reach28's advice column | reach28's Advice About Love Life

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Q: Hey reach28! Just wondering if you were going to answer my question about committment and my boyfriend and stuff, or whether I should direct it to someone else? Just wondering!
Thanks!
~Casey

sry, i don't want to seem like i'm ignoring your question. you, know, a couple of months before, i would of thought that i had the answer, but right now i'm going through the same deal. With my, i can feel completley comfortable with talking about just about anything. except for the subject of what happens after school. I think i'm going to listen to my own advice here: If you really feel comfortable w/ him, then go ahead, talk about it. It doesn't have to be heavy, just bring it up lightly, and it should be just fine. Sry i took so long. let me know what you do.
~reach28

Q: Somehow I think you'd be a good person to ask for advice. The person I love more than anything is holding something from me; he says he doesn't want to bring it up because he's afraid it will deter me. How can I tell him that he's my best friend, that I will always be there for him, that I will love and care about him through the heavy and light aspects of life? I know he knows this, but it's like there's a part of his life that the door is closed on, that he doesn't want to talk about. If he truly doesn't, of course I will respect that, but I want so badly to understand him and know what he has been through. I want to let him know that whatever it is, I will be there because I /want/ to be there, and nothing he could ever say or do would change that.
I also want to talk more to him about college. He knows how afraid I am of that, how I keep bringing it up, how I can't hold back a flood of emotion when thinking about it. And I want to tell him how I feel that he is someone special to me; how I'm not willing to give that up because of being separated by distance. I want to tell him that everything I say is sincere, and that he's not just some high school boyfriend to me.
It's hard to bring this all up without making everything too serious and heavy. Maybe you can help me?

If your special someone really cares about you, then I'm sure that he already knows how much you mean to him, and vice versa. It sounds like your very close to him, and that you two have been though heavy stuff before. If it appears that he's hiding something from you, i'm sure thats not what he means to do. With things that happened along time ago, sometimes its hard for someone to relate tough times to someone else because that means that he has to relive them all over again. (even if it is someone that he cherishes with all his heart). However, if you truly want to know, someone who's that close to you would share it with you when the time is right. Above all, for somone you know that cares about you that much, never be afraid to tell him how you feel.

(sorry, per advicenators guidelines, only one question per request. see the FAQ. If you want, submit a seperate question ;) )

hope this helps,
~reach28

Q: Ok, so I masturbate on school nights out of fear that I won't be too horny the next day and look at one of my friends the wrong way, ya know? But lately it hasn't been working so well, I still feel horny sometimes when I am at school. Don't suggest doing it in the morning because I barely have enough time for breakfast as it is, add that and well, it'd get messy. And also I have enough morals not to do it at school. So, if anyone knows the cure to unrelenting horniness please tell me.
15/m

Ok, first of all, everything that you talked about ,its pretty normal. It's perfectly normal for someone to masterbate, and it would be very hard to find someone that has never felt horny at school. I bet that a lot of guys your age feel that they have the same "problem" (its not really that big of a problem, if it makes you feel better). The best thing to do is to stop thinking about how its going to through you off. The more you concentrate on it, the more you're gonna feel yourself getting horny. besides, mentally, maybe it isn't a good idea to really on doing it at a certain time to relieve "pressure" for the day. You'll find yourself depending on it to get you through the day, and that not a good situation. It sound hard to do, but just stop thinkng about it. Try to think of something else when it happens. And if you do feel a little excited during the day, taht's perfectly okay. Odds are, no one's going to notice (unless there just starting at your pants, but that's not likely :) ) hope this helps

Q: Well, I like this boy who I liked forever!. I'm 18/f.
I liked this boy named Nick for a LONG time. I mean like seven years. Since my 5th Grade. I never told my friends because they think I got over him after middle school. I still have feelings for him. I know this will sound too juvenille, but I told him I liked him in 5th Grade. He never said anything.
During middle school, I didn't really see him too much. Whenever I would pass him, he would act so cool and mean around me. Well, not really mean, but sarcastic. Like he would say "Get out of my way!" In a sarcastic way. He still does that. I know this sounds kinda eager, but I think he likes me.
I REALLY like him. I never liked anyone else. If I did, I still liked Nick.
Please help me!!!

Signed,
Loving Long

maybe he does. even if he doesn't, you'll never know unless you don't find out. if you had an interest for him for that long of a time, it isn't gonna go away. tell me if im interpreting this wrong, but the way he talks to you in the hall sounds like he kinda jokes with you, which means that he might be open to knowing you more, if doesn't want to already. in any case, that really doesnt matter, because if you don't ask him, you'll regret it for a long, long time. and if something does happen, think of what you'd miss out on! Good Luck!

Q: I have this really strange thing happening to me. Well I keep running into my ex bf. First walking to the grocery store, then at elections Canada on election day, and then today at Rodgers Video. I havent seen him in a long time, but then just in the last week I've run into him 3 times. The thing is that he used to be really rude to me, and either ignore me or say something sarcastic to me. I think this is because I dumped him and he never got over it. But something in his attitude towards me has changed. Now he says "Hi, How are you doing, I havent seen you in a long time"! He also smiles, and is very friendly. I am worried he has an alterier motive. When we were dating he was unemployed and so was I. Well I have a really good job now, and I heard he is still unemployed. I am worried he is trying to get me back because he told me when we were dating that he didnt want to work, but wanted a gf to support him. Should I be cautious?

It's just my viewpoint (you can think whatever you want), but it seems that you have your life set up pretty good right now. If you're worried that he might be manipulating you, trust your gut instinct. If you truly feel that he has an alterier motive, don't take a chance.