Okay, my best friend was dating a guy for about six months before he went across the country for college. They continued to date long distance. He cheated on her while he was there, but she instantly forgave him and now she is also attending college there. Her self esteem since they have been dating has seemed to plummet. She is a very tiny person anyway, but she is constantly concerned with losing weight and exercising. She usually only tells me good things about their relationship, and makes excuses for plenty of rude, inconsiderate, and not very loving things he has done. She can't really afford to go to college where he is, her parents are going broke, and she is blinded by this jerk of a boyfriend. My question is whether or not I should tell her how I feel, I know she values my opinion very highly, and I do try to straighten her out about her weight issues, but I'm just not sure how far I should go.
Yes, you SHOULD tell her how you feel. Since you say she's blinded by the boyfriend, let her know. Plus, he might be cheatin' on her right now as it is. About the weight issue, she doesn't need to worry about that, there're other guys out there that wouldn't mind. Since she values your opinion, it shouldn't be any different this time. BUT, if it is, make her understand that you just want her to see reason. Ask her who relly matters - a boyfriend that is cheatin' or the parents that's payin' for her college.
I hope it helps.
Nicole
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ok..i really screwed up, i know. heres my story. my BEST friend was going out with this guy for like 4 months, then they broke up for no particular reason, just that it wasnt really working out. but i became sort of friends with him while they were together. all my other friends said during the time they were together that the way he looked at me was as if he liked me and all that. i took no notice because i didnt want my to hurt my friend. once they broke up... and about 2 months later he called me and asked me if he could come over. i said yes. we rented some movies and watched them. then we started fooling around and one thing led to another and we were all over each other and making out! we didnt have sex though. he left and i felt enormous amounts of guilt because i promised myself and my best friend that nothing would ever happen between me and him. i didnt want to tell her but i figured she had a right to know. i asked other people about what to do and almost all of them said that i should tell her. so 4 days later i did. she didnt take it so well. she hasnt talked to me since. she has sent me messages of abuse, turned my other friends against me, wont talk to me about it. i say to her that i will talk when shes ready to talk- she says shes not ready yet..then sends me messages saying that i am avoiding her- i am just giving her the space she needs or wants rather. all i am asking is what should the next step that i take be?? should i confront her to her face and tell her that we are talking about this now whether you like it or not...or just leave it!!?? Please help me! i am really stuck.
Hi ... i think you should get to face her. Tell her that you haven't been avoidin' her or whatever else she's been thinkin'/feelin'. And make sure you guys talk uninterrupted. You know what you did was wrong, don't be afraid to appologize more than once. Its hard I know, (been there) but once she's heard what you have to say, if she's a BEST friend, it'll take her some time to come to terms with it. It's normal. And don't be pissed if she doesn't appologize for the mean things she'ld done as well. She will do that later. Mean while, be the friend you could to her even if she and the world hates you for what you did.
Hope this helps.
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my friend cuts herself a lot like on a daily basis and i don't understand why she does it because she insists that she's fine and won't talk about it and i don't want to force her to because i don't really know what to say to her. what do i say to her and how can i help her?
Sorry I got this late, but, cuttin' one's self is one of the signs of depression. Your friend needs help. Its not healthy at all. I know you don't want to force her, but you could tell her how its not right to do so, and how she could get infected with deadly diseases if she continues with it.
She doesn't want to talk bc there's somethin' botherin' her. She doesn't/ can't tell. Ask her once again if whe wants to talk about why she does it- what exactly is botherin' her.
I'll also ask you to go talk to an adult. A school counsellor or a trusted teacher. Or if you're close to her family, tell the parent(s) (guardian). She might not like it but I'm sure you care (that's why you're askin' for help) and don't want anythin' bad to happen. She'll get over that. I don't know you, but you did the right thing, tryin' to help. I hope it works out and back to me if you wish. God bless ya.
Nicole
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We might all go to the movies saturday. We both were talking about how we wanted to see the new movie with ashton kutcher in it (gosh hes to die for, anyways haha)She said she wants to go with the girls saturday and when she told me that she had to leave I said yea so saturday since u said u want to go with some girls maybe we could all go. And she said she would like that. I dont know if she was saying that becasue shes a nice person and didnt want me to feel bad if she said no or maybe shes really up for the good night. I feel like i was just inviting myself but her to go with me also. I dont know how she feels about going with me but if we have a fun time then she would want to hang out with me and the girls together all the time, and we have hung out tons before. What should i do to make her want me in the group?
Sorry i got this late. First of all, are you talkin' about your best friend or another gurl in the group. I'm sorry u kinda lost me there. But anyhow's if its your best friend and you think she's sayin' that just to be nice, then that's not very nice of her. Bestfriends should be honest. Then again, there is a possiblity that she meant it. You'll know that on Saturday. Nevertheless, you shouldn't be the one to 'make her' want you to join the group'. She's suppossed 'make you' be in the group. Thats how best friends work. Not to bring you down or anythin' but think about this, if she wanted, you would have been in the group since the time she was in the group. (That's how i choose my bestfriends). So if i were you, i wouldn't push wantin' to be in the group. You can have your own group as well. If you're both very close, you might want to ask her if she thinks you're really or not fun to hang out with. If she's a true friend, she'll answer truthfully. You'll know if she means it or not.
I hope this helped. If not i'll be more than happy to recieve suggestions on how i answer questions like this. I apperciate your gettin' back to me. I'm happy I helped in the first place.
Nicole.
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Im actually starting to hang out with the people ive wanted to for about two years. I talk to them online and at school. They have a group of 4 people and if I join, it would feel weird becasue it seems to me like i would be brakng into their group when they might not want anymore friends in it. Im best friends with someone who is close with them and the only time i hang out with their group is when that best friend of mine asks us all to. I want to plan something on my own and i have talked to one of the girls about it she said it would be fun but how do i know if she says that to everyone who asks her to do something. Should i go for something that i dont know would work out but truley really want it to, or is their no point in even trying? How do I let the person know that i want to be in their group with out actually saying those exact words?
Okies ... first of all, i'm glad you finally got your wish. Secondly, if you are not sure whether she means it ('that your plan would be fun) then, you could always ask another one of the gurls, your best friend as well, if they think it'll be fun. There's no need jumping to conclusions that that gurl didn't mean it. You should ask others. Hope it helps.
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okay..this is going to be long, but i really need help. Ok, my (old) best friend is bipolar. She is really a hard-to-handle person. I dont know what to do cuz lately weve been getting into fights because im so sick of her bitchy-ness. I have no clue on what to do with her, shes like, starting stuff with her one other friend (cuz thats all she has) with me, so now were fighting too. This girl also walks around and shes all quiet and she thinks shes ugly and EVERYONE is out to get her-when really nobody knows her. If she were louder and had more friends-i think shed be happier. What should i do? PLEASE HELPP!!
I think it's time you need to sit her down and tell her exactly how she's actin'. If it gets worse, adn you know her parents(guardian)tell them how 'she thinks' everyone is out to get her and all. Its not right for her health to be thinking that way- its lack of (if not low self-esteem) self-esteem Meanwhile, you continue to be the good friend that you are. Hopefully, she'll change.
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I know this is long but please help me!! Here is the thing my friend and I got gotten into a fight, (he's goin to be 15 in July and I just turned 15 at the end of March, he lives a few mins from me (just on the other side of our town..he goes to a Catholic school and I go to a public school) the only thing it was it was mostly my fault, I take the blame for starting the whole thing...he was pissing me off and my friend convinced me to call him back in mid-december and ask him to come over so we could talk, he refused and it made the problem even worse, he didn't get why I wanted to do it face to face and no over the phone or AIM. He had swimming so he wouldn't be at youth group on Thursday till Feb. I saw him once since I last saw him in November and that was in January at our friend's father's wake. The whole time we were there, when I looked at him I could see that he was looking at me, I was just to pissed off to look at him or even talked to him so I was trying to focus on my friend then him so which I did. Till this day I still haven't seen him since then. There were nights were I would be up till 2 AM thinking about him and the whole situation we gone threw. We started talking again in Mid-March, we talk here and there and our friendship is getting back to what it used to be. Last night I was thinking about 2 of my friends and some reason I started thinking about him again and the whole problem. I am confused after a month of talking again and all, why am I am thinking about this all again? We both agreed we would drop the whole thing and forget about it, but for me I feel that it is hard to do because even if he doesn't see it I still feel it there and that it's something that I want to just get over for good. I am starting to miss him since its been almost 5 months since I last saw him, I should be seeing him this Thursday but I am not sure. I told him that I may not be the same when he last saw me, and he asked "why?".. I said "because it's going to feel akward when I see you because if everything that we went threw and how I haven't seen you in so long"..he said "I shouldn't feel that way towards him because he doesn't" and that actually got me to smile for once..to the point of how I was in a good mood for once since November. I was tempted to call last night and I had my friend help me (the whole who suggested I called him back in Decmeber) and so I called him last last night just to say "Hi, Whats up?"..but there was no answer. I figure I would do it again tonight, but I am not sure. What should I do? I want to write another poem but I can't get to the right words out. I guess I can only write when I am pissed not when I am in a good mood? Someone help me please!!
heyyyy!!!!! COOL DOWN! I think what you need is somethin' cold, say like ICECREAM!? LOLz ... All i can say is what he has told you already. Don't worry yourself, and pls do NOT call him tonight -as a matter of fact, don't call him till you see him on thrusday. Guys don't like to be pestered with phone calls. So do this-> from now till thrusday, write poems, like u do. Or if not, then hang out with friends and read, or do something. You'll be fine if u do something to take your mind off him. By the way, when you see him on thursday, try to ignore the past- DON'T bring it up. If you do, the meeting is worthless. Tell me how it went.
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This may sound wierd but im friends with this guy i met maybe 3 weeks ago at a teen dance club im 17 hes 19, i bearly know him and i dont know what makes me feel so much like i need to help him but its killing me that i cant come up with my own solution.
This kid was recently kicked out of his house where he lived with his father and step mother, and that may possibly be a good thing. his father was abusive and it wasnt a good living situation. the last few days hes either been sleeping in his car or finding people to stay with. What hes planning on doing in 11 days is moving back to texas (from new york) and back in with his biological mother who hasnt seen him in forever and who hes only been talking to for 2 weeks. All his friends and his life is here though and hes not even sure if texas is going to work out for him.
i was wondering if anyone has any suggestions of things he can do. chances he has of staying here. He did graduate highschool etc and is really a nice guy though obviously he has his issues. This is a last resort for me. idk if theres people i can talk to or what i just need someones advice on this
thanks
Hey! I think u did the right thing-Your wantin't to help him. For starters, askin' your dad to let him move in will be out of the question. He should definietly let authorities now that he has an abusive father. Especially if he has younger siblings. Then he should go any shelter ... a youth one for now, get a job. And if he still wants to move to texas, He definitely needs enough money for the trip. So pressure him to look for a job. Mind you, there's only little you can do for him If he refuses. I doubt he'll refuse bc he needs a roof over his head asap.
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