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Hi my name is Lety and I am here to help. I currently work full time but like to turn on my computer in the evenings and help anyone in need of an answer(s). Please don't be shy, drop me a line if you need anything, I truly would love to help..........

advice

My friend's grandma is really close to dying, and she is really upset about it because she has been through more than I can even describe and if I did it would take me a long time.. But I never know what to say to make her feel any better about it.. I usually just say I'm here for you and it'll all be okay and stuff along those lines but I don't know what to tell her.. Any suggestions?

All you can really do is try to calm her down. A death isn't easy for anyone to handle but at times we have to accept it. Just try to make her understand that the way humans were made were to last until a certain period of time and then we have to let go. As much as it hurts us to see people we love leave we need to realize this is the way GOD made us.

Try to distract her and make her laugh if you can to try to cheer her up. This is a very hard situation and the only thing you can really do is be there for her :)

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I have a really good friend, a best friend you could say, who is really troubled at the moment. It has to do with a guy she really cares about who moved out of state and who will probably not stay in touch because it's super long distance and because he said he doesn't want to talk to people because it'll make him miss being here. It's hard to know what to do or say to her because she just seems so hurt and affected by it. It seems like I can't say or do anything to possibly make her feel any better. /i hate seeing her like this. Does anyone have any ideas of what I can do or say? Has anyone else ever been in this situation? Thank you.

Yes, I have been in this situation and it's TOUGH. No matter what people tell you it hurts. I think this situation will only get better with time. Make her understand that if he left or had to leave is because things weren't meant to be. Make her understand that this is out of her hands and she has to be the stronger one and proove to him & herself that she's TOUGH..........

Love isn't easy to deal with and harder to let go BUT at times only GOD knows why things happen the way they do.

All you can do for her is be her best friend and try to listen to her and distract her as much as you can. With time she will understand and see the situation from another point of view.

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so my best friend is a boy, which tends to make people think we're dating.. all of the time. haha. but the other night he finally told me that he has started to avoid being alone with me because he doesnt want either of us to miss out on relationships because people think we're dating.
that really bothers me because hes my best friend. we're supposed to be able to do things alone instead of having to wait and see if someone else can hang out as well. how do i convince him that he shouldnt care what others think and to stop avoiding times when we're alone?

This is a tough situation.........

The way people judge a girl & a boy together is definitely a couple. I say that if you guys go out, you guys go out to enjoy eachother's company not to hook up with someone else.

Talk to him and make it clear that if you two go out with eachother is as a friendship basis and that if you two are seen in society the way they are judging you shouldn't matter. Unless he goes out with you and is thinking about hooking up with someone else then that's an issue.

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i have this friend. She is so competitive. and she claims to be my best friend. So when i get something new, she has to get it, but in a better brand or more expensive to make me feel bad. example would be like; i just got a phone. a week later, she finally got a phone, but more expensive. then when i got a computer, she got one after, but in a better brand. I don't know why she does it but it is getting on my last nerve. Then when I come up with ideas, she steals them and make them into her own. for example. Our whole group of friends hasn't hung out in a while, and i was saying how it would be tight to have everyone get together at a sleep over and just chil. She went off and told all of them as if it were her idea. And it is so frustrating. She also tried to steal my boyfriend. I ended up having to brake up with him because of whole lotta drama. I have slowly separated myself from her. She asked me if we were still best friends, and I said no. And she was begging for best friend status. But I said no. And I have stopped telling her everything, and calling her. I just listen, because I will always be there for her, i have never betrayed her. I helped her lose weight, and told her when people were talking ish about her. But with all that, she repaid me with all that. I want to separate myself from her to the fullest. Do you guys have eny ideas? what do you think about the whole situation?

I think that your X bestfriend has some serious issues...........

From everything you wrote it is very true that she is very envious of you. If you have a best friend you want the best for her in every way and from what you wrote it seems that she wants to be on top of the staircase in everything.

First of all did you confront her on the main issue, the competiveness?? If you did and she straight out ignore the issue then you need to let go...

Just be upfront with her and let her know that you feel you two have grown up and now things have changed in how you feel about your relationship. Try to cut all ways with her and move on...............

Breaking up with a friend is hard but sometimes we have to do it for ourselfs.......

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18/f
so i use to be close to this girl. but we went to different schools and we just...stopped talking for awhile. well then we hung out every now and then and then stopped talking again and lately she was asking what i was doing because she wanted to get together, and i was always busy. so last night i texted her and was like, what are you doing tomorrow night? we should go to dinner and she was like yeah!! and so then tonight i met up with her at a restaurant and we were catching up on everything, and i was like oh you got a new phone and she was like ya! here look, and she gave it to me. well i was looking at everything and i went to her texts and i saw that she was like talking about me to another friend (i use to talk to her too) and she was texting her about how i asked her to go to dinner out of no where, and how it's all awkward and the girl was like ask her about college and she was like well then what!! and she was like it's just awkward. i didn't think it was awkward at all and so when i saw that i was like wow i feel stupid now. she is talking about me to someone else, saying how it was random how i asked to go to dinner, and how it's all awkward (but it really wasn't?) and i told her like everything that was going on in my life, all my problems and everything i've been going through and now i was like okay..sweet. guess i can't trust anyone anymore? i just wanted to leave after that because i felt so stupid. i don't know what to do. am i stupid for feeling so dumb about this?

Please don't feel bad................

You were trying your best to work this relationship with her again but if she wasn't up for it, then it's her lost.............

Sometimes we try to connect with people from our past and sometimes it doesn't work out........

Don't feel bad about your effort, but give yourself props............You tried and it was her lost not yours.........

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I'm in college and I have a few good friends. I'm not shy, I'm just very picky and cautious about befriending people and trusting them. I do not go out alot. Some college girls like to party, but I'd rather just relax and watch a movie at home. I'm not incredibly social, and it's mostly because I choose to be this way. Is this a really bad problem/issue? I've had boyfriends and big groups of crazy friends before, but now, I'm more into family and studying.

No I don't think their is nothing wrong with you choosing who you want to spend your time with........

I don't think your anti social I just think your more mellow then others in your area...........

If this is what you truly like then don't let others comments take you down.......We are who we are as individuals and others comments are their comments and don't truly matter :)

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Umm... I'm a really shy person and I was wondering if anybody can help me become more talkative and less shy. Maybe even some reasons why I'm quiet. Well thanks to those that can help.

With love,
~!MysteriousGirl!~

I used to be in your shoes & know how hard it is to break out of the shell........

When you talk to others how do you feel? do you feel they are judging you?

Why dont' you try this........The next time you talk to someone, think of it as "what the heck I am a confident girl that nomatter what they think I have it going on........boost your ego up & youll be fine.........

W/B if you need my help :)

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how would u guys treat a back stabbing friend???? especially she spread nasty rumors about you??
also she take your friends away??????

I would absolutely be really upset for her or his betrayal........

I say if you confronted her already then just let it go..........

Let GOD take things from your hands and deal with him or her.............

Sometimes friends are envious and do things out of that but playing the game as they do is childish and immature, let things fall into place by putting them into GOD's hands :)

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I don't understand why people have so much faith in me. They tell me that I'll make a team or that guy will go out with me but when it comes around for that stuff I didn't make the team or that guy acutally had the crush on girl who told me. Is it their confidence? I know i lack in that area and if it is b/c of their confidence i am glad to lack because i would never want to keep being put down like that i understand that it's not on purpose but still why do people say such reasuring things?

People believe in you that's why they say those things............

The ? is do you believe in yourself?

I suggest you don't let their comments offend you or make you doubt yourself......Take their confidence as a plus on your court just assure them that if it fails your okay with it.......

Hope I was of help :)

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My friend's boyfriend broke up with her unexpectedly 2 1/2 months ago after a 10 year long live-in relationship. She is obviously heartbroken, shocked, confused, afraid, angry, etc. Here's the trouble... Several of our other girlfriends are giving her terrible advice (i.e. You should try to make him jealous. You should start dating immediately. You just need to go out and party. If you want him back, you have to compete with the girls he's seeing and fight for him.) It is obvious to me that he doesn't want to be back in this relationship. Her efforts to get his attention and make him jealous are only resulting in further disappointment for her. What can I do to help her let go? She is still totally clinging to hope and hasn't moved into the "acceptance" stage of the grieving process. She is turning 40 this year, and that is also a great fear for her. She feels she gave the best years of her life to him and that she'll never have true romance again.

I wish I had better advice for her than some of my other friends, but I don't. I try to encourage her to look ahead to a bright future, to make plans for a bright future, that she deserves a bright future, that she is capable of crafting a bright future, and that she is intelligent, strong, and loved and supported by many, many people.

She just keeps trying to compete with the new girls he's seeing, and she'll never come out on top because he doesn't want to be with her. How can I help her see that? I am tired of watching her set herself up for what is turning out to be continuous, extreme disappointment.

OMFG

1st of all your an amazing friend for looking out for your friend. She is one lucky person to have you in her life.

Breakups are always a tough situation. It takes time for an individual to see reality, and this is me talking about my own experience.

I would suggest you continue distracting her, and making her feel special and loved. Try to make her see that she is a tough girl that if he does't feel this way for her then why continue looking for him. How about taking some time away from town and just seeing the world from another part of town. Or even enrolling her into a type of hobby such as an art class or something that you both can cherish and that she can distract herself.

Just make her understand that she is worth more then competing with other girls. Repeat to her (over and over if possible) how gorgeous she is and how she doesn't deserve to be humiliated like that........You can also tell her a lil fib and say that if you ignore the man and those girls maybey this way he can realize how good he had it and come back to her........

It's a tough situation but I know that aslong as your aside her she will be just fine.........

Please feel free to contact me if you have further questions, hope I was of help>

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