Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Age: 18
Member Since: June 18, 2014
Answers: 4
Last Update: June 21, 2014
Visitors: 689
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20,f
I have a problem finding a boyfriend and I think it may be because of my appearance. I am 162cm tall,weigh about 65kg,I have long blonde hair,blue eyes and I dress nice. I am told by many people that I am actually beautiful but I have trouble believing it because it is really hard for me to find a boyfriend. I do take care of my looks but I'm no supermodel. My good friends and family told me they think I'm having difficulties with this because I don't want to go for just a one night stand,I want a serious relationship with a normal guy. But I feel like nobody will even try to get to know me because there are so many prettier girls than me out there. Pretty face will be gone,but a good woman will always be a good woman. So is appearance really the main factor for a guy who is choosing a possible girlfriend? Just thinking about it makes me stop pursuing anyone ever again.
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I strongly disagree that appearance is the most important quality in finding someone. I know PLENTY of girls who are not very pretty and have boyfriends. Appearance only catches the eye, but personality is really what matters and what will make someone fall truly in love.
When you say you have trouble finding a normal guy, does this mean that you have found plenty who find you attractive, but you have no attraction to them? Maybe you should spend more time getting to know them, unless they are asses right off the bat. Or do you mean not a single guy will talk to you? If that's the case, then maybe you need to put yourself out there more. Many guys nowadays are very superficial, so I understand what you mean when you say appearance is most important to them, but it's going to take time to find a guy who actually sees beyond that. Also, consider where you actually go to meet them. If you go to a nightclub or a bar, most guys will definitely just be looking for a one night stand. Just don't let yourself be fooled and believe that you're not pretty enough, I'm sure you are gorgeous. Just be confident, don't let the superficial men get you down, and keep looking for that special one(:
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Hello,
I am thinking about making some major decisions in my life, and I need to know if it's all worth it. (First, a little background) Last year, I met the love of my life. Before I met this guy, I was completely broken. I struggled with ADD, and depression, for most of my life, but I wasn't aware of it until recently, which had made me even more depressed at the time. I was heavily medicated on anti-depressants, and taking Aderrall, and was basically floating through life. I flunked out of school, and my college G.P.A dropped from a 3.7 to a 1.9. I was completely mortified, and just stopped attending school all together.
After I met him, he mad me stronger. Don't get me wrong, I have strength, in my own sense (I'm brave, and will stick up for the people and things I love), but, It's hard for me to see my worth, and I get discouraged very easily. My doctor tells me I'm a perfectionist, and that I don't do a lot of things, in fear that I won't do it right or perfectly, and he's right. I get horrible anxiety. Anyway, I had an instant connection with my love, (his name is Ronan). The day after we met, I asked him to be my boyfriend, which is totally out of character, because I've always been single, and he quickly agreed! He helped me through my depression for the next couple of months, and I was the happiest I've ever been. I swear, I did not feel happiness for maybe 3 years before that. I even stopped taking that medication that had me all empty inside. It was a horrible withdrawal, but he helped me through that too.
He was like sunshine; bright, free, warm, and beautiful. I loved his friends, and his family, that I had met, and they loved me. It was so good at that moment, but, of course there's a catch.
Ronan was not an American citizen, which I knew, but he was working on getting his work visa, and was heading in the right direction, so we were both hopeful. We didn't have any worries about it, until that horrible day came where he uttered, "I got denied for my visa, and have to go back home". My stomach dropped, and my heart broke. Ronan left in short notice, and it felt like the end, but! it wasn't. We couldn't let it be. Although Ronan was 3,000 miles away in Ireland, while I was in New York, we kept our relationship open, but going, and now till this day, we are still very much in love. So, that is just some background to the story.
Currently, I am trying to figure out if I should just drop my life here, and go and stay with him in Ireland for 3 months. I am so sad, and I feel completely empty without him here. His working situation has stopped him from being able to visit me, and myself, I always have shit jobs, due to my lack of degree, so financially, I always felt I couldn't visit him. But now, I'm looking at things differently. I keep thinking, what's the worst that can happen if I go? I'm 22 years old, don't have a job or career at the moment, and live at home. Ronan, is 27, has a career, and has his life together, but I feel if he was in my situation, he would just say fuck it. Wouldn't most? I'm still not in the best financial situation, it really is not financial smart at all, but I don't care. This is my happiness and sanity I am talking about here. I've always felt things so deep, and I really live for love and beauty, and happiness, and since my love and happiness can't be with me, it is really draining my soul, and making me go insane. I'm just so empty :/.
So, basically, I'm willing to sacrifice myself financially, for my sanity and happiness. Is it worth it? I don't want to stay there illegal, just for as long as my passport will allow me, then we eventually want to get married. I just haven't held him in my arms for a whole year now. I know when I come back home, I'll be dead broke, and in a little debt, but, I can get a job, and fix it, by the time my credit score really matters. That's the beauty of being young, right? :/ . Because, right about now, I feel like I could just die, in this current situation I'm in.... (link)
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This whole situation seems like one of those sad love stories that you can't help but to bawl your eyes out for. But all those stories usually have happy endings don't they? Hope so! I am truly sorry you are stuck in such a terrible situation:( It's hard for me to even give you good advice about this because it is just a lose/lose situation. You truly do seem to be in love with him and if you KNOW for a fact that he is as well and you will stay together and get married, then I do believe it's worth risking. To me personally, one's happiness is more important than anything else, what's the point of having money if you're not happy with it? But you would have to take into consideration, which situation would you be most content with- being with the love of your life but far away from your family and home, along with being broke (BUT gradually work your way up to middle class and live comfortably after years of hard work); OR risking the chance of feeling as depressed as you previously were, maybe worse (BUT may meet another man who would make you just as happy and you could spend the rest of your life with instead and not sacrifice yourself financially)? If you decide to risk it all, just please be smart about it and spend maybe another year really trying to find a job or two and saving up the money to go. It may also keep your mind off the situation and keep you busy so that you don't feel as depressed. I really hope all goes well and you find true happiness. Hope I helped(:
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I am married for 3.5 years. My husband thinks i dont deserve him. I am too inferior too him. He is a doctorate nd i am only a diploma holder. Nd moreover he thinks i am dumb which probably i am. He married me under family pressure nd now asks me to leave him. I come from a very orthodox family ehich doesnt accepts divorced ladies. I love my husband a lot nd dont want to leave him. But he is not happy with me. So i dont know what to do. Please advice. I am 26 years old. (link)
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It shocks me that you're husband would actually say that he is too good for you. Right then and there I would have left. And for what reason, because he has a higher degree? If intelligence is all that matters in your relationship, then it shouldn't even been considered a relationship. I think you deserve better, not him and if he wants to leave, then so be it! Makes it easier for you. Think about why you love him. You're feelings can be deceiving and if the only reason you want to be with him is because you're family won't approve, then it's not meant to be. I would think you're happiness is more important than anything to them and how can you enjoy you're life with a man who doesn't want to be with you? You are young and there's plenty of men who won't put you down like he is. Don't settle for someone who doesn't feel the same way you do. And don't ever let anyone make you feel inferior to themselves. You are not better than anyone and no one is better than you.
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My friends always pick on me because I'm skinny and it is embarrassing because they say it loudly. One time, someone offered me a cookie and I said no because I just finished lunch and they were like super loudly so everyone heard, but your not fat! Look at your wrist your so skinny! Just eat the cookie! I didn't even mention the word big or fat! Another, during a sleep away field-trip they were saying how they gained weight over the trip and when they asked how much weight I gained I said I didn't gain any, they started saying super loudly and saying that's because you didn't eat anything! You skipped all your meals! Which isn't even true. For one, i ate all my meals and ate several pop tarts during the time they served snacks which is twice a day and skipped only once because it was gross food and I went to my cabin and ate popcorn instead! I always tell them to stop because I eat enough and when I don't eat it's because I already ate but they never listen and continuously say it's because I don't eat which I know isn't true because I have been told that I have a big appetite. How do I respond next time they pick on me that isn't too serious that they think I'm mad but they won't brush off? (link)
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I would love to give you advice because I know exactly what you're going through and those who don't, can't really understand this situation. I have always been picked on as well (I'm 18 and I weigh 95 pounds) and yeah being naturally skinny is often considered a blessing, but that doesn't mean we want to be reminded of it 24/7. It's hard for other people to understand that it upsets you because they probably think they are complimenting you rather than insulting or offending you. So don't get mad at them if they don't know how it's affecting you. That's why you should just tell them straight up, don't sugar coat or they won't listen, but also don't be rude or they'll think you're just being uptight. You are only explaining to them that you don't like the way they make fun of you, you're not insulting them so they shouldn't get mad about it or anything. Just be serious with them and tell them yeah you're skinny but it gets realllly annoying when they harass you about it, especially when you're being accused of starving yourself and not eating. Also, I don't know about you but I was always extremely self conscious of my body and my weight so if that's a problem for you too, add that in and it may help your friends get a better understanding as to why you don't like being made fun of for being skinny. If they don't listen, then they obviously don't care about you're feelings and are not worth being friends with.
Hope I helped, good luck (:
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