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Member Since: June 22, 2018
Answers: 19
Last Update: June 25, 2018
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Last week, I [F/15] went away with a friend [F/15] and her family to their weekend home. It's out by this beautiful lake in this small, middle-of-nowhere type town.

We arrived around noon and me, my friend, and her little brother spent the first couple hours fishing on the pier in their backyard. We went inside afterward and her brother then showed us a pair of handcuffs his uncle had given him as a birthday present. He'd left them behind the last time they were there. My friend and I took them and decided to handcuff ourselves together as a joke. Only problem was her brother then realized he didn't remember where he'd put the keys.

We searched the house but couldn't find them. Finally he remembered that they were in his room back home, four hours away. Like I said before, we were in a small town, so there was no local locksmith. These weren't police issue cuffs, so we couldn't call the cops and ask them for a key. Our only options were to cut them off or stay handcuffed until the next night.

Since we didn't want to destroy her brother's present and since it was our own fault we hadn't located the key before putting them on, we decided to own our bone-headed move and stay cuffed together.

We had a blast the rest of the time we were there. We carried on as planned and didn't let the fact that we were stuck together get in the way. We fished some more. We hiked in the woods. We even went into town for ice cream. We made smores around a campfire in the backyard. It was awesome.

We arrived back at her usual house around 8 pm the next day. We were finally uncuffed after a little more than 24 hours like that.

When my mom found out about what happened, she blew her top. She couldn't believe my friend's parents left us stuck like that and even called them up to chew them out. Like it wasn't our decision and it's not like we had any problems. I'm scared my mom won't let me go away on another trip with my friend because of this. What should I do? (link)
If you still live with your mother and she pays for the bills and all of your basic needs, and since you're underage, you have to respect your mother's decision, even if you think she's overreacting. I wouldn't have lasted long handcuffed to a friend because I do prefer to go to the restroom and shower in privacy. Like you mentioned before, sometimes you just have to accept the consequences.


i'm not exactly happy when i get what i've been wanting from a long time, be it a material thing or just ordinary stuff like my favorite dish that i've not had in a long time. i noticed this often and i don't expect much satisfaction before getting it and yet i kinda feel empty inside.
things that were/are special to me doesn't feel much special anymore
like a song that i like a lot and haven't heard in a long time doesn't feel the same when i hear it
the intensity of it's effects that was before is now gone,and it's not just a song it's about most of the stuff
i wanted something from like 2 years and i recently got it and i wasn't exactly happy
i was like "oh.. ok..."
i mean i wanted it so bad and when i got it it felt empty !
Thankyou for taking your time in reading this ! (link)
I get it. Same thing happened to me. I wanted something back in 2013, maybe even a little before that. I finally got it around late 2017. Similar response. I don't know, maybe our lack of interest is due to us changing (our priorities changing)? Maybe try exploring new interests instead of revisiting old ones? If that doesn't work out well, then go back to your old interests but try alternative options. Ex.) You got bored of playing acoustic guitar? Try bass. You got bored of your usual playlist? Try a different genre.


25/f

I feel like I am back in high school when I feel/think this way.

I had a crush on this guy four years ago. There was just something about him. Maybe I just thought he was cute? I'm not sure. I met him at a bar and he didn't remember me at all. Since he was in his partying phase and he told me he was drinking a lot back then. "Borderline alcoholic" is what he would tell me.

Speeding up to this year (no, he's not drinking as much anymore now): A month ago, I reached out to him to see how he was doing. And we started talking and it turns out there was an immediate spark between us. When we both saw each other, we acted neutral towards each other until a stranger tried hitting on me. So, because of that he told the stranger that I was his girlfriend and he kissed me. After that kiss, it's when it started. He told me he thought I was cute, he liked my personality, and he wanted to take me out on a proper date. I said "yes."

We spoke via text everyday, and he would continue to tell me he was looking forward to seeing me. He also mentioned he was going to be out of the country for a month. The day I saw him (Friday), we decided to skip dinner and to get drinks since neither of us was hungry. Again, later on that day, we kissed. He told me he was leaving at 2 AM the next day so he was going to pack. Before I left, he asked me if I wanted him to go with me. I said "no" and that I don't sleep with people on the first date. He understood and said it was a good thing. He kissed me again and told me that he liked me, was going to bring something back for me, and asked if it was okay if I saw a lot more of him when he got back from his trip. Again, I said "yes."

The next day, we didn't speak a lot. We spoke here and there. Then when it came to Sunday, I thought he was traveling but I noticed that he was online a lot but we didn't speak. I thought, "hey, maybe he has WiFi on the plane and he's just on it." I eventually messaged him a picture of my dog thinking he'd see it whenever he landed. And he immediately responded. Turns out he was in town for another day and he was just then going to the airport.

Two days after that, he didn't really speak to me at all (unless I said something first). I'm trying not to take it personal but he talks to his friends online, too. I'm reminding myself that he's on vacation and I'm probably not going to hear from him a lot. But I can't help but think if someone really did like me, he would at least say something here and there.

I've been trying to give him his space to do what he wants/needs to do. After all, he is on vacation. Am I thinking too much into this? (link)
Yes you are thinking too much about this. He is clearly not. Just move on. You might have different 'expectations'. You might be thinking a little more long term...he might be thinking a little more passive, one-night stand. Just take your dignity and call it a 'break even' or something. If he were truly interested then he would be all over you. Don't take it as an insult. He's just in that phase where he's a territorial macho that hasn't settled down.


Can I still qualify to be a security guard if I have a mental health diagnosis such as schizophrenia w/ bipolar, as long as I'm able to do my job? (link)
As long as you can do your job, you should be good. *And Stay on the medication and therapy* However, some places discriminate (even though they shouldn't because of the whole Equal Opportunity Act). Just be careful where you choose to work at.


Long story short, just to avoid length, I like him, he doesnt know. He explicitly stated that he'll never like me back. We're both 19, we're bestfriends. I'm hoping I'd just let this feeling fade to preserve our friendship. But everyday, it just seems like a reminder that he'll never like me back. If I become honest, he said he'll drop the friendship. (link)
If it hurts you to keep him as a friend and he threatens to cut the friendship then girl...don't even bother. Move on. Get yourself a new friend, and who knows maybe you'll meet someone that may actually appreciate you.


Hello,
In our 30’s

He’s an ex boyfriend of few months. He broke up with me because he wanted to be with his kids and gf. Still says he loves me when we see each other. Still the same polite, loving and caring boy. Even though we broke up we still see each other and keep making love whenever he’s at mine (I feel awful) but I still love him, love him deeply and he’s aware of that. He says he can’t be with me but says he enjoys my company and making love when we see each other. We broke up months ago. We had an argue over he can’t be with me and I told him fine, whatever, few days ago but today he asked me if I had bought a condom as I forgot the other day. So I don’t understand, we broke up, he says he can’t be with me and still he wants to visit like before and make love to me? He also said he loves making love to me and and enjoys my company. What’s this guys? Are we both a worse people in the world? He wants to keep in seeing me well we both want to? Is he not over me entirely? WHY WOULD HE STILL WANTS TO KEEP ON MAKING LOVE with me? I mean, when I asked him if he has made love to her but he said NO only YOU. So what’s this? He loves me more than her but he has to be with her because of their kids? Please don’t judge me. I’M SORRY! (link)
He's saying all this to you because it is convenient to him. He is a cheater and you are the side chick. He has a family and kids, and most likely he won't leave them. He hasn't yet. But it's convenient to tell you what you want to hear so that he can get what he wants from you. Don't believe what he tells you, because he is probably saying the same lies to the mother of his kids, except she actually has something to keep him legally bound to her.


someone had a pet in the mall food court...health hazard ??? should it be reported....dogs shake dander etc....so it shouldn't be in the food court where people eat right? its not a service dog.....your take?? (link)
Don't eat at the mall food court if it bothers you. If she wasn't kicked out when it happened then I'm assuming it's no problem.


I am a 29 year old female and I have a date with a guy that i knew in high school that I have not seen in 10 years. We are going bowling and out to eat . I have no idea what to wear. I am so nervous. I still leave at home with my mom and my mom wants to meet him plus she wants me back home by midnight. How do i tell this guy that i have not seen in 10 years that i have a curfew? (link)
Tell him: "I know this may seem kinda weird, but I kinda have a curfew. I hope you don't mind? Hehe."


I live in a house with 3 other housemates. In total, there are 3 women and 1 guy. We have lived together 2 years.

Two of us (female) are in our early twenties and the other girl and guy are in their early thirties. We have had a great dynamic. We are all really great friends and supportive of each other. We all hang out occasionally.

Everything just went south yesterday when my guy housemate (let's call him Jake) told both me and my other younger roommate separately (she's my very dear friend- let's call her Lisa) that he has developed romantic feelings for both of us.

Lisa responded by immediately going on a date with another guy today. As for me, I am extremely confused. I have been friends with Jake for 5 years and we have a great, playful dynamic that other people have mistaken for a romantic couple. He is very attractive. But I thought we were like siblings and always envisioned him being with someone else.

And now Lisa is mad at me, because she wanted to talk to me about how her date went when she got home yesterday. But I was talking to Jake so I didn't end up talking to her, and now she is avoiding talking to me.

Jake and I would be a great match except that Jake isn't as religious as I am, which is my number one deal breaker. He said yesterday he is invested in exploring his faith more, especially because his parents have always wanted that, but he hasn't yet.

And I don't understand why he has feelings for two people simultaneously- that seems like cheating, even though none of us are in relationships, which is weird.

I am very confused. This feels like a strange, really badly written sitcom. I'd appreciate any advice on what to do next. Thanks (link)
I may sound vulgar saying this, but it seems like your 30 year old male friend might want to have a threesome with two girls nearly a decade younger than him. Your female friend may seem offended because clearly she feels you prefer 'him' than her. I would value her friendship over his sleazy ways. He's just trying to see who "loosens up" first. Check your priorities, and ultimately it's your choice.


Alright so my boyfriend and I have a great relationship but it feels like sometimes he lives in a double life. For instance yesterday we were hanging out and he didn’t want to come and get food w me or go to the mall “because he didn’t want to hold me back” so I went by myself and then when I got to his house which this is what happens a lot we just go downstairs in his room and lay on his bed. He either falls asleep or we watch Netflix and it was a beautiful day out and we were sitting in his basement per usual. Then he went out and didn’t text me back all night like actually all night even after multiple times I have texted him. I am getting bored of feeling alienated from his life because behind that basement door everything is good and then he opens it and he’s a different person and I just really need help because he’s out partying and stuff and then can’t wake up the next morning when we have plans to go to breakfast because he’s too tired. His double life or what seems to be like that is getting in the way of us spending time together and I’m getting bored. What do I do? (link)
Well, seems like he has a side life going on. If a guy wants to spend time with a girl he WILL spend time with a girl and do his best to consume all of her time. So, if your guy is acting strangely, I'd say don't bother. Especially if you're feeling put off by it. Just move on. There's no reason to sit back and find out why he's acting like this or figuring out what could be his reason for not wanting to spend time with you, when clearly you WANT to spend time with HIM. The guy is just not in it. You'll find someone else to appreciate you.


14 year old female. For as long as I can remember, my mom has always spoken over and interrupted me. If we're having anything from a heated argument to a simple conversation, she'll listen to like half my sentence then start talking. Once, we were arguing and I was going to say something when she interrupted by screaming at me. When I claimed she interrupted, she replied that she "knew what I was going to say" but she had the completely wrong idea.

Worse than that, if someone asks me a question she'll answer for me whether it's 'what are you doing in school?' Or 'how are you?' Even my dad has pointed this out, and she does this to my two siblings as well. From the moment I was born, she has forced me to do things I don't want to do and decided I would be a lawyer. I don't want to be a lawyer, I want a creative carreer, and it pisses me off that she constantly tries to push back on my hobbies just because it doesn't fit what she wanted to be but failed at. I've tried telling her this several times and she claims that since she's my mother she can do this.

In addition, she's annoying in other ways. First of all, I remember I used to be suicidal (not anymore, have gotten phsyciatric help). I tried telling her I was depressed, and she told me to get over it and how she's had it worse-in fact, she yelled at me to get the FUCK over it. Then later on she invades my privacy by reading my journal and goes all 'why didn't you tell me you were suicidal?????' And guilt trips me through the whole healing process with 'you do NOT get to put me through hell and back and then...' everytime I do something she doesn't like.

Once she caught me with a girlfriend and figured out I like girls. I specifically told her I want to come out to the family on my time, on my own terms, especially since I was 13 and wasn't sure if I was gay or bi yet (or if liking girls was just a phase, for that matter) but she takes it upon herself to out me as gay to everyone she knows.

She complains I don't have a relationship with her. But she expects me to jump whenever she wants to do something while never doing anything I want to do. I'll give an example: I rented the 2012 Les Mis movie and invited her to watch it with me since Les Mis is my favorite musical. She decides to be on her phone the whole time. I try to talk about anything I like and she nods me off.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of being spoken over and guilt tripped over everything. She keeps claiming she wants to improve our relationship, but doesn't wanna do anything other than be all "I'm the mother so shut up" how do I deal with this? (link)
You're mother may be slightly narcissistic, but as soon as you're of age you can move out. So if this is your plan, I'd say start saving up right now. Seems like you're eager to start your life already so really it's just your age and your mother (maybe) holding you back at this point.


I'm currently having a mental and emotional battle with myself because i'm having a hard time in figuring out what I want out of life and i'm too scared to go out and find the answer myself.
I keep living my life in fear and doubt that i'll never get anywhere and achieve my goals but I just don't have the confidence in myself to actually go out and look for what I need and it just gets on my nerves. (link)
Volunteer Service. Even if you have low-self esteem, organizations don't really care so long as you get the job done. It will help you loosen up and who knows, maybe you'll meet people.


Hi so i am a 17 year old female and i am dating a male the same age. We have been dating for about 7 months now and we were both kind of scared to make the first move so the first time we kissed was prom night before we went out to eat. So it was graduation day and at our school juniors show up to support the seniors (the place they hold the ceremony is right by the school so everyone shows up to school and seniors ride over first and then juniors and then we come back blah blah blah)and there is a little ritual going on, anyways that day came and me and my boyfriend were both there and were in the same class and i was just sitting on the table and he was sitting in the chair across from me and at first that was all it was i was just sitting across from him then he kind of leaned in and grabbed my ass and pulled me in towards him so we were sitting closer and had kind of burrowed his head in my chest - i had on a low v-neck romper and a big fluffy jacket because i was cold - so he had his head on my chest and put his hand behind the jacket like out of peoples view and was rubbing my back and my ass , mind you we had just had our first kiss like a week ago, so anyways the teachers had left to take care of stuff and half of the class migrated out so it was just us and then some of my friends and some of his friends. So we were cuddling as we were before and i leaned in and kissed him and we kissed like a couple of times and i was happy because after 7 months i was ready and wanted to get things moving along like i am still a teenager. So we were cuddling and at some points kissing, but after i kissed him one of those times he started kissing my chest area, the area in between my breasts. now remember i had on a big fluffy jacket so he was somewhat hidden and i was getting turned on but we were still at school so i kinda backed up and we went back to playing a card game but i could clearly see he was turned on and so was i so we went to the classroom next door which was open and no one was in there and we started kissing and what not (which we adapted to pretty quickly surprisingly) so we were kissing and he was grabbing my butt and i had my hand on his head and of course the sexual tension was building but we were still at school so we both kind of broke off and it was time to leave for the graduation. by the time everything was over it was like 9:15 and we had gotten invited to a graduation party which i decided not to go to because there was going to be heavy drinking and i don't drink so me and my boyfriend decided to go to his house and watch a movie. so we got there and started off watching a movie but half way through it turned to me on top of him, he was kind of dry humping me, we were kissing and things were getting very heated, but then his older sister came home so we stopped and went upstairs and things started again but no clothes came off he was thrusting but it was never any penetration and he came just in his pants.. i don't really know what i am asking or how to ask it i don't know like what next, i want to wait to have penetrating sex until marriage but our relationship is getting pretty serious i have known him since 8th grade and we have had little crushes on eachother but this time it turned ready, i am open to oral sex. i dont know what i am really asking i guess what are some things we can do to relieve sexual tension between us, why do you think it was such a quick switch between us first kissing to like all of this, anything like that. he is supposed to come with my friends boyfriend over to my friends house who i am staying with this week and they're also in a similar place but they've been dating for like a year and aren't having sex but have done stuff, so there will be a lot of sexual tension, do you think it would be a good idea to even have them over if they do come over should we all stay together...ughhh i am so sorry this is messy and i don't completely know what i'm asking i am just confused and ready. (link)
If you're planning to do anything use protection. You don't want to be dealing with kids, as a kid, trying to figure out who is going to babysit for you while you try to go to college. Childcare can get expensive. Remember, you'll be a young mother and a young grandmother. Boys don't really care about this stuff, because they don't know what childbirth feels like.


Hello, I am 23 years old and I have a bachelor's degree in sociology and psychology. A few weeks ago, I had applied to three graduate schools for clinical mental health. I had gotten into two of them, I told the one that I would go to the other since it was financially best for me and when I went to accept the other's acceptance, I just couldn't do it. I started to panic reading about it and it's had me in such a frazzled state for days, keeping on thinking about it.

So, I'm thinking that this isn't my passion. I wanted to be a therapist but one would think once I finally got in and could get the ball rolling, I would be super excited but I've been so overwhelmed and scared and just so darn anxious that I don't think this is a good fit for me and aside from what I've already said, I'll give a few more reasons as to why I believe that to be true:
- I though that I would get in and get out in three years, that is what I had interpreted the professor saying during my interview but upon further reading, I had found out that I would be finishing my credits in three years, then I would be going on to start me practicum, then after that I would continue on to start my internship which would be another THREE years (plus more if I decide to work part time while doing it or I could be completely not working and complete the 3600 hours in three years)!! All of that, so far, is a minimum of 6 years, that does not include how many years it could take for me to pass the three part MPAC test
-the next thing I was thinking about is moving. My boyfriend and I had discussed that after we get married and before we have kids, we would like to live in another state for a little but say that I graduate in 7 years, I would need two years of working on my own license as experience before I apply to live in another state so that puts me at moving out of the state by the time I am maybe 32 years old, which not to mention, he discussed wanting to have children before we both reach 30, which I had no problem with since I thought I would be done with school by the time I am 28.
-the other thing that makes me nervous is that I graduate and get licensed, I get a job as a therapist and hate it, there aren't many other jobs that I could work with that type of master's degree so that is really kind of holding me back too.

Anyway, I just wanted to see if this seems logical or anything to anyone else here. I also wanted to get some input on what other type of jobs there are that I could look into. I think I'm going to defer my acceptance from this school so I can research a little more. I work as a paraprofessional with special needs children now and I love helping people, which is why I really thought therapy would be a good fit. I also am just the kind of person that likes to keep options open, which is why I didn't like the idea of not having many other jobs I could fall back on if I didn't like being a therapist or being stuck in one state because of being licensed. I want to get a good job that will help support me and my future family (and pay off all that student debt, ya know) but money isn't all that I'm about. I have looked into what sociologists and psychologists do, how much money masters degree social workers make and more jobs along that line. So, I'm just looking for advice on maybe a new masters degree to look into and what future jobs I could also look into with a new masters degree that kind of fit what I've described.

Thanks for any help! (link)
First of all, think about yourself and not your boyfriend (as selfish as that may sound). You've done so much to reach the point where you're at. If your boyfriend wants to have kids before 32 or whatever age he has tossed out there, that's his issue. As bleak as this may sound, your relationship status may change in the future. You just have to make sure that you can afford to support yourself. Think about a family when everything is settled and you're sure you can afford it. Everything is just hopeful thinking. You seem smart enough to make the right choice.


I am currently living with my parents to help them pay bills etc, since they are retired. I feel so guilty moving out as they will live a bit tight on money, but I feel like I need my own space. Right now i'm so emotionally drained, my family is dysfunctional and we have a brother dealing with drugs. My parents are trying to help him but he drains the whole family and i'm tired of being in this environment.

I found an apartment I liked a bit pricey but that is what rental places are in my neighborhood. But as the signing of the lease got closer I started to get frightening, my heart was pounding so hard and I felt so much anxiety.

I'm so confused if to move out or just stay here until i buy my own home, which is my goal. Or do i move out and rent temporarily this way i can have my own space and not be affected by my brothers addiction and feeling like my parents always need me. Help, i'm so confused and need to sign the lease asap before i loose this apartment.

Thank you

(link)
You do what is best for you. Your brother needs to get his thing sorted out and your parents should be able to help and support their kids in any way they need not the other way around.


I’m a 13 year old girl and recently I was lying on my bed with my best friend watching videos and I looked over at her and had a huge urge to kiss her. I’ve also had dreams and feel attracted to another girl. I also have an obsession over many male actors and have had crushes on boys. What does this mean? (link)
It means you're hormonal. It will pass (in a way) when you reach menopause.



I do take care of my hygiene. I regularly shower, put deodorant on and shave/wax hair.

I always sweat when I go out and I get sweat pads on my tshirt, crotch area, lots of sweat on my forehead and it's very embarrassing because people see it and feel disgusted and it makes me smell. I can't just run home and take a shower every time it happens. What can I do to at least reduce the amount I sweat?? Can a doctor treat this? (link)
Some people don't mind sweat. Don't worry too much about it. Just keep yourself active and healthy.


we have a window air conditioner that my mother uses in her room, but she closes her bedroom to make sure that none of the cool air escapes into the rest of the house. which does not have air conditioning, so she gets the air conditioning only in her room, forcing all three of our family members, plus three dogs, into one room. she claims the costs will explode if she uses this one air conditioner for the whole house. our house is about 1200 sq ft. and we cannot put it in the living room window due to the shape and size of the living room window.

my question is, is she right? will the costs go up? and if so, is there a way to cool down the rest of the house as well? We cannot afford to have our central air fixed (and it would probably need to be entirely replaced anyway), so is there a better way to cool down? We have fans all over the house, but it doesn't really do much on the days where it's 95 and humid. (link)
Frozen Popsicles. Pedestal fans. Outdoor Camping while you figure out how you're going to install new A/C units.


I and my bf had sex twice on 9th and 10th may. We had protected sex. On 9th. We were naked. And his penis was touching my vagina. He didnt come. But there was some precum. I felt it. Not directly in touch of my vagina but near it. And after i felt it. I drew myself back. Now he had peed before all of this happened. And i googled and founf that peeing removes any sperms present from previous ejaculation. I maintain a app for my periods. And my periods have been coming as predicted by the app from past 2 months. So acc to the app i was supposed to ovulate on 17th which makes 9th and 10th as safe days. But also during that time i had my exams and i was under huge stress because of a bad paper. Also on 7th june i had watery discharge. My periods were supposed to come on 31st may acc to the app. But till now theres no sign of it. I sometimes get the feeling of getting period but it doesn't come. Please help me. (link)
Take a pregnancy test. Or a few. Eliminates all doubt.




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