About 6 weeks ago I was dumped over the internet by my long term bf. He did it in a very cowardly and cruel way with no explanation- pretty ignorant for a 3 year relationship. Everyone is telling me I'm better off without him. When I first met him I thought he was mr. right- he was caring, attentive; and charming. But then I saw his true colours. He would yell at me for no reason; get extremely jealous when I talked to his male friends; constantly put me and other women down; was a womanizer and cheated on me; and had a porn addiction. The meanest thing he ever did was stick his face in mine and yell "I"M SO SORRY"! after I told him his friends at a party were making me uncomfortable. I started writing a list of all the crap he did to me to make me feel better. But there is still a part of me that misses him when he was nice. Does anyone have any methods for how I can get over this jerk? And why do I still want him after everything he did?
It's always hard to let go fo a long term relationship. Even bad ones. From what you have told me he sounds very rude and not very considerate of your feelings at all. We women tend to think we can "fix" a man or that things will get better later. The truth is we can't fix them and it won't get any better later. The best sign of future behavior is past behavior. The way that he broke up with you is a blatant display of disrespect! I say you are better off without him! I know that doesn't make it any easier for you. Just give yourself some time to readjust. Get out with friends and do things that you enjoy and you will find yourself moving on sooner than you think.
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Okay 25/F here with major realtionship issues. Recently me and my boyfriend of 7 years decided to have a separation, well more like I decided. So he moved out (we own a house together) and I have now been living alone for 3 weeks. The plan was for him to go get help and for me to sort out my feelings and then he would move back in after a month and then we could see how things went from there. So why did we separate? He is very controlling and jealous, he was constantly calling me names and accusing me of cheating, so basically calling me a whore. He say's he doesn't really think I cheat but he just gets mad and that he's jealous of my job, because they get more attention then I do. I am never allowed to go anywhere and have alienated every friend beacuse he thinks that you should not go out unless your significant other is with you. So there's no "girls night" for me. If I even go to the store he clocks me and gets pissed about how long I take. The longer we're together the less I cuddle, kiss or do anything with him at all. The only time I am intimate with him, I am being forced by him complaining and some sense of duty for the relationship. Basically it's aweful and his touch disgusts me now. Despite all his faults he loves me very much perhaps too much and he has always been there for me when I had tough things to deal with. He wants to marry me and have kids but I am not ready for that, I care about him but for some reason I can't seem to marry him. On top of it all I have formed this infatuation for a co-worker and my BF senses their is something between me and this other guy, if he even new about flirting then he would seriously go down there and beat him to a pulp. So our month break thing is almost up, and I still don't know what I want, he has been going to a Psychologist and he recognizes his problems and I appreciate his effort but I can't seem to make myself "feel" and he says that I just don't care, but I do I just can't explain what it is I feel. If I leave him he will serisouly snap, he already threatened to kill himself when I asked for the separation. I don't know what to do, if he really did change will my feelings all come back or did I fall out of love with him and is it too late? Or am I so focused on this other guy that I am not appreciating what I already have. I feel so lost right now. :(
It doesn't sound to me like love honey, but obsession and that is way different than love. Love is kind and giving while obsession is demanding and controling. Ring a bell?? Do you really want to spend your life being controled and not having healthy friendships? I would think not. I think it's great that he is getting help and that he atleast does recognise that he does have a problem. I really don't think a month is long enough to wait. It takes a while to deal with these kind of issues. The way you say this guy makes you feel and the fact that you are interested in someone else leads me to believe you are ready to break things off permanantly but you are stayign with him out of guilt. I mean he IS getting help so he can be with you right? So you owe it to him right? wrong!! Wether you two are together or not he needs help with these issues. I'm not saying you have to be unkind but I think you are ready to move on. If that is what you are feeling then that is what you should do. Staying with him will only lead to resentment. You will feel pressured to stay with him and that will only lead to other problems. As far as him threatening to kill himself that is more than likely just another way of controling you. If he threatens this again and you are sincerely concerned he might be a danger to himself you can call 911 and let them take care of it.Do what your heart tells you to do. Don't operate out of guilt, but rather what you feel is best for you.
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well me and my boyfriend are back together he asked me out and i said yeah...but he is being nice but he wants to go to this place where all my friends hangout and all his friends play soccer and we all hang out there and im just worried that he will hit on my friends...and tommorow he is going to new jersey with his friends but i dont trust his friends because they always try to break us up and i dont know what i should do should i be mad that he is going to the those places?...well thank you
Well you said it yourself. You don't trust him. Red flag here!! Trust is very important in any relationship, even friendships. Do you really want a guy you think will hit on your friends?? As far as his friends go, noone can talk us into doing something if we didn't want to do it and if he is that easy to persuade to break up with you then you don't need that either. No you shouldn't be mad. You just need a better guy all together. The most important thing you can give yourself is respect. Now respect yourself and stop worrying about this guy.
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I have ben hurt many times by guys. Too many times! I always seem to fall for the wrong type, and I really mean the WRONG type! They all seem great at first but then the truth comes out. My ex-boyfriends have either been phycos, nymphos, mythomaniacs, cheaters or just plain assholes!! I have lost count on how many night I have fallen asleep crying! I thought I had given up on boyfriends and then my present boyfriend came along and seems really nice and all. Sure, he cheated on me once in the begining of out relationship but that's normal for me now, I guess that's just a thing that guys do so I have him a second chance.
So now we are together and I can't seem to be happy when I'm with him!! I'm just waiting for when he is going to hurt me and how he's going to do it!
When ever I try to picture our relationship in the furutre I see me crying over him because he hurt me really bad somehow....
I have seriously no romance in me anymore! My previous boyfriends have crushed that! They have made me into a depressing person. I used to me known as the "really happy and fun girl" but that was a looooong time ago!
I try, I really try to be happy with my present boyfriend, he is nice and all but I can't seem to get there. What is wrong with me?!?!
They have crushed my spitit, my soul and a few times my will to live :'(
please help!!
First of all the reason you are expecting something bad to happen in your current relationship is because it already has! The trust was broken between you right from the beginning when he cheated. Forgiving is easier said than done. Although we may say we have forgivin someone and may even outwardly appear to have done so, the heart is a little harder to convince. Yes alot of men (and women) cheat. That doesn't mean it is normal or something you should just except. You said yourself you always seem to go for the wrong type of guy. Well you have to break that pattern. Is there some reason you think you don't deserve a good guy? Do you think you don't deserve to be happy? I'm here to tell you YES you do deserve to be happy!!! When you settle for less than what you want that's exactly what you get. Less! I think you need a little time off from the boyfriend game ( at least 6 months) to do a little soul searching. The only person who can make us truely happy is ourselves. Be your own best friend. Noone can look out for your own best interest better than you can. Make a list of all the qualities you want in another person. When your done read that list OFTEN and don't settle for less than that! Does that mean you might be single for a while? probably, but wouldn't it be better to wait for the REAL Mr. Right, rather than put yourself through more heartache by settling for less than you deserve? Just rememeber, love and respect go hand in hand. If you aren't being respected in your relationship then you aren't being loved properly.
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Ok so im trying to work things out with my bf. we have been together almost 2 years and i am now pregnant even though i was told i couldnt have kids. We have set a date for marriage but there is a problem. He will not save any money and we are stuck renting a basement apartment at a friends house and im not bringing a baby into a basement. So, i suggested that we move down south with family where we could afford the cost of living. He refuses because all of his friends are here. So since he doesnt want to come with me, should i just leave him and go by myself??? I have no family or friends here and both of our families are down south. I think he is being selfish to want me and our baby to stay in a basement just because of his friends.
No honey, you are not the selfish one here. You are thinking of the welfare of your baby as you should be. It sounds to me like your bf has some growing up to do and fast! The problem is this could be time consuming so while he is "growing up" you should do what ever is best for you and baby.I think being close to family is a good idea. At least you would have a support system there where as now you have none. So go be with your family. If he is ready to be a father to this child then he will follow and if not then so be it. his loss.
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