Hey you guys I'm always open for questions even hard ones so feel free to ask me absolutely anything that's on your mind. I'm here to help! :)
Website: Ask Rachel
Gender: Female
Location: Maryland
Member Since: March 2, 2009
Answers: 15
Last Update: November 14, 2009
Visitors: 2367
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18/m
My girlfriend and I have been together for a year or so. I knew her for a year before things became "official" so to speak. She lives a few states away. We've had great chemistry ever since we met. that first year and up until almost 6 months ago, we hadn't spent much time together in person but last July I went and spent 8 days with her and her family and things became 100x better than they had been. I realized I loved her when I realized that I wanted her to be the best she could be, I wanted her to be safe, I wanted her to be happy no matter what. She has said the same for me and I love her very much. I definitely could see spending the rest of my life with her.
About a month ago I just out of nowhere couldn't feel the excitement I had felt when I thought about her. I felt kind of lonely, but after praying about it and pushing away the feeling away, I felt just in love with her as I had been before. a week later, the same feeling came. I was on the phone with her and I just started crying. I don't know where it came from. I'm not a big crier but I just couldn't stop. I felt so empty, as if I didn't know how to love her anymore. I was frightened that the next time I see her (december 26th) I wont know how to love her or how to be excited.
Its been about a month now of off and on of this feeling. but this weekend has by far been the worst ever. I DONT WANT TO LOOSE THIS GIRL! I love her so much, but lately I just haven't been able to be happy.
Is it just stress? is it just that I miss her? I've never felt so bad in my life. She by far is the most amazing girl I have ever met. but right now I just cant seem to be excited about her. Im so lost. Help me! (link)
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Hey don't worry. You're not alone. A lot of times this feeling comes from stress and presure being put on in your life. Is there a lot of that? You should probably just give yourself some space. DOn't talk on the phone for a littl ebit and see how you feel. See if you miss her and if you want to hear her voice again. Don't beat yourself up about it just give it time. That's all you need :)
Fortunately it will all pull back together.
if you have anymore problems don't hesitate to ask :)
good luckk
love,
rachel
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i like a boy, he acts as if he likes me but acts different in front of his "HOMEES", we talk on the phone alot, what do i do, please help me Kiyya(please) (link)
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Does he act like he likes you when you two are alone? If so, then he probably thinks his friends don't approve. Either that or he's just shy and doesn't feel comfortable with public displays of affection. If you talk on the phone a lot then i=that means he's comfortable with you just not the combination of you and his friends. All you can do is talk to him. Tell him how you feel but don't lay it on too thick or don't beat around the bush just be straight forward. Then he'll know that this isn't a joke and he needs to decide what he wants. Give him space to decide but don't seem desperate like you're waiting on him every second. Just make sure you guys TALK about it. That's the most important thing. Don't avoid the topic becuase then it's just going to get worse. Remember, communication is key. Wish ya the best of luck :)
love,
Rachel
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My ex boyfriend and I have been off and on for the past 5 years. And we just recently broke up and i really want to get him back cause I know he still likes me. But I have competition with another girl. What should I do to make him come back to me, never forget about me, and never stop thinking about me? (link)
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Okay first it's amazing that you guys still pull through for eachother for a whole five years because that's a long time. So clearly, he still wants to be with you. Otherwise, he would have broke it off a long time ago. Now this other girl, how long has she been in the picture? If shes recent, then it shouldn't be problem. Just talk to your ex about it. Communication is key remember that. But if he's liked this girl for a while now, then talk to her about it. Ask her how she feels about him. Let her know how you feel about him. Make sure she knows what she's getting herslef into.if you want him to come back to you then try and seem distant. Let him know how you feel but don't over do it. Seem like you don't have time to wait. It's kinda like making him think you're on a clock. If he texts you, ignore it. Answer a few hours after like you've been busy. If he calls, don't pick up. Then call him back later. Occasionally talk to him in school maybe flirt a little but don't give him all of your attention. Then he'll realize that this is no joke and he needs to act fast or he could lose you. Good luck! and I hope you guys work out :)
love,
Rachel
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There is this guy that Ive had a crush on for more than 2 years now and I cant get the courage to tell him how I feel.So my question is....how do i get him to notice me alot?Thank you all for trying! (link)
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I totally know how you feel. Key word: communicate. period. That's all you have to do. Talk to him whenever you see him. Start off with a small conversation like asking him about his hobbies and interests. And if there's a sports game going on at school or maybe even a school play, ask him if he's going. Seem interested in his life and maybe he'll surprise you and become interested in yours. Flirt with him a little. Not too much though or he'll think your desperate. I have a friend who flirts with guys constantly and honestly, she's never been in a relationship for longer than a week. Communication is key, remember that. Don't worry about it much I'm sure your an awsome girl and if you need any more advice, don't hesitate to ask! :)
Love,
Rachel
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first of all i have a boyfriend hes aamazing and ive been with him for almost a year but i think of him now as more of a brotherly figure and my best friend then a boy friend. it actally kind of grosses me out when we do stuff now. and now ive met this guy who i am very attracted to and who i want to be with and i have actually talked to him about the pickle that i'm in and he wants me too.
please give me advice on how to break up with the boy who loves me and still be friends. (link)
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I think you should just tell him exactly that. That he's amazing but you think of him more as a brother and a best friend. Tell him you still love him but want to be friends. If he really loves you, he would understand and want what's best for you. Don't sweat about it but when you do end things with him, don't instantly jump to the next guy. Give it some time. Tell that boy you like that since you just got out of a relationship, you need some time to think. If he wnats you, he'll wait. Don't worry, if you need anymore advice, I'm here :)
Good luck with it!
Love,
Rachel
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Alright so theres this guy at uni.hes just a normal guy doesnt really stand out from the crowed and kinda quiet.it seems like everytime i look at him hes looking back at me.its as if we have this subconsious conection..i dont no if he feels it but i do.i dont even know him i dont no anything about him but i think now i have a crush on him.today i saw him walk past and my heart started to burn and my stomache tingled..does this mean i liek him?i havent noticed him looking at other girls like he does with me(ok this is actually starting to sound very stupid) but why would he be looking at me would it be because hes interesting in me or just because he likes to look at things?im so confused and dont no what to do should i forget him?i have tried to smile but by the time seem to have the courage to smile he looks away or the smile doesnt come out. i want to talk to him but hes never really alone.The only time he was was at the library but i was with my friends..what should i do?are there ways i can talk to him and not look like a fool?any advice at all would be appreciated!im f/19 and havent had a bf in over a year due to the last one being abusive and cheating on me and threatning me... (link)
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Hey. Don't worry so much about it. It's obvious you have a crush on him and clearly he's thinking about you a little more than normal since he's always looking at you. I don't think he's looking because he like to look at things haha. I think he likes you but is just too shy to go up and talk to you. And when you said he always looks away when you actually have the courage to talk to him that just means he's too nervous to make eye contact. that's a definite sign a guy likes you but doesn't want to approach you about it in fear of rejection. He's just really shy, trust me. He needs some kind of signal that you want to get to know him better so start up a conversation when you see im in the halls or something. If you keep hesitating he's going to slowly pull away. Let him know that you're there and that you're not going anywhere. About your ex being abusive and threatning. FORGET ABOUT HIM. I don't know him but I'm guessing he was a jerk and a self conceited bastard (pardon my french). You seem like a girl that deserves better. So just follow your heart. Whatever your heart tells you to do, do it. But most of all just try to communicate with this guy. Whenever you catch him looking at you, flash him a smile. He'll probably feel embarrassed that you caught him at first but then he'll think "hey she was looking at me too" so give it a shot. A simple smile could get you far. Good luck :)
love,
Rachel
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Okay, so, this may be long-im sorry. But Its been on my mind for 2 years and i feel like if someone out there feels this way too, they could help me as to what to do.
2 years ago,I had a boyfriend that i really did like. He was great, we felt instantly connected. Somehow,i loved him right when i saw him...i don't know how. But back then i was shy and unhappy, so i couldn't be who i was with him-seeing as he just made me even more nervous.I recall one time,when someone actually said "All guys want is to get in your pants!" and he whispered in my ear "i would never." I knew he ment it,its just who he was. After a month or two, i wimped out and broke up with him. For reasons like-we didn't talk much,hangout,and i was positive he could find someone better. And even though it was that short of a time-i still feel like i should be with him. I've found myself liking guys that have his features. His personality is exactly like mine,now(2 years later). He's moved on,had other girlfriends. After we broke up,he was so mean to me.i told him to never talk to me again. Then he apologized and i asked him if we could ever be friends and he said no. Then months later of not talking he comes out of no where and tells me he has a girlfriend,i say "thats good :D"(obviously i'm going to be happy for him) then he signs off of aim.That was the last time we talked.(about 2 years ago? maybe)
Which brings me to now.I actually think he hates me. See,starting this year-I see him everywhere(in school). He looks away every time i look at him-so do i. I went to a dance the other day(we met at a dance)And he was there. Everything came back to me,so i decided to dance near him with my friends.And as strange as it is..it felt good to be even near him. and my friend who knows about the situation was telling me he was staring at me.I was really happy,then really sad.I've been thinking about him a lot lately. I get these feelings-and it feels like he's thinking about me too. But he hates me. So i don't know what to do,i REALLY want to smile at him or say hi to him in the halls. But i know he won't do it back.
Leading to the grand fanalie, Should I try to talk to him again? Has anyone ever felt this way before? What did you do? Is there such thing as a connection between people that have to be together? Lastly, Why do you think he hates me,even after 2 years? Anything,anything to help this feeling go away,please. Thankyou (link)
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Should you try to talk to him again? YES. absolutely. It's clear that you both have unfinished business to take care of, and a great amount of feelings for eachother. Don't worry, plenty of people have this same feeling and have been in situations like this. You are NOT alone so don't ever feel like you are. I bet you're a great girl and it sounds like you two are meant for eachother. So try this, get the two of you alone somewhere maybe at lunch or after school and TALK. very important because the key to a successful relationship (even just friendships) is communitcation. Tell him what you told me. Tell him you feel good when you're near him and that you've been thinking a lot about him lately. If you two do have that special connection he will give in and tell you his feelings too. And he doesn't hate you. Trust me. He's just still uncomfortable and hurt about the breakup. The feelings he had for you didn't just go away. And neither did your feelings. Let him know exactly how you feel and ask him what he truly wants. Let him know you care and that you didn't mean to break his heart. Comfort him because it looks like he needs a lot of it. When he instant messaged you just to tell you he had a girlfriend clearly meant he wanted you to be jealous becuase he wants you. (as stupid as that sounds haha)I know i told you a lot but i really hope I helped. I want you and him to have that awsome amazing relationship all over again :)
P.S Good luck!
Love,
Rachel
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14/f/us
freshman
i like this guy a lot. we talk almost every night on facebook and we talk a little in school. i flirt with him but im not exactly sure how to tell if a guy is interested or is flirting back. also my friend that sits in front of him in my class always turns around and flirts with him a lot. i dont want to tell her that i like him becuase im pretty sure that she likes him to and if she likes him as much as me then it wouldnt be fair to ask her to stop. i dont mind them talking but i never get jealous intill now. how can i tell if hes interested? also im really shy so i cant ask him who he likes or anything. i dont have that kind of confidence.
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I can totally relate with what you're going through. This same thing happened to me a little while ago. The only thing you need is a little confidence. That's what usually comes between people and their crushes. First, just simply ask your friend if she likes the guy and be honest with her. Tell her you like him and if she does too then you guys should make a compromise. If both of you guys want him equally then he's off limits. period. becuase there's no point in ruining your friendship unless one of you is willing to sacrifice this boy to make the other happy. Also, talk to the guy. Casually start up a conversation in class like before or after the bell rings. Ask him about his interests and things that will make him feel like you care more than he thought. That would signal an open door for him and his care for you will also grow. Definetely don't ask him who he likes because that would be just a little too personal and Straight to the point. See if he spends a lot of time with a specific other girl to indicate if he's dating, or interested or not. Just remember, build up confidence one step at a time. Trust me. You're not alone on this one :)
Hope I helped!
Love, Rachel ♥
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