Hi everyone, my name is Ediemarie and I am only here to help. I offer this help to anyone who needs objective advice. Don't be too embarrassed or proud to ask me anything. I will answer all questions. If there is something that you just want me to answer, just email me and I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can.
No question is too simple or silly.
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Website: Chattin With Libra Rajani
E-mail: librarajani@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
Occupation: homemaker/writer
Member Since: August 13, 2008
Answers: 206
Last Update: April 22, 2010
Visitors: 14126
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im 15/f
well my dad is an alcoholic and
he drinks from the time he wakes
up until the time he goes to bed.
the only time he doesnt drink is
when he has to go to work. but he
always drinks when he gets home.
he is sick he has hepitis c. its
not the std its one from drinking.
he has anger issues also. but to the
point, my dad use to abuse my mom until
she left because dcf was called. my mom dad me and my sister havent even lived in our new
house for 6 months yet and my dad is going
back to his old ways. he doesnt hitmy mom but
he does verbaly abuse my mom. and thats
worse. but today i got home and my mom
told me that her and my dad got into a fight
but the bad thing was my sisters friends were
over and they had to leave. but any ways their
bathroom doo is like broken. theres a huge crack in it and the outline for the door is broken.
my mom told me she had to go in the bathroom to
get away from him and im guessing he tryed to
break down the door. and im scared to leave
them alone together. i dont realy know what to
do any more. my mom is having truble right now
with money just like everyone else so we cant leave him again. i just dont know what to do.
-Tamera (link)
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Hi Tamera,
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It's heartbreaking. Have you ever heard of Alonon? I hope I'm spelling it correctly, but it is a support group for families of alcoholics. If you get in touch with them, they can probably help you with any information that you need, including what to do and what your family can do regarding your father. I don't know if a shelter is an option for you, but it may be something to think about as well. I hope this gave you some helpful information.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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21/f
Before I start, let me just say that I realize that I am an adult and have the responsibility of taking care of myself. I know that nobody has to help me in any way, and nobody really does. The thing that bothers me is that I feel like my family treats me unfairly in comparison with the way they treated my older sister at my age.
I am currently a junior in college, and have been responsible for paying my own tuition, books, and fees since my very first semester. I've been paying my own rent, bills, grocery, gas, etc (or my portion, with room mates) since I turned eighteen.
When my sister was in college, she had some scholarships, but not full ride. My parents paid the rest of her tuition and bought her books. She did have a job the entire time, but only part-time, and she used it to pay bills, food, and gas, along with her boyfriend (now husband) who had a full time job. She had no rent because my parents bought her a house to live in. They said they bought it for both of us (we went to the same school), but miraculously her boyfriend moved in, and I got kicked out of the picture. Now they're older and have bought the house from my parents. How lucky for them to come by property so easily.
I recently got married in a court house because my family couldn't seem to find the money to have a wedding for me. My sister got married at the same age that I did, and had a very nice wedding.
I'm wondering if I am being unreasonable to say that these things are unfair. Every time I try to express the way I feel to my family, they tell me I'm being unreasonable, and act like I'm hurting them by pointing out the obvious: I've always gotten the shaft. Of course, I'm always willing to step back and let other people be happy at the expense of my own happiness.
After all, I tell myself, "Most people don't get that kind of help from their families anyway." It just hurts that my family DID give that kind of help, they just gave it to my sister instead of me. (link)
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Hi,
I feel for you. There can be a number of reasons for your situation. I am a parent with three sons and our first child got spoiled just the way you say your sister did, but later on his father and I realized that we gave him too much and he didn't appreciate it. We didn't want to do that with the next one and we made him work a little harder for what he wanted. I don't know if your parents feel the same, but it could be possible.
Another reason could be that they don't have the financial means that they had with your sister. Maybe they don't want to admit it to you.
In any case, I'm sure they love you just as much. Try to have another sit down with them and tell them how much this is affecting you. Don't let them end the conversation until they understand where you are coming from. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Hi, ok so i am a 20 year old female, and i just found out im pregnant. i know who the father is. we have been together going on 3 months. i used to love him but dont really love him anymore. we have many issues and just dont seem to work very well anymore. he loves me to death, and i know he does. he wants to be with me and spend his life with me.. but i dont.. and the issue is.. so im pregnant now. but i dont want to stay with him. he wants to move in together.. be there for me and be the father... be involved in everything. and i have no problem with him being involved.. but i dont want to live with him or be with him.. and i dont know how to tell him. i have tried but he doesnt listen.. and there is more.. and bigger issues.... im not from here (the usa) i am from mexico. i always had plans to go back home (mexico) but things always came up and so i wasnt able to go home. and now im pregnant. but i dont want to stay here.. i want to go back home and be with my family and friends..but its so wrong leaving.. because he is the father and he has a right to be in this babies life.. but i dont want to stay in the USA.. and there isnt a way for him to go to mexico.. he says he can.. but i dont want him living with me at my house.. he doesnt speak spansh so wont be able to work... so no way to pay for all his expenses for him and for our child.. i dont know what to do... =/ if i stay here im leaving my family and friends and my life.. and not going to be happy at all.. i dislike it here so much and dont want to be here.. but if i go home (mexico) im taking him away from his child which is wrong so much... i have no idea what to do.... =( (link)
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Hi,
I am sympathetic to your situation and I feel for you. You have to have a heart to heart with him and tell him the truth. You have to make him understand how you feel and why you feel that way. Tell him the same thing you wrote in your letter.
There are plenty of ways for him to stay in your child's life. You can work anything out if you want it bad enough.
The only thing I'm not sure of is his rights to visitation if you leave the U.S. Things could get tricky. Make sure you check into that.
If you don't do what makes you happy, you are going to regret it and make yourself miserable. You have to think about your child as well. I hope this helped you.
I wish you good luck,
Ediemarie
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he like beat me up, and my mom is mad at me cause its my fault according to her, and now she like hates me and told me she wishes she would have had an abortion instead of having me, and that she hates me and etc.
what do i do? (link)
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Hi,
I think that's awful. I really don't know what to say to that except it seems like your whole family needs some family counseling.
Your mother must be going through something for her to say that to you. I'm sure she probably doesn't mean that. She's probably frustrated with the situation. A lot of mothers say that when they are extremely angry. Have you tried to talk to her about how much she is hurting you? I hope I helped.
I wish you the best of luck,
Ediemarie
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i am starting to worry that my moms boy friend thinks that i am a bitch. i heard him one time curse at me. so i dont know why. i dont feel like i ever have to do anything to please him. he doesnt pay our rent or buy us food. (link)
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Hi,
First of all don't ask him any questions before you talk to your mom. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate him talking to her daughter like that.
I don't know how old you are, but I think you should let her handle it. It might be too much for you. Tell her exactly how you feel.
You are right. You are not responsible for pleasing him, only giving him respect because he is your mom's boyfriend. However, if he is not respecting you, that's another story. Respect is earned. Tell your mom. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
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Im 15/f if it helps....
when i was little my Dad moved far away and iv always had problems dealing with it but lately its been worse I havent been sleeping at all, all i ever wanna do is hide but this morning i signed onto Yahoo and there was a message from him that he will be having another kid in the spring, i dont know how to deal with it, he also says he might only have 6 years to left and i dont think i can handle this on my own i need help. (link)
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Hi,
because you can't sleep and you feel as if you want to hide all of the time, you are probably going through some type of anxiety about your dad. It's normal considering your situation. The fact that he's having another child probably has you feeling a little jealous and jaded since you didn't spend a good majority of your childhood with him, also normal.
I'm sorry to hear that he may not have much time left. YOu should try to mend your relationship with him. The fact that he reached out to you shows that he cares and is making the first move. Have you talked to him or anyone about the way you feel? What about your mom or a counselor? Maybe he doesn't know how his absence has affected you. You don't want to shut him out and later regret it. Give him a chance to explain his side of it. Maybe you can find a way to visit him so the two of you can spend some quality time together. I hope it works out for the two of you.
Good luck,
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My mum suffured from cancer a few years ago. Now she has mrsa which comes and goes pretty ofter but when its here she takes out all her anger on me *Not physically* but i reli can't cope any more, i'm stressing out with school and when i come home i just get moaned and shouted at and i just wanna leave again, I'm only 16 and i know everyone says well she can't help it, but still i reli can't handle this anymore. even when i'm out with my friends now i'm not my usual self and all i can think is i don't want to go home. My dad is the only person who is helping me through this right now. I cry just about every night and i don't no what to do anymore, between school life and home life nothings going right for me anymore. has anyone got any ideas or been in this kind of situation before, advice is greatly appreciated x (link)
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Hi,
I have been in this situation and so have other people that I have known. My grandmother had cancer, but she didn't survive. That was over ten years ago.
It is a lot of hard work taking care of someone who is that sick. YOur friends are right when they say she can't help it. She feels miserable and she only wishes that she could have her life back to the way it was.
She feels guilty because she can't take care of herself and has to rely on other people especially her 16 year old daughter. She's supposed to be taking care of you. This probably makes her feel miserable. Every time she sees you, she is reminded of this. She doesn't mean it. You are lucky you and your father can support each other through this trying time.
The best thing I can tell you is to try and take some time out for yourself and have a good time. Make your time just that. I know it sounds easier said than done, but you have to do it. YOu have to find some time to be happy.
Also try and talk to a counselor maybe. A lot of centers have support groups for families in your situation. It really helps to talk to other people who are in similiar situations. It helps you to understand better and when you are done, you can go home to your mother with a better spirit.
It really works. Just give it a try. I know you love your mum very much. YOu are perfectly normal to feel the way you do. I hope I helped you some.
Good luck to you and your family.
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I can't stand it! someone please help....... i can't stand it! i have bdp and it is ruining my life! therapy isn't helping and there aren't really any medications out there for me! i need someone who understands what it is and help me through! my chest contracts and hurts so much i feel i want to rip or burn my hair or just mutilate myself in anyway because of shame or humiliation! yesterday i was on the phone with a friend and she was talking strangely and i didn't realize what was going on until she closed! her mum was on the phone listening in "to say hi" and when i picked up i said hi there fartsi! i miss you! did you see that crappy episode of...! she acted all strange! and already her mum thinks i am ruining her daughter! (I'M NOT!) so after that i collapsed and couldn't look into the face of anyone and just disliked them all! help meee! (link)
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Hi,
I have to say that when I read your question, I didn't know what bdp was and I looked it up on the internet and found a website with some very helpful information. If you read it, it can explain things much better than I can. I feel for you and your disorder. No one deserves to have that.
After reading it I found that although it can be difficult to treat, there is hope and you shouldn't give up. Pleas don't.
After you read it, go to all the people that you care about an explain to them about your condition. I'm sure they will be there to support you. YOu might want to try printing up the information after you read the information on the website so they can have a better understanding.
I wish you nothing but the best and hope you are on a road to recovery. Keep your chin up!
Good luck to you.
Here is that website I was telling you about.
RevolutionHealth.com
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I'm 17 years old and was adopted a little over 10 years ago by people I love very much. I can't help but wonder, though, about my real family. I have so many questions I want to ask them and I just want to know who they are. I'm not necessarily looking for a relationship - I don't think I could ever even consider calling them mom or dad, but I just have so many thoughts going on.
I'm afraid of hurting my parents - my adopted parents, that is. I don't want to tell them that I want to search for my birth parents because I don't want to upset them. I'm happy that they adopted me and even though we don't always get along, I know I have a better life here than I would have.
Would I be hurting my parents too much if I tell them I want to search for my birth parents? Should I just give up and try to forget about it?
I don't know what I'd say if I found my biological parents, I just feel like it's something I need to do, but I don't want to hurt my mom or dad.
HELP?! (link)
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Hi ,
I t hink that if you don't tell your adoptive parents about your desire to find your biological parents you will regret it for the rest of your life.
I'm sure that your biological parents love you very much and want the best for you. They would understand your natural curiosity. It's perfectly natural at your age.
They have probably been waiting for the day that you tell them that you want to look your biologial parents up. Have a little more faith in them.
Have a discussion with them and tell them what you want to do. They know you love them and I'm sure they will support you.
Good luck with your search!
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Jason is eighteen and my favorite brother. He dropped out of school and got a job at Burger King. He'd been working there for a little over a year when he realised it wasn't the job he wanted. He has his GED but now its to late to go back to school. Soon after realising that he gave up. On Life. Then one night the cash register wasnt working and he punched it and completely broke it. Now he owes BK 2,500 dollars and had a warrant for his arrest and his court coming up. Well everyone thought if he got a ob before court he would have a chance of paying... but He told my Mom he wants to go to jail.
Jasons been my everything, and I would do anything for him. Im planning on telling him Ill give him 500 to get a job but I dont want him going to jail because my Mom will kick him out.. and he'll have no place to live and Ill be on shit with my Mom bcause ill kill her.
But why does he want this for himself.. I love him and Im not willing to let this happen. What else can I do? (link)
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Hi,
first of all it is never too late to go back to school. You say he is 18. That's when most are starting college. All he would have to do is apply there or any other trade school and he would be on his way.
However, he has to figure out what he wants to do with his life and he is the only one who can do that for himself. He sounds like he has some anger issues. He should probably talk to someone before he does something he can't get himself out of.
If you love him the way you say you do you will tell him this because you only want the best for him. YOu have to show him some tough love. YOu can't keep feeling sorry for him, you'll only hurt him in the long run.
Good luck,
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