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Siren_Cytherea
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I'm that person that everyone calls or e-mails when they need advice. It doesn't matter the subject, they contact me. I don't give you the answer you want to hear and most of my advice is not your mother's advice, if you want your mom's advice--Go ask your mom or mother figure. If you ask a question you will always get an honest answer--note: I did not say the answer you want-- I said an honest answer. If you ask me something I have to research to answer, I will research it and provide you with the source if you ask.
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Well I posted something here a while ago about someone breaking into our house. Well when I walked home today, someone that lives on my street gave me this really dirty wallet asking if it belonged to my dad. He was getting his hedges cut when he found it in the hedges. I took out the first card I saw in it and it was my health card!
I said thank you and immediately went home and told my dad what happened and gave him the wallet and told him to call the police like right NOW.
He just said no and just took out the cards that he canceled, threw them away, and put the wallet on the window sill and walked away.
I was like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? CALL THE POLICE!" But he kept saying no and was really quiet. It was like he was a totally different person.
I just...don't know what to do. He's supposed to call the police isn't he? I keep telling him to call the police but he keeps shaking his head and saying no. I don't get it. Could someone tell me if they know what he's feeling from his perspective? We should be calling the police! When our house was broken in, the police could not find any clues at all and now we have SOMETHING.
Your dad probably feels violated and as if he didn't protect his family. Rational or not it's how a lot of men feel when their house is broken into. He should call the police but now that your neighbor and you and your dad have all touched the wallet if may have smudged the prints if there were any. finding it in the neighbor's bush probably wouldn't help unless he knew who threw it there or has someone living in his house that could be suspected. My guess is that your dad wants to just move on. The only other option could be that he knows who broke into your home and doesn't want to talk about it. My dad reacted that way when he found out it was my brother who had broken into his house looking for money for drugs. He wouldn't turn him in. He finally told us but it was after we begged him to tell us what was happening and I asked him "did X do it?" and he said yes.
well i just recently got married to the most wonderful guy you would ever meet but i always seem nervous around his family and i don't seem to get any better around them and i always feel self consious around them.............could someone tell me whats wrong with me and give me some advice
I suspect you think they are judging you and you're afraid they won't like you or think you're good enough for him. My advice: be confident that he loves you and picked you. You aren't married to his family--you are married to him and it's his approval that matters and you obviously have that or he wouldn't have married you.
Have any of them done anything to make you uncomfortable or is it just new people nerves?
Do you have anything in common with any of his family members? That would be a way to converse and interact and allow you to be more comfortable.
My husband has family members that I can not tolerate. For the few minutes I have to endure their company I smile and act civil because I know that I don't have to love my husband's family to love him.
Do you think it's right for my sister who is 3 yrs younger (I'm 59) to insist my grandchilren (5&4)call her GRANDMA instead of AUNT? She married my ex-husband 6yrs ago. She has 6 grandchildren of her own! I realize her husband is their grandfather and I divorced him so he says she can do whatever she wants but she is their aunt and they are confused because everyone refers to her as two different people. I have let my feelings be known and I feel it's in bad taste and disrespectful to me but also it's causing problems in my big family. Should I let it go?
Both of you should let the kids pick what they want to call her. You have voiced your opinion and while I agree they should respect it, it doesn't sounds as if your sister or your ex care what you think. I had multiple grandparents growing up and they let me choose what to call people. I have done the same with my children. It doesn't really matter what they call her, they know who grandma is and who loves them and does for them. They also know who plays childish games. If she is insistent on grandma call her grandma ______ whatever her first name is. That's what we finally did. It settles the arguments, the kids aren't confused and while it annoys some people it's the easiest solution. Remember when your kids were growing up and you had to pick your battles? This is the same thing only with your own sister and ex who should but obviously don't have more respect for you than they do. My daughter has a Grandma Gail, Grandma Anne, Grandma Betty, Granny, Grandmommy, Nana and Mimi if that helps.
ok how do i this but um my sister is sorta emo and stuff and im like preppy and always happy. so my parents/siblings think its ok to put me down because i have a lot of friends and a boy friend and stuff. and when i tell them its bothering me they say your life is to good you need someone to put you down. but it kills me to think that they might acually might be true.well what can i do to make them stop
It will be hard but simply ignore them. They are unhappy themselves and trying to bring you down. Your parents are probably kidding and trying to make your sister feel better about her life and lack of friends, etc and they probably don't realize how much it truly does hurt you. Didn't they ever tell you that you could have anything and be anything in life? Next time they say something like you have to be brought down simply say, "I'm sorry you see it that way but I would rather believe that I deserve the happiness I find with my friends/boyfriend and would appreicate it if you would respect my happiness" and leave the room. That to me is not disrespectful and I wouldn't punish one of my children for saying it like that. However, I do not make my children feel as if they should be brought down and wonder about people who see the need to bring one child down in order to make another child feel better about a choice they made. Your sister has made the choice to be who she is and the lifestyle she is living and that is her CHOICE. No one ever said she couldn't have the things you have---it's probably just easier to blame her issues on you. Just remember---EVERYONE deserves to be happy and so long as your happiness isn't at your sister's expense--you shouldn't apologize or feel undeserving of what you have or your good fortune.
Iam 19 years old and about 2 weeks ago i ran away becouse i got mad at my mom and now iam not even staying at my mom's house anymore i've been staying at my cousins hosue so i can get a break from being around my mom to give us time apart from each other. I also have other problems ever since i've been hanging around my sister snd her gay girlfriend i havn't been acting myself lately i've been doing things that i wouldn't normally do like a few days after i had turned 19 i was curious about what my sister liked about having sex with girls and so my sister let me have sex with her girfriend and then awhile ago i got drunk and before i started hanging out with her i wouldn't do things like that and i love my sister and i don't want to stop hanging out with her becouse i don't want to hurt her feelings what should i do?
First you need to find out why you're behavior is changing. Perhaps it's just a stage of experimentation and you are ready to move on. Perhaps it's that you are scared of something and acting out. No one can answer that except you. You don't have to give your sister a reason beyond the old stand by of "I need some time to myself" and let that be it. It's kind of weird that your sister let you have sex with her GF. That's just strange. Being mad at your mom is normal. You are 19 and feel you are an adult and probably want to spread your wings a little and that's okay too. Just be sure to try and keep a relationship with your mother if you think it's something you want. I miss my mama everyday and I know I'll never get another day with her but I also know that no amount of time would be enough so cherish the time you do have.
Get a notebook and get somewhere quiet with just yourself--even if you have to check into a motel for the night and just start writing your emotions and feelings down. The order doesn't matter just write what you think of even if it's just random words. In a couple of days go back and re-read what you wrote and see if it helps you clear your mind and get your goals set for yourself. Then firmly set your goals in your mind and accomplish them.
Be assured that almost everyone goes through a stage of doing things completely out of character from time to time. It's normal and it's what you do when you come out of it that matters.
Okay, so me and my mom had like this reallyyy deep conversation about her childhood and what it was like compared to what i have. Anyway, it made me realize everything that she does for me. So for her birthday--which is in July--i want to do something special. When i was talking to her she mentioned how she ALWAYS wanted a doll called baby thumbelina. She said how she belived for like 3 years that if you wished on a star and didn't tell anyone your wish would come true. And everynight that was what she wished for..that doll. So as a birthday present or something i was wondering, would it be weird if i got her that doll? Shes going to turn 45. I know shes old, but its kind of something she never forgot. Also, where can i find a cheap REAL one and one thats not damaged or like broken or has anything wrond with it.
First of all--45 isn't old. LOL. It's not weird it's extremely sweet and thoughtful. Your mom has obviously done a good job with you and this will show her that you really do listen.
There are several on eBay.
http://reviews.ebay.com/IDEAL-apos-S-VINTAGE-THUMBELINA-DOLLS_W0QQugidZ10000000000850089
Go to Google and put in "purchase baby thumbelina doll" and sort through the ones you find. There are tons more on eBay than the one I posted above. Now finding one that is in "perfect condition" will probably be expensive but minor flaws is not a big deal anyway in this case. You can also print a picture of the baby doll from eBay and if you have antique stores in your area they might have them too. Also check local garage sales. A lot of people clean out their attics and don't realize what they have.
Can anyone help me convince my parents to let me be me? They are like trying and telling me to live a decent life and doing what's proper for me to make me happy, but the problem is I don't like it! I wanna have fun and do what I wanna do. My style is emo by the way and my parents don't know that and I don't think I wanna tell them cause I don't think they will ever understand. Right now I'm trying to get a mohawk and color it blue but my parent's say no and I don't understand why. One, I don't care what people will think of me, and two just cause I'm looking like those teens that they see out in the streets doesn't mean I'm gonna be like them! And if I become one then it's their own fault. I mean not all teens are like that, there are some who have cool parents who let them do what they want and plus only reason I think they are out on their own is cause probaly their parents are probably like mine so maybe I should go out on my own if I have to. I just don't understand why my parents are like that. I know what they are doing think is gonna make me happy but it's not. I basically need help fighting for my independence and ways to convince them to let me have my god damn mohawk LOL. Sorry but I seriously want them to let me live my life my way. I'm already sixteen and I wanna live my life to the fullest and while I'm still young.
You will have plenty of time to live your life your way when you turn 18 and move out.
It seems to me this is not only a respect issue but a maturity issue. If you say it will be your parents fault if you turn out like the kids on the street because they are trying to do what they believe--as your parents with a lot more life experience than you--is the best option for you right now then you are blaming them for your actions and that isn't a sign of maturity. Parents who allow their kids to do whatever they want and don't have expectations not only set their children up to fail they also do them a disservice with lazy parenting.
I was allowed to do what I wanted when I was your age, actually from the time I was 13, but I also respected my parents, didn't give them lip, did what chores I was asked, kept a 4.0 average. I didn't have a curfew but I always told them when I would be home and was usually home half an hour before that. I skipped the mohawk but died my hair rainbow--yes rainbow-- all 7 colors. They allowed me freedoms based on my behavior.
If your style is "emo" then you aren't ready to do your own thing and live your own life. When you are--you don't feel a need to classify yourself.
My daughter is your age and graduated a year early--she will be 17 in a couple of weeks and starting college in the fall. She decorates her room the way she chooses, she pretty much sets her own curfew, she dates, she spends time with her sisters, she works and she does what she is asked at home without lip. We let her dress the way she chooses and do her hair and make up the way she chooses. She has two piercings and a tattoo--that I signed and paid for. BUT she doesn't rebel either and if I had said no--like I did for the 3rd piercing she wouldn't disrespect me by saying "let me live my life while I'm young"
It's a parent's job to protect and advise their children based on the child's behavior. I would try talking to them and letting them know that you will do as you are asked if they will allow you some freedom of expression with your hair and mode of dress. My guess is they will be more receptive to a compromise if it isn't offered with a threat of "I'll just move out"
Okay, so this has been going on for the past few months - my five-year-old sister wakes up, sleepwalkwalks through the house in search of our mom, and cries. She is practically implacable; she does not fall back to sleep easily; she is either unwilling to or incapable of telling me what is wrong. Sometimes, I have to lay in her bed with her in order to get her to fall asleep.
At first, this only happened every once in a while, but now it happens EVERY NIGHT. It's gotten to the point where I wake up the instant I hear footsteps in the hallway. Sometimes, I just avoid falling asleep until she does it, because I know she will and I also know that I become quite irritable when my sleep is disturbed.
So, my question is this this: Is it normal for a five-year-old girl to wake up crying in the middle of the night, every single night? I can understand the occasional nightmare or the midnight bathroom break, but (again) every night?
I'm worried about her, which is bad enough, but I'm also losing hours of sleep over this issue. Any help you can offer would be much appreciated.
It sounds like night terrors. You can google it for indepth information. They usually come about when there is a major change in the child's life. I recommend starting her on a routine schedule and stick to it as it will provide a routine for her and allow her to relax before bed.
A routine like bath at the same time every night, followed by getting ready for bed. Then a story of quiet time in her room and then bed at the same time every night. Children crave and need consistency. It helps them feel safe. I would also talk to her during the day and see if there is anything in her room that scares her in the dark. Try leaving a low burning light on in her room and closing the closet doors. Have her tell you something good she is going to dream about before she goes to sleep like kittens or the beach. A lot of times people dream about the last thing they thought of before falling asleep.
During the day while she is involved in another activity, ask her what she dreams about at night and see if you can get her to tell you. She may not remember but she may talk to you if she is involved in something else.
Don't leave the TV on when she is falling asleep.
I have a bit of a problem and I am not sure how to deal with it. I am 21 and recently discovered my mother is smoking weed. I found a joint and today when I walked in the house it smelt like weed. She is a grown woman and can make decisions, but I am worried that it will turn into worse.
My father was a drinker and druggy and thats how he ultimately died. So I am worried that she will end up the same way to early.
So please tell me if I should just butt out or what I can do about it.
Ask her about it. Sometimes the simplest way is the hardest but also the easiest.
My bet is that she has smoked for many years. I know a lot of people who smoke and don't ever turn into anything else. I worry more about people who drink alcohol than smoke weed. Mainly because I have never seen someone get violent while smoking weed but I have seen a lot of violent drunks.
She will probably be angry when you ask her but tell her your concerns and hear her out. I'm not condoning the behavior but there may be a reason. Perhaps for anxiety and she can't take a valium. Try to get her involved in an activity like mentoring a teen or reading to the kids at the local library. She may just be lonely or she may just like to smoke now and then--either way you won't know until you ask her.
okay im 13 years old and i have a sister who is 16. she has this boyfrined who i dont really like and i think that hes a bad influenece on her. well today she went to NY with him and his dumb self influenced her to get a tongue ring. my sister is dumb for doing it, but shes not supposed to have one. i think the ring is getting infected. i want to tell my mom about it but idont want to be a snitch or cause too much drama. please can someone help me!!!
Tell your mom. If it is infected her getting to a Dr is more important than you being a snitch. When things calm down from the tongue incident talk to your sister, calmly, and explain why you don't like her boyfriend. All the reasons. It will be difficult but don't get upset and don't yell at her. Don't tell her she's stupid. Talk to her like you would want her to talk to you if the situations were reversed.
Talk to your mom about why you don't like her boyfriend. You may have seen a side to him that your mom hasn't and is unaware of and that may tell you if you and mom both see the same things.