tobealegre9's advice column | tobealegre9's Advice About Love Life

asktobealegre9

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: what are some things (as in flirting) that girls do that guys like? some things that i can do for my boyfriend or do around him..
thanks!

boys like confidence and being acting all cute
my boyfriend loves when i act goofy
and crazy .. it depends on the type of person you are tho if you can do that
another cute thing you can do is sneak up behind him kiss him strongly on the cheek and run away (not like full out run tho)
but what i learned from being with my boyfriend just acting myself is what he loves most and little querks i didnt even thing he'd notice he LOVES

and you know.. guys always love the physical stuff if you know what i mean ;) i dont mean sex or anything but .. yea ahah

Q: 3 of my friends like MY boyfriend and they call him and ask him out all the time. its starting to get on my nerves.
what should i do????

that would drive me INSANE
they aren't very good friends
i would go up to all them individually and be like "alright i've seriously had enough of this you neeed to stop hitting on my boyfriend.. friends don't do this.. maybe your not the good friend i thought you were" i know this may be hard to say especially to a person you think is a good friend .. but this is crappy and you cant allow this to happen any longer

another thing i'd do is talk to my boyfriend and if they call him trying to like ask him out or something have him be like "i'm with *your name* i like her not you i'm sorry but thats the way it is" make sure he isnt like leading them on too cuz if he's really saying NOO. then they probably wouldnt be asking out more times you know..

hope i helped

Q: Okay, this is kind of long and probably confusing...but please try to help.
(17/f)
I've been dating my boyfriend for ten months. I really love him and he means more to me than anything.

Last night my best friend was calling her ex from my cell phone and he thought it was MY boyfriends ex girlfriend, Jenny. So my friend played along and he was talking about something that happened with my boyfriend and jenny and he was asking "her" about it (while it was really my friend). He said that my boyfriend had rubbed all over her boobs and put her hand on his stuff and was just messing around with her a lot on the way back from a football game. Well, I guess she said she couldnt do it because he had a g/f (me? and it would be wrong. I dont know what to do, though, because my bf said he didnt do it and it hurt his feelings that i didnt believe him at first. but then again, why would the other guy lie to the person who was involved in it unless he knew it was us? agghhh i'm so confused. I love him and breaking up is a last resort, I just wish if it happened that he would tell me the truth. ANY help would be SO greatly appreciated. Thanks.

i would go to your friends ex and talk to him about it directly then i'd find out who that girl was and talk to her too and maybe her friends and just see whats up.. but dont let your boyfriend hear that your asking around because then he could find out that your doubting him ;; but seriously the last thing you wanna do is stay in a relationship with a cheating boyfriend

i know you love him but its NOT worth it.

just find out ask around and i hope i helped

Q: okay look i like this guy im 13 hese 16 yes, i kno age diffrence,anyway well a couple of weeks ago i printed out a pic of me and him that waws on my compuuter and he saw it rite and then today he was jokin around wit me and gave me a tatoo well it was a gum and inside it a little tatoo he gave it to me rite as a friend im guessing and then after that in the end of the day i was still holding it i didnt throw it away
just holding it
then i see him pas by and from the corner of his eye he was lookin at the tatoo in my hand and i was like.. sh*t then my friend is with him on the bus and she was like talking to him like i love emily so much! shes soo cute and pretty about me and then he just looked at heer and didnt respond.. do u think its obviouse that i like him? do u think he knows?
thanks

yea i'm pretty sure he knows you like him i would try to play hard to get a little and backoff he got so much hints at once .. like if he walks by just give him a head nod and keep walking tell your friends not to push the idea of you and him anymore its not a good idea you don't wanna like get annoying.. play it cool ;)

Q: okay so
i've been seeing this guy Jacob for about 5 months now .
he lives with his best friend robert.robert and his ex Lucy broke up 2 weeks ago
well Robert is a very jealous person.
Jacob promised robert he wouldnt do anything with lucy. but robert made sure all of his friends didnt do anything with lucy. well jacob and i were kinda official but now we're just like not as serious.

well i know jacobs password for myspace but he thinks i forgot it...anyway, i see a message from lucy saying "i hate how we have to hide our friendship"

he replies
"yah i know it sucks but wait til i move out"

so last week jacob calls me and says, "if anyone calls just say im with you." and i said "okay but why"
he then said, "i'm going to hang out with a few friends and lucy is in the group and i told robert i wouldnt talk to her "

so i was like "okay whatever"

then he texts me the next day @ 6AM saying "goodnight baby.if anyone ask i was with you til 6AM"

so he hasnt called since tuesday so i call him blocked and just see if hes alive

so from tuesday -thursday i call blocked and later on thursday at about 11pm i was with my cousin and he calls and says "i know its you thats calling, give up."
so i denied it and my cousin took the blame.

so friday i was with this my friends cuz they were making fun of jacob and how he got in an accident so i sent jacob a text saying "i'm with my friends right now and the story they're telling me about your last accident is pretty funny"

so like 2 minutes later he calls and bitches at me saying

"how is it funny that i got in an accident"
i told him
"i'm not saying its funny, i'm saying the story i'm listening to is funny, cuz its so different from the one you told me"

well saturday i go on his myspace and read a message to lucy saying

"heyy cutie im at my parents and im just misssin you thinkin that you should be in my arms its like 446 i called you and a older guy answered sayin i had the wrong number i think it was your dad well anyways ill c you on sunday

if i were you i would tell his roommate and screw him.. you don't deserve to be hurt like that ;; cheaters are ASSHOLES 5 months is a long time
and his commitment to his best friends promise is a big deal just tell your friend you didn't hear it from you I'm sure that if you told him he'd be greatful and not screw you over. i wouldn't even talk to him about it just STOP talking to him and if he starts calling you don't pick up and if he starts calling on blocked numbers don't pick up then finally do and be like "i know its you thats calling, give up."

if your attached to him and love him
its not worth it dont even try he's a scumbag
and everybody deserves better then a cheating, lieing, promice breaking, ass.

sorry about your situation =[

Q: okay i want everyone to be completely honest.
so me and this guy went out for like little more than half a year and then we broke up. but i found out like a week before we broke up he did stuff with this girl who happens to be related to me. and i understand why he did what he like we had a big fight because something stupid i did i didnt cheat but i made a mistake in listening to someone i barley knew over believing the guy that i loved with all my heart but any ways now this guy like talks to me every night and talks about how he wants to hookup and crap and i would definitely even though he has a new girlfriend(the girl he cheated on me with) and im still in love with him and i know he still loves me its a really hard situation, and most of you will probably think "if he cheated he doesnt love you" but it isnt like that. so i just want to know like would that make me like a slut or whore because of what im doing? like do you think that makes me a bad person?

if he's seeing a new girlfriend (one that he cheated on you with) you should seriously back off
1. weren't you really upset when he cheated on you weren't you upset that your relative let that happen .. be the bigger person
2. if he's trying to hookup with you while he has a new girlfriend he's a scumbag.. he's a scumbag for cheating on you in the first place ;; and he definably is using you

if you do hookup with him you could very likely get that reputation .. i really don't think its a good idea

i know you love him but i think you love how he used to be.. do you really love cheating, lying, hurt "if he cheated he doesn't love you" but it isn't like that." sorry hun but i think it is =/

i don't even know you but you deserve better then that everybody does.. let it go move on
heartbreak happens to everyone
you'll meet a better guy that loves you enough not to cheat on you

if he only wants too hook up screw it BUT if he wants to get back with you have him break it off with his girl and take this extra slow and say i need to gain your trust back but if he backs off quickly you'll know he's using you

good luck and I'm really sorry about your situation

Q: Ok I'm super confused so maybe someone can explain this to me! Let's say a boy is 17 and in your state the law is a 17+ person can't date a minor then can he have a 15 year old girlfriend? Because I was reading that there are laws that when your like 17 and up you can't date minors but what about teens around the same age with only a couple years difference? Thanks so much and I will rate everyone who helps me! :D

i have never heard of that law .. it may be true but i dont think people follow it .. you can date a guy a few years older then you if he's 17 i know plenty of people that do. just make sure if you have sex not to get pregnant (condoms, birth control) because if they are older then 18 and your younger your parents could sue for statutory rape.

Q: Does anyone know how to find out what the age of legal dating is in your state? I live in pennsylvania and I want to know if the age when
dating a minor is illegal like 17 or 18 or what.I already searched for it but I didn't really know how to phrase it and didn't get anything helpful. Thanks!!!

you can date at whatever age you want
but you cannot have sex with a person under 18 if you are over 18 because its "illegal"

Q: My boyfriend and i have been going out for almost a month. We never have anything to talk about. It feels weird. Hes in 6 of my classes plus lunch.I need stuff to talk about.

please help me!!
stuck in a conversation

you should do something fun with him your friends and his friends go bowling or something like that where everybody can talk and have fun then the next day you can talk about that and your friends his friends and convorsation will stur up. another thing you can do that will help you get to know him more and him know you is the "question game" sounds cheezy but it gets fun once you later get into it. you can start with questions like ;; what do you like in a girl? how'd your fiss kiss happen with who? when did you start liking me? then you can get into the fun stuff like whats the farthest you've gone with a girl? have you ever dressed in girl clothes? ever do .. whatever!

that will keep you on the phone for hours!

hope i helped good luck!

Q: Well my guy friend lets name him Tim well i asked Tim if he had any secrets and he said yes and he told me he wanted to tell me face to face on Saturday and i did the whole no tell me now blah he told my friend aswell i'll tell you the convo's with me and him and me and my friend lets call her sara

Me-give me a clue
Tim-Nop cause you'll know right away
Me-Is it funny ?
Tim-I hope not cause then i'll get embarrassed lol
Me-Arghh ! Saturday !

Now me and my other friend
Lily-Hii Tim is so hott YUMM ! he's perfect would you ever go out with him
Me-I duno
Lily-What would you say if he asked you out
Me-Yeh i guess
anyone havea clue on the secret xS

yes deffinatly that he likes you and he's going to tell you on saturday

Q: Alright ......theres this guy who i Really REALLY like and he likes me back but hes still in the stage between immature and mature he plays way to many games and thinks everything is a joke when his friends are around....... When we are alone hes a totally diffrent guy...i really like him but i want him to act the same whether his friends are around or not...What should i do?

you can't really change how he is around his friends
because MANY guys are like that but if you really REALLY like him when your alone then try dating him if its THAT much of a problem bring it up to him when your alone ;; but when your in a relationship with someone things change so i wouldn't be too worried about it

hope i helped

Q: 14/f
two guys.
one is my best friend and the other is my other friend. they dont know eachother. both of them are bi. my bestfriend told me he didnt like me a few months back. since then, i stopped trying to make him like me because if he doenst he doesnt. but im gonna see him this week and since we havent seen eachother in a while maybe something will change.
my other friend is great. he flirts with me a lot and stuff but i cant tell if its just for fun or if it means anything. my bestfriend always flirts with me too but apprently he never liked me as more than a friend.
so im not sure what to do at this point because i like them both and dont know how either feels. and im not a player so i wont go for both at once. thanx =]

you should hangout with them both and if they start flirting with you just be like "hmm you seem kinda flirty today" and just see the reaction on their face of both guys and then you can get into that topic or you can just tell by the expression on their face .. the more confidence you come out with it the less it will seem like a big deal ;; trust me. and guys dig confidence

hope i helped a little bit anyway =D

Q: for me to be upset/mad about this?

This girl has had a crush on my boyfriend for many months now. On and off I suppose. :/ They both have a class together and both are friends. She was flirting with him a lot and started to bite him.

I find her kind of immature, she still acts like she's in 8th grade [she's a freshmen] She even bit my boyfriend when she was with some guy. She also bites two of my guy friends.

So the first time, She bit his arm and left a large purple circle. Also left some teeth marks near his hand. It bothered me I guess and he figured it out, so he said he would talk to her about it.

but today, I saw him with various bite marks on his hands, arms.. 2 large bruises on one shoulder and another on the other and a teeth marks on his back too. i don't think he's cheating on me. i trust him. i know he has no time for her out of school or i would have heard it from his mom. and, i have many friends at HIS school that would have told me any strange behavior, you know? it's just lately, she's been all over him in a nonchalant way.

and he doesn't know how to tell her to stop since they are like best friends.

since he doesnt know how to tell her, he's planning to ignore her..

but i doubt it will help.. so any advice for me?

i want to write her a message over like myspace or something, since i don't see her in person. what should i say? i'm afraid she will make me look like the bad guy :/ i'm not the type to say "Fu*k off" She can hug him and yeah, but biting/leaving hickeys.. is just as bad as kissing to me. it's almost worse.. because there's proof.. or maybe i'm just making a big deal out of this.

I kinda feel bad for getting mad about this.

i would just leave her a message being like "yea its kind of bothering me that your biting my boyfriend and i saw marks on his shoulder, arms, hands, and back!? i'm not trying to be a bitch or anything but its bothering me and i dont care if you guys are friend just stop biting him? k thanks.." and i think your boyfriend should try pushing her to stop more if my guy friend was biting me i wouldnt feel bad telling him to stop
and you have NO reason to feel bad for getting bad
i would too deffinatly

hope i helped!

Q: I'm 14 and a girl in the 9th grade. Ok, so I like this guy and I've liked him for a longgg time. Everyone alwyas says we're giong to get married, becasue we're best friends and were always together. I never told my girl best friend that i liked him though, because I kind of always thought she did too, and i really dnt like to talk about guys with anyone. But just recently, she told me she lked him, and wanted me to ask him to homecomeing for her. well, I did, and he said that he had thought that he might would ask me. and I told him that I couldnt do that to her, and told him he should just go with her.so he said yes, and i've been ttrying to kind of stay out of it, but now he doesnt thik I like him anymore, and things have gotten weird between us. I miss us being close, and I dont know what to do. Any help?

i think you should tell \"guy\" that you dont wanna ruin your freindship with her because its really important to you ;; and staight up tell him that you liked him for a long time ;; i know its hard but i had the same kind of thing \"a friend i liked for a lonnnggg time and everybody said actually still says we are gonna get married\" and when i liked him i like never told him until it was kindof too late .. just do it in a casual way so its not so awkward and serious tell him straight up cuz he\'ll admire your confidence and tell him that you want to wait a little while to see if your friend will get over him and talk to her.. if she told you recently that she liked him tell her that you have feelings for him too at soooon.(i know thats tough too but if you end up dating him the situation will be less scummy) things may have gotten weird because he\'s trying to get over you cuz he thinks you dont like him .. dont wait things out to much!!

hope i helped =d
its soo funny i was in the exact same situation last year actually its kinda creepy ahah!

Q: My boyfriend thinks I am cheating on him. I love him and I would NEVER cheat on him. I just can't believe that he would even think that!! I am so stunned. I don't know what to do.
How can I tell him that I am not???

i was in this exact same situation and this is what i did i sat him down held both of his hands and said "its really bothering me that you would think i'd cheat on you.. i'm telling you right now that your the ONLY guy i want to be with right now .. i love YOU" then i gave him a soft kiss on the lips staring straight into his eyes the whole time;; maybe it will work for you too!

good luck! hope i helped

Q: So, my boyfriend Alex & I have been dating now for four months. This weekend we were supposed to spend it all together. Tonight, we were supposed to go to a haunted house, tomorrow we were supposed to hang out before we both had work, and Sunday we were supposed to hang out ALL DAY together, & just go sight seeing around Texas.

Unfortunately, on Wednesday he hurt his leg, and went to the Emergency Room, and now he's on crutches. His parents don't want him leaving the house and just want him resting, which is totally understandable because I want that as well. I haven't seen him since he's been hurt, and I'm finally going to be seeing him on Sunday, because his parents agreed me going over to their house is a good idea. Both of his parents will be home, but I wanted to do something really nice for him, since he's sick and stuck at home. Does anyone have any good ideas?

Thanks in advance! (:

you could maybe bring a deck of cards and play some card games or something like that and listen to music ;; if you made him a get well card or something like that that'd be really cute too just to show him how much you care =]

bio

i'm renee. i'm nice and fun. i'm new to the site but i usually give great advice; i've been through alot of shit i usually relate to people's problems and love helping people out ;; i'm best at giving advice on love and relationships .. try meee =]