Bio♥
Hey, I'm Melody! I've been giving advice on and off since 2003. I'm a 23 year old military wife, expecting a baby boy in August, and working on my Bachelor's degree. :)
Oh, and ask me anything!
Advice
hey
my name is justin, iam almost 18, actually iam 17 years old plus 7 month.
i live in new york.
i was woundering wats the legal age in the us to have sex, and am i free to buy condoms?
tanx for help, and i really appreciate.
reply soon.
Justin
You have to be at least 17 years old to have sex in New York. However you can buy condoms at any age.
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after you have sex do you bleed???
14/f
If your hymen as been popped, probably not. If it hasn't, usually.
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ok is it possible to break ur hymen without having sex? and does it bleed when you break it, and for how lonmg does it bleed?
Yes, you can break your hymen from other things than just sex. Being fingered, doing sports, jumping, ect. Anything that stretches the skin around your vagina could possibly cause the hymen to tear.
It only bleeds a few trinkles of blood. Nothing to serious, really. And only for a few seconds.
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Hi.
I've heard that when you have sex for the first time that it hurts extremly bad. I know it varies from person to person. But is it possible for it not to hurt on the first time?
I have a low tollerence for pain, and my boyfriend has a rather large penis. Its 5 inches WIDE. So, will it hurt really bad? Is there a way to make myself not be so tight?
I don't use tampons and don't want to, I can't even get one finger up there.
What do I do, I really want to make love with him but I'm just scared of the pain and bleeding.
Do you bleed right after you stop, during or later? Cause when your hymen breaks you bleed right?
18/f
It is possible for it not to hurt the first time, yes. But it's also very unlikely for most girls.
It will probably hurt your first time for 3 reasons.
1) Your boyfriend's penis is 5 inches wide. Ouch.
2) You have a low tolerance for pain
3) You apparently have a tight vagina from what you're saying about the tampons and not being able to get one finger up there.
The best thing you can do is let him finger you for a few months and maybe consider tampons even though you said you don't want to. At least you could get used to the idea of something being up there. If you want to move the process of loosening up your vagina, try masturbating. That way you and your boyfriend both can help loosen you up.
Another thing, when you do decide to have sex, use a condom. I'm not saying this because i'm a poster ad like everyone else on this website, but because the lubrication on the condom will make it slide in easier. And/or try KY Jelly. It works wonders and makes it slide right up in there making the friction, tension, and pain somewhat less unbearable. Also be sure to let him finger you before you try to get it in. That way, your vagina can be getting used to the penetration.
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when do you ovulate? i have a very irregular period, is it before the white stuff comes out of you or after........is after the stuff comes out then you can become pregnant really easy or before ?
I'm not so sure about when your body produces more discharge (white stuff) but I do know that most women are most fertile 19 and 10 days prior to her period. However all bodies are different and in complete honesty, the only way to be perfectly certain when you are or aren't the most fertile, is by learning the hardway, and i'm pretty sure no one wants to learn like that.
haha.
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Ok, there are so many sex questions going around that I'm getting really confused, so here are some that I need answers to so it can straighten everything out.
1. If the guy REALLY doesn't cum, can you get pregnant?
2. What is the big diference between pre-cum and cum? or is there no difference?
3. With a condom, what is the % of pregnancy? without a condom? with birth control? with birth control AND a condom?
4. On average, how long does it take for a guy to cum?
5. How common ARE STD's?
6. If you have sex with a carrier of an STD, will you for sure get it?
I RATE FOR ANYTHING THAT ANSWERS ANY QUESTION!
1) Yes. You can get pregnant even if the guy doesn't ejaculate (cum).
2) There is actually no clinical term for premature ejaculation (precum) but you can describe it as an uncontrolled ejaculation with little stimulation. Pre-ejaculation flows in small portions throughout the entire 'session' while when you acutally ejaculate it's at the end and it means you hit an orgasm. If this doesn't make any sense to you or you have further questions, leave one in my inbox and i'll try answering it more thoroughly.
3) When using a condom correctly the chances of you getting pregnant is only 3%. When not using a condom the chances of you getting pregnant is 85%. When the pill is used correctly the chances of you getting pregnant is only 0.1%. If you use a condom and the pill together and use them both correctly, their is no chance of getting pregnant.
4) Suprisingly less than 5 minutes. But a lot of guys can go much longer.
5) More common than you think.
6) It's just like pregnancy. You won't necessarily get it. But the chances are incredibly high!
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16/f
okay this might sound kind of funny but im just making sure! ive probably been on birth control for about a year now..not for sex or anything but for my period. is there different kinds of birth control? like..if i wanted to have sex with a guy would taking my birth control still be effective, or is there like birth control just for sex and just for your period? im just wondering like..im scared to have sex obviously because im scared of pregnancy and all that other stuff! so if i ever find a right boy that i love and when i feel the time is right i want to make sure im as protected as i can be =)
im just wondering with all this stuff..
THANKS
All birth control is the same whether it be for sex or for your period. If you were to have sex right now, you would be protected because you are on a 'birth' control pill. :)
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Does alcohol decrease the effectiveness of birth control? Also, if you forget to take one of your birth control pills one day, how many days should you wait to have sex before it gains it's full effectiveness and is back on track again? Thanks.
Alcohol has no direct effect on the birth control pill's ability to prevent pregnancy. However drinking it can indirectly decrease the pill's effectiveness because it in general interferes with a person's mind. Which means a woman drinking alcohol is less likely to take the pill at approximately the same time each day while drinking. After drinking a lot of people experience 'hangovers' the next day and if it causes her to throw-up shortly after taking the pill, it loses it's effectiveness because it's no longer in her body at all.
If you just forget one, use a condom that day if you have sex and take 2 the next day. If you miss more than two, you are supposed to use a condom for the rest of that pack of pills.
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ok so i turned 16 in august and my boyfriend is about to turn 18 in december...so will that make us...like illegal?
16 with provisions.
You can have sex with him and you can date him if you are 16. Look it up if you're not so sure.
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Hey everyone I do not know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been dating like 3 years and we have been having sex a while now. But recently whenever we start a few times after he goes in and out he gets these headaches and if he continues they get worse. I can not figure out what to do to help him..and its gotta be the sex cause once we stop 2 minutes later he is fine. We are trying to fix these..so please tell me anything that you think may help.
btw-dont waste your time by telling me dont have sex..i want answers not your opinion on whether or not sex is ok to have.
thanks
ps-please hurry I am worried about him
I did some research and I discovered there are two kinds of sex headaches. The first and most common one being benign coital. These headaches usually occur during or after having sex and is relatively harmless. The second type is less common and can be fatal until proven otherwise. It's called the "new onset" severe headache. This is usually due to an acute brain hemorrhage or other serious condition. Fortunately for you, this is very uncommon and I doubt you need to worry about it.
I'm pretty sure your boyfriend's problem is a benign coital headache. These headaches can occur in men and women and are usually due to muscle contraction, and/or blood vessel dilation in the head and neck during sex. Although these headaches can be very painful and limit sexual enjoyment, they present no actual threat to one's health, so don't worry.
Benign coital headaches are said to be relatively easy to cure, but whereas you seem to be under the younger generation (teenagers) it could present a problem. Sometimes obstaning from sex for a few weeks is all that is needed to cure this type of headache. However if this doesn't work, your boyfriend may need to be prescribed a medicine from a doctor that's taken an hour or so before sex to cure these headaches. The good news is that benign coital headaches can be cured all on their own in time.
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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now (10 months) were ready to take it to the next level (sex) I am a virgin and i am young, and havent really experienced much and i've heard you have to be shaved, i'm not familiar with it so i was wondering if someone could give me a few tips on how to shave.
thanks.
You don't have to be shaved. That's a bunch of shit. I don't know who told you that, but it isn't true. If you love your boyfriend and you know he loves you also, why bother with shaving at all? If he loves you he won't care.
I've answered this same question about 100 hundred times, so i'm not going to repeat it again. If you really want to know the correct way to shave, and i'm talking the preparation to the after care, then search my column and find the answer.
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Is it normal as you get older for the feeling of being uh..horny to increase?
and what can be done to stop the feeling.
As you grow older your body produces more and more hormones and yes, that makes you tend to be more horny. If you don't want to feel horny, the best thing to do is masturbate. But if you want to avoid the feeling or thought of anything sexual (and I don't see why you would) then try just keeping your mind off of it. Go out with some friends, exercise, anything. But remember, it won't get rid of these urges all together because it's a natural and normal feeling. Shit, even nuns and monks get horny at some point or another. haha.
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hi. i just want to know what exactly is a girl condom and how do you use/put it on??? please help me!! thanx
It's usually a sponge or a diaphram. sp?
A girl condoms works somewhat like a tampon does. You insert it into your vagina, and it expands up there keeping the cum from entering you. That's basically it in a general term.
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Hey,
My sister is 12 years old & i just found out something that disturbs me a bit. She kinda has sex with a bunny.. but not really.. she leaves her pants and underwear on and everything and she puts the bunny against her genital organs and kinda like humps it.. she moves up and down and she says its pleasurful and she likes the feeling of it. Is this normal for a 12 year old to havce urges for this kind of stuff? & can this be harmful..?? Please help me.. I dont know if she young to have a vibrator.. so what should i do?
a real bunny?
that's a little messed up. i'm pretty sure that could even be classified as "animal rape" or "animal cruelty" please, dont't take my word on this, though because i'm not sure. if it's a stuffed animal, that's different. she's 12 and she is having raging hormones. this is the perfect age to start having these feelings too, so don't worry. i'm not so sure to go as far as buying her a vibrator. but maybe explain to her what masturbation is, and tell her you think that's healthier for her.
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so i started birth control liike..3 weeks ago i guess, and its the oral kind and its almost done..when should i expect my period because my usual schedule is thrown off when i started this..i think.
to be honest, you can't really tell when you will start your period on the first packet of the pills. it's always slightly, if not a lot off. when you start your second month on the pill, you should get on cycle. so just be prepared this time and look for the pre-menstrual signs.
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ok this may sound weird but my penis is bent like crooked in the middle. not a lot but i notice it. its like off to the left side and its been like this a while and its very obvious when i get hard. is this bad?? will it make it harder or painful to have sex??
help please?! thx!
you're fine. hardly no one has a 'perfect penis.' there is always some sort of flaw with it. it won't make sex any different, and no one else will notice it. it's just not something you look for.
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Well I know i'm ready to have sex for the first time. A few people i have talked to say it hurts very bad and they have even cried others say it doesn't. I was just wondering what your guys opinion is on this.
I thought it hurt like hell.
really it's a matter of opinion and how you react to pain. I you see, am a cry-baby, so if you aren't I probably wouldn't listen to my opinion.
you see, it depends on how tight you are, your size, you reaction to pain, and many other things. the only thing I can really tell you is to experience first hand. that's about the only thing you can do.
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well, I have known this guy since i was 5. I am 14 now and hes about to turn 15 and we've been best friends for a great while now. && he always tells me he cares about me and he wants to do stuff with me and that i should because he actually cares about me and all that. Then he was telling me today that i am the only girl that actually really cares about him and doesnt use him. And he knows i have feelings for him, hes great. But, its like i want to do stuff with him cuz i do care about him but i feel weird doing it. We've kissed a couple times and it felt weird at first then it felt natural. && in all the movies best friends always end up doing stuff and he told that to me which i already knew. And i believe that he truly does care about me, but its the fact that he is my best friend.
Anyone wanna help me?
thanks
If you all are that close, then I can understand why you would have strong feelings for each other. However, if you are just going to be 'friends with benifits' it's probably not going to end well. I think if you guys like each other as much as you are putting out, then start dating. That way, it would be different if you did stuff.
If this sounds weird, i'm sorry. It's eary & i'm not thinking right. Agh.
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ok i recently made a friend and she came to me for advice and she had, had sex and the condom broke and don't know what happened and is afraid she is pregnent she is only 15 and her period is in the beging of the month (september) is it to earlie for her to know then??
Usually with home pregnancy tests you have to wait at least a week or two for the test to work accurately. However, the EPT tests they now have are different. You can tell 7 days before your missed period. I'm sure you have seen these commercials on TV at one point or another.
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im taking a medication for my yeast infection, and it seems that i have been urinating a little bit more. is that normal?
It can be. People are effected by certain medicines differently, and the fact that you've been urinating more than usual is totally fine. It's just a side effect of the medication.
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