HEY EVERYONE, I'M KAT!
and i'm here to help :)
i love to give advice, and i've been told that i give some good advice, aswell.
i'm very dedicated once i get involved in someone's problems, and i'll probably make sure you're okay, and that my answer has been sufficent.
i don't 'sugarcoat' my answers, as just about every columnist on this site complains about, but i do present everything in a way that people will be able to handle, and relate to in their situation.
i could honestly care less about ratings, i just wanna help some people out. in my problems, current and past, i seek help through my friends, who i adore.
i'm a huge my chemical romance fan, and i know pretty much everything about them; so if you have a question on them, i'm here. go for it. ;)
i'm unique in my own way, so ask me for something, and i'll give you a fairly different answer.
XOXO
KAT!
Website: MYSPACE
E-mail: ohshnitzelstix@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: PENNSYLVANIA
Occupation: PSYCOLOGY
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Member Since: August 8, 2006
Answers: 380
Last Update: June 21, 2009
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askkatie
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okay so to start of im 17 years old female. anyway im 17 and i have been for the last 5months my mom will not let me do anything and im so sick of it i had to come in at 10:30 pm like im a baby or something its friday night and all of my friends are out drinking but no i have to be home by 10:30 i cant go out to partys and drink because i drive i cant even stay out past 11 on the weekends im going insane..!! some one please help (link)
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Hey,
As much as you may not like the answer I'm giving you, your mom is not 'babying you' or anything. You may think you're old, but you're ONLY seventeen. Technically, your mom's got legal custody of you until you're at least eighteen, so what she's saying is true.
I can see why she's not letting you go out and drink. You're seventeen. What's the drinking age, like twenty one? (That's what it is, here). I'm sorry, but you're four years shy of that. If she were to be caught allowing you to do that kind of thing, she could get in major trouble, regardless of what all of your friends can do.
She's trying to take care of you, because if she were the kind of mom to let you to out and drink and drive, she'd just be a plain bad mom. This is coming from a fourteen year old, so it should be obvious to you, but you'll understand when you have kids of your own, that rules need to be placed so that things don't get messed up.
The reason you can't stay out past 11 is probably because a)there's a curfew or b)anything could be going on at that time of night.
Think of it this way, if you're doing all that stuff at this age, nothing will be special when you actually become old enough to do all of this.
Seriously, she's just trying to protect you.
If you're really bored, see if some of your friends can take a break from their ever-so-important drinking, and hang out at your house, so that your mom will let you hang out.
I wouldn't reccomend trying to sneak around, though. That could just get you on even more strict limits.
I'm sorry if you don't like my answers, but really think about what I've said, please.
XOXO
KAT!
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sumtimes i just feel like crying b-cuz i had this bff and she was the coolest but then after waterfront we got n trouble n werent allowed to hang but still saw eachh a lot and hung out at sj=kool but that it and i asked my mo if i could sleepover her house this weekend and she flat out sed no and it makes me really sad to no that i cannt hang out with my best friend and i just cry about it sumthimes and i told me mom but she wont change her mind and i jusy want to run away and please dont answer this DONT RUN AWAY cuz i dont want to her that (link)
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Honestly, I've kinda had this problem, before. See if you can have someone else sleepover, so your mom can see your'e responsible. Then, have a sleepover with a few girls and your friend. Make sure your friend is VERY VERY polite, and helpful and everything. Maybe even have your friend write an apology note for whatever it was that you and her did, and have you parents talk. Adults usually can work things out pretty well.
Hopefully this works. After having her over with a bunch of other girls, maybe your mom will let her stay at your house, one on one.
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its so fucking annoying. this entire year so far i've probably missed the bus about 15 times. and now my mom is fed up with driving me to school (my dad used to do it but he leaves for work very early now) so she makes me stay home. this is the 2nd time i have to stay home.. idk im so fucking disorganized with everything. after tidying my room (which will take me like 1-3 days to do.. cuz i get distracted) it just gets messy during the week and then i go through the same brutal weekend ritual of cleaning it and then it just gets messy later. i dunno why my mom obsesses over that. i wanna clean it when i want to. but honestly i dont give a damn what it looks like unless visitors or something are there. i can find things in the mess too. nothings wrong with it being neat but its hard to maintain it. same with the bus.. well not really but all the time it happens.. this is the 2nd time this week iv'e missed it and im so mad because today was hat day and i had this cute had i wanted to wear. ive done everything else.. i took a shortcut to a diff bus stop in a diff neighborhood twice when i missed my regular one till my bus driver told me not to do that anymore or she'll like call the police or something. once i went with my aunt and lied my mom wasnt home because i knew she'd make me stay home all day. i got in alot of trouble for that.. and another time i went with my friend's nanny who i hardly knew.. i knew i could have gotten murdered but she doesnt seem the type and she's seen me go to school with her well the girl she babysits since like elementary school (im a 7th grade now. a girl by the way). but if i told my parents they'd kill me. not that i'd do that again. but seriously.. i've done everything.. i even considered walking like.. 5 miles to get to my school... or ride my bike.. even though it goes through like a highway and like a woody area and like 2 train tracks. i even considered going on the 5th and 6th graders bus but then i thought that i may not be able to do that either. this reaaaaally sucks. and now my mom wants me to clean my room.. maybe she'll drop me at school then? probably not. IM SO FUCKING ANNOYED. I dont even usually curse but now i feel like cursing every second. its already 11am and school started at 9. and the school called and asked where i was or something and i said i was absent cause i missed the bus and nobody would drop me. i didnt add the fact that my mom was home and she also had a car. well she isnt home now. shes out. im not even supposed to be online or watch tv or listen to the radio. just clean my room. im about to wash my clothes.. but seriously how can i fix all of this? im extremely extremely pissed off. (link)
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Well, definitely don't try to get a ride with anyone you don't know; if you talk it over wiht your parents, your aunt may be able to take you..
My advice is, since school starts at nine, which is pretty late compared to high school and stuff, try to pick your clothes out the night before, and take your showers at night. That way, you wont have to waste time with the apperance things; plus hair is so much easier to straighten and stuff from the night before shower, in my opinion, haha. Also, try to just pick things up you've left sprawled out throughout the day, that way, you wont have a gigantic mess throughout the week, taking something a small bit at a time is so much easier than taking something in one huge mass at once.
Those two things should make things easier; you might even get a little more sleep time. I'm not sure what time you have to get to your busstop, but get yourself ready so that you're ready to leave at least 10 minutes before the bus gets there; it provides transportation time and extra time, just in case.
Hope this has helped; GOOD LUCK!!!!
Kat!
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well okay on thursday night my mom picked my sister and i up from my gradmas house at 1am, even though so was supposed to pick us up around 8:30. she was so drunk, and i was scared to get in the car. my sisters 7 and was asleep so i carried her outside with me. i get in the car and my mom goes crazy for NO REASON! she's being so mean, and i asked her why are you doing this to yourself? and she called me names. we got out of the car when we were home and i was on the phone with my gram and she hit me in the face and tried to get my cell phone, but i ran down street until she got inside, then i went in and ran up in my dads room (the attick.) he has a lock in the inside that i locked it. and sooo, she comes upstairs and trys to open in and calls me EVERYTHING in the world. a cunt, she hopes i was never born, ALL FOR NOTHING! as i was on the phone with my gram she heres everything. my dad comes home from work bout 1:45 and my moms passed out in her room and my sister is forced to sleep with her. she hurt me sooo badly, and i got no sorry. i wanna move out more then anything in the world. since then we haven't even talked. even before this TERRIBLE DRUNK DISASTER she was always so rude and treated me so much different then my sister. i don't like her, and i need help. sorry this is longg. (link)
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If this becomes a constant thing, you need to get someone to talk to. Try to get your Gram, who was on the phone when this all happened, to talk to someone. Prefferably your dad, first, because he would be able to talk to her.
If your dad and gram don't listen for some reason, talk to a school counsiler, and they will handle things, just make sure you've got a relative or friend to stay with if things go wrong.
Good luck
Kat
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I was always against abortion. I am 16 years old and pregnant. I have a boyfriend for 5 monghs now and we never had sex. The problem is that on a night out with a friend of mine "girl" I got raped. Somebody must have sleeped me that ruffy cause I do not remember anything and woke up the next day feeling like my head is going to explode. That happen over 45 days ago.
My parents now, we told them its my boyfriends and it is my fault cuase my parents have been through a lot and I really dont want them to know. I consider myself mature enough to battle with my own problems and mistakes. I consider it to be my fault since I was not carefull enough. Plus, them knowing would change a lot.
I definately do not want to keep that baby, I definately am not ready to become a mother especially on such an occasion and already too many people know. My parents want me to keep it even though we are not wealthy at all.
I know that after 3 months you can now longer have an abortion so I am running out of time. How do I convince my parents to let me do it? And...if they dont allow me to, I ll do it myself. What could change then? How will I be able to make them, accept my choice. My boyfriend has been really understanding with the hole situation and really helpfull. He is the one willing to give the money for such an...act.
I am ready to do anything it takes not to have that baby, If I have to punch myself in the stomach, I ll do it.
People from my church also know. They will never take me back after such a thing. My boyfriend sais he could move far away with me were we will work and go to school at the same time. (link)
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You may not like this answer, and I may not be paying attention to the major question, but if your boyfriend's willing to spend money to move away and all, you should be okay to take care of the baby.. This is a very difficult situation... and it all depends on your morals, but do not, I repeat do NOT try punching yourself or anything like that. Also, if a bunch of people already know, you shouldn't worry about your reputation i bring pregnant...
All I'm saying, is to think this over..
Kat
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my parents are so retarded. they let me go out with people they don't know like super incredibly well some days and then others I'm not allowed to go anywhere with them. how can I get them to trust me and let me go out with my friends? (link)
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well, make sure you help out around the house, dont' get cockey, ect. Be really kind, helpful, ect. Also, get your parents to meet these friends of yours, and let them be the judge then. Also, get your parents to talk to yourfriends parents over the phone or something, this will help them see how the kid was raised, and.. well just believe me, it will really help.
good luck!
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Me and my cousin has this "friendship" going on ..she told me that she was full in love with a guy that I happen to know because he was my neighbour back in the days..I DON'T LIKE THE GUY!!!!! he is a player for far as I know him ...I tried to tell her but she is blind ,she even slept with him many times ...Yesterday my sister told me he was trying to hit on another cousin of us
How do I tell my cousin this ?
Is there a gentle way to tell her ..or should I never ever tell her and let her findout herself ...doesn't that make me a bad friend/cousin?
(link)
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I think you should straight out come out and tell her.She really needs to know, before she gets hurt.
Sit her down, maybe even make a joke out of it, but make sure she gets it and knows what kinda guy he is.
Good luck!
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i need advice on moving back with my mom.. i cant take this anymore.. i need answers from people with ideas of excaping my parents ..im not trying to say anything bad.. but i am really depressed unless im with my mom again!!!!! i know this sounds kind of bad because i want to get rid of these people in my life.. but let me explain:
they made me get adopted to them 3 years ago when i was 12..ive been on hold with my life ever since..so i need help..major help!! i dont want any answr about trying to get along with my adopted female and male guardian....i just want to know if there is any way to excape...without being in trouble...if there is no way you can help.. my life is totally ruined...i rather be dead than to live with these people..just saying.. I CAN"T TAKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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First off, talk to them about this. Write a note, at least if you can't do the talking part, or if they wont let you get your word in.
Suggest that they talk to your real mom about the situation. Maybe you could go to a court to get her custody?? I know that's what you'd do in a divorce situation, andyou're almost old enough to be choosing anyways.
Please, if this dosen't work out, though, realize that you're almost at the age to be moving out anyway, so you can choose to live with your mom or not. (almostt)
Make sure you at least talk to your mom as often as possible if this dosen't work, it will help!!
Write my email if you need anything!!
xo_graziano_ox@hotmail.com
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I babysit my cousins who all love attention. Theres three of them and it's hard to give them all attention. What can I do to keep them busy while paying attention to all of them? (link)
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Try little games that you can all play together.
Maybe something like duck, duck goose...tag.. hide and seek..
things that involve groups.
Maybe arrange a little play that they all get a part in??
Good luck!!
Maybe even have friends over who can help you with giving attention lol.
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OH MY GOSH, SHE IS SUCH A SNOOP. I HATE IT AND I CAN'T STAND HER! SHE SHOULD REALLY GET A LIFE AND LEAVE ME ALONE! SHE'S SUCH A B*TCH. I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE! SHE HAS EMBARASSED ME AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I WANT TO RUN AWAY! I'M JUST SOOOOOO UPSET.she has got to read everything that i do/write. and i told her not to go on there, she logs on. and i can't change my password because she'll have a fit. help? i can't take it anymore
(link)
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I'm assuming I know who you're talking about.. so I'll just write towards who i think it is.
I would say you should earn her trust. I've had this problem. Do NOT run away though, you'll most likely be found and things get worse.
Make sure you dont' do an ything bad for a while. Earn her trust by doing this.
Email me if you need anything. Or go to my advice website
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I hat my mom.She wants me to get new friends because she thinks that all of my friends are horrible (ugh i HATE her)so I wanted to go somewhere with A friend and she won't let me go b/c there is gonna be drinking but i see it all the time...even my dad drinks she is so stupid she alwayts thinks that she is making the Best disision.So my question here is how can i get her to let me go places???? (link)
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Well, I actaully think your mom is right in the drinking situation, ect.
At least she knows what's going on with your dad, and shes' there to help ((assuming they live together)). YOu may see it all the time, but if you're at a friends house, she's not there to control it, and she actulaly IS making this desicion for you.
The way to let her let you go places, though, is to earn her trust. YOu can't earn that, though, if you're doing things you shouldn't be doing.
Maybe suggest to your friends to hang out in places without alchohol//drugs//ect.?
Good luck, anyway!!
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My mom won't let me date till I'm 18 whicu basically is never cause once I'm 18 I can date anyways so its never I want to tell her 13 is a good age but I'm too scared of a NO and I just need advice on how to tell her and what I should tell her like reasons point and ideas please help I do not want to get my first bf and 30 or my first kiss at 28 please help me...
(link)
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Explain to your mom that you would make sure you're responsable, and that you wouldn't go against her rules if she let you date.
Maybe try writing out all the reasons and giving them to her on a card, that way, you'll get you word in, and she can see all of the good reasons right before her eyes.
There are no experiances, neither good or bad, if you do go out and live life.
Take a crack at that for her,l ol.
Good luck, Write if you need anything!
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my mom married my stepdaddy a couple of months of go and i told my friends about it at school and now everybody at school is making fun of me becouse my mom married a black guy iam not racist and i don't see what's wrong with a white person marrying a black guys it's just the color of your skin and we can't help it god made us that way,but how can I make my friends see it that way? (link)
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You shouldn't back down and make excuses, just tell them that the color of your skin dosen't matter at all, it's the person inside that skin that does. And you're right, there is nothing wrong with that.
Make sure you're strong when you stand up to them, don't let them judge someone for a really dumb reason.
Good luck, Write me if you need anything at all!!
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My 17 year old sister is gone to bootcamp. She wont get out till January 17th 2007. I'm only allowed to see her 2 times between now and then. She is also allowed 1 phone call a week for a max of 5 minutes. Oh My God I'm so freakin' sad cuz we were so close and the day she left, when it came time to tell me bye, she went hysterical crying, that didnt make it any easier when I was trying with everything I had to suck it up and not cry. We were told to write her as much as possible but after 3 letters, I'm getting stumped, Ive already went on and on about how proud I was of her and told her things that were going on in my life, but I'm not that interesting lol so there's only so much I can say about that. I need help on topics to talk about in the letters, or what to discuss to keep her in on the latest news and stuff (She lovesssss music) I dunno... Any Ideas are much appreciated and I will certainly rate and give feedback for your time. (link)
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aw, I'm sorry about your sister going away. Maybe talk about old memories, or regular old things going on in life. Ask her about how she's doing, and what she's intersted in at boot camp.
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