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so long story short, i got into a bit of trouble recently. and my dad doesn't trust me anymore. he says i have to earn it back, since he can't take my word for anything anymore.
i was wondering if anyone would have any thoughts on what i could do?
i'm 17/f, and i can't drive. if that helps any. (link)
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Be patient. You are going to have to earn it back and there is no quick and easy way to do that. The best way is to just be sensible about this. Don't demand anything. If you want to go out ask nicely, see if he will consider it, tell him who you are going with, where, give a time range. Its things like this that will show him you are trying and will help earn the trust back. Also talk to him about stuff. School. Friends. Whatever topic.
One step at a time. Be responsible. Don't give him any other reasons not to trust you. All this will take is time and some sensible actions on your half.
Goodluck!
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So I'm 15, and pregnant. My mom says I can't keep the baby. She wants me to get an abortion, and at the most an adoption. But I couldn't bring myself to do either. She doesn't want me to keep it! What can I do?
I know it will be hard, and I don't have a job, but before it is born I will be old enough to get a job, and so will my very supporting boyfriend. It's tough, but I have supporting friends, a supporting family, and a supporting boyfriend. But she doesn't want me to have it :( what can I do? What can I tell her? (link)
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You know whats difficult about answering a question like this? Its hard not to give your own personal opinion in the answer. So I am going to try and keep this answer as neutral as possible because ultimately this is your decision.
As I am sure you are aware of now, your mother can not force you to have an abortion. Adoption is also up to you. You do not have to give this baby away if you do not want to. But...
What I want to suggest is talking to someone,(a professional) before you make this decision. You are 15 believe it or not, you do not know everything at that age and you may not really know what is best for you. This situation is extremely hard no matter what you decide.
Talking to someone will help, really even if its the school councilor. I suggest talking to your mom about seeing someone professional to discuss this situation with. They can help you make the right informed decision and they can help you with your mom.
People are going to offer you many opinions in this scenario. What you need to do is listen to the opinions which give you facts and knowledge about what you are about to go through. Also take into consideration that what may have happened to someone else will not necessarily happen to you. You are your own person.
Also your boyfriend I suggest he speak to someone too. He may not know everything about what he should know.
You need to sit down and make an informed decision about this. Remember this is not something small, you have to consider how this will affect you, your boyfriend, your family and the baby. This is something you discuss with someone who knows what needs to be known and considered for a situation such as this.
Good luck.I wish you the best.
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19/f
I am 19 and my parents dont really allow me to do much. I feel like a child. My friends all make fun of me for being under such close watch and not being allowed to go places and do things like most 19 or 18 year old do, because i always have to ask my parents and hope that they will permit me to do something... I have no freedom. I've fairly recently gotten in trouble for trying to go out, because I said so, and I was like... its time to stop being controlled by my parents and get out and have some fun.
I had to deceive my parents so that i could do what i wanted to do. I couldn even leave the house without my mom looking out the door to see who was picking me up and to see if they were there yet...etc.... I didnt know my mom was going to follow me to the door, so that foiled my plan. I was going to walk up the road, but my mom was like "no, tell your friend to come pull up infront of the door". And then she saw that it was a male friend and not the female friend i told her it was. I got in a lot of trouble and got yelled at and lectured.. Now my parents say they dont trust me and i cant go anywhere or do anyyything. My friends say "you're 19, you can do what you want....etc."..
I want to know if it would be f***ed up or not if I were to just slip out the house and move one day and not tell my parents anything until I get there. I want to live with a certain guy, but, i mean, when i am ready to move in with him and when i'm sure thats what i want to do. And I will call my parents from my new residence, or better yet text them and be like "umm.... yeah.... i moved..."
They dont even want me meeting with this guy. They dont want me to meet with no guy or do anything. And I am so tired of my parents! I need to get away from them! I'm not going to even bother with introducing them to the guy, because they wont want me with him cuz he's 22 and i told my mom a little bit about him and she's like "you dont need to be with him. you dont need to be with anybody. You need to focus on school and focus on gettin yourself together first (work on myself in terms of anxiety problems etc.)" They just want to keep me as their boyfriend-less child for as long as they possibly can.
And I dont want to bother with telling them i plan on moving out. So do you think it would be messed up if i just moved out, and in with this guy, and just told them about it after the fact? Just so they know what happened to me.. and that way they cant do anything about it (link)
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Here's the thing, you know how your parents are likely to react because well you are their child and have lived with them, so you know how they would react to you just leaving and then calling. So with that said if you think you can handle their reaction then go for it. But before you do anything,
have you considered how you are going to support yourself if you move out? and if moving out and with this guy will be the best for you?
I think away around this may be to talk to your parents, about how you are feeling, tell them they have to give you more freedom because its this lack of freedom that makes you want to do things against their will.
Oh and a drivers license! Those bring great freedom!
Goodluck! I really hope it all works out.
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im so stressed out, first off. last year i went through extreme depression, and i got grounded, so i was captive in my house. if anyone has been depressed, when youcant do anything its hell. This year, i am better.. but, my mom all the sudden has been up my ass. She doesnt let me go out, do anything, where ever i go she wants to talk to parents, drop me off, i cant drive.. im 17. All my friends go out, her best friends kids go out, im very mature for my age... and my boyfriend goes to parties, and hes 18 and i dont wanna hold him back i mean hes allowed to, but my mom is nuts, it makes me depressed, wanna fuckin do shit to myself when im upset sitting home everyone is out. I dont get it either, my brother went out at 17 had parties at my house... im very mature for my age, have college friends, i have 2 jobs, i have 90 grades. i do everything for myself pay for everything.. what should i do? (link)
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Talk to your mom. Calmly. I stress that! Make sure you don't do it in a confronting fashion. Just sit down with her and tell her how you are feeling and tell her you would like to know why she is being like this. Try and come to some compromise.
Just talk to her.
Good luck!
:)
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i am very shy around my dad and stepmother. i'm not really sure why. we see each other a lot, i mean at least five or six times a week. my dad teaches me to drive, takes me to movies and dinner, etc. my stepmom takes me shopping and to the salon. we do things as a group, too. we're really close.
but for some reason, i'm never completely myself around them. depending on my mood, i might talk freely or keep to myself. i don't understand why i do this. i notice it happens more frequently when i'm with both my dad and my stepmom, or just my stepmom. so i'm kind of guessing it has more to do with her.
i also have anxiety when i realize that i'm being too shy. i'll give them one word answers and then think, "oh god, why am i doing this?" and then i feel like crying and i ask them to drop me off it home. it hurts my feelings because they never call me afterwards to ask if i'm okay, and as a result, the next time i see them, the shyness is even worse.
my stepmom has been around since i was four, and i don't even speak to my birth mother. the weird thing is that it's just them. i am usually not this shy around anyone else. i'm also seventeen years old and i think i'm too old to be feeling this way. please help me; i hate feeling this way. thank you in advance. (link)
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When i'm around my dad, I get so shy! Like sometimes I say about two sentences and i'm quiet for the rest of the time.
I find its because I don't know what to say, and i'm paranoid about saying the wrong thing. Its like the expression walking on egg shells.
The best thing here is just don't stress about it. As teenagers we're in like a completely different world to our parents. All we can do is just relax and be yourself even if you are scared. Also they are probably trying to do whats best for you,taking the cues from you. So the whole not calling to make sure you are ok, is probably because they think you want space.
Also maybe try spend some time with your step mom and get a bit more comfortable with her.It might make things better. Its easier to be comfortable with a step mom when you are younger than when you are older. So don't worry about the age thing!
Goodluck!
:)
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16/f I'm so pissed at my mom right now. She says I have to get a job this summer-which I'm fine with. All the places I wanna work are not really within walking distance. She's like, "you have to get a job you can walk to or else you are paying me for gas." This is so unreasonable because she drives my brother to camp every day. I don't want to have to wake up at the crack of dawn just to walk to work. I just feel like she doesn't give a crap about my safety. All my friends' parents actualy care about them and drive them and don't let them get into dangerous situations and probably wouldn't let them walk every day to a job. My mom makes me walk places by myself that are dangerous where I could be kidnapped or raped. She treats me like I'm nothing. She's like, "you can take the public bus." Whose parents would let them do that?! I feel like she doesn't care about me. Everyone's parents drive them everywhere and she makes me walk everywhere in dangerous places. I'm so freakin pissed. I'm not grown up yet, I'm still a kid. Also, I really don't care what she had to do as a kid. Times are different now. There are more killers and rapists now and our family now has more money and privledges than when she was a kid. I'm so pissed! (link)
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Please try and relax.
I think you need to tell your mom how you are feeling. You need to sit down with her and tell her calmly how you are feeling.
Also if she insists you find a job you can walk to then really try your hardest to find one! It is much safer and will be easier on you.
Again you need to tell your mom how you feel and why you feel like that, so that you can solve this problem.
Communication is the key!
Good luck! I hope this helped.
p.s. you anger is understandable!
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my parents, i love them, btu somteimes they get on my last nerve. when i mean last, i mean last. right now im not doing so well in school, and everytime we get into a fight, that is the first thing they talk about my grades. Sometimes they don't know how stressfull it is nowadays in school, especially how i take an AP class only as a soph. Sometimes i feel like noone understands me. Theyve always been on my case about my grades, and i try to bring them up, but its the pressure i get from them thats making me loose my sanity.Sometimes i think about killing myself, and everytime i do, i get closer and closer. I don't want to, but sometimes i feel like it's the right thing to do. Sometimes i think that by me just leaving, itll make them happier. So they won't be embarresed of me. Idk, i can't talk to them about it cause they think im crazy. My friends don't even bother anymore. Im loosing it... please i need some advice on how to get through this. (link)
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Parents are tricky to please (i would know). The best thing to do right now is to show them that you are trying to improve your marks. You also need to talk to them about being more supportive of you. Now I want to raise a question is there a reason (besides your parents) that you aren't doing so well in school? If there is, this reasons needs to be confronted as well.You say school is stressfull, I cant stress enough how important it is that you go and talk to a teacher or another adult you trust about why school is getting to you so much.
Some times we put a bit too much pressure on ourselves and if we don't talk about our problems it just gets worst. I also think you should concentrate on having a bit of fun and not worry about school as silly as it sounds it helps alot.
Then I can assure you your parents would not be happier if you killed yourself. There is no reason ever to kill yourself. Just by asking for advice you are already on your way to getting through this.
Talk to your friends, your true friends will stick with you and help you. And again please talk to a teacher or another adult.
I wish you all the luck, and know you can certainly get through this.
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