Member Since: November 15, 2008
Answers: 11
Last Update: December 5, 2008
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thelaura
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ok so
i dont know where to start
i dont live at home, im 15 and havent lived at home since i was 13 i just moved somewhere good and safe but before i lived all over it was hard but it was what i knew i used to move back home. But then me and my dad would fight and he owuld hit me and or just yell and scream and scare me.
this is something i wrote after a had a flash back of him yelling
But it’s just, just fucked
I get so scared
I see him
And half of me doesn’t think he did anything
He says he didn’t
But did he
What is abuse what does it mean?
When minard yells and uses contradiction and that tone
I don’t see minard I see my dad I see his hand in my face and that way he say huh and answer me god dammit and the way he he hits things or when it wont be an object it will be me
But then I will hit back I will scream and yell I refuse to be a victim
How am I such a contradiction?
This is what I mean by not knowing who I am
I just can’t get half this stuff out
Is it like?
I don’t know
But I know right now it’s a real fear.
I know when people rough house with me and call me names
Sometimes I get transported back into the times with my dad
I don’t know anymore
I don’t know if I am happy
I don’t know when I was I know that sometimes things will be good
Really good
I will be having a blast but then it will hit me that its not what it seems
And then I become dependant on people
Why do I think people that aren’t him are why do I get scared.
sorry if it doesnt make sense
im in a rather upset state of mind (link)
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If your father has ever hit you, that is physical abuse. If he has yelled at you, called you names, cut you down and caused you this confusion over your identity, victimized you, or intimidated you, this is psychological abuse.
He does not have a right to do the things he has done to you, and it is good that you are living away from him. Maybe later in your life and his he will realize what he's done and will try to make it up to you, but right now it's all lies. If you keep going back home because things might get better, he won't take you seriously, he'll think that you'll always come back and that he has the power over you.
But like you said - refuse to be victimized. Don't let him have physical or emotional control over you. When people joke around with you and call you names, let the flashback go through you and give yourself permission to forget about it: he does not have to control you. Give yourself permission to trust people and know that you can always redact that trust if anyone violates it. You are in control.
What you're going through is normal for the situation you're in and there's nothing wrong with feeling the way you do. I've found that through difficult times it really helps to keep a journal - when you feel upset, afraid, or angry, go to the journal and write down every thought and feeling you have, don't hold anything back. No one will ever see it or know about it, it's just yours. Write your dad letters that you don't send, and you can say whatever you need to say in them. Just get everything out and allow yourself to feel that emotion when you're in a completely safe space that's all your own.
Also, you may want to consider talking to a counselor, either at school or a professional. Personally I find journaling to help much more, but talking out the things you're feeling with a professional might help you sort everything out as well.
I'm sorry you're going through this, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me at Nevaeh314@gmail.com.
I hope this helps -
Love,
Pascal
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is their a kind of concealer or cover up that hides pimples really well? im so self conscious because i have pimples all over my chin =[
any advice? (link)
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I agree with the other answers that say you should try to get rid of it, but I know how frustrating it can be while you're waiting for it to heal.
If the pimples are red, put a green concealer on before you use a skin-colored concealer. Green is the complementary color of red, hence they neutralize each other. Just put a small amount of green on the red parts, then blend a skin-tone concealer over it. Don't use oil-based makeup as this will probably increase acne, and make sure you wash it off every night.
Hope this helps!
-Pascal
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Okay so starts I am 17 years old, I work 32-34 hours a week. I drive my boyfriend to and from work in the morning at at night picking him up at 1 am. i get enough sleep. I have been pretty tired lately sitting on the couch and just falling asleep and i smell onions all the time. i dont eat the or anything. and i crave grape soda all the time?? (link)
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It actually sounds like a nutrient deficiency. Offhand I would hazard a guess at the B Vitamins. Deficiencies in these can make you have odd cravings and be very tired. Another symptom here is chapped lips. As for the onions, I'm not sure.
I would check with a doctor, because those are odd symptoms that you shouldn't just dismiss. Also, check with a doctor before taking any vitamin supplements, because you want to make sure you're getting the right ones and not overdosing on anything.
Hope this helps!
Pascal
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Things between my mother and I have been not so great for the entirety of my life. However, lately things have gotten extremely bad. At the start of summer I moved out, and when i moved back in things seemed a little better, because she knew I meant business and could leave. Then things were better for a while, but lately she's gone back to verbally abusing me, getting trashed every night and going on these upsetting tangents, so the other night I tried to commit suicide. I was rushed to the hospital and had my stomach pumped and am now staying with a friend. What should I do? I feel like i cannot go back, but now i won't have my car because my mom owns it, my jobs are all back where I live, and I don't know what to do. Help. (link)
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I think you first need to examine why you tried to commit suicide. It sounds like you're feeling like you have no control over your life: you have no car, no job, and nowhere to live unless it's with your mom, so it's like she has you trapped.
You might be a bit stuck for a while. If your friend will let you stay with him/her for the time being, you should do that. I know from experience that you should NOT go back to living with your mom just yet. It would be great if you were able to find a job while you're with your friend. That serves two purposes: 1) You're not taking advantage of anyone and 2) You'll have an income, which is important if you think about moving out permanently.
If you can't stay with your friend for very long, do you have family nearby that you could stay with?
Meanwhile, you should try to talk to a counselor. You've had this sort of relationship with your mom your entire life, it's affected you significantly. It would be really good to have someone to talk to who will be able to help with the situation. Eventually you might want to consider going to counseling with your mom. It sounds like she's probably going through some issues herself and counseling might help begin to heal the relationship you have.
Whatever you decide on, I feel for you. This is a difficult situation and there are no answers that won't require a lot of work on your part and hopefully some on your mother's as well. Suicide is not the only option even when it feels like all other doors are closed.
I'd be happy to talk more with you on this and help you out, I've had some similar situations and I understand how absolutely frustrating it is. Feel free to email me if you want to, Nevaeh314@gmail.com.
I hope this helps. Hang in there -
Love,
Pascal
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is bad eyesight entirely genetic? (link)
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No. (Although it is genetic to some degree). Hence, with whatever eyesight you have, do not look into lasers or stare directly into the sun. :)
~Pascal
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around what amount of money would be considered expensive for college? inexpensive or reasonable?
thanks! (link)
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It really depends on your economic status, I suppose, as well as what kind of student aid you're getting and whether the school gives you any scholarships. Many private schools will be in the range of $20,000 - $30,000, but give generous 4-year scholarships and sometimes partial tuition waivers if you're a good student.
In general, though, I would say anything under $10,000/year is rather inexpensive. $10,000 to about $22,000 is average and generally reasonable. Above that and it might be fairly expensive, but again, these are the schools that usually give out the most money in student aid and it will probably significantly reduce your student bill.
Hope this helps!
Pacal
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well im a girl, and i have had many boyfriends. but latley i think .. differently about girls? and i start to get .. different feelings around them. does this automatically mean im gay? (link)
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Nothing automatically means you're anything. I'm not sure how old you are, and that can play a huge factor in determining your sexuality, but for the time being just consider your own feelings. Is the attraction you feel to girls more physical or emotional? Or is it both? And do you still have these feelings for boys?
Let these feelings settle for a while, and see if you find yourself subconsciously envisioning yourself in a relationship with a girl, or if you think of yourself as gay.
Just know that there is nothing wrong with you or the way you're feeling, no matter what your sexual orientation. Straight women sometimes are attracted to other women, and the same goes for men. But if you are gay, (or bi), don't try to suppress it. We all deserve to be with whoever makes us feel comfortable and happy.
Hope this helps, feel free to ask me any more questions!
Pascal
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At universities the course numbers of your classes are in the 100s, the 200s, the 300s, etc. and a 100 level class (ie. Psych 101) is the easiest level and they get harder and harder by level. I'm assuming most universities do it some way simliar to this? Well, the university i go to requires that in order to graduate, a certain amount of your credits have to be from 300 level classes. I'm kind of worried that those classes will be super hard and having to take a bunch of them might be a problem. So, what i'm wondering is if this is pretty common among grad. requirements at most universities, or if this is just something mine does. I know some probably do and some probably don't and not all universities are the same, but i'm wondering if a requirement like this is pretty stardard or not?
Thanks! (link)
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This is common. Rather than think of the 100, 200, 300, and 400 level courses as increasing in their degree of difficulty, think of it like freshman courses (100s), sophomore courses (200s) and so on. 300 level courses aren't really much harder than 100 levels. What I actually find is that 100 level courses are introductory in a given subject, and so they have a lot of material to cover, are fast-paced and broad. 300 level courses tend to be more specialized in a given area, so they cover much less material and explain it more in-depth. So they can be slower paced and you'll spend longer on each topic, giving you a chance to learn it really well.
Of course, this probably varies by discipline a bit. I'm more involved with the sciences and math, but I've taken a fair number of courses from arts and humanities numbered in the 300s and 400s and they haven't been too bad either. Talk with your adviser and other students about the upper levels to get an idea of which ones have a heavy course load and which ones are a bit lighter, and check out sites like ratemyprofessor.com to see if the prof teaching the course tends to be easy or harder.
Anyways, though. Back to your original question: Yes, this is a fairly standard practice.
Hope this helps!
Pascal
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ok so last year i took world history and i forgot the term that is used when a widow throws herself in the fire of her dead husband. I think it was a Middle East tradition. Strange to be asking, i know. I think it started with an S (link)
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It's called "Sati," although I've seen it spelled "Suttee." Also, I've heard it referred to as concremation or widow-burning. If you want more information about it and the debates that centered around this issue, you should google "Ram Mohan Roy," an Indian philosopher who was strongly against this practice.
Hope this helps!
Pascal
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when you run on treadmill do you loose weight? how long a day should i run a day? how much will i loose in a month? (link)
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You'll lose weight if you burn more calories than you eat in a day. Your body already burns anywhere between 1500 - 2000 calories just doing your normal daily activities and such things like breathing and keeping your heart beating. This number depends on your age, weight, metabolism, and body composition, so that's a rough estimate above.
You'll probably lose weight if you run on the treadmill because you'll be expending calories. As long as you eat the recommended calorie amount and healthily, you should have no trouble losing weight.
The amount of time you should run depends on how in shape you are right now. I would recommend 30 minutes/day, 4 days/week. The off days allow your body time to recover.
If you also cut back your calorie consumption to around 1500 calories/day, you would probably lose 1-2 pounds per week doing this.
Hope this helps!
~Pascal
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Ok i have this 2 page essay do for english, I don't want any answers from anyone! that would be cheating, i just need help!! i have a.d.d really bad, and i can't get put on meds til next month, i really just don't understand this can anyone help me??
heres' the essay question.
Reflect on the speech and actions of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth throughout the play. Which character is more morally corrupt? Consider the efforts made by both characters to acquire and maintain power and status. Also think about instances in the play where each character shows doubt or remorse. Support your answer with specific details from the play.
(link)
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Basically, it's asking you to consider morality. Macbeth and Lady Macbeth might do immoral things, but why are they doing them? And do they show any guilt in having done them?
For example, consider this: If your mother is going to kill your father, is it immoral for you to kill her? And if you did kill her, are you redeemed in any sense by feeling remorse?
That might be a kind of gruesome example, but those are the kind of ethical considerations I think the question is leading you to. By considering each character, you'll be able to decide who is more morally corrupt. (And make sure that's in your thesis!) Don't forget to use actual quotes and examples from the play.
Good luck, I hope this helps.
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