Hey im Greg. Im 17 years old and work as a Martial Arts Instructor. I have been studying Martial arts physical and mental philosophy and practice for 13 years. I have had my fair share of experiences with life. I have always been and am a straight edge kid. I am opposed to sex, drugs, smoking, drinking, and being mean for no good reason. I love to give advice and help people as much as I can. If anyone needs advice then send me a message because i will always love to help. Have a good day :)
E-mail: AskShinobi@Gmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Florida
Occupation: Martial Arts Instructor and Master
Age: 17
AIM: AskShinobi
Member Since: January 9, 2009
Answers: 20
Last Update: June 2, 2009
Visitors: 2705
Main Categories:
Mental health
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To Shinobi:
15(almost 16)/male
So I'm in a new realtionship with this really amazing girl, and I'm her first boyfriend. Are you familiar with the bases? I was wandering how soon is too soon to "pass bases". How long should I wait for first? Second? Third? I don't believe in "hitting a homerun" until marrage so the last ones covered.
She's a really great girl and I just don't want to ruin things by moving too fast.
Hoping you can help a fella out,
Matt (link)
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Sorry. I have been ofline for a while with school ending. I hope im still in time to answer your question.
Im familiar with the "bases" theory. I do believe though that there is no set time frame. First and second base should come as a "natural" feeling. Its natural progression of a relationship. It usually takes a few weeks for second. first base should be pretty immediate.
Third base is a different story. Third base should be a little bit down the road. It's something you should talk about first or if things start feeling like "u wanna run to third" you should ask if its ok with her. It may be weird but it shows that your a good guy with good intentions.
You always want to respect a womans bounderies. That is a vital key to a sucessful relationship. You want to be in it for the RELATIONSHIP not the physical aspect of it and you want her to know that.
And I support your "not hitting a home run". I feel the same and its a noble thing to do.
I hope that this helps. Message me if u need anything or have any questions.
U can message me at AskShinobi@gmail.com or Askshinobi is also my IM screen name. Hope it helps. :)
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dear shinobi:
so ive had alot of bad relationships lately and so I'm starting to not believe that realy true love is not actually real. basicly i just want to know if you believe in realy true love? examples? do you think that everyone has "the one" for them out there somewhere? and have you met yurz?
thanks- tiff ( o btw im 17 and a gurl) (link)
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Quite honestly, yes to the everyone has someone and true love is real, and im not sure to if I have found mine. I could be friends with them and not know that its them, but everyone has someone.
I believe in true love. Everyone can and should experience it. But im like you with the string of recent bad relationships.You gotta know that your gonna run into some bad relationships and some bad people but you cant let that stop you from wanting what you deserve. A good boyfriend that loves you. You gotta know that you have to go through some tough times in relationships to find the one thats for you.
Keep waiting for love and know that you will know when its real. It will come if your faithful and waiting for it.
Im here for support whenever you need it.
Im available 24/7. My AIM screen name is AskShinobi and my e mail is AskShinobi@gmial.com contact me if you have any questions
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15/f
So I was wandering, how do you know when your in love? And how can you tell the difference between real, genuine love and just strong friendship, and do strong friendships usualy result in relationships? I would really appreciate it if you could answer this. Thank you :)
-Annie (link)
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I remember finding this out the hard way.... I think I can help before you do too.
I always wanted relationships. To be in love and happy. That was my problem. I became good friends with certain girls and it felt natural to be in a relationship after such strong friendships. So yes, usualy strong friendships result in relationships (though they always shouldn't). But that was the problem.
This is how you can tell when its real or not.
1) if you cant bring yourself to say something negative about the person
2) if your upset then you think about that person to make you feel better
3) If you are willing to think through the risk of losing that person as a friend but gaining a love and still take the risk even though you know its high.
4) if you dont cant think about being with anyone else.
Those questions are what I had to start asking myself so I wasn't entering a relationship just to be in a relationsip.
Let me know how you liked it. You can E-mail me at AskShinobi@gmail.com or send me a message on here.
Good Luck!
- Greg (Shinobi)
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Is it wrong to want someone to sleep next to you, cuddle with you, laugh, hug, kiss, and play with you, when you don't want to date anyone? (link)
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No. Its not wrong as long as your not leading anyone on thats its something more. Everyone wants companionship. Its only natural to want that. As long as someone knows you just wanna be like that and not "date" and that you all can see other people then its fine. If someone thinks its something more though and finds out the hard way then it could be damaging to your rep.
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sorry, this will most likely be long, but i'd seriously appreciate it if you took some time out to help me ... 16/f
1. I love/loved my ex boyfriend. i think he was my first love, we had been best friends for 5 years until we finally became a couple, for a short period of time. 1/2 my fault. 1/2 his. he broke up with me over text, on aim, and facebook message ... yeah. kinda assholey. my parents were kinda friends with his parents .. which was a little awkward. he was my first kiss, altho ive never hooked up with anyone. it's been almost 4 months since we broke up, he told 2 of my friends that we are just friends and that it's how its gonna be.. or something along those lines, but the "just friends" part was very clear. we haven't talked for 4 months because the only way i agreed to be in a relationship with him was if he promised me we would still be very close friends and nothing would be awkward, we'd still hang out etc ... he SWORE to me that it'd be like that. we made plans to hang out over spring break and everything .... but then we broke up because i was ignoring him because a girl from his camp was telling him she wanted to hook up with him and everything and he didn't say anything like ... nah. and he wouldn't like show me his texts and im pretty sure she influenced him t break up with me. so probably because i was ignoring him in person, he broke up with me. but i may never know. but anyways. that ended everything.
until, on facebook my friend from another state got a facbook [she knew my ex, they talked a few times] and she asked me to suggest friends for her. he was one of them. i didnt know it would show up on his facebook saying that i suggested him as a friend. and then my friend facebook chatted him and was like, hey. and he was liek hey, and then started to say OUT OF NOWHERE ... "believe it or not [my name] suggested you as a friend and we havent talked in a while...blah blah" he told her not to tell me what he said because it was really mean. but i facebook messaged him and i wrote him a message about what he said was wrong and he never said anything back. i think i still like him. but i know he doesnt like me anymore. what do i do? any advice or thoughts on what i just told you? anything you have to say would help .... thank you again. (link)
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Well thats quite a post. ;)
I think I may be able to help you out here.
Re-establishing your friendship is key to any sort of progress between you all and individually. Getting into a relationship with a close friend is seemingly risky but there are a few things that you can do to help.
He is probably upset with the situation and wanting that friendship even if he doesn't show it. If you where avoiding him that was most likely taken personally. And on the reverse, him not showing you his texts is kina sketchy behavior. You dont wanna be in a relationship with someone who is keeping secrets. You need to appologize (I know that sucks but you are gonna have to take it into YOUR hands if you want to be friends or possibly something more).
You need to let him know that your sorry and that you really want to be friends again. You need to let him know that your not mad at him and you regrett ignoring him. Make sure he knows that your doing this as a FRIEND and that you want to be FRIENDS.
Dont show any agression or aggrivation towards him. Any sign that your mad will make him go back on the defensive.
You need to talk to him about what he said in a way that doesn't make it seem like your attacking him. You just "want to know what you did to make him say that is all".
Re-establishing the friendship is going to be hard and akward but your going to need to put the effort into the "pre-relationship reset".
When you get that far message me and give me an update on what happened and I would love to help you from there.
Hope it goes well. :)
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[16/f] hahaa i just want to apologize in advance for the length of this message... :)
ok, so theres this guy. and our families are friends but its not like we hang out or anything. and my brother is friends with this guy ... we'll call the guy ... jake. and my name will be ... cali.
well, jake asked me out on text at 2 in the morning randomly, when i was at my friend's house. it creeped me out because we didn't even talk that day, and he said it so wierdly and he sent me like 5 messages in a row, without me answering ... he was like, "can we talk?" ... "about us" ... "i have to ask you a question." ... "cali, i can't wait any longer, will you go out with me?" ... "i guess not."
I didn't answer him, because i was really creeped out by this. so like ... we didn't talk for liek a week. but then we started IMing eachther again, and he didn't bring it up. and i didnt either. [we're in one of the same classes by the way] and then he told me he liked me, and i told him i liked him...but we werent together. after that we kinda stopped talking and we dont sit by eachther in class and im by one of my best guy friends so we always chill with eachother and my guy friend walks me to my next class and stuff. so then comes xmas break, which was 13 days this year, and we didn't talk baically the entire time. and when he talks to me, im always the one starting conversations, and he is always using like or 2 word answers. its annoying. but the entire break he didn't talk to me, except for one day, and he IMed me and said ... "hey, im bored." i was pissed. liek wtf. he doesnt talk to me for 12 days and then uses me for entertainment when hes bored? so i told him, "jake, i dont know if you've realized but im pretty mad at you right now." and he was like why but then before i could answer he was like, "i dont want to know." and then said, "im gonna go before i say something stupid." and he signed off. liek he was running away from the problem. WTF. so then we didnt talk and then new years came around and i texted everyone on my phone, saying, "happy 2009" and he replied with, "i thought you disliked me." and i said, "you assume too much." and he never replied. it's been like 2 weeks since then and we don't talk. so i asked his friend is he hates me or something, and he apparently asked jake, and jake said no.
............ wtf. WTF.
any advice on this, or feedback, or what i should because idk if he's worth it, or why i still think about him. im just confused. thank you soo much!!!! (link)
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Dont worry about the length. Im always glad to help a friend who needs help :)
It sounds like a situation I was in last year.... Not fun and I made the wrong choices. I hope I can help you out with my mistake.
You need to ask yourself whether he is worth it or not. You need to know why you like him. Is it because of his personality, his looks, his smile. Whatever it is reflect on it.
Next, you need confrontation. You need to face the problem head on. You like him? You want to know if he likes you or if you all are going to be together? If yes then you need to let him know how you feel and if he feels the same way. If he really wants to be with you he will tell you and he should do something about it. If he's not doing anything then you need to ask the question "why?". That question can make or break.
You also don't want to be with someone who only wants you to chase them. That is a sign of someone insecure.
Let me in on why he's probably saying all these 2 word answers and avoiding talk. Men are........ easily discouraged. We tend to try to avoid situations that can be uncomfortable. You need to let him know personally that your not mad at him because he is being defensive. If he thinks that your mad at him he's going to avoid talking because it could bring confrontation. Let him know your not mad at him.
Next, make sure that he sees that your putting forth the effort of starting to talk again. That way he knows that you care.
Please, dont make the mistake I made by not doing anything about it. Tackle it head on.
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All I would like to know is, what is your opinion on finding love online? It could be an actual dating site or just random falling in love, didnt see it coming. Do you believe it can be true love if you have never even met or talked to the person besides online? Or do you think that there is no possible way?
One more question...
Do you believe you can fall in love at any age?
Thanks!! (link)
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Yes and No all at the same time lol.
My best friend in the world found a girl online and talked forever. They were set up and fell in love via e-mail/myspace. They actually met and couldn't stand eachother.
On the flip side my other friend ended up texting and myspacing this girl and they were arguing all the time. Then they met in person and are currently going on their 2nd happy year.
The point is that when you write is only half the equation. You must meet the person and physicaly talk. That is always different. It can be love but you need to make sure. (Just make sure you meet in a very public place just to be safe)
Yes. Anyone can fall in love at any age. Im 16 years old and most deffinately in love and in an amazing relationship (officially engaged) with a girl who lives 2 hours away from me. Long distance can work. (if you're wondering why im engaged at 16 im going to college next year lol.)
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