8ibah04's advice column | 8ibah04's Advice About Families

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Q: ok. i'm a 17 year old girl and have been dating my current boyfriend for 14 months. My 13 year little sister doesn't like him,.....at all. as in can't stand him! Every time I hang out with him or he comes over, she feels like I'm ignoring her feelings and picking HIM over her and my family. Here's the thing, my sister is the only one in my family (which includes her and 2 little brothers, and my parents) who doesn't like him.....I've tried to split my time between the 2 of them, but she still acts almost jealous anytime a spend time with or talk about my boyfriend...I'm a very family oriented person, so the fact that I can't invite my boyfriend to family parties because my sister dislikes him really hurts me. He's starting to get tired of it, too. He's also family oriented and his family always make me feel like I'm already part of the family. I don't know what else to do. I've talked to her about it, and she just won't see reason......I'm not trying to get her to like him, just tolerate him and not be such a brat whenever he's around or a say something about him.

wow....that was a vent-session and a half....

Any advice?

Well first off Im not saying you have to be mean, but you have to be more assertive. Tell your sister to explain to you why she doesnt like your boyfriend. And if she refuses, tell her that your basically trying to reason with her, and point out to her that you've been the best sister you can be by not allowing him to come over, even if it meant hurting your feelings for her. So the least she could do is explain herself. That should soften her up, from what she explains to you your solution would probably come to you easily.

Q: My mom, jeeze where do i start.
Well, she kind of over reacts its like she worries for me. Example: i'll have like a project do tomorrow and she'll be all like "Do it now." and all concerned and I'll be all calm. Btw, I have a bad case of procrostitnation[sp?] It's not like i never get it done i do and she knows that too. i'm a straight A student and she's still concerned that i wont get it done.
Jeeze, dont get me wrong my moms nice and all and i love her to death. she just drives me crazy sometimes.

I don't know what I'm asking here ,but maybe you can figure it out and help me and what not. Maybe like give me some ways to beat procrostitnation[sp?].

Well the only easier way to beat it is to get the job done. It's that simple, but you should probably start when an assignment or chore orwhatever is given to you, to keep you from having to listen to your mom talk and talk, and to save her the precious time wasted

Q: Sorry a bit long

ok so my Brother has been going out with this girl for over a year now and till this day I havent been able to be friends with her. She acts weird sometimes now Im not saying its all her fault but Ive tried many ways but it just doesnt work out well.
She wont talk to me unless Im the one who talks to her in the first place.. It is sooo hard for me to just start a conversation but I decided to try my hardest in order to talk to her..so I did but it didnt work she only answers what I ask but she doesnt even try to keep the conversation going! When we see each other she wont say Hi unless I say hi. I think she bipolar or something cause like one day she will be all smiles when im around and the next she wont even walk by me.. super rude Sometimes I try to think of the positive side of her but I just cant find a good thing other thatn the fact that my brother is happy. And I feel horrible when I say bad stuff about her but its true..I know its sorta weird that I wanna talk to her but I mean my brother loves her And she makes him happy( or so he says) and I would just love to talk to her. But I dont know wat else to do?? If I wait till she talks to me wow that could never happen but at the same time I think: I already tried my best but wasnt enough
I dont know wat to do plz plz help me

P.S.
please dont say i should ignore her b/c I cant she basically part of my life I see her often N cmon she's my bro's gf
thnx

She might not be talkative, or she might think that you like her or something. Im not going to say you should ignore her, but you sholdnt stress it so much, if you want you should maybe ask your brother why she doesnt talk much? He'll probably say something to her,or inspire her to open up a little more GOOD LUCK!

Q: ok so heres the situation. when i was just a baby my mom and dad got a divorce and my dad quit comin around. so my grandparents pretty much raised me while my mom was workin her butt off all the time. i love my mom but my relationship with my grandparents is much much stronger. well i moved 14 hours away from them about ten years ago and now my grandpa is being put into a nursing home and its tearing my grandma apart. she also is in not so good shape, but she can sstill take care of herself. she's the main reason i wake up every morning. i love my grandma more then anyone in the world. so far she has no great grandchildren and i wanna be the first to give them to em. i want them to be able to atleast see one great grandchild before they (especially my gpa) passes. the problem is i'm only 18 and still in school. i'm with the guy of my dreams and we're planning on getting married. we've been together for 3 years and we really wanna start a family. we both wanna have a baby soon but i dont know if next month is too soon. see next june my boyfriend and i are both moving down there to live with my dad and go to college. so i'll be around my grandparents all the time. i'm just really scared that they might be a little disappointed because im still in school and not married. i dont know what to do!!!!! :(

I really think you should think that over, grandparents are always the onez that would rather see there grandchildren go to college and make something out of themselves before they start a family, they love you for it!

Q: I absolutely love my father, I really do, and he's a great dad and all but... I don't want to live with him any more. He's a slob, he's always moody and he uses his depression as an excuse. He also has a lot of debt and I'm sick of having his weights on my shoulders all the time, you know?

My brother has offered me that if I want to, I can rent a room of his house. I'm thinking of taking this up and possibly bringing a friend with me so it'd be less rent for me to pay 'cause we'd be splitting it. He's a reliable guy, too.

Does this seem like a bad idea? I'm 15 and a half, I'm paid $800 a month from my job, I plan on staying in school and my brother lives close to the school.

I'm just afraid my dad will get upset and stop talking to me.

This iz alot of hardship on a 15 year old, but Im 16 and just last year I wanted to move out because my mother would be a little moody, and things of that sort. But I decided to stay because I wanted to finish skool at my skool, and I wouldnt be able to do that, if I waz going to be in another state with some other family, but your brother lives near your skool, so I think you should first tell your father how you feel, and his reaction to it should determine what you should do

bio

Im 16, and I guess Im into advice columns. I like giving advice, because I like helping others, especially those who may have the same issues they need help on that I have. I'm always looking for advice websites, because, to be honest advice columns are fun! ;)So anyone feel free to ask me a question, and I'll try to get you on a clear road of a solution. Lol