FiaBean's advice column | FiaBean's Advice About Love Life

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Q: my boyfriend and i have been going out for a year now, but i know he talks to other girls online. recently, i went on his myspace, he said i could, and read some of his messages. one from his ex that bothered me said

"hey. i wanted to continue our conversation. what where you saying when you said you still like me but like her more?"

another one was from a girl that i have no clue in heaven she is and it was this long love letter saying how she could never get over him and "that night back in october was amazing." we were going out i october.

what should i think? the thing is, his ex lives across the country from us, but i'm still worried. and the other girl lives in our city. what should i think or do about this?

Oh my gosh girlfriend I would COMPLETELY let him know! The fact that he even let you look at his myspace baffles me honestly!! Now he has no excuse to why he has that on there. If you guys were going on in October than that is TOTALLY unnexceptable. I am like getting chills writing this, thinking if I was in your situation and my boyfriend had that on his myspace.

But on a serious note: You really need to bring this up to him. The first message you said he sent to someone is a little sketchy but the second one is something that you really need to talk to him about. Anyway, my heart goes out to you and I hope everything turns out okay.

Hoping I helped,
FiaBean

Q: Dear Mrs. Web,

Three months ago, my wife abruptly separated from me and moved across the country. Recently, my wife revealed that she and one of my best friends had sex several times within weeks of her leaving. This friend was a groomsman at our wedding, and has been close to me for 5 years or so. My conundrum involves what I should do with this knowledge. We are all part of a tight knit group of friends from college has stayed close even years after we graduated.

I worry that revealing this knowledge will tear our group apart and hurt so many people. On the other hand, it feels like a difficult burden to carry this experience around without having those people who are closest to me aware of what I am going through. Should I tell my friend that I know about his infidelity with my wife? Should I tell some of our closest friends about this infidelity so they can comfort me, or should I keep it to myself so that our group of friends can stay strong? I'm extremely torn about what to do, and would love to hear any advice you have.

Thanks,
Torn and confused

Okay, first of all I'm am so sorry you have to go through all of this. No one should have to go through a painful breakup that is caused by cheating :| Okay now my advice:

Firstly I do not think you should get your friends into this at this moment. It may stir problems within your group and get everyone talking. Although in the future I do think you should confide in them, since it happened just a couple months ago you should let yourself have sometime to cool down before telling them.

Personally, I would go to the one man who did this and talk to him. Just tell him that you know and how you feel. Let him get a chance to talk and see how it goes.

In the end, this whole situation is completely your decision and I hope that I have helped you through this difficult time.

Hoping I helped,
FiaBean

Q: ookay well i like this guy and am pretty sure that he likes me. he is always flirting and it just loks like it. so laast night we are talking over myspace and he says that his friend that i met once likes me and i am like whatever okay and then he says to call this number cause the guy that met me wants to talk to me but for some reason he puts his own number and i ask him if that is the guy i mets number and he says no lol that is mine and i say okayyyy and then he gives me the real number and tells me to text him. okay so now my questions are if this guy liked me wouldnt he want me for himself instead of setting me up with his friend? and should i tell this guy how i feel????pleese help!!!

By the looks of it I think this guy has a little thing for you, and I think you should definitely tell this guy how you feel. You can tell this guy that you aren't interested in the other guy you old want him. (Sounds like something straight out of a story-book huh)? Lol, anyway if you tell him how you feel I don't think it will ruin anything. Just try and not make it like you are throwing yourself to him because then it will be a little bit awkward and you may lose a friend. You can always make it casual or just throw hints. :) Anyway! Hope I helped.

Q: ok well i think im in love with two guys and one of them lives in a dif country!!! But he is really sweet and I like him alot and then the other lives not to far way but im not sure if hes still interested in me because everytime he says he wants to hang out he always seems to make exscuses later to not go.And yesterday the guy in Australia asked for a nude pic of me!!! so yeah i feel very confused

Firstly, any guy who asks for a nude pic probably just wants something to masterbate with. No offense, but I have talked to guy friends about this, they told me that they ask girls for pictures and web cam video's and they try to get them to show a little skin for their pleasure. Be careful with the guy from Australia, he doesn't sound too cool.

And now for the other guy, I suggest bring it up to him. Tell him how you feel and that you would like it if you guys hung out. Set a date in the future so he can empty all his plans and then you guys can have a fun time woo!! :)

Q: girls when your making out what are you supposed to do with your hands?
put them around the guys neck i need help im going to makeout tommorow at a party with a really cute guy.

Well, I usually put my hands around his neck or touch his face with my hands or on his shoulders or around his hips. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!

Q: this is a long story but i got 2 give background info!
so a week from saturday i was at shool (its like jewish church) and i saw this boy and had my ffriend entroduce us because she knows him from baseball. usually i have nno problem talking to boys but around him i got so nervous. i couldent say three words so i walked away. then this saturday i saw him at the park so i went up to him and asked him if he wanted to go to a party that night. he said sure and so i asked for his # and said id call him with the details. he gave me his cell # and i texted him that night and gave him all the details. he actually came and i came about a half hour after. when i got there i asked him if he wanted to dance and he said sure. we danced for a while until he had to go. he was talking to one of my guy friends and said he wanted to kiss me. but i wasnt ready for that because i didnt know him. so before he left he leaned in to kiss me so i gave him a kiss on the cheek. and while we were dancing i told him i had a huge crush on him. but some people were talking that i wanted to make my ex jelous. but i couldent care less about my ex. the boy i was dancing with, he has the most amazing eyes and hes so nice i just want to be with him. but i think im scaring him off. i dont want to play games and wait until he texts me or whatever. he knows i like him. and yesterday i texted him twice but he never answered. and today he texted me back and i was like im nvr gnna c u again and hes like i gtg do hw now bye. so now i dont know i dont really want to lose him but im pretty sure he just wanted to hang out for a night. i could handle that though. i just want to know your opinion about the situation thanx!

It seems to me like you are rushing into this way too fast. I mean you just met him a week ago-ish and you already feel like he's your soul mate. Men and men and some men just want what is convenient for them at any given time. And what was convenient for him at that time was you. I seriously do not want to seem harsh but it's the truth. To me it just seems like it was a little fling i guess you can say. And i personally think you sound like you deserve better than him. Anyway I hope thing's work out for the best :)