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I feel stupid. All the time. Embarrassed, unworthy. You name it. I have such low self esteem. And all my friends are just so perfect. They have perfect hair, perfect bodies, perfect social life, perfect boyfriends. In fact, I don't even know why they are friends with me at all. And I'm not jealous of them. That's so not a part of any of this. This has to do with me. I'm just saying that being surrounded by them just seems to make my life seem even worse.
I can't seem to do anything right. I mess up every friendship I have. My parents told me it's because I always drop everything if there's a friend in need. I support my friends to the extreme. They always take priority. This is because I don't want them to think I'm not a very good friend because I don't want them dumping me again and again and again. But, they never reciprocate the level of support that I give them. I just, can't seem to...do anything. I'm so stupid for even having friends. So so stupid. I shouldn't have any, because I'm selfish for expecting them to show their support for anything that I do. I feel as though I don't deserve their support, but I have to keep giving mine to them because I feel like they deserve it. I don't deserve it. I don't know why I would. They've made it pretty clear that I don't deserve anything from them.
Sorry if this is confusing. It's late, and I'm tired. But this all made sense in my head. It's just harder to get it out on paper...well, computer screen. Whatever. (link)
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first off, dont feel stupid. You can't help the way you feel inside. I bet youre beautiful. cant really say because i dont have a pic, but you sound like a very beautiful person on the inside. I feel a lot like you. My self esteem is low too. And dont think that because your friendships dont always stay together that its YOUR fault. That is a very good trait for a friend to have. If they wish to take advantage of that, or decide to look for other friends, then thats their deal. its THEIR loss. They're missing out on a special friend. You have every right to feel upset for your 'friends' dumping and using you. You deserve their full support and a 'thank you' for being there for them. It's THEM that dont deserve you. You are a sweet girl, and in time you'll find out outer beauty isnt what makes the world go around, its love, friendship and inner beauty. In the end, I think most men would rather date an ugly woman, and have a kind heart than a beautiful one and them having a cold, and cruel heart. Not saying youre ugly, but im sure you get what im trying to say. I wish you the very best.
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Mkkkayyy where do i start.
so my best friend maggie;
we weerre very close, i meen so close we lived at eachothers houses. we would hang out evvvveerryday and do evvveerything together.
we liked the same type of guys and the same clothes.
i meen, we were honestly the best of friends.
well. summer came.
and i havent talked to her in foorrevver.
i meen , 2 months now?
in the beginning of the summer we hung out like.. 3 times.
but, idont know. i think i stopped hanging out everyday because we fought too much.
i meen, we fought over ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.
-if i ust wanted to relax and not hang out? it pissed her off.
-if i gave her a "cocky" look; WORLD WAR3 STARTS!
ughhh it bugged me so ffreekin much..
also i have another very close friend,lindsey.
i meen im so close to lindsey that i consider her my sister, ive known her ever since the 4th grade.
well lindsey lives right across the street from me and sometimes comes over when maggie is over
now.. im totally fine with all three of us hanging out but MAGGIE. SHES... i cant even explain it! shes such a differant person with lindsey.
its like.. she sucks up? she tries soooo fcking hard to make lindsey laugh.
sure- i get jealous.
but yeah her fakeness allllwwayyys brings us into fights when lindsey is around.
like, when lindsey is around and were having a fight, she always turns to lindsey and has that cocky face like " can you believe her.." or like " lindsey what do you think about that"
im like !?!? LINDSEY ISNT IN THIS SO STOP LOOKING AT HER FOR ANSWERS.
UGh it bugs me!
but .. that was a long time ago.
shes still like that im sure.
Also the 3rd time we hung out in the summer, the most recent, she had a guy problem
like; her ex called her and started talking crap about her bloah blah, and maggie starts crying and says she hates him and i have to like comfort her for an hour and you know.. stick up for her.
well.. what do you know.
she goes back out with him the next day.
THIS JERK! she goes back out with!!
and im like. wwwttfff??
you cried for soo long because this kid was so damn mean to you..
his name is devin who is the younger brother of lindseys boyfriend.
so , lindsey john (lindseys bf) maggie and devin all started to hang out. this happened before , so im used to the ; feeling left out part.
also where i thought i needed a bf who was friends with john and devin just to see lindsey and maggie.. but im not that dumb.. i dont do that.
okay so . maggie and devin broke up because devin told his friends he was goign to cheat with maggie.
maggie starts hanging with a close friend of hers, just like we hugn out; evverryydayy.
i cant say she didnt try to call me, because i didnt.
i feeel like, i dont need to.
for some reason, i dont want to see her?
idk.
i dont want to get into fights,
i dont want her to be a fake around lindsey,
and i espicially dont want to deal with devin.
what do i do?
i meen, we havent talked in sooo long.
and if this happened two months ago,
and we didnt talk for one DAY,
it would be a problem..
i think i was too attached to her
and now i dont want to be.
how do i tell her that?
like.. im not even sure why i dont want to see her,
but when i see her on myspace or something i just get so dang fed up with her..
what do i doo???? (link)
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Stop hanging out with her, to put it bluntly.
People change, and theres not much anyone can do about that. I think shes taking you for granted, because you are always there, so she feels like no matter what she does to you, you'll still be there.
She feeds off of your loyal personality, and doesnt even care if she hurts you. Shes fake. There are better friends for you out there
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I am really confused lately. I have a new guy friend, and we are becoming really good friends, and he is African American. And I hate to say it but, my parents..are racist. It's horrible. I don't know what to do. I just don't see why the color of skin matters so much. Help? (link)
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Continue to be friends with him. Don't let family ruin a good friendship. Just make sure you dont bring him around your house or anything.
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13/f
My friend who I was extremely close, we are/were best friends. She says she is my best friend. She doesn't show it. I see her about twice a week at church. Except I went over to her house every weekend. She has gotten bossy and just hits me sometimes when she gets mad. I have talked to her about it and she said she was sorry and she didn't realize what she was doing. She is an only child and spoiled too. She is acting like that again and I have stopped hanging around with her now. We haven't hung out in awhile and I am just confused. So any help would be appreciated thanks! (link)
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if you want to be her friend still, then you need to tell her to stop. you should honestly try to ask her mom or her parent to put her in counseling so she will hopefully stop hitting you and treat you that way. you are a human being and deserve to be treated better. thats the way i treated my friend niki at the time... but it wasnt because i was spoiled or anything, it was of personal reasons... but counseling straightened me out a lot. not because i felt like i had to, but because they made me want to stop. good luck :D
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15/f
umm so ive been trying to be nicer to people lately, and ive been speaking my mind a lot more recently. however, even though i like the fact that i speak my mind, i dont like the part about how ive been nicer to people. i know crazy right? i feel like im..idk, begging for friends i guess. and this feeling just makes my heart feel kinda heavy with um..regret? regret that i cant just be nice to people and not feel like im begging for friends.. i guess.
and people have been nicer to me lately, even people who i would never expect to be nice [mostly the "semipopular" and "popular" group] and i just feel like..I DONT DESERVE THIS! i dont know why i feel like i dont deserve it. i guess its because i spent 7th-9th grade wanting soo bad to be popular and now that i am actually getting attention from people [girls AND boys] i feel like i dont deserve any of it. like whenever i sense someone trying to be my friend i get excited, then i get turned off like "wow this person must be desparate to want ME as a friend".
now you probably think i have low self-esteem but honestly, i DONT! i think v. highly of myself, its just hard to think that others may think highly of me too, even though it was my goal 7th-9th grade to get others to think highly of me. i think that maybe i just dont like it when people get too close to me. like for example if im really nice to someone i feel like i have to act kinda mean to them the next time i see them, or start ignoring them. i started thinking about it, and i thought maybe this is a case of "i want what i cant have, and i dont want what i do have"? do you agree? and do you have any advice to help me?
i just want to be happy, comfortable, and secure.
thanks for reading (link)
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how fun! the high school scenario. :D
well, remember one thing, just because someone is popular, doesnt mean that they are any less human then you are. you put on a pedastal and think of them as Gods and Goddesses (not literally of couse). anyways you need to just be yourself. if you are being nice to people cause you want to, then i dont see why you dont deserve to be liked back. you may not have low self-esteem, but it seems to me that you think they are better than you in some way. everyone is human, we all think, act, eat, die, sleep, get hurt, get angry, and get happy. to gain friends, you need to be open and friendly and always be yourself. because when you start acting like a different person, you'll get all the wrong friends. who will end up only likeing you for someone youre PRETENDING to be and not being yourself. im sure you would rather have friends that love and adore for who you are. one of my favorite quotes in the world is from "The Wicked Jester" t-shirts. on the back of the shirt it says, "I'd rather be hated for who i am, than to be loved for who im not". which is true in my opinon, and its a quote that lives with me. we all want to be "happy, comfortable and secure". i think the only thing that youre going through is that youre still maturing (dont take that the wrong way. im being very respectful and dont mean anything bad by it), and learing on who you are. its a part of growing up, and i think youre just confused because youre still trying to discover yourself. trust me, if im right, then i know what you can do to help youself, cause i have been through this and i already know who i am. i have plenty of time on my hands and when i have nothing to do, i just sit and think. not only that, but i am a future anime/manga artist and i created over 100 characters "just thinking" and being inspired. so i bought some books about discovering your characters. what im trying to say is, do more thinking, try to buy this book. its called:
"What would your Character Do?" by Eric Maisel, Ph.D. and Ann Maisel.
it puts you in situations where its possible to understand yourself better. its $16 dollars plus tax.
i hope i helped. Good luck
Mistress Slipknot
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Okay, back when I was in 6 and 7th grade, I was very popular. But, when I started going through puberty I guess I changed. I just went down the hill. Im still pretty popular, I guess. But, I just not sure what happened.Yeah, this is pretty confusing. But, please give advice about what I can do/should do to get back up to the top.
Thanks ! (link)
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no offense, but that sounds stupid. it doesnt matter how much youre liked. trust me, ive learned from personal experience that it doesnt matter. i was popular around that time too, but then everything changed when i got into seventh. as i was getting nicer everyone else was getting meaner. then as i started learing the truth about being popular. most people are only popular because theyre snotty, mean and plain nasty. im telling straight so that you dont fall into the same mess i fell into. just be yourself, and everything should fall into place. never please anyone, i guess is my answer. dont be a poser always do your own thing and be your own person. good luck, hope i helped
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