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ok so basically i am arab female. some of the stereotypes of not being as "liberated" as the women of the west do apply to this question and my circumstances:
well i am not supposed to have a boyfriend ...etc. its in my culture. and i never did! and i am totally fine with that.....but i lied...... i told my new "friends" when i moved towns that i did just to fit in and not seem like a weirdo (since i moved countries) .... it made me look wiser and more experienced... and well... liked.....thing is i regret lying about that and i don't know what to do.
if i tell my friends they'll be in shock coz they trusted me. i'll look like a stupid fraud (i know i know... who cares what people say).... and if i didn't somehow i know it'll get to my mother and father. if i tell them first no education -period- for me.
aside from those lies i hung out with a crowd that in my home country would be considered bad and unacceptable... oh and it included guys....now if i dealt with them in a different way i could have still saved the friendship... but since i kind of ignored the "rules" and bent them a bit ... well i sorta regret the image i created for myself... if my mom and dad find out i am gunna look like (in their eyes) a slut who accepts anything, a lier, irresponsible, careless, stupid, and not raised well..... a disappointment....
before anything though, i must say that really i feel guilty SOOO much that i am planning on leaving my life long dream in a philosophy major (since that is where that bad influence according to mom and dad is coming from) and am willing to reconstruct my image.... it hurts so much to leave the major but i guess i deserve this.... i should have seen it coming....
the problem is my brother and sisters know about this (i don't know how much they know or how...) and they don't believe a word i say anymore because of all the lies (i brought this onto my self i deserve this ) so my brother is sacrificing a great chance in building his career to come and live with me and sister so that to ensure i don't cause myself a destruction of my future and get us all sent back without a n edu (i feel like crap)....
my question: how can i keep my friends but restore all the limits and values i had eliminated, one? and prevent them from saying anything (they won't intentionally... but thinking as it is normal to them its normal to mention me and stuff and i am afraid within the community it;ll get to my family...) and two how can i prove myself to my family and fix what i can from the damage.... i really screwed up. and pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee don't tell me talk to my mum and dad it will not work,wher i come from talking to higher figures of authority is not conceivable..... and with my sibs they totally understand what i have to say but again its not enough to show them that i understand what i did..... i really want things to go back to normal... how do i get things back!!
i am doomed right??? :S :S :S :S :S :S (link)
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haha,You arent doomed.
Im muslim and also i hate taht whole liberated thing but what can we do,People have their opinion on things and realy dont care what "we" think us being the ones who are supposedly "not liberated" i think we should be able to say if we are or arnet.. but on to the important issues. Ok as an arab i completely understand your parents not understanding and i know talking doesnt work,ive seen so much things like this and there was a point where I myself was also the "Disappoinment" But this is how your gona save yourself.
First of all.Go to your friends and explain this to them.Say you had somethin on your mind that you cant get out of your head.And that you cannot stand lieing to them.Say "Look i never had any boyfriend,I said taht cuz im new and i kind of didnt kno what exctly to say i thought if i said i did you guys wud accpet me more,But i noticed you guys wouldnt accept me do to if i had a boyfriend or not because friendships arent based on the past relationships one had, But its all about the personality,Im realy sorry for lieng to you guys but i assure you this is like seriously the last time to lie cause i cudnt even stand lieing now! i was dieing inside and i had to let it out!"
Your parents.its easy change.Pray more,read quran you need to talk alot about feeling this change in you,and realy feel the change if you want to change you need to Ask God for the change,SO you need to say that your feeling this change randomly suggest doin these arab things,Get closer to your mom.Say that you just want to talk.DO NOt keep things from her.Or atleast let her think you dont.Once in awhile tell her a secret.Shell feel like the special parent and youl have atleast a backbone from the parent side.And dads are way over protective so you need to be able to make him trust you more.STop bending the rules for now atleast and show that you grown up.If you realy do feel guilty then you will do anything to make this better.
Your family will see this change in time but on another note.Donot let yuor brother reuin his dreams thats not good,Just because of a mistake you did PEOPLE NEEED to make mistakes your human and if they dont understand that and wont listen then your gona need to scream it out THAT PEOPLE HAVE TO MAKE MISTAKES TO LEARN! AND YOU LEARNED!!...You can take care of yourself if your able to beg for help then youll be able to take the advice givin.
Just please tell me how it goes ok.
Take care!!
Bye
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i need help,
i cant get over him. i know im only 13 & most relationships dont last at age 13, but theres something about him. hes not extremly hot or anything, but his personality is perfect. He can make me laugh for hours, and when i talk to him, i cant help but smile. But he's in a relationship. god, i dont want to start drama and please dont tell me to just drop it, but they are both 13 too, do you think it will last? i mean, idk. hes sorta shy with like making a move on a girl, like last year i held hands with him, but this year his gf & him are pretty close...well all they do is hug. but shes like i want to kiss him, and i know this is so mean & selfish, but them kissing will just bring them closer together....but i sorta think he has a thing for me. idk why, i can just tell....
help me :] (link)
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Awww.
Look hun this must be realy hard on you but for a minute Think of if you were the girlfriend.
I mean lets say they do breakup,And you make a move on him and it does work out,but theres a girl that is trying to move up on him like you want to rite now.I know the feeling,Its horrible if the girl was playing him,or was messing around with other guys,Id tell you to go for it and that he desevers better.But if their fine and happy let them be.Let him be happy with her,Dont reuin the relationship because of how you feel no matter how much it hurts if you realy like him sacrafice it for his happines..Dont worry there is better to come to you,Maybe he isnt the right person and im sure you dont want to hear that but you should wait on for someone who runs to you,Not you to them.
Take care hun.
Bye
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15/f (sixteen in a week)
When taking personality tests or being asked questions, I am usually so balanced in my answers that it's hard to choose.
Example:
Q: Do you rely on improvisation or careful planning more?
I do both, in nearly every situation. I focus on details and the big picture, etc.
I love wearing high heels and being a blonde/black haired hot girly girl. And a quiet straight A, dedicated and responsible student. But I love going out with guys and playing in the mud catching frogs and snakes.
How do I figure out who I am? Nothing describes me. I try to excell at everything I do and I am a perfectionist sometimes.
How do I learn to describe myself? Am I just 'everything' and 'nothing' at the same time?
Wow I'm so confused, help is greatly appreciated, thanks! =) (link)
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Oh wow,You are jus like me,dont worry you are jus more openminded then most,you like to try new things and you do not have one opinion on anything,You have expreince in life and understanding in life not much people have you see things more efficent then others and that is something you should be happy with..You are your own person,your muli tasked and you are very open minded that is what you are..you wil only know who you are you shouldnt ask others to find that out for you sweety..best of luck
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alright, well i'm almost 16 years old and i have never done anything with a guy. i've never had a boyfriend and i just kind of feel out of place. people in my school are really... "physical" and i think that they are crazy for half of the things they do. i guess my question is how far do people really go at my age? is it weird that i haven't done anything? i mean its not that i don't want to, but i was just wondering. (link)
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Hey,
Im almost 16 and i havent done anythin either..Ive found someone i loved and i stil havent done anything with him even though were both very mature and knew eachother for 2 years we havent because i respect myself to much and im more mature then most people my age because i grew up to fast i was put in the real world..Kids at the age of 11 now..Are doin sexual acts..Its lutacris But all you can do is pray that they dont get Aids by the age of 15 Be greatful that you arent like them be happy God gave you common scense You can instead of feeling left out look upon yourself as the wise one..People that way will see you diffrently..More better and less on them selves they will wana be like you..
Stay clean
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I have a distinct picture of what i want my future to look like (i want to be married to the great guy, with great kids, and live in a beautful house, and be the ultimate soccer mom (president of the PTA...on several charity boards etc.)
I'm really worried that i wont get this life, i dont want to sound like a snob...but if i end up living ni a asmall shack, with no husband and no kids, i'll be reallly sad.)
Does anyone ever really get the exact life they want? (link)
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"You can be/have anything that you put your mind in"....if you wish to have the greatest husband,the greatest kids,the greatest wutever you want then you can get it without a hassel...just a very important advice,,dnt rush,...take your time to find tht specail guy,,and if you guys cant live in a great house at first,work together to get that house of your dreams. you can do or get wutever you want as long as you put ur mind to it...trust me i been in your place before and now,im very happy with eveything,,thanks god..anwyas put your mind to it and work hard to get your dreams fulfilled
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hey my sister is 12 years old a lil bit overwieght she got most of her signs of her "p" but shes a lil bit scared about it i need advice to calm her down she gets a lil nervouse when she hears ppl saying some girls dont get it so i need advice to calm her down thanks!! answer quick plz byeeee (link)
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hey there,
Your sister needs to calm down shes only 12 years old!! Its VERY rare for a 12 yearold to get her period now..and also some people dont get it because of blood line or if its passed down by family members if all your family members get it at the right age then i am 100% sure your sister will get it also..Tell her thatt and not to worry shes to young to care let her live her age..Much love xoxoxox
Good luck tell me how it goes =]
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