I feel so bad about everything about me. My personality, who I am, my life, my race, I just really don't like who I am. Everytime I make a little mistake i go over it again and again in my mind just telling myself how stupid I am and how everyone's going to remember it. I hope I don't sound complainy, but that's just how it is. Could there be something wrong with me?
No, there isn`t anything wrong with you. There is, however, something wrong with your state of mind. Every single thought determines your outlook on the world and ultimately this leads to how confident and happy you are. Every time you think a negative thought about yourself or your actions, your self-confidence takes a hit. Meaning each negative thought makes you more insecure. It`s okay though, knowing that you aren`t happy with who you are at least means you are self-aware.
I could write forever about each step you need to take in order to turn your life around, but it all revolves around one thing: your outlook. The perspective you see the world from counts for everything. The most important step in adjusting your outlook is being conscious of your thoughts. Everytime you think something negative you must ALSO think something positive about yourself or your life.
At first you may have difficulty, but after a while you will see that everyone has something special about them, and your life is always 'better' than the life of someone else. You need to appreciate who you are, because if you don`t, no one else will either. I`m not sure your age or gender but that will also influence the advice I am giving you. If you are a teenager you still have many years to mature and learn to love yourself.
Feel free to ask a question (in my inbox) for further information. I can give much more specific advice if you describe a situation which made you dislike yourself or your actions. With that said, knowing your age and gender may also influence my advice. Good luck, and I`d be glad to hear from you in the future! =)
I would suggest you spend an entire day pampering yourself (do everything you love, see your friends and family, relax, take time to think, get a good rest). This will make you more self-aware and put you in the right mindset to start working on appreciating who you are - it`s pretty nice to take a day for yourself, too!
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14/f
I understand if you don't want to read all of this. But I seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
I've always been a very bright student, and I make straight A's.. People depend on me for advice, and they usually become attached to my happy and cheerful personality.
Even though people depend on me emotionally, the truth is that I fake a lot of my facial expressions. (Horrible!!!! My smiles should be from my heart!)
I now LOATHE long car rides, because I think a lot when I'm in a car. Why? because there aren't many distractions. In one of my more recent car rides, I realized that I am mentally unstable.
I realize that I use people to make myself happy. I usually use whomever is more convenient and whomever I can easily part with.
Lately, I've found that I don't have anyone to talk to that is as smart as me! It's really frustrating to be around a bunch of people who I can't really tell everything I think about to. Because if I did, people would think I'm a monster!
I'm very blunt to people, and don't respect elder people. Why should I have to act special around them? It's not MY fault they're old!
I'm an amatuer (not sure how to spell it) author, kids in my class devour my compilations like hyenas to raw meat.
I think my way through everything. Like crying. Lately I've been crying uncontrollably. Gosh, I sound so emo. Little things just set me off. But I think my way out of it after a while....
What is wrong with me, if anything at all? Or is it just that I'm smart (no, I won't get a big head if you tell me that)?
Hey =)
You sound stressed, and this matter certainly isn`t helping. Are you sure you don`t have anyone that smart to talk to? Perhaps the 'elders' with some life experience (maybe a friend`s older brother or sister?) could help you work through some of these problems. Adults, whether they are a few or many years older, can be great role models. Or you could always dicuss your emotions with someone from this website, a counsellor or a friend. Long car rides to think are good for you. As you get older you will change, and become more aware of who you are.
Usually it is the most complicated and difficult times which shape who you are, and most importantly, who you wish to grow into. Why are you crying? Of course hormones and small annoyances will set you off if there is a bigger issue which you are avoiding. Crying is a good way to release your stress and emotions, but sometimes you really need to be strong and wise enough to work through it. I see that you say you know this, but do you really? You need to work at figuring out who you are and want to be. That`s a great metaphor as to how much your peers enjoy your work, but why must you sound so negative about it?
You should congratulate yourself for being intelligent, but not hold it against others. Maybe your lack of respect for elders comes from your own insecurities. Many of the things you said make it sound like you are reassuring yourself that you are smart. Of course you are - you identified a problem and wish to resolve it. As for the straight A`s, just realize that 'book smarts' and 'street smarts' are usually entirely unrelated. Doing well in school is great; however, it takes other types of intelligence to succeed and overcome the challenges you will be faced with. Communication is a valuable asset. You should not only respect adults and your peers, but also, you need to respect yourself.
Why do you enjoy being who you are? What meaning can be found in your writing? How can you improve in every way possible? Are you reaching your full potential? Who do you want to be? These are questions you need to ask yourself. In case you haven`t noticed, I think a long question deserves an equally long, detailed answer. I am only two years older than you, but I have gone through many of these issues in my own life.
No matter who you are, you need to be able to respect the people in your life. Maybe next time instead of using someone else to make you happy you should be committing yourself to doing something on your own, which brings equal or greater satisfaction. Hobbies (such as writing), exercise and other things which you can do alone are great. I`m not sure if you can call it a hobby, but mine is self-improvement. You are in charge of your life, emotions and actions. Use it. If you can work towards a greater understanding of yourself (especially who you want to be), you can achieve anything you want, and overcome any difficulties. I suppose this answer sounds cliche, but once you relate it to your own life (I don`t know you, but I have been there..) it all makes sense in a unique way.
The basis of being happy comes from a few things. Most importantly is health: you need to exercise, eat well and sleep 8-10 hours per night. If you already do this, that`s great! You need to know you are important enough to be healthy and really put effort into this, as it provides the energy you need to move onto more complex issues. The next is confidence. Every challenge you overcome provides reassurance that you are great and able to succeed. Set many goals and pamper yourself - do you like to get dressed up and look great? Well do it often, because you only have one body and you deserve to look your best. Appearance may not count for everything in life, but it can certainly showcase your great (soon to be uncovered) personality , true smile and intelligence. Yes, intelligence can be portrayed through appearance. Dress nicely and you will be confident, which leads to good communication and speech. Once you are feeling and looking great, you will stand tall and realize you won`t let anything bring you down.
In a few years, everything in your life will change. With your grades you can do anything you want, perhaps go to a renowned university and be surrounded by people as intelligent as yourself. You really just need to treat yourself well, set goals and keep your chin up. You have to realize that you can be whoever you want, and that once you are confident your great personality and gorgeous smile will just come naturally. Don`t worry about what other people say, you know yourself best.
I`m not sure what else I can say. You don`t need reasons or excuses as to why you are feeling unhappy. You just need to realize that you only live one life and are entirely in control of it. You deserve, and are capable, of being who you want, and leading the life which interests you most. If you need me to clarify anything I said, or to answer other questions, just ask!
I really do hope this helped, through all of the cliches and things you have (probably) heard a million times, I am sure you will put the important pieces together and know what needs to change in your life. Confidence and achieving your goals will go a long way on your path to feeling better. Good luck!
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I don't know why, but small noises (such as people smacking their lips when they eat, or someone breathing heavily) make me really annoyed. I can't talk to anyone if they are doing something like that, because I can't concentrate. Can someone tell me what's going on??
14/f
Like others have said, you may have OCD, but I think that is a little extreme. Are you stressed or upset? When I get overtired or stressed I find that these things bother me as well. For a week you should try getting 8-10 hours of sleep a night, going for a fast walk/slow jog for 30 minutes a day and eating nutritious food. This should relieve you of everyday stress and you may find that those little things are not a problem for you.
If this does not help, you may have OCD which you can search on google to find out what it is all about. Just type in OCD and you should get the results you are looking for.
Finally, you may want to politely ask the person who is smacking their lips (or any other annoying behaviours) to stop. If there is a person (or people) in particular who are doing this, you may not be annoying by the actions or sounds, but by the person themself. Perhaps you are spending too much time with them and their actions are getting on your nerves. This can happen even if you love the person, barely know them or anything in between.
Also, when you feel yourself getting annoying ask for a moment, and just breathe deeply. Take in a breath, count to four then exhale. This should relieve stress and you will be able to concentrate on the conversation better. Repeat this as many times as necessary.
Something of this should work for you, if not feel free to ask me for alternatives and I will do my best to help you with this.
Good luck :)
- Emilyy
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17/female
I have this sleeping probelm it's like iam always tired even though I go to bed at 9:00pm and wake up about 6:00am in the morning to get ready for school and even though thats about 9 hours of sleep each night and that's how much sleep iam suppose to get and last night I went to bed at 8:00pm and I was still tired all day at school today and I was wondering why i've been so tired lately what should I do?
please help me now thankyou.
Your lack of energy probably has nothing to do with your sleeping habits, 9 hours is right in the middle of the recommended 8-10 so I would not experiment with more/less sleep.
Do you exercise at least 30 minutes a day?
Do you eat fruits and vegetables?
If you answer no or sometimes to either of those then you should work on getting some exercise and eating healthy food. I'm not a doctor, or anything close to it, but you need a balance of nutrition, physical/mental health and sleep to have sufficient energy.
Finally, are you under much pressure? Stress can cause you to waste energy/sleep lightly even if you don't know it. Take a couple of minutes each day to exercise, meditate, read, write, have a bubble bath or any activity which will clear your mind and leave you feeling more relaxed.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask me and I will help as much as I can.
- Emilyy :)
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16/f
okay i don't know what is happening. for the past week or 2 weeks i have been tired all the time. i can never feel awake for some reason and im always yawning. i sleep for about 10-11 hours each night and it doesnt help at all so maybe i'm oversleeping or something im not sure. i dont even usually do much during the day. any ideas for why im so tired all the time?
This happens to me if I don't eat healthy food, exercise and get from 8-10 hours of sleep.
Try jogging during the day (or playing a sport, just some type of exercise) and eating lots of fruits and vegetables. Also go to bed in the early evening (around 10) and getting up around 8 in the morning
If you don't start to get more energy within a week or two I would go to the doctor to make sure there isn't a medical reason why you're so tired.
Good luck! :)
- Emily
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