Well Im 20, and I'd like to think ive had more than enough life experiance to give pretty good advice, at least on things that i have had similar experiences with. But feel free to ask me anything, im cirrently deployed until october, so ill have all fo the time im the world to answer anything you want to know! Ill even answer personal questions!@
Gender: Male
Occupation: World Traveller (sort of)
Age: 20
AIM: FirstShambler
Member Since: June 5, 2009
Answers: 5
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 1959
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15/f
this is a VERY long story, but im gonna try to lay this out as short as possible and please, im desperate here, you have NO clue what i've been through these past few months, and i need all the help i can get..
last year i met a REALLY sensative guy. he was 16, about to be 17, and i was 14.. he was soooo shy, hes VERY insecure. when we first started dating, all he said to me was how i saved him and pulled him out of his misery because he has had no luck with relationships and was treated like shit by girls his whole life. hes not even that cute and popular, and i have a waaay higher social status in my grade/ school then he does in his grade.. but ive been known to have wierd taste and i can look beyond looks and things like that very easily. i think when we first started dating him i was just excited over the fact that he had a car and he was a junior and i was only a freshmen.. but i actually did end up falling in love with him. and he was COMPLETELY in love with me. we lost our virginities to eachother and ill tell you, im smart, and not at all a bit naiive.. i knew this kid loved me. & we did NOT have a sex based relationship whatsoever.. we became eachothers best friends. both of us lost all of our other friends because we were only with eachother 24-7. he called my mom 'mom' and i did the same with his mom.. we were incredibly close.. and sense he was older, i felt so comftorbal and secure with him, and i went to him with all my problems, and he would help me.. ive been suffering from depression for years and me and my mother never had a good relationship, and my father left me, and i was molested as a baby.. but when i was with him, he made me feel so comftorbal. we told eachother EVERYTHING. and i was postive he was there to stay. he promised me forever every single day. we dated for a year. i messed it up, biggest mistake of my entire life.. he started getting very annoying and up my ass. you know when youre in a bad mood and you just want to be left alone? well he would never leave me alone. he'd be like 'its okay babe i love you' bla bla. all mushy, when i just want to be mad!. i tried talking to him about this many times and all he could say was im sorry i just love you soooo much i cant help it.. all my friends called him whipped cream and everything.. it was BAD. but anyways, one night i was out with my friends the day before a cheer competition, and my ex was there.. and somewhere along the lines, we kissed.. my boyfriends friend was there and told him that if i didnt tell him, he was going to.. i knew he wasnt going to break up with me or anything.. so i told him.. but the thing is.. i think i was looking for a fight with him because our relationship was so boring. when i told him, it pissed me off how he was crying instead of being mad, yelling at me. so i started saying things to make him mad.. i said TERRIBLE things. like i was gonna keep cheating on him because he basically lets me, and how i know i take advantage of him because he trusts me so much but i shouldnt.. and he was like well maybe i have to break up with you then.. and he was like i really dont want to. and i was like fine just do it idont care! yelling at him and stuff.. and then he did. i was thinking we would get back together in a couple weeks.. so after we broke up, we still talked because we obv. still loved eachother and everything. we acted like we were going out, and we even 'hooked up' a few times.. but when he asked me back out, i kept saying no, i wasnt ready.. because the relationship was SOOO akward after we broke up.. he was acting so different. and i knew why. it was because i broke his heart. and i did, bad. so one day after we hooked up, my friend told me that her brother saw my 'boyfriend, x-boyfriend, whatever u wanna call him' at a store.. and he was saying how he was done with me and he was trying to get with this new girl 'leesh'.. i was FURIOUS. i called him up screaming at him asking for all my stuff back and it was over for good and everything. but really, i wanted an appology from him, not my stuff back. btw, i was very remorsful for cheating on him and saying what i said to him, i mustve appologized a million times.. but he didnt say anything, he justgave me all my stuff back and acted like it was nothing.. and then i kept trying to get him back, but he kept rejecting me. i was litterally down on my knees for this kid. until one day i found out he had a girlfriend. not just some girl.. the girl who dates ALL the boys that i date after me.. but thats a whole nother story.. anyways, i was devistated. i couldnt eat, i couldnt talk, i couldnt sleep, i couldnt go to school,, nothing. all i did was cry and cry and cry and cry. i tried talking to him seeing if we could be friends and stuff, but he hates me now. if i send him one text, he shuts his phone off. he goes all different ways in the halls so i dont have to see him in school, he wont even look my way. he saw me practically drown in my own tears and he didnt even care. i wrote him long long letters, i tried everything i could just to be able to talk to him when i need to, so i wouldnt be so hurt about the situation.. now, i have two weeks left of school and im failing 4 classes.. and im an honors student. i DONT fail. its not me. and im grounded because of it, so i cant even go out and try to forget it. its been sense thhe end of february... and still,all i can think about is killing myself.. people say they are heart broken.. but this gives heart broken a new definition. there is litterally a hole in my chest. and i keep getting maaaassive anxiety attacks in class, and i do go to counceling wich is sort of helpful but we mostly talk about my parents.. three days ago, she broke up with him. and he was very upset from what i heard.. he hasnt tried talking to me or anything but i dont know what to do, i want to talk to him but he'll just ignore me.. i love this kid and care about him with my life. today i thought i was going to DIE. it was the last day of school for the seniors. the last time ill EVER see him again. the last time ill ever get to look for him i the halls so i can walk by him.. that was the only time i ever got to see him, and today was my last day. and when i walked by him for the very last time of my life today, he didnt even look at me. it was so painful. he couldnt even have the heart to say bye to me considering im his first love and helll never see me again. i havent been able to stop crying sense i last saw him. i dont even know what to do with my life any more. someone PLEEEEEASE tell me what to do to get him back. ANNYTHING. I AM DESPERATE FOR HELP. we had such a good relationship till i cheated and we Never ever had one fight. but you dont even understand. this kid wouldnt even look at any other girls, deleted all the girls in his phone book, couldnt go an hour without texting me just saying he loved me, couldnt go a day withouth seeing me, brought me flowers randomly, did EVERYTHING for me. how can you love someone so much and go through everything we've been through together, and then just completely shut them out of your life? (link)
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OK. This is your total fuckup, you broke his herat, tore it to shreds, and cheated on him, and expect him to take yuoou back, you were lucky that he talked to you at all. Move on. teres no chance that hell take you back unless hes a total dumbass, it seems that you basically walked all ver him, so hes better off with someone whos not controling, it sounds like he was great to you, so its your fault that you cant have him back, its over.
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So i know the only safe sex is no sex. but me and my boyfriend have been dating and it's pretty serious. we both really want to do it, but i'm so paranoid about getting pregnant! even with a condom! any advice? I'm 15, i'm not ready to be a mom haha. (link)
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Clearly the people who have answered this question before are feminist weirdos who want nothing more then to remain perpetual virgins.
If you feel you are ready, than take that step, just make sure you educate yourself first, make him waer a ciondom, as long as it doesnt break, you should be fine, birth control id also an option, but at your age, i doubt that your parents would spring for it. Be aware that it will moere than likemy hurt a bit your first time, but that is normal. Just be sure4 that you and he are ready to priogress to that next step in the relationship. Dont listed to that "no sex before 21 bullshit" these people have had bad experiances and there situatuion is different from yours. just protect yourself.
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Okay, So I'm 15 years old,a girl. Sophomore soon to be Junior this fall. I met this guy in theatre awhile ago. We'll call him A. He's 20 years old now. I have liked him for so long and I've had a feeling he liked me too. So one night he came over for dinner and my parents really like him. He also asked me to the movies before then, but my dad was not going for it. So we talk on the phone occasionally text alot. Then the other night we kind of told eachother how we felt. He actually likes me too. We just know this age thing isn't going to workout. Also, he's transferring to another college in the state in late August. So I was wondering what I should do. I mean the next day after we talked. We hung out. We kissed. Alot. So I'm just wondering how I should go about this. I've never fell for a guy this hard. This sweet and such. I just don't want to be more hurt when he leaves then I would have if nothing happened at all.[BTW he's not like a pedaphile or anything. I know he's old and all but nothing like that.]
Thanks for any help you can give me. (link)
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Age is aonly a number, but you have to keep in mind that its relative, the older youget the less age matters, those of us who have parents that are 8 years apart need to keep in mind taht they more than likelty met when they were older, my parents for example are 9 years apart and they met when they were well into their 20s and 30s respectively. If you like the guy andf he likes you tahts great, but if hes 20 it relfects how immature he really is in wanting to date a 15 year ols (no offense) that would be like me (20) dating my sisters friends (15). You aND HE live in different worlds, 9in a year or less he will be drinking, doubling the illegality of your relationship, sex will still be illegal, and odds are you parents will not look at the whole think to kindly. He will more than likely always want you to stay out late and stuff, wnd while HE may not get in trouble for it, you still are a minor living with your parents, so they still have a great deal of power over you, and if they have a reason not to like him, they could have him arrested easily.
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I'm meeting this boy and he's having to move away because he is going to play footbool in a different part of the country which will lead to him going professional.
But the problem is that we both want to get with each other, but have no ideas on how we would make this work.
He would be away all week living in somebodys house and would get back of a saturday and would have to see his Family, his Friends and then Me.
We both really want to make this work, but we need some ideas on how. We have known each other since we were 11 and we are both now 17 and 18 but have grown alot closer aas we have gotten older.
Please help!! Any Ideas on how we could make this relationship work would be greatly appreciated!!
Thanks (link)
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There are many ways that you can make it work, i myself am currently ina long diatance relationship, and am actually ina worse situaltion that you, as im currently deployed. the key is to maintain contact and trust, send letters pictures, emails. somtyhing that lets both him and you that you still care and you arent drifting apart.( i say letters because it tales alot more thought to write and mail a latter than to send an email) call him a few times a wekk, or as aften as his schedule allows, dont make it ALL about you, trust me, even in you are 5000 mikles away you CAN come across as clingy. If you both have laptops, buy dual webcams and video chat, this cal also promote intamacy VIA the internet or the phone, which granted isnt as good as the real thing, but for a long distance rlationship, its moe than enough. Just remember: just because he dpesnt answer the phone fdoesnt necessarily mean hes with another girl, this kind of paranoia is more normal than most people think. since he is a football player, he WILL be tired ofted, and may not want to ttalk all the time, this is not a reflection of ebbing feelings for you, it it what it is; fatigue. However, at the very least you can tell him that you love him call him at least just to say taht, that goes fopr him too, even if its a 3 minute phonecall to say so. I hope this helps.
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How do you say or imply to a guy you like that you wish he’d give you a chance without seeming desperate, making things more awkward, or pushing him away that much more? I had told the guy that I like him a while ago (long story) and we were friends before that so things were awkward when I told him but we’re still friends, it’s just not the same though. We barely talked about it and he never really gave me a clear response and although I know I should assume that he doesn’t see me that way, I still hate that nothing was made clear to me. Two of our friends (both who are girls, just saying) have tried to gauge a reaction from him about it on their own but they couldn’t really get anything out of him. He’s hard to read and he’s not one to talk about how he feels, as most guys are. I’m planning to talk to him and just sort of clear the air about this because I’m sick of bottling a lot of things up (because I’m a very open person, but with him I’ve been scared to talk to him about it but now I just want to talk about it because this “elephant in the room” has to be talked about in some form, it was ridiculously hard for me to tell him and I’m not going to let this be disregarded and forgotten and continue to let things be awkward). When I am talking to him and trying to clear the air, I still want to incorporate somehow that I wish he’d give me a chance, like a last glimmer of hope, because I’m not totally sure what I’m planning to say will allow him to pick up on that. My main goal of talking to him is clearing the air and just finally saying what I’ve been wanting to say, but I still really like him and still want to include that I want him to give me a chance, I just don’t know how to be subtle about it, or if I should even mention it at all. help! (link)
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You really aerent alone on this, guys have this problem too, more often thatn girls think, most gorls think that wheni guy brushes them off, there not interested, without realizing that we go throught the same internal struggles regardi9ng this issue too. As far as your siruation is concerned, the time for subtlty is over, you need to make you feelings known, dont make it awkward, you and him need to have a talk about it, take him aside, or hell surprise hium and kiss him, for all you know he could be having the same thougfhes and feelings that you are having, but like alot of guys, is afraid to act on them based on the outcome.
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