Member Since: October 23, 2006
Answers: 6
Last Update: October 24, 2006
Visitors: 760
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I am a female and have been with my boyfriend/fiancee' for about 2 years. I recently moved away to college and had to leave him behind because I have to live in a dorm my first year. I visit home all the time and spend most of my time with him and not my family. I love him, and he loves me, I know this I really do, but lately all he has been talking with me about is that he wants to have sex with other people, that love and sex are not connected in his mind and that he is sexually attracted to another person, but not in love with them. This makes sense, and I understand him, but I told him that if he wants to have sex with another person, we are not together because I am not going to be waiting at home while he has sex with another. He doesn't understand that it's cheating on a person when you sleep with another while dating. He doesn't think that he should choose one or the other, he wants both. He thinks that I don't love him and that I don't understand him/ want him the way he is. The thing is I don't want him to resent me if he decides that he wants to stay with me and not have sex with other people and that I want him to see my point of view on this. I want him to understand me because he doesn't get what it would be like, he keeps telling me that I could have sex with other people as long as I didn't get attached to them, which he says I would do. I keep telling him that I don't want anyone else, but he doesn't think that he would get hurt because of it, if I did in fact sleep with another person.
I really have no idea what to do. I want him to be happy, which would mean giving him up, but I want to be happy myself, which would mean we would stay together and he would "forget" that side of him. Any advice on this, any thoughts that you have would be nice. I really appreciate you all taking time to read and answer this. Thank you. (link)
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dump him. imagine, he is your fiance' and he is asking you if he can sleep around? i bet you he already has. what if he picked up an STD? you never know. you better be safe girl. what if you marrY the guy? he will always be cheating on you. guys like him never change.
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omg i hate my parents not really they're making me do stuff i don't wanna do though like they're trying to get me to break up with my boyfriend and i don't want to do it i mean i think i might love him but i'm not sure. i mean i really care for this guy and they don't even care (link)
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i am 16 years old and i can tell you this, parents are always right even when you dont think so. i have tons of past experiences. they do care and they are telling you to break up with him for a reason. maybe they see youre not in good hands, and that something is not right with him. 80% of all people who are in an abusive relationship dont even know it. you can make your own choice, stay with him, maybe marry him then find out he is a wife beater, or you can listen to your parents and meet and even better guy out there! your choices are few but i hope you will make a right one.
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Me, always happy, always smiling..always good in school, always!! I tunred depressed. I mean I didn't really realize it until my school contacted my parents saying "she needs a therapist and probably anti-depressives" I know it sounds bad - but I used to look down on depressed people. Well, not look down on them, I felt sorry for them..because they go through stuff, but like I've been licing with my family (=HELL!) my whole life, and i still managed to be happy and have fun, so I figured "they're weak" kinda thing when they all got depressed..but now im there too. And i hate it, i hate the fact that im gonna look back ta these few years, ten years from now, and say "I hated highschool! i was miserable!" You don't understand, this has been my dream! Being a teenager i mean, i used to dream of reaching 16, having a boyfriend, lots of friends and parties..always fun, and it really looked like that was gonna happen since my whole life ive lived happily, lots of friends, lots of admirers, always good in school..and so on. SO WHAT THE HECK? This is what I've come to. I hate myself..because I know I'll walk out of this school a year from now saying "Thank G0D im out! & I'm never coming back!" And I know I wont come if there's ever a class reunion, and i completely HATE it.
Please help me, cheer me up, give me advice, do anything you can, please!
thank you so much! (link)
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listen to yourself, you are feeding your head what you want. depression is psycolgical. you can't just think, "oh, im depressed." no, something, a loss of a loved one, rape, you saw something horrible in your life, enhances you sence of sorrow and fear and of not wanting to get up in the morning. i know, i had two deaths in one week and now my cousin was tested positive for luekemia. i used to want to kill myself to be done with the world. but i realized death is the easy way out and i dont know about you but you sound like a strong person. you can get over you "depression" and strive for what you want, or just give up and face a life of solitude and anxiety. the choice is yours.
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To get it straight, envy is my biggest weakness, and I can never stand being with anyone that is better than I am (in whatever way: intelligence, appearance, accomplishments, etc.) Whenever I come across someone whom I perceive is a better individual than me, I'll run away from him/her as far as possible, otherwise the envious fire at my heart would burn me to death. Paradoxically, I fell in love with a guy whom I perceive is smarter and more accomplished than I am. He loves me too (or even more than I do him). But part of me doesn't seem to be able to carry on this relationship anymore, because I can’t stand the fact that I'm inferior than my boyfriend in some areas. I usually date someone that is equal to me or slightly dumber than me so that I can feel I'm in control. My boyfriend's intellectual superiority makes me insecure and vulnerable. I shiver whenever seeing his grandiose accomplishments. I remember someone said, "envy's true nature is the will to completely destroy the envied"—do I want to destroy my boyfriend then? Well, yes, I do RESENT him for having talents that I don't have. Yet at the same time I'm in love with him. Yes, I love AND hate him simultaneously! Such feeling is too much to handle. Ugh. I don't think I can leave him, because he loves me so deeply that I'm afraid he'd have a huge breakdown if I went away—that'd be too selfish of me. If I could get rid of my envy, everything would be fine. But how can I do it? This bad trait of mine is so ingrained in me. I always uncontrollably compare myself with others. I can't help it. So I am seeking advice from you guys. Please don't say, "everyone has his/her talents and defects. You are equal to your boyfriend because you have talents too." Yes, I do have several talents he doesn't have. But from what I perceive, my boyfriend has MORE talents than I do. He is superior to me MORE OFTEN than I am to him. I can't stand this. Meanwhile, I wish I could eradicate my envy and have a wonderful relationship with this guy. (link)
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to have a wonderful relationship with this guy you need to put all that shit behind you and look into the future, what can you both accomplish together? what talents may you both aquire together? and here is a little thought: envy is a psycological thing! comparing yourself with other people is not only not healthy for you, but it is not healthy for those around you. you need to seek help soon before envy destroys your relationship.
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ok im worried... im on the pill and i was supposed to get my period last week but it never came.. ive been under a great deal of stress lately and took a preg. test which said i was not pregnant. so why didnt i get my period? am i just really paraniod? i never miss the pill & i take it every night at the same time.. HELP! (link)
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pregnancy tests may be wrong at times. to be 100% sure you should go see a gynecologist. and yeah stress may throw off a period. and also to know if you're pregnant wait 3-4 months. if you dont get youre period in 3-4 months that means u are pregnant. youre not paranoid.
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well i have a problem. i'm a girl 15 years old if that helpes. and i'm like totally into gay boys. i always watch video clips on the internet and everything cause i think it's really hot. so what can i do to stop being like that cause my friend thinks it's weird and i know it is weird.
help? (link)
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it's not weird. lots of people are into that kind of stuff, your friend is just too prude to understand. Gay guys are hot. thats a known fact in life. did you know that the majority of really hot guys are gay? bet u didnt!! haha. it's not weird. to some extent. But if you really wanna stop all you have to do is restrict yourself from watching or just thinking about it. distract yourself with other things like sports or myspace. haha good luck with that. any other questions just holla.
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