone you just sleep with? I do understand where your coming from, however if your old enough to have sex your old enough to know the consequences of what could happen if the cum goes inside. Before you have sex with him again talk to him on a serious level, say your worried you might get pregnant if he cums inside you, but if you do want him to just go on birth control. On the other hand if you don't just ask him politely if he can stop cumming inside you? it's not rude you have every right to ask, its your body..
I get that you want pleasure and we all do when we have sex but if your that scared I really advice you to tell him to pull out before you make a mistake.. think before you do things! actions mean much more than words..
im sure you won't be scared again if you don't let him cum in you again :)
take care !!!
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Typically theres nothing to be afraid of if your using enough lube or your body is making enough lube so that the condom can slide and doesnt break. ive been with my husband for 13 years and we always used condoms (unless we were planning a child) and only had a condom break one time. and that was years before that. your body usually creates enough natural lube that this is not an issue. It would probably start to hurt you in there before that would even happen.
If your not comfortable with it though, its not rude to ask him to pull out right before he finishes. You can explain that your still scared of this aspect of things, and see how he reacts. good luck
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