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18/f, he's 22. We both work together in a grocery store. He used to be my supervisor but he moved to be supervisor of another department so he isn't technically above me anymore. We went to the same high school so I always thought he was cute. He was the one to train me on register when I first started out and thinking back on it, even that was awkward-he would talk to me and walk me through how to do things but he was still shy then. One day I was on self check and he was restocking the impulse candy in the closed lane right next to me, a customer asked me something that I wasn't sure on the answer of so I went over and asked him and he was still awkward about it then, speaking very quietly to me so he just bypassed me and went straight to the customer and when he started talking to the customer, he was laughing and speaking at a normal level and everything, it's weird to see his personality change with whom he's around.
Now, I never really gave it much thought, I was always negative about it thinking that a guy as cute as him would never go for a girl like me. However, he was out at the bar with my brother's girlfriend the other night since they're friends and she texted me and apologized that she was tipsy and she "word vomit" to him that I think he is so cute. To which, she says, he replied "she's definitely cute" so she told him he should probably talk to me then because I'm shy and he said that he's really shy around me too.
But now it's like, we both know what the other thinks and now it's more awkward. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? When two people know the feelings of the other, shouldn't it be easy to communicate? Nope. Not for us.
Many people know of our situation at work. He is friends with a lot of people at our work and I talk to a lot of them as well. Like, he's the hang out outside of work kind of friends with them but I'm the type of only hang out with them inside of work and I'm friends with the rest of the people that he isn't.
So, it's kind of comical to me to have everyone tell me they're going to get us to talk because nobody really understands just how shy he is around me because he isn't shy around anybody else. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not talking down on him because I'm shy around him too, if I wasn't, there really wouldn't be an issue to discuss here. I have people come up to me all the time, like oh "he was up here earlier and we talked for a good ten minutes before he was called back to do mods" or "he was just up here, he asked if you were working" - because I know he comes up a lot to help elderly customers do carry outs and that kind of thing because I see it, we make eye contact a lot as he's walking up or out the door, we just can't ever say anything. I even have the strangest supervisor (I'm not kidding, she'll just magically disappear for ten or so minutes sometimes and someone will find her in the back of the store, just feeding the goldfish, telling us that she could sense they were hungry) and she said he talks to her a lot and when she tells me that and she sees that I get irritated, she always says "yeah, well at least you know he can't talk to you because he likes you, I think a lot of girls would take him being shy because he liked them instead of just chatting like good friends" and I have to admit, that makes me feel better because a lot of girls that work with us tend to like him and think he's cute and he can talk to all of them normally.
However, lately, ever since he's gone to the bar that night with my brother's girlfriend, I've noticed he's been, I guess trying in his own way. He'll come through my self checkout when he knows I'm working which he never used to do but he still won't say anything. Or he'll come up for his returns sometimes and he'll look at me and smile when he walks by, but you guessed it, still doesn't say anything.
Yesterday, a friend of ours that used to work with us came in to buy some things and when he was finished, he stopped to talk to me and catch up and ask how everything was. When we were nearing the end of our conversation, he asked if any of his friends, that he used to hang out with when he worked with us, were working and at that time, the mute walked up and I pointed to him and they started talking. Our friend included me in the conversation too and I would laugh at both of their jokes and our friend would keep talking to me and him but he would only talk to our friend and not me. So, yes, when I say that he's shy... I mean it 1000% that he can't even talk to me in a group conversation.
So, I guess my question is: is this a lost cause? I know he isn't ever going to talk to me, it's just something I feel in my gut. And I have a feeling that I'll be too nervous for a while to say anything to him too. I've been planning on leaving my number on a sticky note and leaving it on his car one day but his one friend said he won't ever text me until he talks to me so that'd just be useless. I just don't know what to do. And please don't even tell me it's as simple as just saying hi because as I've stated numerous times, it's basically impossible for either of us to speak to each other which is what is leading me to believe how useless wasting my time on him is.
Thanks for any input! (link)
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Yeah, it's not going to work until one of you get the courage to talk. And what if by that time, it's too late?
If you think this guy is worth it, then go talk to him.
Even though that's not the advice you want, it's like the only thing to do. Unless you just want to wait but it doesn't seem like you're happy with it. And you could possibly miss out on something awesome just because neither one of you had the courage.
So maybe just take baby steps. You guys already make eye contact, next time you smile. After that you can wave, after that you can say hi, then eventually start having small talk enough to where you can give him your number?
If he's not going to do something about it, then you should.
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