Member Since: January 18, 2016
Answers: 5
Last Update: January 18, 2016
Visitors: 1100
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Okay I'm turning 18 this year and enough is enough I'm tired of feeling unattractive and I'm tired of being unattractive. I know most teen girls go through this but I can't help it. My whole life nobody has really called me pretty and if they did it was to be nice or its because they called someone beside me pretty. In 6th grade when I started developing crushes on guys this one guy that I liked actually liked me back, he was gonna ask me out but then this girl that liked him was like "eww you chose her over me? She's so ugly" mind you that girl was my friend. After that he never asked me out and blocked me on Facebook lol. My eyebrows not that they're bushy they're just uneven, that same year in grade 6 this guy told me his brother said I looked like a man so I assumed it was my eyebrows so in the 8th grade I started getting my eyebrows done. At high school orientation I was hanging with my friends and this one group was looking for girls to hook up with and they point at me and they were like "her? No way that's gross". That kind of bummed me out, high school didn't even start yet and they don't know me and they judged me by my appearance. High school comes along and my friend starts wearing makeup, I didn't care for it as much but she did, I'm not even exaggerating but by the third day of school she was approached by a guy he called her beautiful and wanted to get to know her, then a couple days later she became popular known as one of the prettiest girls in the school. She dated this one guy and I would always third wheel it wasn't until the fourth month they were dating that he finally asked me what my name was smh. I also remember in grade 9 being in her shadows while guys would acknowledge her they wouldn't acknowledge me unless I had candy or food. I also remember there were these seniors that said they were gonna go up to ugly girls and call them pretty, 3rd period comes along and as I was walking in the hallways those same guys came up to me and were like "look at this one" then one guy of the group came up to me and was like "I think you're so beautiful" I got mad because I overheard their little plan so I told them that I saw them tell that to 10 other girls and then they called me ugly and ratchet. Nothing really happened in grade 10, except in class when these guys were joking about dating me and all yelled eww. but in grade 11 second semester this guy who I thought was cool called me ugly right behind my back While I was talking and then he looked at me and laughed at his friends and said "she's so ugly" mind you this is a guy that says what Evers on his mind. That really killed my self-esteem cause he's popular and you know when popular people say stuff others follow. Also a girl in his group whom I've never talked to called me a bitch and said my hair looked bad right behind me too. Now it's grade 12 I thought I could fly by I don't have time to look good and now I finally wanna start doing make up I just don't know how and YouTube doesn't help when you don't have the products to follow. Today at school this guy with a girlfriend came up to me as a joke and called me cute. I walked passed him cause I knew he was joking, as I walked by him and his group of friends I heard him say I called this ugly girl pretty and she just blew me off she should be happy someone said that too her. This is why I'm writing this enough is enough and I'm tired of going to school with all these judgemental superficial people. In not perfect either I'm judgemental too but I don't base my friends off of how they look. I wish I just looked attractive or decent not for them but for myself because even this past summer when I went to summer school these group of guys were looking for girls to hookup or potentially date (typical teenager boys in my city) when I walked by this one guy was like "haha Jason it's your girlfriend" they all had disgusted looks on their faces and Jason said don't even joke like that again. Also a group of girls were judging my hair. Before you say oh you should change your hairstyle it's not that easy in my family and I'm not even gonna explain why. Anyways some background information on me is that I'm 17 year old african Canadian girl. My school is multicultural so everyone is from a different race majority of the people that judged me in this whole paragraph were people from my race but they're Jamaican. Except for the group of people from the high school orientation they were Caucasian, Jamaican, Indian etc. There's many interracial couples in my school, so I generally think I'm unattractive to everybody, nobody has had a crush on me since grade 6. (link)
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First off, high school kids can be cruel and very immature add to that there are also superficial. Pay them no mind. I know exactly how you feel. But you gotta be strong. Work on you. Start from inside and then out. Think of all the things that are great about you. You obviously are very smart. Not good with makeup either but am great with fashion. You gotta show Them that you love yourself and accept yourself. Laugh when they make jokes about you.
Regarding looking more attractive. Dress in clothes that show your best features. If you got great legs wear skirt, great arms wear tank tops and etc. Wear an hairstyle that fits your face. Go to a professional and get those brows fixed, even if it is a barbershop. Be confident! That's the key and show off your great personality. Be friends with people who are nice and avoid negative people!
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So, I've talked myself into a rut and now I can't get myself out. I'm 21 and female and presently in a funk. See, my boyfriend, of eight months, left on a three week long excursion with his best friend out to California. It's something they've always talked about doing so I'm happy for him and I can't wait until he comes back and shows me all of his photos and tells me all of the stories of the memories he made.
Today was the first day he and I talked on the phone since he left a little more than a week ago because something happened with his phone and last night, he finally got a new one. Today's conversation was great and he told me how it was finally nice to hear my voice because he missed me. But he made no mention of missing home or even being excited to come home. I told him I'm counting down the days until he flies back in and we can hang out again and he asked me how many days were left because he isn't even keeping track. I know he's having fun and everything but it just doesn't really seem like he's missing me as much as I am him and that kind of stings.
He also told me today that him and his best friend made a pact this week to see every national state park but left no mention of his best friend's girlfriend or I being able to tag along on their next adventures (even though before he left for this one, he told me that any other trip of this magnitude, I am invited on) but it didn't really seem that he wanted me to at all. I know, you're probably thinking that this isn't even set in stone, they're just talking about it like they've talked about this trip for years but have no fear, he was so hype on "yeah, we already googled where the next one is going to be and when my vacation days get replenished" and that Alaska supposedly has six so him and his best friend have to go to Alaska and see the Northern Lights - which was a little slap in the face because he knows that's been a dream of mine since I was little.
So then it got me thinking that since he and I started dating, when I made plans with my friends, I always asked him to go with. Like, there's a big music festival that my friends and I go to every summer and I asked him if he would want to tag along this year and he said yes, I didn't have to ask but I did because I love him and I want him and my best friends to be there, enjoying all of my favorite bands with me. I even paid for us to see The Blue Man Group for his birthday because he said he's always wanted to see them and for us to see Mumford and Sons because they're my favorite and he was the first person I thought of to go to those shows with me. Or like when I have to make road trips to visit my family in other states, I always ask him to go along because my family loves him and he always tags along. He was even invited by my parents to go with us on the trip we are taking to celebrate my college graduation. One night, I wanted girls night out so when he texted me to hang out, I told him I had other plans with my girlfriends and he invited himself, even though I told him numerous times to go to another bar that I knew for a fact his best friend was already at, he said no and don't you know it, he went to girls night. I just think it's weird that I always ask him to do things with me and always take him on the adventures I go on but he never really asks me to do anything huge with him.
It makes me think that I love him so much and he only returns maybe half of it. Sure he'll ask me to go to parties or to his friend's house around town but now he's across the country, continuing to plan more trips, and I'm stuck here attending my college classes and going to work. The only "vacation" we've really gone on in eight months, that he personally planned, where we spend the night somewhere was at a beach, with about four other friends. Yet, the ones I planned were to Jersey to see a band we both like, to Maryland for a family party, at a casino for my 21st birthday. His entire family lives in Romania, his mother and himself are the only two people that live in the states, his mom has made mention numerous times that his grandmother wanted to meet me and that she would fly us out for a visit but my boyfriend never even talked to me about it.
It just makes me feel that I'm not good enough for him and that his heart isn't in it the way mine is. I thought after this three week trip would be over, he would be fine staying here and being with me but it seems he's got wanderlust and he doesn't want to stay confined here and that I'm holding him back since he's already planning his next getaway and with the intention of leaving me here again.
I just don't know what to do. I know there really isn't a question in here. I just need advice, I guess. I'm starting to doubt everything about the two of us and where Im mentally at, it isn't a fun place to be. (link)
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The phone thing is kinda suspicious. Couldn't he call you on his friend's phone? He obviously is a free spirited Guy and men like that hate confinement. The thing is you need to fill up your time, do things you love. Plan a trip with your female friends. Have a life of your own. I know he is your boyfriend and you love him, but he will appreciate your independence. Why should he go out having all the fun while you torture yourself obsessing over what he is doing.
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22/f, 29/m
I just recently got out of a relationship. He was the one who broke up with me. The thing about this, is that it's confusing about what he wants. He tells me that he loves me and that he cares about me. He keeps talking about the "future" when we don't have a future.
But the one thing that bothers me a lot, is that he has removed any trace of me on his Facebook. All the posts that he tagged me in--removed. He hid the photos that I took of him, too. It shouldn't bother me, but it really does. It hurts.
The one thing I don't understand is that he removed any trace that I ever existed in public, but I'm still his background photo on his phone, etc. But yet, he kept up the photos that his ex-girlfriend (the one before me) posted of him. What is even worse is that I took a lot more photos than she did, and yet he put in the effort to remove everything that even related to me, but not hers.
I know that if I confronted him, he would end up saying one of the two things:
1) "Well, we did break up"--Which doesn't make sense because him and his other ex-girlfriend broke up but still kept photos of her.
2) "I didn't look very good in the photos you took."--There were more than 200 photos that I took, not all of them could've been completely terrible. Plus, the photos of him that his ex took, didn't look that great, either.
So, I'm confused. I'm not sure what the think or what to say or do. I'm trying to "let it go" because it's just social media, but I can't help but keep thinking, "why did he put in so much effort just to do all of that?" My sister came down to 3 conclusions.
1) He's keeping me on the side until he finds someone better.
2) He was embarrassed of me and still is, that's why he removed any sign that I existed
3) This is an extremely harsh way of him wanting me to move on.
But even if it was the 1st or 2nd reason, they're both really harsh ways of telling me that he really wants me to move on if he's willing to keep his ex's photos up.
Is there another reason why he might've removed every trace of me (in public)? Should I just completely let this go even if I kind of want answers? (link)
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Men are logical and practical. He removed them because you guys broke up, it's that simple. Also he can be interested in another girl and don't want her to see the pics. The truth is also the girl picture he still has up may be the one he wants to get involve with again. It's harsh but it's life, move on and do things that make you happy. Take awesome pictures and put them on your profile.. it's not healthy to watch his profile either. It's only gonna hurt you. Get out there and meet other people and sometimes it best not to broadcast your relationship on social media.
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Alright, so this is something I have been dealing with internally for a couple weeks now. But I suppose the advice i'm looking for requires a bit of set-up.
Right now, I am in college and recently entered my first relationship. Recently as in "this past week" to clarify. We live about 2 hours from each other but we live and attend at the same college when the term/semester is ongoing. We met the second-to-last week of the semester and we hit it off. It came to a surprise to me because it was unexpected and unintentional, as things escalated in only a few days.
However, there is another girl. We aren't dating, we are just good friends. I think it's clear to both of us that while we are good friends, we also have a strong interest in each other that hasn't been said...because the distance between us is two timezones apart. We've known each other for a few years and the past year we have getting to know each other more intimately without entering a romantic relationship.
I've realized that while i'm dating this girl close to me, who is very interested in me, I am more interested in the girl far away. I know distance-wise it's smarter to deal with it and focus on the girl right by me...but I can't help feeling like i'm being half-hearted in this new relationship. The other girl is important to me whether or not we ever date.
I just don't know how I should handle these feelings. Any thoughts?
(link)
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OK first off, never be in relationship and have someone else in your heart. It is not fair to you or the other person. You will be miserable. I suggest since the relationship is new, break it off. You obviously love the girl that's far away. Try to talk things out with her and see if you both can handle a long distance relationship or if one of you is willing to relocate.
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Right 3 days ago at my last day at work I was asked for my cellphone number and we had been (from what I can take from it) flirting. I said yes and wrote it down for him. But he has not texted? Is he not interested? Or am I overreacting? By the way I am 16 and a girl, the only reason I could think he wouldn't contact me is because of my age ( he is older but not by too much). What do you think? (link)
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OK first off, you are kinda young to be worried about things like this. But not here to judge you, just being honest. He has other things going on basically and men flirt sometimes just to prove to themselves that they can win you over. If he was really interested, he would have called. You are young and beautiful, so full of life. Concentrate on being all you can be so you can attract a wonderful man.
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