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Q: My husband is in the military and after 13 years he is separating due to medical reasons. He wants to move back to our hometown to be near both of our families, primarily his mother and aunt. Well, I am hesitate. I didn't have the best childhood due to both of my parents being alcoholics. They both still drink heavily and can get violent and emotional when doing so. My oldest brother still lives in the area and drinks excessively as well. To top it off, my sister-in-law and her husband live about an hour away and love to drink and party and are somewhat open swingers. Their sexually active 15 year old daughter is free to do as she pleases and their 12 year old son is often left on his own. While I respect my husband for wanting to be near his mother and his disabled aunt, I am having a hard time dealing with the fact of being near the rest of our family. While it would be nice to be near family, this is not the situation I have envisioned. I don't want our children thinking drinking excessively and having multiple partners is okay. Should I accept the fact we are moving back and deal with the situation as it comes or continue trying to talk my husband into moving somewhere else?

this is soo great that i got this question because i went through this same thing....

so you could go both ways with this. talk him into leaving on you guys own being adults and just relying on each other. But sometimes things happen for a reason maybe your going back there to talk some smart into that little girl head or into her parents even if its not your place you still have a voice put it to work. the drinking part.. where you will be living tell them " i dont want alcoholic beverages brought to my home" and if you drink tell them you will bring alcohol if you want to drink that day... tell them dont come over wasted when you are trying to have a serious talk but dont say it how im saying it they might take it as wrong but say it as nice as possible

Q: What would you do in this situation? Both my husband and my brother go on long-term vendettas--some for life whereby they will never speak to someone again. Their vendettas are over things I do not consider to be terribly serious. I dislike confrontation and strive to avoid it and now find myself stuck. My brother gets offended easily, is mad at me over something that I consider minor and has cut me off. I apologized in an email for anything hurtful that may have happened but he never replied. He is executor of our parents' estate and has a fiduciary duty to finalize things but has gone quiet and not finalized the estate 3 weeks ago when he had said he would (before the falling out). If I mention this to my husband, he will want to end relations with my brother. So in a sense, I am acting as a buffer between the two. It's eating away at me. On the one hand, I feel I should let my husband know that my brother is on a vendetta and hasn't finalized our parents' estate; on the other hand, if I tell my husband this, I know he will never forgive my brother and it will be the end of our family relationship.

So the vendetta is basically what your brother have against your husband? maybe your using the word wrong but if its not being used wrongly then you should tell your husband about it because if he finds out on his own he will most likely think you betrayed him because you knew all along and you failed to speak up. If that is to hard make it seem like its something you have to fix tell him you will handle the situation and that you dont want feuding to go on between the two. hopefully this will help you a little if not maybe i read your question wrong

sorry but wish the best

Q: I am stuck between my family and my love.
He is very nice guy but with poor background.
My parents are not allowing me to marry with him.
I love both alot but nervous regarding my family's opinion.

Ok this is not your family choice to make its yours. Look at it this way your family cant tell you whos the right one for you. They are not going to feel the way you feel for a gut ever. This is you choice if you love him then you should stay with him because family is going to always be there but not holding you at night, saying they love as they kiss you, claiming your children and leting them hold there last name. Tell them this if they love you they would except who you love in life but i see if your mans not making a change but if he is and your the only one who see it thats just because others dont want to notice they rather see him as a bad person and thats how they will always see him. Prove them wrong and good luck

Q: I am a 26yr old Female and my baby sister is 21yrs old and this is her second time living with me and i am fed up, she has no visible goals and i now have a 4month old son and my fiance' is ready to move in.She has been back and forth between my house n a friends house and recently got a job but quit after a week.....what do i do ,because when i try to talk to her she always accuses me of not caring about her or not being there for her. i dont want to hurt her so can u please tell me how to handle this????

just tell her shes npw a grown women and its time for her to start to live on here own instead of living off of other people and if she needs help looking for a home then tell her you will be there to help her out with whatever. plus make her know that staying with people once or twice is ok but she cant keep continuing to do that because when you stay with someone so so that you could get back on your feet and when you do its time to be on your own.. well good luck

Q: hey my sister is driving me crazy wat do i do

Well sisters aways mess with you cuz you give them that attention so don't pay any to her when she talks act like she's not there make her feel like she's not there and when she ask for things say no or take a long time to come. So basicly make her feel like every on els don't make her feel special so I hope that helps bye.

Q: My sister is almost 16 and going through this stage where she thinks shes better than everyone, especially me. She's always pushing me around.. and everything she says to me is some sort of comment to bring me down. She mocks me and tells me to shut the f*** up and all this other inappropriate stuff for NO reason. I just ignore her, because its stupid to even bother arguing with someone as immature as her. But sometimes i get so mad, I just want to punch her in the face and put her in her place. I've talked to my parents and they know that she THINKS she's so hot. I cant ignore her any longer, im sick of her thinking she has the right to walk over me. (And my brothers and sisters.) How do I stand up? And dont tell me to sit down and talk to her. You dont understand - this girl will NOT listen that way.

All I can say is don't give her the attention she wants. When she say something realy un-called-for don't say anything back just ack like you didn't hear her ack like you don't care then she will see it don't bother you. Next when she call you take long time to come or tell here to hold don't come as soon cuz then she will feel like she got you like that. When she walks in the house or any room ack like you didn't see her she's not even there. So basicly don't give her what see wants make it clear she just like the others no different k and good luck friend any other ?s jus ask me.......C.L.N bye

Q: Okay so basically my mom is Crazy.

Ever since i was in fifth grade (I'm now 19) Shes just been ridiculous. Every time shes having a horrible day she'll come home and lock everyone out of the house. Its gotten to the point where my older brother will kick down the door.

There was one time when she was mad at me, she came up to me, hit me with shoes and then smeared peanut butter all over and and called the police.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore, i'm at my wits end. She constantly puts me down and says hurtful things all the time. I feel like the reason im so shy is because of how shes acted my whole life.

How do i approach her and let her know how im feeling, with out it turning into a crazy bitch fest? Im sick and tired of everytime i try talking to her in a reasonable tone and having her attack me.

I just dont know what to do someone help me

Hay what's up.
I think before you leave to school or something you should write here a note, leave it somewhere you know she'll look. This will give her the time to think and hopefully its quiet so she can be able to have that calm moment.
The reason why I think this might work is because when you write to people it is a different feel and they don't got the chance to yell at you cuz all there is to do is to read the letter and lesson to what you wrote
So also just let her no in the letter you love her but you want her to change or stop taking things out on you, I think she will understand.
Hope things work out.......Bye

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