Hey, I'm Cara. I'll do my best to give advice to jsut about anyone. Pretty good school and street smarts so I can help with a wide variety of problems. Feel free to ask me a question any time. I'm totally a people person and I love to give advice about anything! I am extremely open minded and I don't judge anybody. Hope to hear from you soon! :)
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 15
Member Since: June 19, 2006
Answers: 145
Last Update: August 2, 2010
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14/F
Hey.
One of my best friends has just started smoking pot and it's been freaking me out. She doesn't do it on a regular basis yet, but she hangs out with kids who are full-fledged potheads.
We've been friends for a really long time and I care about her a lot...I don't want her to do anything stupid. I don't harbor any delusions about the dangers of weed; I know it won't kill her, but I just don't want her to get in too deep or something. I love her, but she doesn't always have the best judgment...
So my question is: would it be out of line for me to confront her about it, or should I just mind my own business?
Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance. (link)
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If she's your best friend then its not out of line for you to confront her about it. Just explain thatyou don't want it to become a habot for her and you don't want to lose her to drugs because weed is a gateway drug. Just be calm about it and don't make it seem like your attacking her. So confront her about it when you are alone and ask her about it. Don't just tell her how bad it is for her because, chances are, she already knows.
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Good Luck :)
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my friend is really crazy and whenever she comes over to my house i have to hide everything that she does crap with like puts in peoples hair or has fights with like whip cream chocolate fudge umm and even my cell phone. shes made mose of my friends cry and bleed. how can i tell her enoughs enough without her getting mad at me (link)
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There isn't really a way that can go over perfectly. Everbody will react differently. Just tell her that those things kind of annoy you and bother you and that they bother other people too. Make sure to tell her that you still want to be her friend (if you do) and that you thihnkk shes great and everything but these things kind of irritate you and you don't like having to take extra precautions so that she doesn't cause chaos.
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(i have asked this question to other people but so far noone has writen back): )
last minute i decided to have a birthday party. everyone i love is getting together to go to this cool club sort of place. My friend, lets call her Orchid, and her boyfriend Tom (now ex) were invited. They broke up bitterly. I think Orchid blamed me, even though i had nothing to do with it. Orchid's friend Bee was also invited. The invite and RSVP was after the breakup. Tom said of course he'll come. Orchid said ok, and so did Bee over the phone. Tom and Orchids parents varified they could come. Bee convieniently said she was out right now and that her mother was working. Then that her mother was sleeping, all of which she said online. Bee kept saying that she was worried that Orchid and Tom would fight. I said that both had a choice to say no. She kept going on about how she doesnt want them to fight and stuff. I said it doesnt have to do with her. Bee was typing unusually slow, so I think she was either with Orchid and were thinking together of what to write or that she was copy/pasteing the whole conforsation.
Now the night before, when I went over orchids house for her to sign something about the party, she didnt let me in. she opened the door a half inch and didnt even smile at me. Bee was there as well, but seemed nicer. I called Orchid to ask her why she was acting "all weird" andgoing on, that if shes mad she doesnt have to come. She said it was just bad chinese food.
Then today rolled around. Finally my mom got fed up (because we need to know how many r definitely going for transportation reasons) and called Bee's mom. She was home, and awake unlike Bee said. Bee's mom said it was fine, that her daughter can go and that her daughter was out with a "friend"
Orchid hasnt called me. When I called her she said, "we can hang out tomorrow. tomorrows tomorrow so i'll call u then" Tomorrows here and she didnt call me. she said that shes worried that I will feel uncomfortable that herself and Tom wont be talking. I said i dont care, to just keep their mouths shut and enjoy the music. She was like "sure Tori (my now fake name) nothing will happen". she said 'sure' like she was writing me off or something. I cant explain it, but it just didnt sound right.
Orchid also said "for my party when Bee was mad at Lea (another one of my friends) I didn't invite lea cause I didnt want to start trouble." I said that their wont be any trouble to start.
My thoughts: i think Bee and Orchid are going to pull out the last second and r just looking at my party as a game. OR that they r using me to see the band and for the free entry ticket (my mom is paying for everyone to enter).
btw, another one of my friends... lets call him Rob, said no to the invite. I found out later that he, Orchid and Bee were pranking one of my friends all night. Now Rob decided that he wanted to go. I lied and said I couldnt get him a ticket because throughout this drama he has been mean to me. Orchid at one point screamed at me (over the boyfriend thing that was about 4 days ago) so loud i couldnt make out what she was saying. Bee called me bad names. I had nothing to do with Orchids and Toms breakup (as Tom knows) Orchid agreed this was a 'misunderstanding' but didnt sound sincere. I think Orchid just wants to blame someone so she decided to blame me.
Question: if orchid and bee do show up, i think they'll cause trouble and team off. I want to just uninvite them at this point, but I dont want to be mean. I dont know what to do. And believe me, I may have writen alot but I just skimmed the topping of the drama thats been going on for the past week.
i'm turning 15 and i'm a girl. i wrote alot so u can get a clear understanding of whats going on. (link)
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This is definately a difficult situation. If I were you, I would still invite everybody (except Rob). Clearly, these girls are acting stupid and just teaming up and being completely and unnecessarily rude to you. You should talk to them face to face. Especially Orchid since she seems like she is the root of everything and all of this drama. Just explain that you invited her and Tom before they broke up and you can't just be completely bogus and uninvite Tom. Talk to Bee and ask her why she is being rude. You can just come out and say that you think she is being rude to you and you just want to know why because none of this was really her problem to deal with. Its almost like she just wants to be involved in drama to get attention. Just tell Orchid if she doesn't want any drama, she shouldn't cause any because that seems to be what seh is doing right now. Tell her that you can try to separate her and Tom if it will make her uncomfortable. But then if they are just continuing to be rude and mean to you, just tell them that they don't have to go to your party if they don't want to. Say this without uninviting them because if you uninvite them it will just show them that what they were saying and doing was getting to you. Overall, I would just talk to them to see what they think about the situation. Message me if you need more help or have any questions! I hope you have a great DRAMA FREE party and that everything works out with all of your friends.
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well the ppl who i thought were my friends always go put and never bother to call me to ever go but then when they need a ride home they always seem to call me cause i can drive i cant stand it what should i do ? should i get new friends and let them know how i ffeel ....Ill rate!!! (link)
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Your "friends" are just using you and if they really wante dto be your friend, they wouldn't just call you for a ride. Before just dumping them talk to them to see what they are htinking. Maybe they don't realize that they are using you ro that it hurts you. But after talking to them, if they still treat you like this or they do similar things just don't be there friends. Because Im sure that there are poeople out there who would love to be your friend and won't take advantage of you.
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A little more than 25 years ago, I met a guy who became a friend. About three years after we met, he took my car out one night, got drunk and smashed it up. I had to pay to tow the car away, junk it, and for tickets. Cost me over $1,000 at the time. He never offered to pay me for the damages to my car.
He was doing bad financially at that time and I figured that later on, when he was doing well, over time he would find some way to compensate me because we were still "friends."
Fast forward 25 years. This "friend" is single and doing well, owns house, car, good job, etc. Last year I borrowed $300 from him to buy emergency plane tickets, and told him I'd pay him back when I could. About three weeks later, he began to demand repayment in full. He was nasty about it so I reminded him about his car wreck 25 years ago. Nobody made him pay then.
He was still angry; I was stunned. No, I did not ever pay him back. The crisis has passed but I want to know, who's right about this? Should he get his $300 back? And what about people who think the passage of time relieves them of their financial and moral obligations? Your help please....
(link)
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You should give him the $300 back if you can and then tell him that you keep your promises and pay him back and that he should do the same. Then, if he can't pay you back for a large mistake that he caused and an expensive one. Maybe you should talk to him about your friendship and if he still doesn't get it, he doesn't treasure your friendship. THis would be an entirely different story if now, he is in a poor financial situation, but as you exlpained, he clearly has the money to pay you back.
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okay so here's the deal. I'm 16/f and my best friend is a guy. He's attractive but i've never really like thought about doing anything sexual with him. He used to date one of my other friends, and now he's asking me to do stuff with him. I'm sure if I should. I'd feel bad because of my friend, but I want to at the same time because I haven't been with anyone in along time. Considering i've only been with 2 other guys. What should I do? Am i bad person for even considering it? (link)
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Of course your not a bad person for considering it but don't ever do sexual things with somebody because you feel bad or embarrased by saying no. If he is truly your friend and you say no, he should respect it. Don't ever let anybody manipulate you into a situation that you are not comfortable with.
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Ok, so I've liked this girl for a long time, and during the beggining of the school year she also liked me (I didn't know it back then). Now, she's going out with one of my friends, but we still talk a lot. She also keeps on asking me who I like (A lot!) Every time she says that though, I just ward it off by saying something else. So my question is...should I tell her that I like her, or keep that secret safe with me? (link)
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This is difficult because if she is dating one of your friends, you don't want to complicate the relationship or cut it short. I would wait until the relationship was over. If you are already good friends with her, after the realtionship ends you should tell her. What do you have to lose?
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