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My name is Sasha Davis and I hope to someday be a phycologist. I am here because I want to learn about how I can best help other people. Come to me with your problems and I promise I will give you the best advice possible. Thank you :)

advice

My boyfriend & I have been going out for about five years now. We don't see each other a lot anymore because of us going to school & him working. I go to college around where he lives but I'm a commuter. While I'm at school or leaving school, he's at school too or he's at work. So on weekdays we never see each other. Friday & saturday nights are his nights with his friends. Sunday is always our day because he doesn't work sundays. It has always been this way. But today, or yesterday I guess, he didn't come to see me. Last sunday he didn't either. Both sundays he just stayed over his cousins house. I'm cool with his cousin & all the people that live in their house, they're all like family to me, but he was with them friday & saturday night too! And now I'm starting to be really pissed off because I always let him go & do his thing friday & saturday nights & there is no reason why he can't spend one day out of the week with me. If I approach him about it, hell act like an ass & we'll start arguing & really, I don't feel like arguing with his dumb ass because I already know what hell say. Probably something like, "I just wanted to chill with my buls" or "you always got something to bitch about" or something along those lines. Okay... so yeah, I'm hurt. It upsets me because I never ask him for shit. All I expect is when it hits sunday, he's spending it with me. I'm like lost with what to do right now. As soon as I tell him how I feel, there's gonna be an argument & I'm really trying to avoid that. When we argue, we argue hard. But Ilm trying hard not to be passive so what do you think I should do? Suck it up & just let it go or suck it up & argue it out with him?

By the way, I texted him earlier today. Me: don't you ever miss me?
Him: yes, I do be missing you.
Me: I don't feel like you do. I don't know. I just miss you & we don't get to see each other a lot.
Him: we'll be out of school soon.

That's all I've said to him about how I feel today. So him saying we will be outta school soon obviously means we will see each other more once the semester is over. But still.. He could have came to see me today & last sunday! Please let me know your thoughts & how I should go about this. I appreciate all answers, however, don't just say, "just tell him how you feel. End of story." Its not that easy to tell a guy who thinks he's always right how I feel.

Thanks a lot!

DO NOT SEND AN EMAIL. trust me. i am in the exact same situation as you, and i sent an email. things just got worse. yes i was nice about the whole thing and not accusatory. it didnt matter. i still came off clingy and he still doesnt want to see me. Theres not a lot i can tell you to do. Just know that you are doing the best you can do. if he doesnt want to see you, you can't change that can you? manipulation or "telling him your feelings" wont help. i dont think anything can.

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14/f
so i have a boyfriend. of 3 months. i love him. and we have said i love you for about 2 months before we started dating. and he ALWAYS wants me to change, and stop talking to my best friend brandon. and he got REALLY pissed off cause when i went away for spring break i hung out with his friend rick, but nothing happened between us. i gave him a hug good bye and thats it. but we never told my boyfriend about it. and found out and now he thinks im fucking around. and he says were on break. and hes like we can still kiss and hold hands durring school. and im like whats break?

what are the standards for a break?
what are the standards when your my age for break?
advice please?

okay, you have made two serious mistakes. the first one was not listening to him in the first place when he told you not to talk to those other guys. you may say hes just being paranoid, but he isn't. the fact that you still talk to brandon even thought your bf asked you not to PROVES that you value your friendship with him over your relationship with your boyfriend. the bf is only being paranoid if you actually would listen to him (therefore proving you value him over the other guy) get it? your second mistake was agreeing to go on break. "i want to go on break" means that the guy wants to see if he can land somebody better, and if not, he'll come back to you. dump him STAT. and i suggest going out with brandon or rick. that's what you really want isnt it?

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Okay ill not to make this very long… there is this boy in my class and I really like him and have liked him for a long time [between 2-5 years lost count]. I am not sure if he likes me or not and I am scared to go ask him. We are actually really close friends and I also don’t want to ruin our relationship together. He means a lot to me and cannot get him out of my mind. My friends always ask me why I like him and I cant answer them because I have no clue why. I think that I might think he is cute funny but everyone else thinks that he isn’t cute. What should I do?

My other dilemma is that next year I am going to high school. I have a chose weather to go to one school or another and I don’t know which to go to. My friends are practically splitting. 5 of my friends are going to one school and him and 4 others are going to the other school. I really don’t want to loose him nor do I want to loose the other friends going to the other school. HELP this is really confusing and hard to deal with.

Sorry for how long it is and thank you in advance.

I suggest you take the plunge and tell him you like him. It sounds like you are at a very crutial time. You do not want to miss out. As far as the school goes, pick the one that you think is the best place for you. Don't decide based on your friends.

Good luck and let me know what happens:)

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This guy and I have liked each other for so long and this summer was awesome we were like gf and bf and then things died out. Like every month i would phone him to see how he was and we would talk for ages and yet he wouldnt talk to me in school. So A few weeks ago i invited him over and honestley its like awesome we were all cuddly and like a couple and then he left. Then at school, ignores me and then sometimes he talks to me and he's like 'u ok?' and i've been like 'umm yeh' but he promised to take me to the cinema and he didnt and then he promised to come over on Friday and he didnt. Should I confront him, thing is if i do- i will have to be drastic and say ' Look if you care for me, if you really care, you will put effort in as a friend, otheriwse i cant see this friendship working out?' and im scared he will be like 'whatever' and not talk to me again. He said to me ' we will always be friends if not more' and he's a sincere person- im really confused.

He is obviously insecure or nervous, but that is irrelivant. You have to understand that you cannot change him. Talking to him about it will not do any good. You have got to relax and start enjoying what you have. He seems like an okay guy. Just make sure you do not kiss him unless he commits to you (asks you out). The risk in your situation is that he may start taking advantage of you. If he tries to become your "friend with benefits" drop him.

Good luck, and let me know how things work out :)

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Ive got a friend who ive liked since ive known her, we made out a couple times and have admitted to liking eachother but then chose not to date, shes got a bf now, what kind of things could i do to make her know i really really like her still, do i wana be subtle or just come out and say that i want her? ladies, this is where i could use your help lol

I suggest you find someone else. This girl is already happy with someone else. Why would you want to rip their relationship apart? It would take a ton of effort and it's selfish. There is a huge chance it wouldn't work. Even if it did, would you really want to be with the kind of girl who would ditch her boyfriend? Becides, there are plenty of other attractive girls who have their eyes on you, I'm sure. Good luck on finding someone new, and let me know hwo things work out :)

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okay well this guy that i have like for 2 years decided to istant mesage me and started talkin to me and then one day he asked me if i like him....well i told him i did and now i have to im him first when he used to im me first all the time.....but now it's he is never on and if he is on he goes away real quick and he gives me this weird look at school. i don't know what is goin on.

I suggest you start talking to him in person. The fact that this topic is called "aol love" should demonstrate what your problem is. It is impossible to have a solid relationship that is mainly online. I mean sure, IM is a great way to start talking to people you are too shy to talk to in person but at some point you do have to actually have to take the plunge. Invite the guy to hang out with you and your friends after school sometime.

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I've known I was gay for a while but I still haven’t told anyone. There's this really really really cute and openly gay guy in my English class and I really wanna ask him out. MAJOR DILEMMA! Should I ask him out? Wait for him to ask me out? Or come out before asking ANYONE out?

You obviously feel that you are ready to come out of the closet seeing as your question is: "Should I ask him out? Wait for him to ask me out? Or come out before asking ANYONE out? " and none of those options involve keeping the clost doors shut. You also mention the fact that you "really wanna ask him out." Therefore I think the answer to your question is clear. You should ask him out.

You probably have some worries and fears about doing this, but it's important you learn to take chances in your life. It is also equally important that you take this relationship seriously once you do ask him out. In other words, I suggest you do not do any "below the waist activity" because that is immature and shows you do not take the other person seriously.

I wish you the best of luck, let me know what he says :)

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my boyfriends mom hates me, and for no reason. im in 7th grade, she's hated me since 5th. even my boyfriend doesn know why. and she loves my best friend. and the other night at his modified basketball game his mom asked my firned why he was dating me and then flat out said i dont like her! ergg. so we never get to hang out. and i really love when we get to hang out. we have so much fun and stuff. but we onyl get to hangout at games like the JV games and Varisty and such, but sometimes we go like a whole MONTH [ not really that long it seems like it though ] without seeing eachother. what should we do.. cuz i really love him and if i ever went to his house [ which would nvr happen his moms physco ] id feel really uncomfortable. someone please help!!!

What you probably feel like doing is telling her off for seperating you and your boyfriend, but that will get you nowhere. Do not write his mother a letter, sit down and talk to her face to face. Tell her that you know she doesn't like you. Then apologize and tell her that you think her son is a wonderful boy. Then back off a little bit. Stop trying to get yourself invited over to his house. You are clearly not welcome there. Try inviting him over to your house instead. Above all, stop calling his mom "physco" and stuff. This is the woman who raised your boyfriend. She deserves some respect, and to be honest you are only in the seventh grade. Your boyfriend is not about to risk his relationship with his mother for you, and he shouldn't. However, that doesn't mean things can't still work out. It just means you should aviod his mother.

Good luck, and let me know how things work out :)

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What is a girl spose to get a guy for valentines day?

A good move is to ask the guy what he wants. Find out what he would like and get it for him. Aside from that, chocolates are classic. If you are really stuck, you could get him a gift certificate to his favourite store. However, I personally think it's nicer to put more thought into it than that. Just go with your gut feeling and make sure to get him a nice card!

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what is a girl that is 13 and b/f is 15 supost to get him for v-day?
i was thinking gift card to his fav. store and like some chocolates

good idea or no?
thanx

That sounds great to me! You could also make him a nice card. I am also celebrating Valentines Day with a boyfriend for the first time in my life, so I know picking gifts can be hard. Let me know if he likes what he gets! :)

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So i recently asked a Q about what I should do with this guy I like hwo is 18 and I am almost 15 on whether or not we should date. And I have been getting anwsers of "its a bad idea" Well what about, Not officially dating, but hang out, hug, kiss, hold hands, and talk and stuff? Is that still wrong? I care about him a lot and I just want to share something with him... Eeeck I do not know what to do. Help!

The reason people think it is a bad idea is because he might jsut use you for sex. Being a friend with benefits is like letting him do all of the physical stuff without making him commit to you. Actually, there is nothing wrong with you dating him as long as you do not do any below the waist activity. It would be a far better decision to date him as opposed to being his plaything. However, if you do plan on dating him you have to understand that he will probably pressure you for sex and you will be forced to constantly struggle with turning him down. If you believe you would have the strength to say no, then ask him out. If not, cut him out of your life completely. Guys do not respect girls who let them have everything for free. You cannot have true love without respect.

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so yeah i really looove this guy. and he used 2 go to ma school but now he's in high school (I'm in 8th grade)
so i dunno if he remembers me - i hope he does. sometimes we talked and stuff
and i wanna send him a valtentines day card. so now i'm asking. what should i write that will melt his heart and makes him like me? i'm not saying LOVE ME. just liiike. well love would be good 2 though =D
so yeah ...help?

There are several things to consider here.

#1 Keep it light. You should avoid words like "love" as being too serious will scare him off.

#2 Be funny. Throw in something sassy or snappy. Think of something he would laugh at and throw it in. For example, I once sent the guy I liked a valentine with dancing monkeys.

#3 Pickup lines can be used, but only as a joke. The reason that pickup lines sometimes fall flat on their faces is if the person delivering them acts like they actually mean them. Find one that is obviously a joke without sounding slutty. For example: Do you carry another weapon with you besides your eyes?

#4 Sign your real name. Being direct is always better than playing games.

#5 Add a P.S. asking him for his MSN/AIM screenname so you can talk to him online more often.

Good luck, and let me know how it turns out:) You can reach me at: http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=koolkid54&prev=1

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