about

i'm 18. i live in boulder, colorado. i may be young, but i know more than my years say i do. ask me anything and i'll do my best to help.

advice

Female,16
The guy i like is kinda shy about girls he has friend that are girls but i mean hes never had a girl friend or asked a girl out any way we are friends and ive liked him a long time, and i figured it was just time to tell him. I guess he really had no clue.. yesterday i talk to him alone after school, and said you know i like you and he was silent scuffing his feet and half smiling and he said THANK YOU.. tell me what is that suppose to mean? thank yOU!? and then he said wow this really caught me off guard i i.. and his friend walked by and siad lets go, i need a ride home, so hes said well i guess ill talk to you later and left...do you think maybe he jsut didnt know what to say.. i would assume if he had no feelings like that towards me, he would of just said oh well i like you as a friend or somthing. but i thank you i couldnt tell if that was good or bad.. its so neutral.. as a guy waht do you think means.. a few people have told me they think he likes me and he acts like he does.. what do you think the tank yo means

well, id consider a "thank you" a good sign. he most likely had no idea what to say. he may have feelings for you and not know how to express them. remember, its harder for guys to show feeling. my advice is to play this one by ear.

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I have a serious thing for one of the guys at school. He's gotten hurt pretty bad so he puts up a barrier and doesn't let anyone get in. He's cyncial and rude, but when it's just him and I, he's a sweetheart. He talks to me about things he doesn't talk about with other people. Am I just therapist or does he feel the same way about me that I do about him? Give your advice oh mighty Warnstedt!

well well well. this guy sounds like me. haha. Honestly, I couldn't tell you what he feels (unless of course i know who it is...). The only thing I can tell you is that he trusts you. And that is more important to him than a relationship. I know it would be for me. He may be testing the water before a relationship, or he could just very much trust you. If you want to know how he feels, ask him. Be honest with him about your feelings, show him that you trust him as much as he trusts you. That's all I can think of for this one.

P.S. Sorry I took so long to reply, my computer died and i don't have the net at home anymore.

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Guys only please-just a quick question wondering if i could get some feedback

i used to have a friends with benefits deal with this kid-and after going on for about a year it ended just recently about 3 months ago-my question-do you think it would be akward for me to IM and just start talking to him him seeing as i've never done so before or as a guy would u find that akward and uncalled for? just wondering thanks a lot

Go right ahead and talk to him. If he doesn't want to talk, he won't. But hey, thats called risk and it governs life.

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I was supposed to be a virgin until I found the most miraculous guy in the world, where feelings would be amazing and everything would be right (you know, that old hat) but then I lost it being dumb and forgetting who it was, only remembering it was a guy. Anyways, it's a secret from everyone now and it's annoying as hell. I don't feel kosher.

This is a ough one. I would rather not talk about it openly because it's a very private thing currently. I would love to talk to you about it, but privately. If you have AIM, IM me @ Seph1r0ph when I'm online. If not AIm then I'm on MSN messenger at ph03n1xr4v3n@hotmail.com (this is also e-mail, so e-mail me please)

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my boyrfiend and i have been together for two years we are both 17 and he is in the army well in oct. of this year he was suppose to be deployed to baghdad for a year and a half, which ruined our plans of going to college together so i planned on staying home and going to a school near by till he got back well turns out he actaully wont be going, but now he has this mindset of not going to college at all, which i think is pretty stupid. He said that when he turns 18 this fire department has some kind of job waiting for him. he said he would be making 40k a year and insists that he doesnt HAVE to go to college at all. He hasnt really made up his mind which I think is unfair to me b/c what he does effects me and i am again finding myself putting my life on hold for him...we grad. in May and im not committed to anything school wise which really scares me Im so lost and dont know what to do getting someone else point of view would be awesome thanks....

Andrea

First off, let me congradulate you on your relationship lasting as long as it has. It is a rare thing this day in age. Now for advice, tell him knowledge is power. The fire department sound great if they will actually do that, and I'm sure they would help him with college. If he thinks that he can make it in this world without college, he is sadly miscalculating the very country he's singed up to protect. On a side note, don't ever let another person effect what you want to do in life. If you want to go to a certain school, tell him that you want to go there and that he can come with you or he can stay and you two could try the whole long distance thing. He should be open to letting you do what you choose to do with your life. Whatever you do, don't let him talk you out of your dreams. I would take a semester off and figure out what both of you want to do with your lives and then move on in it from there.

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What do you do when everyone tells you you're something you're not, just to make you feel better? I am tired of it. Everyone says I'm not fat when I know I am, and they say boys are chsasing after me, when they are running. It just makes me feel worse and they won't stop. I don't care about boyfriends. Most of them are jerks anyways. I have friends that are boys, but no one has ever shown affection toward me, for real. I don't care but I want my friends to leave me alone about it. What do I do?

-TearsThatFall

tell them to bugger off when they start. or believe them.

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ive been going out with this boy since last friday (6 days) i like him so much and firday im going to a dance with him should i makeout with him or is it too soon

things like this should never be "should i or shouldn't i". just let what happens happen. within your boundries of course. if you want to make out with him, go for it. start it out with just a few random kisses and work from there.

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alrigty then im hearing all these stories at school {not that i belive them} about how every one is having sex i personally dont belive it. god says not to have premarital relations plus you should want to wait until u are married to have sex. anyway every one talks about how all the popular kids are doing it im almost 15 i personallyam appaled and am wonering where all the desensy went in the world some one tell me.

anytime before 16 is far to young to have sex anyway. now i am not christian or catholic so i do believe in premarital sex. but i also beleave it should be with someone you love, not just any person you see when you're horny. and the desensy left with the "election" of our Totalitarian "president" who cant see farther than his oil fields. you can blame it all on him. and hollywod.

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15/F--I like this guy, and its the first time I've liked a guy mostly based on his personality and having looks coming second. I'm not a shallow person but when I usally like guys I'm attracted to them physically. But he is a great guy and he has told me before that I was pretty, and that I was a great person all around. I decided to finally do something about wanting to be more than friends, and a friend of mine is going to talk to him tomorrow. I'm happy that he will find out, but also kinda scared because I feel that there might be no chance. When he compliements me, he says it when I feel down about my looks and everything so I feel that its just his way of trying to make me happy. So when he asks me about me liking him, online (we go to different schools) I am going to be at a loss for words. I want to say everything is true, but on the other hand I want to run and hide. I am just so insecure about myself and what he will think of me, its making me crazy. I'm not really asking for specific advice, just comments and words of enncouragment. What should I tell him when he asks me about it? Thanks and I'll rate you a 5 no matter what!

first, dont ever do the "thru-another-friend" type of finding out if he likes you. just tell him ya like him. and do it yourself. as for his compliments, he may give them all the time and you just dont notice unless you're feeling down. this is quite common. just be yourself and dont try to be someone other than yourself just to be with him. if he doesnt like you for you, he's not worth your time as a boyfriend. one of my favorite quotes will be my last advice for this evening: No man is worth your tears, and if he is, he won't make you cry.

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ok my mom's b/f's son (lets call him chip) hooked me and his friend (call him dip) up but now chip found out that me and dip want 2 makeout friday and hes telling a bunch of ppl so now dip isnt sure if he wants 2 go out b/c also chip's dad threatned to kill dip if he tried 2 do anything with me.. i like dip and dip likes me should i try 2 end our relationship or try to talk chip into not beliving we are gonna makeout soon?

tell chip to shut his big yapper and tell dip that maybe you should wait awhile to move any further in this relationship. if dip agrees to that, hes in it for more that physical reasons, if he doesnt, he never really liked you in the first place. as for chip, hes like extended family, almost a brother, just smack the kid if he doesnt stop.

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Okay, so i went out with this guy a i really really like him and stuff but when we went out we never saw eachother (diff schools) he acted like he didn't really wanna talk to me, we didnt talk on the phone or anything, and yeah it was weird so i dumped him. We have been friends for a while and when we arent going out we go to movies and stuff n talk on the phone all the time and yeah. I really like him, but i dont want to go out with him unless things can change...but i dont really know what to do. hes always like "i wish you would go out with me" and that he really likes me and stuff. But now hes mad about it and he told me he might just go out with this other girl because it doesn't matter and i was like crying (it was over the internet) because i still really like him! and i guess it seemed like he was trying to make me mad by saying stuff about the other girl or whatever but yeah i dont know what to do..should i go out with him again? or just forget him? or what??

My advice on this (being that kind of man) is to just tell him how you feel. After that, explain how your relationship didn't work and what would HAVE to change for it to work again. As for the talking about other girls, my best guess would be jealosy tactics. If that is the case, he really does like you and he doesnt know how else to express it. remember, guys were taught as children to supress all emotions except anger.

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