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Q: My friend was forced to take a drug test by his mom and it he failed now shes callin his friends and tellin their parents to drug test their kids shes gonna call my dad soon and have my dad test me i want to know if its true that if you dont do marijuana often that it will clear out of your system faster than if you do it constantly?

1. It stays in your system the same amount of time.

2. It's not as huge a deal as some people are making it out to be. The reason why drugs mess up people's lives are they are doing it to avoid living life as an escape form. I know many people who live very productive lives and smoke pot. I'm not telling you to run out and do it all the time, I'm saying the people who are doing it because they enjoy it and have a handle on it are just fine.

3. If your parents ask you about it don't lie. Sure you very well may get punished, but if you tell your parents the truth they won't think you are some little pot smoking liar. I know once your parents get over being angry they will realize you are a good kid and by you telling the truth will have built up a level of trust.

4. If you are freaked out about the whole drug thing it's simple, don't do them.

I hope this helps.

Q: I'm 35 yrs old, met a great person after a bad relationship, for four good years of ups n downs we stuck it through. the fifth yr we had a child, we got much closer, our child help us realized that even though we were sruggling in our relationship we needed to care for him together till the end. Unfortunately the next 31/2 three yrs it went downhill, even counseling did not work, I loved her enough to continue but she needed out. So it happend, we went our separate ways, but our child came first in everything. I fell in love with a wonderful woman that has three children, 6,10 and 15 yrs of age. She is wonderful, but we do have our differences. Been seeing her 1 yr now allthough its not perfect between us, we both agree we are in love and should make a future together. We both tried to end and let go several times but gave in to our feelings for each other each time. Right about now my X wants me back, she is the biggest hearted person I have ever met, and her intentions, as far as I'm concerned, will always be wonderful. Realizing she was wrong she found that all she needed was time to clear her mind, knowing that it could be to late for us, she asked me to be a family again, which is what I wanted all the time. I don't think can get used to the feeling of me living a future with good children and knowing my own child is without me. But I realy love this other person and its hard to be with out her. I love my X dearly but its not the same any more, she needs me more than ever now and my heart is aunxiuos and willing to be there for anything she needs, my 5yr old also needs me by his side it kills me to think of life for us both without each other, and me giving time and attention to others. My god tells me to come home and take the pain and leave the one I truely love and hurt her as well, and my heart can't stop thinking about my true found love. I cry when I think of it. My child, his mom and there need for me, my mind is so messed up because and my heart longs for the woman I love. It's time to make a decision and I can't. Either way I loose. Can someone try and help please, WHAT CAN I DO?

If she got confused once and "needed time to think" it will happen again. You might think she is the best thing in the world but I'm having a feeling that she wants you because you love someone else.

Woman can be very evil and very selfish.

Love your son, but don't go back to that relationship. It's over and she needs to deal with that.

Q: Hi again, well thanks for your reply although you've been a bit harsh. But hey, it's up to you.

Yes, we men think with our dicks many times; that said, although mine would have something to say, it's not just lust that I feel for this other girl. I have eyes, like you, and I see women and sometimes you just like someone. I am sure it has happened to you, to my girlfriend and to most human beings around. That's okay. Now I don't think I would be having such a horrible time if it just were a matter of attraction. And that's what worries me.

Just try to image yourself in my position for a minute. You have a long, stable relationship with a boy. But the fire of passion has cooled and sex between you and him has lost a big part of its appeal. You still love him, but you can't get yourself to desire him the old way. I don't know if that can be restored, but if it can't, what hope is left for your relationship? Then comes the attraction to this other guy, and your world is upside down.
I guess that's what happened with me and my girlfriend; I already said that in my previous question, but please give me your opinion. Can a relationship work without a good sex life?

You're right about my girlfriend not being a bitch and a half :)

It's okay if you think of me as someone extraneous to feelings or sensitivity, but I know they're part of my equation, and if I had no feelings, I wouldn't have probably asked for advice here in the first place. It's not the first time I've suffered because of love; I know what it is to be in love and be dumped, and boy, it's the most effective diet ever.

Well, this was another of my long messages. When I start writing I cannot stop. Sorry about my bad english, but I am sure I made my point.

Sometimes being harsh makes people stop and think.

This October will be my 7th anniversary with my husband *we only just got married*. We don't have sex as much as I'm sure he would want but he talks to me about it, he says that he would like me to be a bit more affectionate. I mean our case is different because I am quite ill with a brain mass so I don't think of sex like I used to,

Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend. I'm not sure if this is true for all woman but most that I've run into in the 2 years before turning 30 pretty much loose most of their sex drive... I don't know how old she is so I don't know if that applies. I'm told the sex drive comes back after one turns 30.

If you aren't happy with the sex life chances are your girlfriend might not be either.

Have you talked to her about it?

Q: Hi, and first of all thanks for taking the time to answer me before. I have updated my question with additional info, and would be willing to read further comments from you, if any.

(My previous question with the addiotional info is here: http://advicenators.com/qview.php?q=362904)

Right now I am between two options. Telling my friend about the hard time I am having, and then telling my girlfriend what happened to me and try to find a cause and a solution. The other option is keeping it all inside, which feels like trying to fool or cheat myself.
Maybe I will just tell the other girl I HAD a thing for her some time ago, and that it was really hard to cope with and really painful, and that she'll eventually find the love of her life. I'm so confused right now... but I definitely have to make a decision before friday, because that'd be the chance to tell or remain silent. Thanks in advance.

People confess because it is freeing to them. They don't do it for the sake of the person they are telling, it's completely selfish.

What happened with your girlfriend to make you stray?

Honestly though, stop thinking with your dick, if your girlfriend loves you and isn't a bitch and a half why would you throw away the relationship for sex?

If this really is tearing you up though maybe you need to be alone. You need everyone to dump you so that later in life you don't take things for granted. I'm sorry but I'm not buying the you being a real sensitive guy thing.

Q: okay if you give someone head or a blow job can u get pregnant? like from swallowing the cum?

No.

Penis needs to be inserted into the vagaina and sperm needs to get to the woman's egg and fertilize it.

Q: Where do i begin? I was recently married 9 months ago to a 47 yr. old nurse. I am a female,45,and officer and have 2 girls, 11 and 16. I was single for 6 yrs. before, having been abused and mistreated for 11 yrs. I started over and now have a nice home and 2 cars, and have worked hard alone for what I have. So anyway I always wanted to marry again someday and have the family thing, and be happy.So I took a chance and boy I have been wondering about my judgement. We so rarely make love its getting hard to recall. He is just not interested he says, He hates when I say something about it, Another problem is I wonder could he be Bi-sexual, Right after we got married I caught him on the computer with men and women and talking sex, writing Bi-Sexual couples etc. I have caught him not about 5 times since we got married,. I Now have forbid him to use my computer, well he went to the library, and did it and he probabley does it at work. He denies that he is BI, saying it was for kicks, he was just messing with them and he was just curious about people. He hurt my feelings so much and not wanting to sleep with me, makes me feel unloved,and depressed, I love him, and want my marriage to work, but you dont have to be a bright light bulb to figure something is wrong here. I have threatened to go elsewhere for sex and he says go right ahead. I am so hurt Im miserable. He says he loves me but he sure dont know how to show it and says he will leave if that is what I want. Im getting to where I dont talk to him, I hold things in, Do I need someone to just slap me and make me wake up here and quit wanting that fantasy of a decent kind,loving husband? Thanks P.s. He has 2 kids that wont have anything to do with him, he was an alcoholic and married twice before.

Chances are your husband isn't bisexual but actually gay. I have a lot of experience seeing this from my past places of employment. He might actually take it further than just the computer and being his attitude isn't great about this he might end up putting your life at risk by having unprotected sex with another person.

I don't know why you would want to stay with a man who seems to treat you like garbage. Don't you feel you are worth more than that?

What is the relationship like aside from the sex? You mentioned material things but those aren't going to make you happy in your marriage.

What I would do? I'd get a divorce. You aren't going to be able to change him, period. You will be able to find someone else.

Q: Saw a waitress (shes 21, im 25) at local pub, big crush, five months later I'm pretty sure she likes me, never talked to her but she stole glances (as did i) so I asked her out for coffee, she said yes. I phone her the next week, she is ill, phone again a couple of times to hear how she is doing. The next sunday I phone her again, no awnser, 5 minutes later she sms me back that she has a boyfriend "but we can still have coffee". I sms back that she should just give me some time, decide to get over it.

Next time I'm at the pub she comes and chats with me (sitting next to me), and the next time, and the next. The more we talk the more I love her. She even tells me when shes working (I didn't ask). Last Tuesday i'm there again, chat chat chat. One of my friends drips wax on her hand and it comes out that she doesn't have any feeling in her hands, looked at her hands, her left hand, her ringfinger has a ring on, ask if shes engaged, she replies yes, ask how long, she replies that since a month back (the weekend after I first called her). Promptly ask the her to fetch us some tequila and toasted on her good fortune, put on the "Nothings-wrong-Im-the
happiest-bastard-here" act, drink alot more, enough for me to lose self control (not falling over or slurring-speech) and I tell her that I have liked her since the first time I saw her (17 February, 19-21:00) shes still working so she
away from the table comes back and i notice her eyeshadows is a tad smudged.
I go home later weeping and cursing, the whole week im a total mess, can't sleep for more than 2-3 hours, I'm a bit better now, could actually sleep last night thanks to some pills.
I don't want to see her again, but if I close my eyes there she is staring back, and if I see her again I'm going to fall apart all over again.

I don't know what to do, do I move to a differant city, country? do i try to break up a relationship that has gone on this long for a chance of karma biting us on the ass?
i REALLY need some advice.

This is a girl who lied to you.

Don't read too much into the smudged eyeshadow, that stuff is highly unstable and you can't draw conclusions based on that.

A friend of mine is having pretty much the exact same problem. A girl, at a bar where woman use their cunning to extract larger tips lead guys to think there is more there than there actually is.

She blew you off with the coffee thing, if a girl really likes you, she's going to go out with you.

I think you should pick yourself up, dust yourself off, work on your selfconfidence and find a girl who really is interested and not a chick working at a bar. Remember they are trying to earn a tip.

I'm not a complete ass, I understand you are hurting but really don't you think you are worth being with someone who would at the very least be truthful with you?

Q: Okay, for starters, I'm 30, male.
I've been with my girlfriend for over 6 years, she's such a sweet person and I love her, but you know the excitement of the beginning has faded.

Now there's this girl, she's our common friend and she's amazingly beautiful, she's something special. What's amazing is that she never had a stable relationship although she certainly would like to.
Now I feel something changing inside me, my way of thinking about this other girl; can it be love? I don't really know, because we're pretty different and I don't think we could have a durable relationship, but somehow I feel an overwhelming attraction for her, and I DO know sex with her would be incredible.

Being such a sensitive person as I am, I am going through a horrible time, the only thing positive being my loss of appetite; my gf has noticed it and I and I have more or less dismissed it as a temporary situaton because of work, friends and all (it's been a hard year in those aspects), but she's probably thinking there may be a relationship problem behind this.

Now what to do? Shall I tell her? this could destroy our friendship, and I would really regret that (I guess it depends on how sympathetic and understanding a person you are), but I know I could give her some of the love and attention she deserves... I am also thinking about telling my girlfriend, she deserves sincerity, but who knows where this could bring us... At the moment I am thinking about telling the other girl, just to get it off my chest; she will probably reject me, but keeping it inside is hurting me. Telling my gf is in my mind too, but I'm not sure about it.

I can't help but feel this mixture of love and attraction/lust for her, and it's killing me. I don't believe denying it would rid me completely of her. I guess you can love two people at the same time, though I never thought I'd be in this situation myself. Damn, damn heart...

Life is messy, anyone who tells you it's all lollipops and candy corn is a liar.

There is a lot to process here. You have been with this girl for 6 years, that is a long time to invest into a relationship. What has changed that you no longer have the same feelings about the girlfriend?

At the very least break up with your girlfriend and don't string her along. Six years is a very long time and prolonging the break up make her more upset than she is going to be and it's just plain cruel. If she loves you she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship where the other person is entertaining the thought of "incredible sex" with another woman.

Maybe if you just think about it if your current girlfriend was to do this to you before you had feelings for this other woman. How would you feel? How would you react? How would you want to be treated?

These are the questions where you are going to find your answers.