countriebabe08's advice column | countriebabe08's Advice About Love Life

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Q: ight well me n my girlfriend are haveing problems right now people are telling her stuff bout me n now shes hangin out wit her ex no im not sayin im judgein cuz i trust her but now i find out she added him again on facebook n idk i need help i guess

Hmm, this is a bit of a toughie. Sorry to tell you this, but if you're thinking these things then some part of you doesn't trust her. You need to figure out why.
I am going to say this, however. It is possible for exes to remain friends. Just because they are hanging out again doesn't mean they're doing anything. If they were together a long time, there will be feelings involved between them. If it was a small little relationship, then it's highly possible they got over that and became friends.
Now about her friends telling her things about you. Are they false allegations? If so you need to tell her that. If you want it to work, you need to make it work. She's likely to believe her friends, especially if they've been friends a long time. But if she truly loves you she will hear you out. Hope I helped! :)
-countrie

Q: ok, my bofeiend and i had this HUGE figh i broke up with him...to to make a long story short he called me a whore and went PSYCHO! so lately..ive been feeling really different towards him. so theres this other guy named dave and hes the sweetest guy ever..and i REALLY like him..but i don't know if he likes me.. yesterday on the bus..he was like touching my leg the whole way home and it was like his hand was just resting on my leg! and when i got back together with my boyfriend...he seemed mad...but he says its because my boyfriend doesnt deserve me.. i dont know what to do..everyone says i should break up with my boyfriend..because he's psycho..but i do love him..but im scared that hes gonna go psycho if i break up with him... and i had no idea that he was like this...until i broke up with him the other day...and its been 9 months..so im pretty deep into the relationship...please help.shouold i date dave who i have a HUGE amount of feelings for or my bf, who when he has his good days is better than dave but when he has his down days...is the biggest A**hole EVER and he's psycho..?? please just give me ADVICE do not tell me how bad of a person i am because i like someone else when im dating somoeone..i know i am already..

A few months ago I got out of a relationship like that. Our relationship had been on and off for a year. If you really think he is really bad and he will end up hurting you on a bad day, you don't need to be with him. My ex was like that and sometimes I was scared of him. What happened was I caught him flirting with another girl and ended it right then and there. After that, I ignored his every call to try and get me back, he told me how bad he felt, how much he missed me, but I could never be with him again. Break up with him and tell him that when he can calm down and get his life straight, you might have another chance. But don't leave him hanging. If you found someone else you think would be way better than the other guy, then I say take that opportunity, and drop the one who you know is not the one for you.

Q: Hi, I really hope you can help; i've gotten mixed responses from others...

Basically, my BF discovered that in my senior year of college (I graduated last year) I had taken two semesters worth of judo classes and he thought this was really funny b/c I don't look like, I guess, a "typical" jock chick--that is i'm not muscular or buff or whatever...i'm your stereotypical "girly girl" in appearance--tall, skinny, blond hair, blah blah blah and I'm like 125 lbs....so he's laughing at me, calling me "judogirl", etc., and I was fine w/all that, if a little annoyed, but then he made a mistake: he challenged me to a wrestling match...and I beat him.

He outweighs me by like 40 lbs. and is pretty strong but he didn't understand that my judo skills would use his strength against him and he just couldn't believe I won. I figured it was a one-time deal, but he was so bent out of shape that he's challenged me several times since then, and I've defeated him every time. It would be OK if he didn't take it so seriously, but he just becomes this mean pouty jerk when he loses and keeps challenging me and now i've refused to wrestle him b/c it's no fun and I hate his sexist attitude as well. But refusing to wrestle just makes him angrier and he says stuff like "you're just afraid i'll figure out your 'tricks' and win...it's so annoying!

I've considered just faking it and letting him win but I don't REALLY want to do that b/c I'm proud of my skills, and just wish he would be too...plus when he baits me w/all this "you're just a girl" crap, it gets my goat and i'm more than happy to throw him to the floor and pin him when he gets too tired to fight me off...

Have you ever beaten a boy at something athletic--whether martial arts or sports--or know a girl who has? B/c maybe if I can tell him he's not the only one he won't feel so bad...

OK, let me start off by saying thanks for posting a question in my inbox.....

Every guy is the same. They all think girls are just there to look pretty, and most of them think they are there to protect the common female.

Your answer....no, i have never beaten a guy at anything like that...I am a very small girl and my parents babied me so i don't really know any self-defense. Be glad you know enough self-defense to make it out there on your own. What he needs to realize is that many girls out there can take care of themselves, even if it takes challenging them all to do so. You should invite him to one of your classes, so he can see that other girls, like ones in your class, can fight and stand up for themself. You can't just sit there and let him think every female needs constant protection, and you don't need a bodyguard. If he feels he needs to be a bodyguard to someone, you don't cut the credit. Just sit him down and tell him, I don't need a bodyguard, I can take care of myself. If he can't deal with that, then he needs to find someone else he can baby and protect.

Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q:
Whenever I'm in a car, I'll look over and they'll be a hott guy in the car next to me and he'll be STARING at me. It's so annoying! Guys always do that. And I went to Yankee Stadium and guys were staring at my ass and I wasn't wearing anything revealing! And like if there's a car in front of me, I'll be in the front seat and boys will turn around and stare me down. It's embarassing! Especially when I'm with my dad, haha. I'm only 13! I don't do anything to make them look either. Yet no one in my school even gives two looks at me. I don't get it!! Does this ever happen to any of you? I can't go a day without a random 15 year old guy flirting with me. It's kinda fun when I'm with my friends but when I'm with my parents it's like AH GET AWAY. Haha but if this happens to other people I'd love to hear about it...

Yeah, that's just how guys are. Chances are, if a guy just randomly stares at you from a car or a random place you will never see him again, so it won't matter. When your parents are around, just ignore them.

Q: 14/f

i need help. can anyone give directions on how to make out?

Making out just comes naturally. There are no instructions. However, just don't open your mouth too wide. And don't make it too sloppy. Most guys don't like that. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: my boyfriend gets extremely jealous whenever another guy compliments me, such as on myspace picture comments, and he sends them messages saying really mean things! ( i have his myspace password..shh haha) he told my guy friend to go to hell when all my friend said was "hey how are u youre pretty hot now". Is this jealousy a sign of how much he loves me or is he just very insecure? or both?

It shows how much he loves you. I do it to my boyfriends and it usually ends up in break ups cuz my boyfriends don't like it when I get jealous like that. It's how he's saying, "She's mine, back off." He just doesn't want to lose you to anybody else who might be flirting with you. I know because I'm always in his situation. I don't want to lose my boyfriend, so I talk girls that he talks to, asking them what they talk about and stuff. So, yes. It's basically showing that he loves you. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: ok I recently met a guy through his mother, they recently moved into town and asked me to go to a movie with the family. I dont know if he liked hanging out with me or not, he gave me a ride home and actually took me to his apt while he changed clothes before we went over to his parents house again, and didn't take me home until 12:30am but I dont know if i should ask him to hang out again or not.

Well, what you need to ask yourself, is do you want to hang out with him again? If you do, then ask him. The worst he could do is say no. and He was the one that asked you to the movies, right? that could be a sign that he doesn't mind being with you. Also, if he kept you out till 12:30, he might have been trying to get every last minute in with you while not getting you home too late. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: ok.
im slow at things like this
so can someone please help me out!
this may be dumb and you guys might think im like a geek or something
but what are all the bases.
i mean i no some
but now all. so what are all of them??

The bases are really different for everyone. It all depends on your maturity level and how far you've gone already. Like for one of my friends, base one will be, touching (like holding hands), and for another it'll be kissing. Like I said, it basically all depends on your maturity level. You've got to set your own bases. Nobody can tell you what they are. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: 16/f

hey! what are some cute love songs that i could use for myspace or just download! im really going through a hard time right now im trying to get over this boy that has a girlfriend but i just cant stop thinking about him..

well right now i have i dont want to miss a thing by aerosmith on my myspace.

but i was just wondering if there are any cute songs or anything that could relate to me!?

Well, If you're trying to get over someone, you surely don't want love songs. Unless they help you. You could check out this country band called Lonestar. They don't have a myspace, which made me sad when I found out, but you could download some of their songs. I feel they have some REALLY good love songs. Honestly, love songs don't work for me when I'm trying to get over someone. So I listen to usually country. It has lots of heartbreak songs that I relate to and help me pace. Or if you like rock, it helps me too. But if love songs help, like I said, lonestar is good, as well as um, Keith Urban has some really good love songs. Hope I helped.
~countriebabe08

Q: Okay well I really really really like this guy and The thing is im not talkitive and like all the girls always you know talk and stuff and all I do is laugh . And the guy i like loves girls that talk alot. How can i make myself talk more and some people call me the silent one wich im not so please help me? So my question is How can I start to talk more ?
thanks.

Ok I used to be just like you. I would sit there and listen to what everyone was saying cuz I was too shy to put in my own input. The way I got over that was that I made some outgoing friends and started hanging out with them and all their friends. At first, it didn't do anything, but as I got to know and trust these people more, I ended up being like them. Now I can go up to any random guy and at least ask them their name. I'm still pretty shy, but I have gotten a little more outgoing due to my new friends. Now, I'm not saying ditch the old ones, cuz friends are always good to have, but start hanging out with more outgoing people, or you can invite your old friends along. Hope I helped.

bio

About me...I'm 21 and living a normal life. My husband and I just recently got married and we work and do the main things that keep us going. I love to give advice to people in need. I have experienced a lot in my short life, so don't be shy!