I will give straight up answers to anything that I know about/have had experience with. I may be young but I have been through a lot in my life. If I know an answer to a question I will try and answer it for you...if you need relationship advice I will give my piece and it is your choice whether or not to take it. I have been told I am an advice guru so I will be used as I am needed!
Gender: Female
Occupation: Student
Age: 19
Member Since: September 24, 2008
Answers: 18
Last Update: February 13, 2009
Visitors: 2772
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okay so i have been dating my guy for 7 months and we each went all out for xmas time gifts so im kind of thinking i dont wanna go all out money-wise for v-day. but i still want it to be good you know? i also worry that he will go all out for me and then i will just feel bad so any suggestions would be great. i wont see him on valentines by the way so it cant be like dinner or anything like that... so far i think im getting him a new nice wallet with something in it-probably a note or a pic. and then a frame with a picure of us. maybe some cute boxers? and chocolate and other food of course...anything else?? thanks :) (link)
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If he goes all out on you and you don't go all out on him...do not feel bad. Guys don't notice who spent more on who...only girls do. It's better for you to not go all out on him because then YOU will be mad if he just gets you chocolate or flowers or something.
Make sure whatever you get him, is something he can use. My husband always says that he always loves getting socks, and under-shirts and stuff like that. He hates the cutesey teddy bears and singing frogs with hearts on them and stuff...because...well they just sit there and don't get used.
I know socks isn't really romantic...so ask him what he needs in his daily life. OR...you could just pay attention to what he says he needs...like a shaver or something like that. Practical is not always romantic so you could pair it with a picture of you two with a homemade frame that tells him how you feel about you two.
And yes, I agree...guys are difficult to buy for!
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The last two guys I've liked (One I liked for seven months, but I'm over him. The other one I've only liked for about two weeks and I'm not totally over him) have liked me "as a friend."
Yes, I know it's good to have guy friends (So don't go on and on about how good it is, please. I know!), but I don't want to be JUST THE FRIEND forever! It hurts seeing my friends get guys so easily when I can't even get a guy I like to like me. What should I do? (link)
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Well, I'm going to try and not sound shallow and mean when I say this so bear with me.
What do you wear when you are around your guy friends?
Do you do your hair and make up?
Do you try and flirt at all?
What do they know about you?
The reason I ask these questions is because ALL guys want girls who put an effort into what they look like...so if you're just hanging out in sweats and have your hair in a pony tail...they are probably not going to look at you in a sexual way (and trust me...when guys are looking for a girlfriend, they think of sex).
Try flirting with guys right when you start hanging out with them. I've noticed that if guys see you as a friend for a long time (no flirting) then they will probably always think of you like that. Try telling them they smell good...touch their arms...etc...
Now, the final question I asked is what do they know about you. If you want a guy to be your boyfriend...do not tell him everything about your life! Guys want girls who have a little mystery about them...don't burp in front of them, don't fart in front of them, don't say "I have to pee" when you go to the bathroom, and DO NOT tell them when you are on your period...because that totally grosses them out!
I'm not saying to not be yourself, but if you are doing anything opposite of what I said...that may be why all of them see you as friends.
If you don't do any of those things...then I have no idea...maybe you could try asking your guy friends why they don't see you as girlfriend material. Don't get offended and cry at what they say either, because they don't want to hurt you...but maybe you need them to tell you so you know what to do (or not to do) next time.
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well i have a boyfrind and we have kissed but it only lasts for like one second becase he like pulls away. i really want to make out with him and i think he really wants to make out with me but we just dont...what do i do?? (link)
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This could be for a lot of reasons. Do you kiss when people could show up at any minute? Do you kiss when you are about to do something else? Think about the situations that you are in. Also, he may not want to maul you because he wants to respect you and not make you feel violated. I would say that when you get alone with him and you have the time and privacy to ful-on make out...grab the back of his head pull him to you kiss him deeply and say "I want to make-out with you" and I can pretty much guarantee that he'll be totally on board for it!
Hope this helps!
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I have a strange situation here. I'm 18/m, in college, and there is a girl in my class with whom I was really good friends with, then we added each other on myspace (I REALLY like her by now), I ask her to the movies, during the movie we cuddle/hold hands. If felt right and she was the one who initiated everything.
Then the next day she asks me if we are dating, to which I say yes, then she says that we should be going out instead, and on her profile she puts the 'in a relationship' status. Then the next day we have class together, and she seemed really seemed more quiet. That night she tells me she might be a lesbian, or bisexual, but she still really likes me and wants to work this out. Then she tells me she only likes me as a friend but we can still hang out and stuff. She changed her relationship status to single. We went out to dinner, it was awkward, and she kind of completely stopped talking to me since. I asked her about it and she told me she wasn't mad at me, and she'll explain next class. She didn't. I asked her about it again and she said she'll explain this weekend. Well, its Sunday night, and she still hadn't said a word to me. She won't even look at me.
I'm confused. First she was telling me how much she liked me (I believe she was being genuine, just trust me on this), then how she didn't like me that way and how she still wants to work this out, now she isn't talking to me at all. And we are in the same group of friends and she still talks to them. Whats happening? What should I do? She is 17 by the way but also in college. (link)
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I would have to say that she is a lesbian. Girls don't tell guys that they are bisexual or a lesbian unless they are trying to get attention at a party, unless they actually are.
Believe me, I would just give this girl space. My mom is a lesbian and this girl is probably a lesbian but is very scared about it and is very confused. She probably did rush into a relationship with you because she wanted to hide her feelings for a girl...but then realized that wasn't fair to you so she told you about what she was thinking. I would tell her that you are here for her if she wants to talk and let her know that you still like her but you will respect any decision she makes in her life. If she is a lesbian she probably really does like you....but she's a lesbian...and just doesn't like guys like that.
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ok so ive had like 2 boyfriends before in my life, and i'm 15, sophomore. My relationships didnt last tht long because one is moving and he had complications and the other one had to go to college. But I'm really desperate for a new boyfriend. And I dont want to be desperate, its so annoying, i cant even be myself around guys anymore, without expecting that something "magical" or amazing will happen. I just want to be myself! Yes I would love a boyfriend! But to tell the truth I dont have a very good self esteem. most people cant tell unless I tell them. But I do. I think that I dont deserve to be skinny (i'm a little overweight and im in the process of losing my goal of 15lbs), i think i dont deserve to be happy, or i dont deersve to be loved or have a girlfriend. I'm not emo lol, but I think I do have some depression issues. I go through depression spells especially when I'm stressed out, or the fact when that I dont think I'm loved. And at my school, like alot of the guys are players and are rude, but alot are nice too. I just think I'll never be good enough for anything or anyone. It's like I'll always have the feeling of being alone forever.
15/f/usa
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Okay...so I know what you are going through. You are actually ahead of any game that I had...I never even kissed a guy until I was 16. I have had 3 boyfriends in my life and I married my 3rd boyfriend (I am 19). Now first of all, I know how it is to have low self esteem. I had very low self esteem until I got my first kiss. Only then did I think I was actually pretty and attractive. After that, I started to not care about having a boyfriend. I concentrated on myself and having fun with my friends and within a few months I got my first boyfriend. My advice is to relax...do not put so much pressure on yourself to get a boyfriend. You are 15 years old! Focus on school and your friends and making yourself feel good. I know it sounds cheesy as hell but you are most attractive to others when you feel attractive. Nobody is going to think you are worth anything until you think you are worth something! If you want a boyfriend to save you from your depression and to make you "feel pretty" it is not going to happen. Reality of it is...guys suck at being nice, guys suck at giving compliments and guys your age are very selfish. Most guys are not ready to "save" someone ever, and none of them should have to. I would suggest doing a lot of soul searching and fixing a lot of issues within yourself. Nothing is more unattractive to guys than a desperate, unconfident girl...so quit being desperate and get some confidence! Once you stop thinking about needing a boyfriend....a guy will actually want to be your boyfriend. Oh and p.s. You said that you only want to lose 15 lbs....if you are only needing to lose 15 lbs you are not overweight at all and are not fat at all...just thought I'd let you know.
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I didnt mean for any of this to happen. I wish none of it had... but it did okay well hmm ok i will call them max and dane. Okay so I am perfectly happy and loveing my life completley in love with my boyfriend dane me and dane have been together for quite a while when I meet max and i begin to like him to me and he likes me well we became great friends but i decided i didnt wwant anything bad to happen and i was getting to close to max and i dont want to breakup with dane so i made a mistake and told max i didnt want to be friends anymore and i hated him and that i wanted him to hate me but i lost him and i know i shouldnt but i wamnt to at least befriends with him and he wont answer th ephone so i keep emailing him and saying im sorry but he wont say anything back, but then i still love dane and he has no idea about max. what hsuold i do? (link)
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If you love your boyfriend so much then why are you so scared to "accidentally" fall in love with someone else. You are young...you are not married to Dane and if for some reason your friendship with Max would blossom into an even better romantic relationship for you then why are you worried about it? If you loved Dane as much as you think you do...you wouldn't worry about falling in love with Max and you wouldn't worry about being close friends with a guy.
Just something for you to think about.
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