what can you do when you`re so lost you dont know what you`re doing anymore and want to kill yourself but dont really know which way to do it?
Honestly, I was in the exact same position as you. I wanted to die, but I perservered. So you want to know what you should do? Sit down, take a deep breath, and talk to someone you can trust about it. If it's worse then just something you need to talk through, then go to the doctor or the hospital and they'll be able to help you. Don't think your alone. Just take deep breaths and take days one at a time. I can promise you that it won't feel like things will get better, but they will.
~RF
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I'm really not sure whether I should try smoking pot again. I will absolutely, never, ever become a "pot head" but I'm not completely against doing it once in a while. I'm just a bit torn because my first experience with pot wasn't the best
My first experience with alcohol was fine. I was nervous at first being the sort of uptight, kind of anxious person I am, but it did nothing to me but made me giddy and kind of hyper. No crazy, unexpected feelings. Now, I probably drink, like once a week with friends. I went up to visit my older brother in college one weekend and he told me he wanted me to try smoking pot. I was very, very excited because I'd always wanted to feel what it's like to be high. My brother and his friends who have kind of become potheads showed me the bag of weed and told what "great stuff" it was and how high we would get. Anxiously, I went with my brother into the woods so we could smoke. I took 3 or 4 pretty big hits, we went back inside, and I felt a little lightheaded but nothing else.
Afterwards we went to a party at my brother's friends house and a lot of people were there, all of whom I didn't know. I had a few sips of alcohol but that was it. I was getting really anxious to smoke again. I was GOING to get high that night. We finally went to the back and smoked again. I had 3 HUGE hits. One was so big I almost threw up coughing.
A couple minutes later we went back in and I felt kind of sick, dizzy, and really out of it. Literally as I was telling my brother that I didn't feel good, I was hit with this crazy feeling of not being conscious for a second and not being inside my own body, and everything looked distorted for a second. I started crying hysterically and I was shaking and just felt so uncomfortable. I felt like I was going unconscious every other second.
We left immediately and I cooled down a little. We got back and it was just my brother and me in his room and we ate and listened to music and I laughed hysterically at everything and felt a lot better. I still felt like I was in outer space though, especially in the few minutes my brother's friend came into the room, in which I started feeling very uncomfortable again. So, the second half of my experience being stoned was quite pleasant but still a little freaky.
A few questions: Do you think I smoked too much and was overly high for my first time? Did the fact that this weed was such "good stuff" partly cause my little episode? Did my anxiety attack come from being in a foreign place with strangers? If I smoke again will I feel more comfortable since I know what to expect? Next time should I just try to ingest the smoke with out smoking a joint? or weed brownies? What are ways of preventing freaking out? Are there levels of high or are you just high? Is it normal to feel as out of it as I did just being moderately high?
I NEED closure with this. I will probably smoke again just because of that but I'd love to hear your thoughts. THANK YOU
I used to be a 'stoner', so this comes from experience. I used to smoke alot, and then randomly one day I got a panic attack. It was roughly around what you're describing. I quit for two weeks, then I decided I'd like to try it one more time, and guess what? It happened again. And since then I haven't had any. I mean, sure there's fun moments, but do you really want to risk that feeling again? I would say not to do it. Just remember the fun parts, and live your life without smoking it because really, is it worth it? Hope this helped you in some way. :)
~RF
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