Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
Hi i'm a guy and me and my gf have decided that we are comfortable and ready for sex.
however I have been hearing a lot of theories of when a women can get pregnant.
1)I know that condoms are good,I am planning to use them,but just for extra precaution...
2)some ppl told me that the girl can least likely get pregnant during her period,,cause the blood comes out and stops the sperm from getting in.
3)other say it's 2 or 3 days before her period
4)another lot said,it's 2 or 3 days after her period
5)another said it's two weeks after her period
6)another said 20 days after her period
I'm really pissed to be honest,all my friends are giving me different opinions.I know that a girl can get pregnant any time of the month,there is no 100 percent CORRECT time where a girl can never get pregnant.I just want a clear answer to as when a girl can LEAST likely get pregnant,LEAST likely. and yeah i will still use a condom,but i just wanna know this for extra precaution.
The most important thing you need to know is that your girlfriend can get pregnant at any time of the month. Period or no period.
However, it is true she is least fertile while she is on her period.
If you want to educate yourself on your girlfriend's cycle, go here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_cycle
"If a woman wants to conceive, the most fertile time occurs between 19 and 10 days prior to the expected menses."
-Wikipedia
I was rated a 5 ♥
about how much do crest whitening strips cost?
$30
=]
I use them. I can't remember the exact price, but it's somewhere in the range.
I was rated a ♥
My daughter just turned 15 her boyfriend is 15 also. They have been together for 4 months. Hes at my house every day since they started dating,I very rarely leave them alone together,if I do its for a very short time. When he's here they snuggle and kiss alot they hardly ever h.u. Also I can see them from the room there in so they dont really have much privacy Anyway thru the grapevine I heard he was a virgin before they started dating.Don't ask! My daughter dumped her last bf of almost a year because he started pressuring her for sex. I know she gave her last bf a bj and possibly someother kid but I think thats all. I know how she behaved as far as affection with the last bf,she occasionally initiated it butnot usually. But with this bf shes actually initiates it and personallyI think shes kind of aggressive with it. Just the way she touches him (running her fingers thru his hair for example)makes me think she might not be a virgin anymore. I mean its hard to describe but how they touch each other is so intimate (not sexually)that I really believe that they have had intercourse. I really need to know because I want her to go on birth control if she is sexually active and of course use condoms.Btw I have told BOTH of them that if they ever decided to go all the way I would want her to talk to me about getting birth control. Oh also his mom had him when she was like 15 or 16 and I reaaly dont think he wants to take a chance on having a kid this young. at least thats what he says. I asked a few of there friends about his past relationships and why they didnt work out. and I was told by quite a few ppl that he dumped one because she wanted to have sex.I also heard this about him way before she ever hung out with him,that relationship was like a year ago. and the other 2 gf he had cheated on him with his bestfriend. so its not like hes a player or anything. But anybody looking at him can tell hes seriously in love with my daughter. I think she loves him too but this all doesnt mean that they went all the way does it? Are there any signs that I could notice between them to tell? help!!!
You remind me a lot of my own mom. I was 14, almost 15 when I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend, only he's older than me. My mom suspected we had had sex, and even though we hadn't, we had been thinking about it. So I agreed to get put on it. We were both virgins too. I had never done anything sexual, but he had. I suggest asking her to get put on birth control. You can say that you want her to do it for your own piece of mind.
I can't speak for your daughter on whether or not she has had sex, but I can say once you put her on birth control, you should give her a little privacy. She's a teenager now, and if you trust her, and you trust this boy, you owe it to them to show a little respect. Not to much, just a little bit =] This coming from a teen of course.
I also think you owe it to your daughter to not be so nosy in her life. I don't know what I wouuld do if my mom was asking my friends and my boyfriend's friends questions. If you want to know something, you should ask the boy up front, or most importantly, ask your daughter.
I was rated a ♥
Me=16
him-17
I'm completely in love with him and we always talk about growing old together. and the thing im looking most forward to someday is us living together and me getting to wake up to him. And having the most amazing Children!!
me and my boyfriend have attempted having sex 3 times.
the 1st time. we just got exited with the fact it was finally gonna happen and we put the condom on to soon, once he got hard we attempted it but couldnt get it to go on(he on top)
the 2nd & 3rd time. We waited for it to get hard but we still couldnt get it in again he was on top.
Everytime we attempt when we almost get there he goes off. It only takes him like 5 seconds. Is that normal? do people normally mess up and go off that fast? i thought the first time it would be amazing but technically we havent had sex its just a bunch of attempts. but i still had a scare 2weeks ago when my period was 3 weeks late but i dont understand why it could be. couldnt of been pregnancy.
so my questions are-
-would sex work better with me on top?
-is it supposed to go off that fast?
-do people normally mess up like this on their first time?
-since we are young and have had or attempted sex does this mean we dont know what love is? ive been told many times that thats what that means.
- Would it work better?
It depends on the person. If you would like to give it a try if missionary isn't working, there is nothing wrong with experimenting.
- I have no clue what you mean by "go off"
If you mean he loses his erection before he puts it in you, then yes that's normal. And it's called nerves.
If you mean he ejaculates before he puts it in you. That's normal as wells. And it's due to exitement.
- First times are never perfect, and it usually takes a few times for it to work. You aren't alone.
- Only you know if you love someone, regardless of age. If you feel you love this boy, maybe you do. Or maybe a few years from now, you will consider to have been puppy love. You never know. When you love someone, you just know, and there is really know way to explain that in words.
I was rated a 5 ♥
im having a party tomorrow.. im not sure if im pregnant lets say theres a good chance.. um if i was i would only be 1 week ha because i had sex last sunday and tomorrows sunday.. is it ok if i drink? i dont even no 100% if i am or not.. but if i was it would only be a week so could that harm it if i did
Though drinking while you are pregnant is very wrong, if your pregnancy is so early that it's still undetectable, it probably wouldn't do much harm. A lot of people lay in the tanning bed, drink, smoke, and do all sorts of stuff while they are pregnant, and they just don't know or suspect it yet.
I still wouldn't drink though. Just because that's stupid of you. If you know or suspect that you are pregnant, you shouldn't want to drink.
I was rated a 3 ♥
I have an amazing boyfriend. We like each other SO much, everyone says we're cute together, our parents like that we're together, the whole deal.
The problem? He is a VERY stubborn person, and has the lowest self-confidence ever. If he's upset about something, he ignores me for a few days because he's worried I'll get mad at him. And if I try to tell him that I won't (through texting, and AIM) he gets madder because he gets upset that people care about him and are trying to help, because he HAS to do it on his own.
It makes me feel so useless when he does that. In a few days, when we're talking again and he's not upset (the latest upset was getting fired from a job he had for about six months, so he's totally justified in his anger) what can I say to him to make him realize that I could HELP him? Or at least get his mind off whatever's bothering him (whether this is sexually, or just through conversation, haha)
We're sixteen, almost 17, and seventeen, almost 18. He's older. And I am NOT breaking up with him over this, because it's a stupid reason to and I'm crazy about him.
My boyfriend is stubborn too. So I understand what you are going through. From personal experience, there isn't much you can do at this point. I'm sure he loves/likes you (Or whatever the case may be at this point) but maybe he's just not ready to open up to you.
It took my boyfriend almost two years before he started talking to me about things that bothered him. The best thing you can do right now is not push him into talking to you, just let him come to you on his own. But always let him know you are there for him. Continue texting him during these times saying things unrelated to this problem. Tell him you love him and would like to talk to him. Say something like, I know you are upset, but lets go out and get your mind off stuff.
Whatever you do though, do not let him think he can walk all over you just because he's upset. Be sure he KNOWS that you love him, but being rude and ignoring you just because he's in a bad situation is not acceptable. Him getting mad because you text him is NOT acceptable. You are his girlfriend and you have a right to talk to him when he's happy and when he's sad. Tell him that too.
After this all blows over, continue letting him know that you love him. And tell him that when he's ready to open up to you, that you are ready to listen.
Good Luck with this situation. =]
Let me know how it all goes if you can.
I was rated a 5 ♥
Ive liked my friend for a while now, he lives in England, while I'm here in america. He told me about a month ago that he has truely loved me for a while now and how he'd love it if we were together. When I bring up that we should date he says no, but he stays single for me. I know long distance realtionships dont usually work well but he comes here for vacations, and might move here soon with his uncle. How do I tell him I'm really serious about this and i think we should date?
I can't read minds..especially over the internet. But this is what I think: I believe he really does like you a lot. However he thinks having a long distance relationship won't work. I agree with him. The best thing for you two to do is continue contacting each other while you are away from each other. But don't feel obligated to him so much as if you find another guy closer to you that you also feel attracted to, that you can't talk to him. Understand? If he moves closer to you, by all means bring up dating again though.
I was rated a ♥
which looks better on me?
Blonde: http://s298.photobucket.com/albums/mm268/crazii-skittles/?action=view¤t=RandomPics384.jpg
Brown:
http://s298.photobucket.com/albums/mm268/crazii-skittles/?action=view¤t=blurr.jpg
Thanks:)
Brown deff. =]
Blonde doesn't look natural on you, it just doesn' suit you as well as the brown does.
I was rated a 5 ♥
The last time my boyfriend and I had sex was about 3 weeks ago, and my period is now 5 days late. We did use a condom, but I've always been regular before. I also felt very naseous for about an hour yesterday and about an hour this afternoon. I'm waiting a few more days before I get a pregnancy test.
Should I tell my boyfriend that I suspect I may be pregnant before I take the pregnancy test? Or should I take it first to confirm/deny my suspicions so I don't worry him?
It's really up to you.
If you decide to tell him so you won't have to be by yourself when you wait for the results, or because you feel he has a right to know, then tell him.
If you decide to just go ahead and do it by yourself to save him the worry, that's also your choice.
Neither is right or wrong. If you take a pregnancy test and you are pregnant, he definitely has a right to know. If you find out you aren't pregnant, you don't have to say anything to him if you don't feel it's neccessary. But if you feel you should, just be like "So last month was pretty scary. My period was a week late, and I thought I was pregnant."
I was rated a ♥
Me and this girl, said some things to this kid, that we probably shouldn't have. it was really mean, and i regret it a lottt. however, i'm now worried about our safety. i don't know what to do. im really scared hes gonna like freak out, and come and like bring a gun to school or something. i seriously dont even wanna go monday. i mean the way he looked at me, freaked me outtttt. i dont know? am i over exaggerating? i dont wanna die? helpppp.
Sounds like you are feeling guilty for what you did. You should.
Bullying is what causes violence in schools if you ask me. The people bullying the kids who finally snap are just as guilty if you ask me.
Hopefully you feel bad for what you did, and you aren't just scared that he'll hurt you. When you go to school Monday, apologize!
I was rated a 2 ♥
Okay, I can't decide what purse to get. I have just about every designer brand in every color. Should I get a louis vuitton or a different kind? Is there any you reccommend. Please dont say Gucci.
Vera Bradley?
I was rated a 4 ♥
i dont smoke that much, only about 1-3 cigs a day. my bf smokes too, and he's who i get my cigs from. we always split a pack until the next time i get to see him, with is usually within a week. so yeah.
well i went to the store the other day and got a really good smelling candle and a thing of febreze so i could spray it everytime im done smoking to get rid of the smell of burnt tobacco. and its been working! but my friend told me today that if i keep smoking in my room that im going to get YELLOW STAINS ON MY FRICKEN WALL.
is this true?? cuz no one besides her and my bf and my bf's friend know that i smoke. and if my rents found out they'd KILL ME. so if that IS the case, how would i get rid of the stains...and also even though my little febreze and candle thing is working, does anyone know a really good way to get rid of the smell of cigs??
so i guess my questions are:
A)do i really get yellow stains on my wall?
B)if so, how do i get rid of them?
C)what is a really good product that gets rid of the smell?
thanks for any advice!! :))
P.S. im unemployed and im on a budget, so any ideas that are NICE TO MY WALLET, that'd be dandy, as well. :)
a) Overtime you probably will. I doubt they will be visible enough for your parents to see/notice though.
b) When you smoke, open a window and keep the cig. held outside of it. Also blow the smoke out there as well. It's not going to make a huge difference, but it will help keep the disgustingness out of your room =]
c) Smoke stains horribly; And the smell lingers like crazy. Right after you smoke, brush your teeth and gargle. Also changing clothes will help get the smell off of you. Remember though, the smell will linger on your skin as well. Continue spraying Febreze and burning the candle. Try spraying perfume/body spray afterward as well.
I was rated a ♥
i started my birth control pill a week ago. i had sex after i'd been on it for a week. it was the first time, so it was slow and short. he wore a condom and he didn't even cum at all.
is there anything i should be worried about? we were protected, i'm just worried incase i was still ovulating due to the fact the birth control hadn't totally kicked in yet.
help!
is this going to affect the birth control at all? and i'm supposed to have my period(according to the pills) in about two weeks-and sometimes i won't even have it at all(says the doctor) so i dont want to stress myself thinking "omg i didnt have a big period"
help help help!
If he used a condom correctly, plus he didn't ejaculate, then you should be pretty well protected.
Having sex while being on birth control isn't going to affect it. The first few months while being on the pill, your period will be sort of off track. So continue using condoms for the first month or two. =]
I was rated a 5 ♥
HI i'm 17 years old and I just missed my period its about 5 days past when I should usually get it. I have been sexually active, but all times he wears a condom. I guess i'm probably not 100 percent sure that I am not pregnant.I haven't had any pregnancy symptoms. But I mostly want to know why I missed my period I mean I haven't been overly stressed or gained or lost weight I have been pretty normal. What could it be? Should I be worried? Thank you!
If you still haven't had your period in 1 weeks, take a pregnancy test.
If you have sex (protected or not) and you miss your period, you should be worried. Condoms aren't 100% effective. There is a good chance you could be pregnant.
My advice: If you do happen to be baby-free, get put on birth control. It relieves a lot of stress for those who are sexually active. And when used correctly, it is ALMOST fool proof.
And by the way, if you were pregnant, you wouldn't be experiencing pregnancy symtoms yet anyway.
I was rated a ♥
ok so me and my boyfriend had sex like 2 weeks ago i dont come on my period yet till da begginig of month.but as me and my bofriend was doing it da second time im not sure if he came in me(he said he didnt) because all of it was on his stomach but we pulled out kinda late.well yesterday i took a pregnancy test and it came back negative. it seems like i get a feeling of something moving around in my stomach can someone tell me what dat means?
It probably means you have gas.
Of course you could be pregnant, but I doubt it. Take a pregnancy test about 2 weeks after missing your period, if you do miss it that is.
I was rated a 4 ♥
How old about should a baby be when his/her parents stop having sex in front of him/her in your opinion?
I think it's all just personal opinion.
I see nothing wrong with having sex while your baby is sleeping in a near by basinet. Perfectly fine.
But once they start crawling, walking, saying words, or showing signs of knowing what's going on, it's time to hang it up, and have sex quietly in another room.
I was rated a ♥
HII :]
I had my baby April 14th :]
We named her Riley James Court.
I ended up moving in with my boyfriend in feb.
we are getting married in August.
im super excited.
but i need some wedding tips and ideass.
help me out.
thanksss.
Wear white if you want. I suggest it.
Tradition says white is pure, you are supposed to be pure on your wedding day, and yahyahyah. But times have changed, culture has changed, and no one will think any less of you if you wear white. I'm not a virgin and I have every intention on wearing white on my wedding. =]
Congrats on the baby.
I was rated a ♥
hi, recently i had sex with my boyfriend without a condom but i had been on birth control for a couple weeks and have had perfect use with it. i talked to my doctor and asked if i was pretty much safe just having birth control and she said yes. but has anyone had bad experiences (pregnancy) not using a condom and only using birth control. and not STDs because my boyfriend doesnt have any.
Personal Opinion: I believe in Murphy's Law; What can go wrong, will go wrong. It's like, from my point of view, teenagers and people who don't even want kids can pop them out left and right. But then there are families out there who have been trying for years, who want nothing more than to get pregnant, but they just can't. It's sad =( I'm ending my rant now.
I honestly think that it's harder to get pregnant than most people think in general though. You aren't ALWAYS going to get pregnant when having sex. You CAN get pregnant the first time having sex. But sometimes you WON'T get pregnant while having sex. Make sense?
I'm on BC, i've been having sex using this as my only form of protection for almost two years now. (With my long-term boyfriend of course) So it's pretty damn effectice..but still not fool proof. If you take your birth control every single day, correctly, you'll probably be okay.
I do however know two of my friend's mom's who got pregnant while being on birth control. One had been taking it for a while, and somehow, still ended up pregnant. The other was taking antibiotics while being on birth control (which makes BC less effectice) and got pregnant.
Be careful when needed though, and you should be alright. =]
I was rated a 5 ♥
Okay so i have a really bad anger problem. I know it sounds bad but i have a short fuse that is lit very very quickly. And i have this step dad and e just pretty much treats me like crap. He has threatened or as mom says "implied" that he was going to kill me. (like 5 times). I believe the first time he said he was going to lose it one day and the day he did i better not be there because if i was i was going to get what is coming to me. And like sometimes he will scare me. Like he would wait til my mom was at work and he would tackle me on the floor or something like he was wrestling with me and get on top of me and like hold me down and i would tell him to get off of me but he wouldnt. He dont do that anymore though. But like he treats my friends better than me.
And i used to love dogs. Especially my first dog. He was really the only being in my house i could trust. And then he died and i didnt have him anymore. And for a year i kept saying i wanted another dog and i finally got one, but i just really dont like this dog. He gets treated better than me. And i just, like i would care if he died but when he is around everyone else, i just hate his guts.
And my grandpa lives with us and he only wants me around when i do something for him, he dont say please he dont tell me he loves me. He told me he loved me a year ago and that was when he thought he was dying. And he treats me like crap too.
And my mom is just a bitch sometimes but i love her to death. She just doesnt want to believe that i am treated like crap.
and i bite myself when i get mad. It just like releases pain or something. And i just stop dealing with everybody because i figure why treat them any better than they treat me. And my mom yells at me constantly saying i need to watch my mouth or she is gonna kick my A** and i cant help it..and i recorded jackass number two..and my step dad deleted it! he said i didnt need to watch it so he deleted it and i was madder than crap. I just felt like putting a bullet in their head and that is the worse it has ever gotten. That was last night. And i cant tell anybody because they say im over reacting. But im going crazy over here. I would never kill them or myself but things are getting too bad around here. I am getting worse everyday. And last night also my cousins were over and they have a one year old and she was screaming at the top of her lungs and i seriously just wanted to pop her upside the head. I never want to hurt a baby. or any one. but i was just so agitated and i wanted her to shut up.
I bottle up all of my feelings because i have no one who will listen. My dog used to listen but he is gone. He was a black lab, he was my baby boy. And i wanted to get a black lab at the flea market but my mom wouldnt let me get one because i already have one but i hate him and he isnt mine. And like with my grandpa and step dad i seriously wouldnt care if they died. I am just sick of being treated like trash. That might sound bad but its true, im not wishing death upon them but i just wouldnt care you know??
What is wrong with me?? i feel so screwed up!! i am crying now because i dont know why...please help me!!
All teenagers have anger issues, and no family is perfect. You are always going to fight with the people you care about, because you live with them, and sometimes you just get sick of each other. It's normal, it happens to all families at some point or another.
Your mom may call you names, and say things she doesn't mean, but you can't honestly say you haven't done the same thing before. I'm sure she loves you as much as you love her, but she's probably stressed out as much, if not more than you are. Talk to her one on one about how you feel and what's bothering you. MAKE HER LISTEN TO YOU. If you are honestly hurting, she has a right to know and try to fix it.
As for your dog & grandpa: I'm really sorry that your dog died. It's very terrible, but death is just a part of life, even for dogs. I'm sure he lived a long, healthy, and happy life. Be happy for that. Move on, and don't blame the death of your dog on the new dog you guys have gotten. If anything, confide in your new dog about your other one. This new dog hasn't done anything wrong, and doesn't deserve to be punished because of your bitterness. I love all animals, and don't like to see them treated wrong. And for your grandpa, old people are just plain mean sometimes. But that doesn't mean that he doesn't love you. If he didnt' love you, he wouldn't have told you he did before he almost died. Good point, huh? He's old and can't do stuff for himself sometimes, so he relies on his granddaughter. Sure, it may not be fun, but it is your responsibility.
As for your stepdad, do not put up with threatening/hitting/abuse (verbal or physical) Tell your mom, and if she doesn't do anything about it, the next time it happens, tell someone who will listen. And someone who will do something about it. The Jackass thing is not a big deal. Grow up and get over it. Yes, it's annoying I know. I have crap recorded all the time and my brother, mom, and stepdad go through and delete/record over it all time. It pisses me off, but I calm down, because there is no sense in blowing it out of proportion and getting upset over it. You know?
Don't bite yourself. That is a form of self harm, and it's not a good way to deal with your problems. Good things to do when you are pissed off is to go outside and run. I absolutely hate running, so when I run, I get pissed off about it and release all of my anger out into doing it. By the time i'm done, i'm still upset, but I feel a lot better, and i'm to tired to yell, that I go talk to whoever it was that pissed me off about what I want to. Another great thing to do is scream into a pillow. I love doing that =] It releases a lot of anger as well. Do something to get your mind off of being pissed off my watching tv, or something. And then talk to the person who pissed you off about why you are mad.
If you need to, leave the house and stay with a friend of relateve for a few days to get your mind off of everything. Just remember to wait until you are calm to talk about what's bothering you.
I was rated a 5 ♥
I'm so virgin it's not evevn funny.
I've never had sex, never fooled around, never had a boyfriend, and I've never evven had a first kiss with anyone other than my Grandmother.
I've missed my period for over a week. I looked up the signs of pregnancy and I have them all...?
It sounds so silly for me to ask this but it's bothering me.
No sex equals no baby.
If semen has never come into contact with your vagina, the chances of you being pregnant are 0.
You aren't pregnant.
When you are in your teens, your period is hardly ever regular, so the fact you haven't started your period is nothing. Don't sweat it. A few years ago, one of my friends didn't have her period of almost a year. She also had never had sex/sexual contact. It happens, and it's nothing to stress over.
One thing you may consider doing is being put on birth control. That's what my friend did, so she could regulate her period. Talk to your mom about it, and maybe she can take you to the doctor to see about it.
I was rated a 5 ♥