about

Please note that at this time, I am not accepting questoins. I am having serious doubts about the amount of time and patience that this site requires of me, as well as how I fit into its structure. Becuase of that, I will not be checking advicenators for a while, and thus WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. Here's my intact profile, however, in case I come back.



Welcome to my humble abode... or something.

My name is Brie, but you can just call me Wily (no, that's not my real last name). I'm an eighteen year old from rural Mid-Michigan (think Saginaw or Bay City, only surrounded by miles and miles of trees, corn, and sugar beets).

I'm an honor student, sort of. Not to brag, but I was Salutatorian of my high school class. I specialize in English, educational topics, and social studies, but I'm good with basic sciences and drama too.

I'm a big geek; I like to write and play RPGs, and my favorite video games ever are the Pokemon series. I'm actually a relatively well-known Pokemon master (I've moderated the forums of two bigger Pokemon fansites, and have been an on and off admin at one), and at the two sites where I became relatively popular I aquired the reputation of "The Pokemon Professor." However, that doesn't do me much good here, becuase who is going to ask about Pokemon on an advice site?

I don't have much experience with relationships but I have a natural nack for giving advice about them. I also don't know anything firsthand about things that we do not mention in polite company, but I know a lot about the science and psychology of them, so I'd be glad to answer safety-based questions--just don't ask me about technique, becuase I know nothing. I'll try to answer anything you throw at me, and many things that you don't, though, so feel free to try me.

Be warned though, I'm not afraid to tell it like it is. There are stupid questions, and if yours is one I will respectfully tell you so, and attempt to give you the information you need anyway. If you need to buck up and accept what's happening, I will say so. However, in this column I try to maintain a standard of respect, kindness, and helpfulness; you will not be flamed here. Unless you're a babyeater or something.

So, drop me a line, and I'll do what I can. Live long and prosper!



Requirements

Now, I know this is gonna kinda look stupid, what with this being an advice site at all, but I have a few simple requests for you.



If you do not follow these guidelines, I may not answer your quesiton. I will not say that I won't, because with some questions you don't need to say some of these things, and with some of these guidelines, you can't do anything until I've answered. But please make my life easier. That's what I'm trying to do for yours.

advice


Is there any way to tell how big your breasts will get? Like if you developed early you're likely to have small breasts or if you developed late you'll most likely to have big ones? 1'm 13f I know it's not important I was just wondering

Whew, you asked a lot.

There is no specific way to determine how large your breasts will be. The time when you start developing has nothing to do with it. For example, contrary to the example you started, I was an early bloomer, but I'm fairly busty, and I have late bloomer friends who are flat-chested... But there are early bloomers in my family who have flat chests too.

The best indicator you have for your eventual breast size if your female relatives. Your mother, maternal and paternal aunts, grandmothers. Don't leave out your father's side of the family either; you get one X chromosome from your dad. For example, most of the women on my mother's side of my family have small breasts, but I do not.

Also, your breasts don't really stop growing until you're 16-18. If you gain or lose weight, that will also effect their size. The rate at which they grow is not static, either. Especially in cases of wieght loss or gain, it can happen in spurts. Without accounting for weight gain, I reached my full size when I was sixteen and I also started when I was 11, but I have a friend who probably reached her full size within a year of her period. There are far too many variables to be able to predict this reliably. Just take good care of yourself and eventually, your breasts should be the right size for you.

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Anyone have experience with wisdom teeth?

Well, my appointment for getting my wisdom teeth surgically removed is on August 2nd. No, my wisdom teeth have not sprouted, they're still hidden inside of my gums. I'd kind of like to know what to expect. I don't want to be too freaked out but then again I don't want to be unprepared. If you or someone you know has gotten their wisdom teeth out, could you please tell me the procedures before, during, and after? I'm not too worried about the after, I know it will be painful, but I can deal with it...just not the before and during. Don't give me a website, I've already done my share of researching, I just want to hear from real people that have experienced it. Here are some questions buzzing around in my head and I would be VERY GRATEFUL if these are answered:

- Will I get a shot for anesthesia? Knowing my dentist...I don't think I will get sleeping gas. Many people say they just got sleeping gas. My last bad experience at the dentist was when I had my four permanent teeth removed. And for that they gave me shots. Boy did it hurt. I still remember my eyes watering from the pain and the blood squirting...I am really scared of shots.
- How do they keep your mouth open? My brother said they stuck a big block into his mouth. Eek. I'm not to comfortable with that either. I have pretty bad gag reflexes.
- How can I keep the empty sockets that will be there after it's all done clean? I heard about salt and water?
- Any foods you would recommend? I know I'm going to miss eating "real" food.

Thank you VERY much for your help. It really does ease my nerves a little.

The anesthetic you get usually depends on the severity of the tooth problem and preexisting medical conditions, as well as personal choice. If your wisdom teeth are VERY messed up, you will be forced to take a general anesthetic (that renders you unconscious). That's what I had, and my recount will reflect that.

If you have to do general anesthetic, you won't be able to eat anything after a certain time of night. You'll go in, have your vitals taken, etc. They make you or your parent sign a waiver about the anesthesia risks. You will also get an IV with a saline drip, or something similar. Don't worry, that's just so the IV is ready when you need it. After everything's taken care of, and you're ready for treatment, they'll do last preparations. Asthmatics get breathing treatments (I did), and then the anesthetsiologist will give you some form of sedative, for me it was Versed. This relaxes you so it's easier to put you out and intubate you. Versed feels really crappy, but you'll only feel it for a few minutes.

You'll be wheeled into the OR (you can take plushies usually! they put them by your feet!), and given the general. Then you're out like a light. Once you're out, they put a tube down your throat so you can breath. This is intubation.

I don't know any details from that until after you wake up.

When you wake up, expect to be very groggy, and very sore. Your mouth will probably hurt, and your throat will feel as if its' on fire due to the intubation. It will be hard to open your eyes, and harder to talk or write. You'll be fairly aware, but your mouth and hands won't cooperate with you. Ask for ice chips. They'll help your throat.

After that, they'll let you wake up a bit, make you eat some food (I got sherbert), and then ship you home. Sleep in the car. Then go home and sleep. Don't try to read until you've been home for at least three hours and slept for at least two of 'em.

If you suddenly feel like you're panicking, like you're going to die or can't breathe, don't worry; panic attacks are a rare but normal side effeect of anesthetic. You can go to the doctor and get a mild sedative of this, or you can pray it away. Seriously. Focusing on a repetitive prayer, mantra, or verse will keep you under control until the attack subsides. Memorize a poem, a bible verse, or something, and recite it over and over if you start to panic until you come down.

That probably won't happen to you though. It's very rare and I have a neurotic disposition to begin with.

As for keeping your mouth clean, they should give you a syringe to use. First you use peroxide in it, then water. Just squirt it gently into the holes.

Don't use straws. They cause PAINFUL dry sockets.

For food, you will live on ice cream, yogurt, whipped cream, cheez wiz, and mashed potatoes. And soup. Don't suck on anything, AND DON'T EAT DAIRY FOR BREAKFAST. For the love of CHAOS, DON'T EAT DAIRY FOR BREAKFAST. If you're even slightly lactose intolerant, it will be miserable.

Also, soda is your friend. Sure, it may rot your other teeth, but it'll help keep your blood sugar up and keep you from losing too much weight. I lost ten pounds in eight days when I had my surgery, and nearly fainted when I went back to school.

And take it slow. It may take a long time, but you WILL feel better.

If my warnings seem a little bleak, I must warn you that I had a particularly severe scenario--my bottom teeth were dangerously close to nerves and my top wisdom teeth had broken into my sinus cavity. Your case probably won't be as bad. Consider my warnings a "worst case scenario."

Just do what the doctor tells you, take your medication, and don't push yourself too hard. You'll be fine.

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Does coffee speed up your metabolism? or anything with a lot of caffeine actually

In a way, yes, caffeine does sort of speed up your body. In fact, it acts a lot like those speed boosts in racing video games--for a little while, your metabolic rate and body functions go faster than they would normally.

However, unlike those speed boosts, caffeine has side effects. If you consume a high quantity of caffeine in a short period of time, when it wears off, you will "crash" and get tired. I speak from experience.

Caffeine is a drug, and while it has some positive effects, it has negative ones too. Just be careful, and make sure to eat extra healthy if you drink a lot of caffeine products or coffee. After all, most caffeinated drinks are just empty calories, with no nutritional value.

EDIT: For the record, the effects of caffeine only last a few hours.

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ok i am 13/f,

I was wondering if 13 is too young for someone to usae a tanning bed. i know it is bad for you, but is it to young. i know poepl who are my age and go year roung. i am only going for a month because i have an occatuion i want a tan for, and where i live we dont uch sun. myother question is,can i getskin canser even if i am only going a month..it is kinda late now to ask for me last day will be 2 marrow. but i would ,like to know your oppion.

thx, i rate high!

Alyssa

Now, I know all the other responders to this questoin have said that it's just fine.

It's not.

The younger you are, the more dangerous tanning is. There are a lot of reasons, most of which I, the average person that I am, don't understand. But one reason is that the damage done by tanning and sunbathing is cumulative. The DNA in your cells is damaged every time you're exposed to sunlight, obviously that damage is going to add up over time. If you start tanning very young, then you have more time to accumulate damage.

Also, when you're young, your cells are divding at a faster rate. You may even have reached your adult height by now, but everything else is still growing faster, including your skin. In fact, part of the reason people age is becuase slowed cell growth causes slower repairs to body tissues. If one mutation occurs in one cell due to tanning, every time that cell divides, its daughter cells have that mutation, then their daughter cells, and so on. The sooner in your life this occurs, the farther such a mutation could spread, etc. I'm not a doctor, so I'm not sure if I'm on the right track here, but even if my reasoning isn't right, my general conclusion is. Countless medical sources I've seen have cited the fact that the younger you are, the more at risk you are.

I also have an example to offer. My grandfather was a rather pale man with blue eyes. He got malignant melanoma sometime in his 50s I think, and died in his 60s becauase it metasticized. He didn't deliberately tan I dont' think, or at least the way you do--I think he's older than tanning beds. Then consider his dark-eyed, slightly darker skinned, daughter, my aunt. She went to tan (in tanning beds) very frequently starting, if I remember right, in her 20s or 30s. She was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma around age 40. Fortunately, they managed to extract it before it spread, but we still worry.

My advice to you is to stop tanning, or cut down heavily. If you insist on tanning in a tanning bed, try to avoid tanning outside as well. Always wear sunblock, even in the winter... and make sure to use high SPF in the summer. Also, consider going only for a subtle tan, instead of a heavy one. And don't be afraid of being pale. Pale can look really good. There was a reason it was all the rage 200 years ago.

But whatever you do, keep an eye on your skin. If you get any new moles, or if any of them change, see a doctor immediately. It's normal to get new moles into your twenties, but if you've tanned a lot I wouldn't take chances.

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This may seem like a weird question to ask, but sometimes i get vaginal discharge. It is like gooey white stuff in my underwear. I read in magazines that is normal when you are about ready to get your first period, but its been along time and i havent gotten my period yet! I wash around there every night and i wear pads to keep it from not killing my underwear but it still smells bad and keep coming! What should i do?

Everyone else is pretty much right. It is normal to get discharge, it will continue after you get your period, and the only thing you can do is wear pantiliners if it feels that gross.

There are a few points that were missed.

Wearing pantiliners for much of the month is going to get old, and it's perfectly okay to get veginal discharge on your panties. It washes right out. Trust me.

Second, vaginal discharge does have a slightly "funny" smell. As long as that smell stays constant, you're okay. If it's the same as it was when you first started getting it, that's just fine. But if the smell ever changes, you should really go to your doctor. Also, if it smells really strong, you should get checked out... if you only notice it when you're changing your pad, then it's fine.

A good rule of thumb is that your vaginal discharge should start clear and dry white or slightly yellowish. If it ever turns white or yellow when wet you MUST see a doctor. This can be a sign of yeast infection or something more serious.

Sorry if this is too much information.

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Im a 13-f. I've had my period for queit a while now. But the last time I got it was in the middle of February. I used to get it every single month. But all of a sudden, it just doesn't come. Anyone know why?

As one of the other columnists pointed out, if you've had sex fairly recently (last few months or so, just to be safe), then you could be pregnant. Yes, it is possible at your age. In this case, you should take a pregnancy test.

If you haven't had sex, then there are two possibilities--either something is wrong with you, or you're going through the normal menstrual irregularities that kids your age often have.

There are a few problems you could have. One of them could be being underweight. Are you "skinny?" If your body fat level falls below somewhere between 18 and 20%, your menstrual cycles might shut down. If this is the case, you need to gain weight... If you train very hard at athletics (VERY hard. I don't just mean play basketball or softball, I mean like Olympic level training), that can also disrupt your cycle. In either of these cases you should talk to your doctor about it, not on an emergency basis, but just to sort out what you should do next.

There are more serious problems that can happen, but they're rare at our age. If you're concerned about them, or you have other symptoms besides the absence of your period, you might want to go to a gynecologist for a basic check-up. They'll check for major problems and it'll act as a good "baseline" for the future, when you'll have to go to the gynecologist regularly. If nothing else, it'll put your mind at ease...

However, in all likelihood, nothing is wrong. At all.

Teenage cycles tend to be irregular. It's most noticable when you first start, but the weird schedules can last for years afterward. Everyone skips every now and then, but especially at your age. At thirteen, I wouldn't even worry about it. Just relax.

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Hi guyz, i was just wondering if it was true that if you have some kindof weird shape mole that means you have cancer, cuz thats what my friend told me and she is really afraid cuz she says she has a weird shaped mole.

Is it true?


~Steph~

I'll try to put all the good advice given into a more usable format.

In people, there are three types of moles. There are normal moles, dysplastic nevi, and melanomas.

Normal moles are small, light brown or flesh-colored, and symmetrical; they are smaller than a pencil eraser. Its normal to get new moles into your twenties, but if they come in normally you should be fine. I have one of these on my face, and you can barely tell it's there.

The "intermediate kind" of moles are called Dysplastic Nevi. They are dark and very large, or sometimes asymmetrical. I have several of these, and I plan on getting them checked out next time I visit a doctor; I have a friend who is practically covered with them. Dysplastic nevi are more likely to turn into cancer than normal moles, and most of the time they're quite ugly anyway (although not always; Enrique Iglesias looked really good with his :p). They can be miscolored, and they're usually very large. Many doctors advocate having these removed.

Melanomas are usually large, dark brown, black, blue, or red, and assymetrical--often, a lot like dysplastic nevi. They change shape or size, bleed, hurt, etc. Melanoma is a VERY DEADLY, very FAST form of cancer. If you catch it early, then survival rates are good, but once it metastisizes (I may have spelled that wrong), it's OVER. They removed one of these from my grandfather, but it had already spread and he died a few years later. With dysplastic nevi and melanoma, it's important to act quickly, but there's no need to worry--at your friend's age, it's probably just a dysplastic nevus.

The biggest thing to look out for is change. Some of that intermediate kind of mole are weird, but they stay the same. It's when they begin to change that you're likely to have a melanoma on your hands (or trunk, or face...).

With dysplastic nevi, they have a very high risk of turning into cancer, and should probably eventually be removed, or at the very least checked out by a doctor.

It is my recommendation that you have your friend talk to her GP (or general practitioner; basically her regular doctor) about the mole. He or she can examine it and tell her what to do next better than I could.

If you're wondering how I know so much about this, it's becuase melanomas run in my family; in the last 20 years two members of my family got melanomas, and one of them died. The victims in my family were in their 60s and 40s respectively, but melanoma does occasionally happen in teens and twenty-somethings, so it's important that your friend get that mole checked out the next time she has the chance.

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ok I have a thing in my family where I can only wear 14K gold earrings or ill get an infection..and well i really like these kinda earings ( http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=255499 ) just i know my mom wont let me get them..bc they arent 14K n i kno she wont let me make the hole in my ear bigger..but doesnt ne one know if i can get real 14K earrings likethoughs?..i dont like wearing really girly earings i only have these cute pair..which i think my sister stole from me..n then sliver studs...my mom also said i could get those earrings if they were 14K n regular size!! plz help thx in advance!!

Actually, I'm pretty sure what you're talking about isn't an infection, but actually an allergy--a nickel allergy. Nickel is used to make most jewelry, including gold jewlery, but the molecular structure of gold makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the nickel to leech out. Most high-quality silvers are safe, too, unless you get them wet.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do for a nickel allergy except avoid the items that make it flare up. If you react strongly to earrings that aren't high-quality gold, then you need to avoid them. I had to give up belts becuase the nickel in the buckles gave me a rash on my bellybutton, and I can't wear my class ring (which is a silver-platinum alloy) if my hands get wet.

If your allergy isn't that bad, you could talk to her about getting these for special occasions... but these aren't exactly the kind of earrings you'd want to wear to prom. I would just count them out and look for gold and silver earrings. Yes, I know you can only wear 14k gold, but if you're anything like me, a little silver on special occasions won't mess you up unless you get them wet.

Personally, I would save up and look for small gold hoops. They're feminine, but they aren't really girly, and if they're the moderately expensive kind they shouldn't aggravate your nickel allergy.

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Hey, I'm 13/F and I just got my period in January. I had it for 6 days. I haven't gotten it since!! It's the end of March now which means I skipped two months?? I know I'm not pregnant (I have no idea how to spell it)
Is something wrong with me???

Hey, don't worry about it.

When you first start having your period, your body has no idea what it's doing. It's sort of like when you first start learning a dance--you know what you're supposed to do, but you don't have the rhythm or finesse needed to do it right, so you just sort of stumble through. Eventually, with time and practice, you get it right. Your body is doing the same thing right now; it has to synchronize a lot of glands and organs to actually have a period.

For the first few years after you start getting your period, it's very normal for you to skip regularly, or have no pattern to your cycle. I wouldn't worry unless you skip more than two or three months. It takes a few years for your body to figure out what it's supposed to do, ans since you shouldn't be having kids anyway at this point, it's not like it's a problem.

Even after you start to even out, it's still normal for your cycle to change... It's even normal to skip periods sometimes. I regularly miss months when I get stressed out, and I've had my period for over seven years now. The only time you need to worry about skipping is when it goes on for more than a few months, when it's accompanied by weird and extreme symptoms, or you've had sex recently.

Of course, there are a few things you can do, both to ensure that you get your period, and to stay healthy otherwise. If you're worried about not getting it, there are two major causes that might be interefering--stress and diet. If you're under a lot of stress, that can cause it to be late, seem weird, or stop altogehter. Also, if you don't have enough body fat--at least 20%--then that can make you stop menstruating. So if you're on the skinny side, you might want to try to gain a little weight; however, I doubt that's the case.

I could give you some advice here about what to do about sex and your monthly cycle from now on, but you'd probably find that patronizing. However, I will drop a few pearls of wisdom.

I recommend waiting, at the very least, until your cycles even out and stay that wat for a few years before having sex, so there's less chance of a surprise, and so that you'll be more emotionally ready for it. Don't jump into anything, and use protection when you do.

Also, you really should try to keep track of your cycle, whether you're sexually active or not. Just put a little dot on your calender on period days or something, if you don't like keeping track. Also, www.mymonthlycycles.com has a good period tracker, that lets you keep track of your period dates, spotting, and PMS symptoms, and you can find printable calendars and things all over the internet. This way, if something does go wrong, you can trace it.

Lastly, you might want to talk to your mom about seeing a gynecologist. Everything sounds normal, but wouldn't you like someone with a degree in this stuff to tell you that? Plus, an exam after you first get your period can act as a good baseline for later visits when you're an adult, and the doctor can teach you all about self breast exams.

If you need any more advice, feel free to contact me, either at my column, my LJ, or over AIM. I'm sure most of the other girls who replied would be glad to help out, too. Almost all women have been where you've been and most have worried about the same thing, but at this point, there's really no cause for concern.

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ok i have this pimple that is like smaller than a pin head. the only problem is that it is so full of like puss and junk that it is white. i have tan skin so it REALLY shows up. the other thing is that it is like right where the outside curve of my nostril meets my face. so it is sort of hidden in a crease but still really noticable. my mom wont bring me anywhere to go get anykind of nutregina or anything so i need a home remedy on how to get rid of this bugger. like putting some kind of food on it or something. i need help and i need it fast.

Well, I know that this flies in the face of what every health professional will say, but if you're that desperate, just pop it. It'll decrease the whiteness, and if you squeeze it right and get all the goo out it should go away. Still, don't make a habbit of squeezing; it's not good for your skin.

Acne stuff wouldn't have an immediate effect anyway.

However in the long term, you really need to look into skincare. I know it will be hard, but you need to get it done, or else you'll just have this problem over and over again.

If you don't have many acne problems, you might want to look into a gentle facial cleanser--Velocity from Mary Kay is nice, as are Dove cleansing cloths. If your skin is more acne prone, go for Noxzema moisturizing or regular Noxzema. And if you have really bad acne in general, get Noxzema Triple Clean. That stuff is powerful.

Whatever you do, you need a two or three step facial regimine--cleanse, tone, and moisturize.

Cleansing is the most important step. Make sure your cleanser fits your skin type. Do NOT scrub, whatever you do. Just gently put it on and wash it off. I suggest the cleanser on before shower, stepping in, and rinsing it off. You should cleanse twice a day--before bed and after waking (and probably after brushing your teeth).

Toning is sort of optional, and many cleansers have toners built in.

And then moisturizing. This is importnat, even if you have acne-prone skin. Choose an oil-free moisturizer that goes with your facial cleanser if you can... Alternatively, a moisturizing cleanser may cut this step out. Still, if you moisturize, do it every time you wash.

If you need help getting these, you can get most Noxzema variants at any dollar store or grocery store, as well as major supermarkets. Dove cleansing cloths are a bit harder to find, but are found in basically the same places. If you want to give the Mary Kay products a try, go to Marykay.com and search for a local representative. Unfortunately, you can only get Mary Kay through sales reps.

Neutrogena didn't work too well for me, but everyone is different.

There are other products, of course, but I haven't tried them and I couldn't tell you how well they work. However, I'm sure other columnists have tried them and could give you their take.

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