Razhie


"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.


Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

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    The Question
    Why isn't there a pro average BMI movement? Nothing good comes from being underweight, overweight, or obese. Personally, I'm overweight, and trying to lose weight to put me less at risk at developing type 2 diabetes, which I am genetically at high risk for. All the fat acceptance stuff and "size 14 is not fat" stuff pisses me off because it's literally life or death for me, and likely many others. I'm a size 8 and even my doctor says I need to lose weight or I'll have to start taking meds. Ive lowered my blood glucose, but being overweight still puts one at risk. I still have issues with junk food, but I'm better now that a lot of junk has calorie labels that discourage me some. Trying to be less of an emotional eater. It's more than whether curves are sexy or not. Someone can be skinny and still curvy, anywyays. Candice Swanepoel and a 90s Tyra Banks, for example, are curvier than my size 8 self. I don't get what positivity comes through fat acceptance, whatsoever. Yeah we're being complacent about our health, high five! It's all down to diet and exercise, we can't wonder why there's an obesity epidemic and simultaneously accept obesity. It's not that obese people should go die or something, everyone can lose weight. I gave up junk food for lent and went to the gym 2-3 times a week and in 1 month I lost 10 pounds. Even models lose weight, the whole "naturally skinny" thing is a myth. It takes dedication, and in time, you'll get used to it. I'm still getting there, and I'm not hopeless, and no one should be, to the point where they consider their health flaw a source of empowerment.

    The Answer
    Fat acceptance is about accepting that fat people are utterly valid, valuable human beings. Worthy of respect and love, and not to be subjected to the judgement or ridicule of others because of their fat.

    Really, it's that damn simple. All it is, is the belief that you can't determine a person's worth based on their size.

    When you talk about fat people as though they have a flaw, or less dedication, or less willpower than you have, that is what you doing. You are calling them less than you. Less good than you. Less worthy of respect.

    That is why there is a fat acceptance movement, because people keep associating fat with lazy and stupid - and yeah, sometimes it is that - but also sometimes it's not, and no one else should make that judgement about others based on their bodies. Their bodies are not enough information and you have no business making those judgement, and it's never okay to devalue a human being because of their body.

    EDIT IN RESPONSE TO FEEDBACK.

    You aren't getting it. It doesn't matter that if it's a genetic thing or not. It doesn't matter if someone is choosing to be fat or not. You still MUST respect the person regardless of the state of their body. That's the point. You don't have the authority or the information to go around thinking of less of other people because of what you see in their eating behaviours, or in their bodies.

    I'm not putting words in your mouth. I'm pointing out to you what you don't realize you are actually saying with the words you are using.

    When you say: "It takes dedication, and in time, you'll get used to it."
    What you are saying is that fat people aren't dedicated enough and willing to suffer to change the way you are - which may or may not be true - but doesn't matter because it is a value judgement about the person. That is a way of saying a person is less than you. That's a lack of respect.

    When you say "Everyone can loose weight"
    What you are saying is that anyone who can't - and some people really struggle and maybe don't want too - is weak or has less willpower or intelligence than you. That is a way of saying a person is less than you.
    You don't have the information, or the authority to make those judgements about other people. Those judgements are a lack of respect.

    You need to learn to be proud and comfortable of your own achievements and choices without ripping down other people and making judgements about them that you have no right to make.

    You might feel in your heart that you are loving and respecting others, but your words aren't actually reflecting that. Your words are why we need fat acceptance movement, because you are still using language that labels fat people as dumber, or weaker than everyone else.

    Thats the problem right there; You do not have the right to determine a person's character, or moral worth, or value based on their body. Whether or not they are choosing to be fat, or it physically unavoidable for the, whether they trying to loose weight and succeeding, or trying to loose weight and failing, you still need to not use your words to imply they are weak, stupid, or less than others.
    (View All Other Answers.)


    (Rating: 2) Thanks for your definition of fat acceptance, but the problem occurred once you put words in my mouth. Everyone has the same worth and deserves the same respect, so it was wrong for you to assume I devalued overweight people just so that you can have a nice and neat rebuttal. I'm overweight myself, and have overweight and obese family and friends. Diabetes is rampant in my family and one of my grandfathers died from complications of diabetes, so if I truly devalued myself and others in my life I'd be all "fat is beautiful" and what not, when high blood pressure isn't beautiful, diabetes is not beautiful, etc. that cuts how much time they have on this earth short, unnecessarily. no, i don't go up to people saying they're fat and need to lose weight, that's between them and their doctors, but I'm not going to deliberately co-sign negative behaviors, either. It's a battle, one I'm still fighting myself.

    to truly love a person is to acknowledge their flaws and help them on their path to improve as individuals. Everyone has their vices. Some people are addicted to food and don't exercise enough, others have eating disorders, etc. if its supportive to support an anorexic person getting back to a healthy weight, then how is it disrespectful to support an overweight, even possibly obese person to also get to a healthy weight? Look at the diets and workout routines of Victoria's secret models, for example. Even ask the routines of fit people at the gym. I don't do enough, and the evidence is present in the fact that I'm still overweight. When I went to Africa for 3 months, I lost a lot of weight, due to eating more healthy food and walking around a lot. When I came back, I started getting into old habits and gained back weight and then some. I'm currently halfway back to my Africa weight. There's no magic pill, I could do more and others can do more as well. It's not some genetic thing, where some people are skinny and others just don't have that "skinny gene". I think most people know they have to eat healthy and work out more, I think a problem in America is a lot of people don't realize how bad junk food is for us, and all that's put in them to make them so addictive. That's not stupidity, that's the fault of schools for not teaching this and our government for allowing such crap. Once your body is addicted it's going to be difficult to wean off, but it's not impossible, many have done so. I wouldn't call a recovering drug addict lazy or stupid, food is a drug, too. Not to mention, the mental state of people. If someone doesn't think they're worth getting healthy for, that's going to affect their effort, too.

    So at the end of this, I now get what the fat acceptance movement is about, but I think it would be more positive if it still had a focus on weight loss, just with sensitivity and respect to those still overweight, and still fighting, even if they're fighting to just make that first step in the right direction. Not that people should just stay overweight and obese, so that they can have shorter, more difficult lives.

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