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My ex-boyfriend (Sammy) broke up with me on December 26th. He was older than me and after he broke up with me, I met Edward but we broke up today. Anyways, Sammy used to call me cutie and I loved it. Now, I don't let anyone else call me that. Today, I found out that he died because someone hit him with a car. I remember that the last thing I said to him was "look at the stars because we're both under the same sky and I'm sure we're looking at the same bright stars." Now that he's gone, I'm going crazy. I still love him and I have no idea of what I should do. I'm just too young to be going through this and I can't take it anymore. My life is too hard and sometimes I don't want it. (link)
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I've always thought that as we come to know know people, we also take a part of them with us in our daily lives - even after we part ways.
You and Sammy were close - and based on what you've written, it sounds like he had a huge impact on your life. Given this, what about Sammy can you incorporate into your own life or the lives of others? What you can you pass along to keep his memory alive not only in your life but in the lives of others?
In time, you'll come to accept and understand what has happened. While that happens, share the best of him and he'll live on through you and others.
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Ok so I really like a girl, and honestly I love her, and I know teens say that a lot but we've been friends out entire life, and I've liked her ever since I can remember. Her name is Gwyneth and we've been friends since we were babies, and last year we went to school together. I thought I was friend zoned for years, but looking back I'm not too sure. I asked her to the dance once but I don't even know if it was as friends or as more. During the dance, I went back to a secluded area with my friend Bradley and we hung out back there. We were just talking and having some Dr.pepper lol and then Gwyneth's friend, Kate walked in and asked if I was mad at Gwyneth. I was so surprised and I told her "no why". She said they thought I was mad that Gwyneth wasnt dancing with me, and after all I was her date to the dance ( but I didn't know if we went as friends or more) I said that I was fine, but later Gwyneth walked in and asked if I was mad at her for not dancing with me. I wasn't but to tell the truth it would've been nice, but I didn't expect much thinking I was friend zoned. After telling her I wasn't, she said we should go dance, and I didn't know why she asked, if it was as friends, or if she even liked me. So we did but later that night a guy asked her out and they dated. The next dance we didn't go together but all my friends told me she wanted to dance with me and it killed me to leave her lonley but I couldn't be sure if she liked me, and if she didn't like me, I could lose a life-long friend. So I didn't dance with her at the second dance. I've never stopped loving her but now we go to different schools
Now she has a boyfriend but we go to different schools. and she liked my picture on Instagram for a wcw. I know that's really silly, but it's all I have left of her. she's had multiple boyfriends since then, it's only been a little less than a year.
So the question is: is it too late for me and her, I can't stop thinking about her, I'd do anything for her. It kills me because I had such an oppurtunity but I blew it. And sorry for the long post I'm at a new school and I don't have any friends yet so this is the only place I can talk about it and it's been killing me lately. THANKS FOR THE HELP IN ADVANCE AND I WILL GIVE ADVICE BACK! (link)
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Unfortunately, I think it's a bit too late to say something now since she has a boyfriend. However, if her relationship doesn't work out and you know she is single, I think having that conversation with her is perfectly fine.
I think you've learned an important lesson here, though. Sometimes, you just gotta ask the question instead of wondering because wondering will eventually drive you crazy and you end up with some regret like you have now.
There will be other relationships and girls that come along - if a relationship with Gwyneth doesn't work out, remember how important it is to just say how you feel and clear the air. It's a really important lesson because you should never assume that someone should know how you feel.
Good luck!
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Okay well, i have a boyfriend, Name is John. And im loosing feelings for him, and im starting to get feelings for this guy Chance. I know, break up with John.
Yeah, well its not that simple. Me and john are VERY close, AND weve spent a year and two months on each other. And i just dont wanna hurt him.
please help (link)
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My questions to you are: What is it that draws you to Chance that John isn't giving you? In other words, what gives you strong feelings for Chance? Are there things John can work on to make your relationship better? Why are you attracted to Chance?
See, the thing is it's easy to be attracted to someone else but harder to fix what already exist. If John isn't working with you in this relationship, then it's definitely time to talk to him about it. You always want to give both the relationship and the other person a chance. He can't fix something he doesn't know about, so it's up to you to tell him.
Best of luck!
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Im a 19 year old female and im with a 26 year old man.I just got out of a real bad relationship not to long a go now i have this new man thats 26 hes experienced alot more than i have. my problem is that we fight all the time but its mainly me i have trust issues and jealousy problems and i cant stand to see him with another girl. i know that the girls he hangs out with are his friends but i still get mad a i start accuseing him of cheating on me and we get in to a big fight.does anybody out there know how i can control my jealousy and trust issues and especially my anger towards him when i accuse him of doing thing that he says that not doing and he probably isnt (link)
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This sounds all too familiar to me!
Look, this isn't really an issue about controlling anything but understanding where it all comes from. A big part of this is not only accpeting what happened with you in the past, but also learning that it does not define your future. It sounds like you were burned pretty bad in the past and I'm definitely sorry to hear that!
Think of it this way, since you seem to understand how angry you get when he hangs out with other girls. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment and think about how much longer you'd want to be in a relationship with someone who treated him the way you do. Even if you can only manage this for a few seconds, I'm sure you'll notice it's not a wonderful feeling.
You'll never learn to control your jealousy until you understand where it comes from and why. At that point, you can begin making the necessary choices necessary to change your behavior. Because, as we always hear, nobody ever 'makes' you feel a certain way - you allow them to do so. In this case, you create possible scenarios in your head and live in the world of "what if". What if he's doing this? What if he's kissing one of the girls? What if one of them is hitting on him? You probably find yourself in a panic with anxiety symptoms. And for what?
If you have time to see a counselor or therapist, I would highly recommend it. These types of trust issues will not go away quickly and should be dealt with appropriately. Trust is essential in a relationship; so consider it as something you're paying forward.
Best of luck!
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i don't know why he won't let me tell. he let me tell my best friend but now he wants to break up with me cause he afraid it will get out that were dating!!! (link)
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I do agree with the previous advice that was posted; it's great stuff to think about.
I want to approach this from a different angle though because this is also about empowering yourself. You are an individual with your own thoughts and free will. If you want to tell people, then tell people. Never let anyone have this type of control or power over you.
If anything, a relationship is something to be proud of because it takes work. If he's unwilling to recognize this, then you should probably move on to someone who will want to shout it from the rooftop; or 5th period.
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i posted a question on here recently about liking it when my boyfriend slaps me, bites me, smacks me, etc. we only started doing stuff like this the other day, and only when i ask him to.
but today something happened that kind of threw me off guard and worried me a bit. see, he's the type who doesnt believe in using "unnatural" drugs. like, anything that isn't weed or shrooms. (he's made it quite clear that if i do anything other than those two substances, he'll leave me) but today i was trying to be honest with him and told him about some experimenting that i contributed in with one of my friends several months ago. after i told him he slapped me. it didnt harm me, but i was still shocked. i hadn't asked him to, and he's never been the type to hit me when he's angry. he felt horrible and apologized when he noticed that i didn't like it.
i forgave him but it got me to thinking; since i've told him that i get off from being slapped, i'm concerned that maybe this will give him permission to slap me even when i don't ask for it. i only ask to be slapped, obviously, when i'm in "the mood". i'm sure he knows that, but i also think i should talk to him about it. since the non-consentual hitting has only happened once, should i not be concerned? (link)
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You should be concerned.
There is a very big difference between what happens during the heat of passion and what happens during the heat of an argument. If anything, it involves self-control. Typically, one would know that what happens in the bedroom is not necessarily OK at any other time during the day. Keep in mind that you also mentioned how you ask him to physically hit you during your intimate moments.
However, his slap occurred during a non-intimate moment and was uninvited. Hence, you should be concerned if that was his default automatic response. I would like to also bring your attention to the fact that your relationship (at least as it relates to drugs) is conditional (i.e. if you do this, I will leave you). To me, this implies control over you and your behavior. If he understands how much you mean to him, this is a threat that can be used time and again to keep you in line with what he deems as acceptable.
My advice to you, is to have this talk with him about what happened and why it happened. However, you really should be looking at the overall relationship at this point. Even if he apologizes for slapping you, why would he ever do so in the first place? You should really be careful here, girl, because this can turn into a dicey situation. Sit down and have this talk and find out as much as you can about why it happened, lay out the groundrules of separation from sex and normal life during the day, and sit down with yourself and think if this relationship is really worth your time and dignity.
Best of luck.
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