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Am I thinking too much into it or is he not interested anymore?
25/f
I feel like I am back in high school when I feel/think this way.
I had a crush on this guy four years ago. There was just something about him. Maybe I just thought he was cute? I'm not sure. I met him at a bar and he didn't remember me at all. Since he was in his partying phase and he told me he was drinking a lot back then. "Borderline alcoholic" is what he would tell me.
Speeding up to this year (no, he's not drinking as much anymore now): A month ago, I reached out to him to see how he was doing. And we started talking and it turns out there was an immediate spark between us. When we both saw each other, we acted neutral towards each other until a stranger tried hitting on me. So, because of that he told the stranger that I was his girlfriend and he kissed me. After that kiss, it's when it started. He told me he thought I was cute, he liked my personality, and he wanted to take me out on a proper date. I said "yes."
We spoke via text everyday, and he would continue to tell me he was looking forward to seeing me. He also mentioned he was going to be out of the country for a month. The day I saw him (Friday), we decided to skip dinner and to get drinks since neither of us was hungry. Again, later on that day, we kissed. He told me he was leaving at 2 AM the next day so he was going to pack. Before I left, he asked me if I wanted him to go with me. I said "no" and that I don't sleep with people on the first date. He understood and said it was a good thing. He kissed me again and told me that he liked me, was going to bring something back for me, and asked if it was okay if I saw a lot more of him when he got back from his trip. Again, I said "yes."
The next day, we didn't speak a lot. We spoke here and there. Then when it came to Sunday, I thought he was traveling but I noticed that he was online a lot but we didn't speak. I thought, "hey, maybe he has WiFi on the plane and he's just on it." I eventually messaged him a picture of my dog thinking he'd see it whenever he landed. And he immediately responded. Turns out he was in town for another day and he was just then going to the airport.
Two days after that, he didn't really speak to me at all (unless I said something first). I'm trying not to take it personal but he talks to his friends online, too. I'm reminding myself that he's on vacation and I'm probably not going to hear from him a lot. But I can't help but think if someone really did like me, he would at least say something here and there.
I've been trying to give him his space to do what he wants/needs to do. After all, he is on vacation. Am I thinking too much into this?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yes you are thinking too much about this. He is clearly not. Just move on. You might have different 'expectations'. You might be thinking a little more long term...he might be thinking a little more passive, one-night stand. Just take your dignity and call it a 'break even' or something. If he were truly interested then he would be all over you. Don't take it as an insult. He's just in that phase where he's a territorial macho that hasn't settled down.
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YOu did say he is on vacation. Some people are tied to their mobile phones by habit even on vacation and others aren't. You may not know which one he is. So let it rest. Don't worry and see what happens when he gets back.
When he is back, is he really is crazy about you, he is not going to want to be apart from you much, or at least talk. I met my second husband in on line dating. I had met many many guys and none of them hit me with their character like this one did. He didn't write at first because he thought I was too good to be true, I couldn't possibly meet the criteria of what he wanted and he wanted a mate also for the rest of his life, he and I were near 50.
So when he wrote me, I wrote back that same Saturday. Sunday he called me late, gave me his number to call and said he drove for Fed Ex so he might not call back til his break. We spoke and set a time to meet in person on his route which was in the area of my job. I met him before starting my shift. From that day on, we talked every evening for hours til our cell phones died on us. We finally had time to meet the following Sunday and after that, he already knew he wanted to be with me the rest of his life. What I am trying to say is that if a guy likes someone enough and his intentions are not just any old cute girl for a person to just do some social things or partying with or only for sex, but wanting that one special lady in his life to love the rest of his days, then he will waste no time talking to her and being around her and deciding as soon as possible to make a commit of sorts. OUr first commitment was moving in together a month after we met because he worked long days 10 hrs easy, sometimes more like getting home at 8 pm. That meant little time left for a girlfriend. A job situation can change in the future and his did so we had more time together but we talked a lot first, no fancy movie or dinner dates, just lots of talking to get to know each other, and we were finishing each others sentences already then. We were just so in sync that we knew we'd found the right person. Of course we are older. But guys at any age can be like this too.
What troubles me going only by your words is the story of going out the first time and some other guy hitting on you. I know plenty of people can get jealous if someone pays too much attention or hits on their companion. If already an established relationship for a while, thats understand able. However he felt the need to kiss you in front of this guy to prove that you were his girlfriend. YOur a girl, maybe a friend at that stage, but his girlfriend already on first time out? Hmm, I could be very wrong but he may have issues with low self confidence as a male and feel threatened by other males and feel he has to prove himself. Telling the other guy to leave you alone is one thing. Kissing you in front of the guy is another, like showing off, like look at me, I am the Alpha Male here.
But give him a really good chance to prove himself to be good boyfriend material or not.
And for the future, to determine whether he really loves you or not, (cus if he doesn't, he has no business still hanging out with you)
Read through the following questions (so save them for later) and then you will know. ITs mostly compiled by a man for women to help them understand men and know whether a man loves them or not. I find all these to be very true but added some of my own examples to make it even more clear.
Here it is:
7 Questions to know if he really loves you
1. Does he say I love you. For some, it's a hard thing to say but they show it to you in other ways. When he says I love you, he is viewing that as a commitment to you. It is not a flippant phrase.
Saying I love you too early like during first couple dates is a warning about the guy. Its a very good chance he is needy and wanting a woman to be his mom. Other phrases from a guy count too, like you're awesome, I adore you. You're the woman I always dreamed of.
2. Does he make you a priority in his life? Guys have more than one priority...things very important to him but you should be one of top 3.
What he does for you or how he acts can't be faked easily because it's hard to lie with your body. Things he does without having to be asked, making dinner, picking up something for a collection you have, making time for you, even if it's a walk or a long phone chat. If the guy likes you, he'll make time for you at least a quarter of the time.
3 Does he tell friends about you and like to show you off? Have you been introduced to his family and friends? If he keeps you separate, he's hiding something or ashamed or fearful of something
4. Does he care about your pleasure during sex? Is he only into seeking his own pleasure or your's too. Does he open his eyes and want to have both your eyes connect while making love?
5. Does he respect and encourage you? Respect means, does he value your opinion, do you share decisions and treats you as a partner. Are you encouraged by him to have your own friends and hobbies outside the relationship and encourage you to seek your dreams and uphold you in that.
Jealousy is not love, it's control. It's okay to be protective, but jealousy shouldn't be what prompts the protectiveness
6. Do your friends and family like how he treats you? Others make a great gauge for judging a guys character.
7. Does he look at you with lust and passion in his eyes, with a hunger and thirst for you? Does he give you admiring looks, does he still want to sneak peeks down your shirt. What he sees is Very important since guys are visually stimulated. If he isn't looking anymore, he has lost his interest. All men because of this natural trait, will also view other women but do so discreetly, without being an ass about it. Don't expect a man to look at only you. If he doesn't look at other women at all, it may be a sign that he is gay. You do want a man who is visually stimulated by women.
How many points are true for you with your guy?
7 true He treats you as a Queen and he is an exceptional man
5-6 true He loves you. Just don't focus on what is lacking.
3-4 true He loves you enough to make the relationship work for him. If it's enough for you, then be content. If you feel like you're settling for less, let him go and look for something better.
1-2 true He's a douche-bag, a user or controller. Leave immediately.
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