ShelbyB's advice column

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Q: Hi im 15 male and i have been unsure about my sexuality and now i think im gay i really am more attracted at guys i thought i liked girls but looking at guys really turns me on ive become more and more attracted to guys and i want to start looking for a boyfriend is this a normal
feeling?

It's very normal. If you're wanting a bf then you are gay and you should just be you because you're not going to be able to deny your feelings towards men and you won't be comfortable with a girl. I hope this answered what you were wondering. If not then email me. (:

Q: At my school, each form have been asked to do a competition for the year 11s and the subjects have to be on spanish,German, Latin.
My group picked Spanish, as I am the leader I have to think of something to do. We were going to dance, but, turns out most forms have chose dance. We want something different!
PLEASE, PLEASE HELP!

Maybeee.... A comedic play with some dance mixed in with it so you look better than the ones who just danced? (:

Q: my best friend/boyfriend has moved once before when we were younger and he came back... Well last summer he had to move agian to the same place because his grandpa(whom he lived with) died. I know we hav a connection but i dnt think he ever thinks about me... Im also afraid hell never come back.. Will he? I miss him sooo mutch!! Somewhere im almost sure ill c him again, but then on the otherside i stress myself out saying he wont....... What do YOU guys think?

PS i know it has nothing to do with this subject, but i feel horrible... im allways fastign and i just dnt feel hungry anymore.... now im sitting here eating a giant salad because iv sworn to myself over and over again tht im fat... Cause i am! im only 12, 5'5, and i weigh 220lbs...... i feel so..... sad... and pitiful.... WTF do i do??

So start off thinking... That you are only twelve.. You hve your whole life to be with guys. You shouldnt worry so much about it. You'll probably see him again one day but if he tells you he wont then get over it, move on, find new people. Relationships don't usually get real until highschool. Just wait it out. And fat is just a word. If you reeally don't want to be that bug then you can always do something about it. Lose the weight. Don't be sad!! Just smile it out(; youre young, life goes on. (:

Q: First off I'm 14 and a chick and sorry if this is in the wrong category.

I love writing stories with my favourite character Alexei, sometimes creepy or scary, always involving deaths.

My dad is an English/Creative writing teacher and he proofreads them and also I take a creative writing class.

I want to be a better writer, and use better word choices and make the stories creepier or sadder, any suggestions? Thank you!

You have to go into deeper thought. Use more words to describe it. Make the reader feel like theyre there or they can feel what the charector was feeling. Like instead of saying the flowers were yellow. you say: The beautiful rows of golden colored, misted flowers that flowed in the warm summer breeze. Lmao, something along those lines. You could use a Synonym finder to find better choice of words. The more you can feel the writing the better. If you know what im saying. :p

Q: I've...sigh...I was dating this great guy for almost 3 months. Things were great, he's great albeit sometimes a little distant. He's sort of introverted and is used to his independence. Maybe I pushed too hard on trying to find a label or I didn't know how to ask how he felt about me. We had had a conversation that he wasn't ready for a relationship, but being exclusive with me was the thing for him. Which is ohh I dunno...a relationship. Whatever. I know he likes me and I like him too, and miss him.
It was mutual I guess, I didn't want to trap anyone into a relationship they didn't want to be in and he wasn't ready to admit that IT was what he was in and liking it. Either way we broke it off and the next day I texted me and he asked me for time to think things over. We've been texting all week. Sometimes I won't text him at all, and he'll initiate communication, online or over text. We'll talk and ask about each others day...it's torture. It's been going on for about a week and there hasn't been a night were I haven't cried. I play it cool and never mention the issue at hand and he does the same. But the separation is really hurting me. I tend to be uncomplicated and like things to the point, so this waiting period is kinda painful. But I think he's worth it. I know we miss each other, and I've been waiting for him to just step up and say what he I know is in his heart...but he's so scared. I can tell.
This morning I wrote a letter to him explaining everything from my end. What I feel, how I'm willing to give him time, and if he'd just give me a high sign if he thinks we can get back together and get through this bump in the road together. I haven't made up my mind to send it or not. Help? Please?

You shouldnt keep torturing yourself. You should tell him it hurts to much to talk to him and tell him you cant do it. If you stop talking to him and he really does like you, he'll miss you so much that he'll realize what he wants. If you let him keep you around and youre always there anyways who wont feel he needs to change the situation as fast or at all. He doesnt know what he wants so show him. And if he doesnt do anything about you not talking to him then you should probably find another. Because thats like saying he doesnt care you left his life.

Q: Okay im 16/f and i started having sex at age 13 ive only had sex with men i enjoy it but i always have fantasys about women and i fine them attractive sexually and emotionally, ive never done anything with a girl only a kiss. Im with a man right now but i feel like something wrong i wish i could figure myself out please help me

Try dating a girl. If it feels right then thats who you are.

Q: Well, today my best friend's ex boyfriend, Edson, asked me if he should do something special for her, on Valentine's Day, and then ask her out. I don't know what to tell him because my best friend Jessica is barley getting over him and she is into this other guy who she has been crushing on for almost 2 years, he also likes her. But it's hard because Edson is also my friend and I don't want him to get hurt too. But Jessica has been my best friend for 7 years and I definitely don't want her to get hurt. What should I do? And should I tell Jessica that he asked me this or should I keep it to myself?

Keep it to yourself. If they broke up then he shouldnt have let her go for so long. Its too late for Edson and you have to let him know that. Even if it means, he'll be hurt..
She needs to get over him because if theres a guy she really likes and he likes her then you should let that play out first and give her a chance to be with someone new. And if that doesnt work out than you can tell edson he can sweep her off her feet. But for now, he shouldnt do anything and let her be.

Q: Okay so i have a pimple on my chin.. & i have to present something tomorrow help! how can you get rid of them fasTt?

There are Clearasil rapid action acne pads that are supposed to reduce redness and size in four hours. Theres also things you can do by stuff you just find around in your house.
Pouring a small amount of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda into a cup and adding a little water to make a paste. Dab small amounts of the paste on the acne and let it sit for a few minutes. Gently scrub your face with the remaining paste. The baking soda cleanses your skin thoroughly, removes dead skin cells, loosens blackheads, and makes your face feel clean and smooth. Toothpaste can do more than just clean teeth if can also clear acne. Dab a small amount on the acne but make sure you use regular toothpaste, not any of those flavored kinds. You can also use Crest toothpaste on the acne and cover with a band-aid overnight to help the swelling go down.
If all else fails, cover it up with make up and pretend its not there! :p
Good luck on your presentation! ;D

Q: Hello I am a 13 year old girl. I am 5'5 and I weigh about 150lbs. I honestly think I am very fat and I am not very active! What are some ways I can loose weight?

You will have to be more active. For every 3,500 calories you work off, is one pound you lose. So If you eat less calories and burn them off with some excersise you should be good to go! But eating less calories doesnt mean eat less food. You just need to be eating good food with low calories. Most of the time you should eat small amounts of food through out the day to keep your metabolism going. If you stop eating normal amounts of food, like eating way less, then your metabolism slows down and when you eat it goes straight to storage. So it is good to eat, just small amounts of healthy, low calorie stuff. And by the way, that is not fat. I weighed way more than that when i was 13. :p

Q: How do i know when a guy likes me?

When he wants to talk to you all the time, even in front of his friends. Or if he says he likes to hang out with you. There's lots of little things you can pick up on and just know he likes you or not. Like if he looks at you a certain way, or the things he says.

Q: I have a pritty complex problem. Jist is i'm 22, female and live in the UK, yet have no idea where to go from here. When I was 15 i was diagnosed with depression and OCD and have been struggling with it ever since. I was quite bright and really wanted to go to uni, though I could never make my mind up what I wanted to do and bcos of my depression and OCD I found it impossible to keep up with my studies or be on time for anything so I dropped out. Whenever I went to seek medical help, I was put on a waiting list and finally got appointments which I could never then make on time so they kept discharging me and I never got help. I dropped out of education and have since had a few dead end minimum wage jobs which I have consequently been sacked from for being late. I now have one where I just manage to get to on time, but its a huge struggle to do so and is only a few hours a week. My self esteem is now zero and I still can't make up my mind what I want to do and am afraid if I enter education again, I wont be able to keep up with it as I'm a severe perfectionist, can't make another job or classes on time and I still don't know what I want to do. Also because i'm 22, I now need to pay for all ed, which I can't afford on this terrible pay packet. I want to study many things at once and don't have enough money to do so.

Also, I have been going out with my boyfriend for over a year and a half and a few months ago found out he liked someone else - basically after an argument I said we were over and so he went out with mates I said I wouldnt be at The house (I moved in living there for about 6 months now) so he came back with them plus these girls I had never met and didnt expect me to be there. I didnt want it to be over and was really upset and he basically spent the whole time with a particular girl and crashed with her on the sofa. Then a few days later, we had made up but were on shaky ground by then, he went out with friends again got drunk and rang my phone by accident after I text him and left a voicemail saying about him fancying this other girl and calling me a psycho. I left him again but he begged me back, I said only if one you stop getting rat assed drunk and never even see her again at all. He agreed to these. This though has destroyed what little trust I had left. He would hide girl mates from me, all of which would be hitting on him. Even one time we were in pub he had made an effort that night had been there once or twice before and disappeared to toilet for like 20 mintues so I was like where were you - petting a dog. Bascially he had actually been hit on by this girl and gave her his number then proceeded to lie to me about it and then text her for the remaining night - I was livid bout it. I also said never go near her if you want to be with me. So no contact until this month where I go away with mates and leave him in town and he spends all night with this girl and then lies about being with her. I have no trust left no and am so heart broken cos I fell in love with him and he tries to say he loves me but I don't understand how you can fancy someone else if you are in love with a person. I cant do it. Trouble is I live at his house and want to move out yet have no where to go. I feel stuck in this crap relationship just cos i am stuck living here. I just want to go. I still love him and being here is too painful. Since Jan this year there has been problems with other girls and I cant take it anymore. I use to trust him and let him do his own thing, but it seems I was never enough. This has made me feel even worse, so the other day I got hold of the shot gun he legally owns and tried to kill myself, but he caught me before I could pull the trigger. He just took the gun off me yet didnt even try and be there for me when I just needed someone. How is that love on his part?

Now basically the only time I leave the house is to go to the 20odd hours a week job. I have basically shut myself away and given up on life. I dont know how to get out of all this. I feel anxious of people when I leave the house as I feel they will just ruin me. I have only a few friends left, but they are not ones I can depend on or turn to. I cant depend on my boyfriend/ex as he freaks out if I ever talk about how i'm feeling. Is it possible for me to become an inpatient somewhere where I can perhaps get some intensive treatment and get away from here because I just dont see the point in waking up each day, have no clue where to even start sorting my life out and so just want to end it because dying has got to be better then living in misery every single day. Is there any other agencies, funding or anything that can help me to get my life back on track, help me get into education again or just get well. Please help x

Also my parents are getting divorced and have sold the house, so I cant go stay with them. I don't know where they will go. Sorry this is really long, I just thought detail would be best

Leave. Just go. Leave everything behind and travel the world. See if you can find yourself on the way. Meet new people, be around a new setting, expeirence life. It's what you need to do. Your stuck, the only thing to do is get unstuck right? Just go place to place. Just get enough money so you can go to the next place and go adventure. Live a little. Sooner or later you will find what your looking for. You can take all your belongings to one of your parents house and just leave it all. Experience the unexpeirenced and you shall live a life of wonder and adventure. You could become a photographer as a side job, take pictures of where you travel. Theres always something better to do with your life than ending it. Always. Some how, some day, you will find your way. Promise. (: