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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Of course I hate false rumors. This isn't exactly a rumor.
But anyway have you ever seen someone fake being goth or sad or something for attention? Well most of my school is doing that. I'd like to say first I support homosexuals just not fake ones.
Ok so there was this girl in my elementary school and she was Emo And A Bisexual she finally was excepted.
Then after she turned Bi people who hated homos said they were. Then more and more. Then more people claimed to be Emo. Just because its a stupid craze. I know youll say I don't know them but if you were in my position. Don't tell me I don't know its fake because 99 percent of a school doesn't turn homo in a day. Its not homosexuals I disapprove of its the fakeness.
So I just have to listen to everyone say how sad or depressed they are.
I don't know if I should or how I'll tell them That your fake and stuff.
Which is unusual because anyone who knows me can tell you I don't sugarcoat things or care do call you out in something or call out a faker.
Any advice?
The Answer
You don't have to like people.
But calling them fake is mean. It doesn't matter if you are right or not. It's mean-spirited, it's petty, and you might actually really, really hurt someone if you are wrong. It's not worth it to be an asshole about this.
You don't have to like these people! But you do have to not be a asshole.
If you don't want to listen to people go on about being depressed or emo, then leave the conversation. These aren't good friends for you if you have zero respect for what they are saying. Don't attack them or call them fake. You have no right to do that - people will think you are an asshole and they'll be right - but you do have a right to walk away from people or conversations that you don't want to be a part of.
There is no polite or appropriate way to call someone out for faking things like their style or sexual orientation. Calling someone a fake when it comes to deeply personal things like that will ALWAYS make you an asshole.
If you don't want to be someone's friend, walk away from them and don't be their friends, but don't attack them. There is a lot of space between 'not sugarcoating' something and being a total dick. If you are trying to find ways to call out people, or insult them, or call them fake, then you have crossed the line into 'being a dick'. Pull yourself back and just don't be friends with people you don't want to be friends with.
You are not the Fake Police. It is not your job, or your right, to make the rules or pass judgement about what is emo or what is depressed or what is sufficiently homosexual to qualify. If you act like you have that right, you'll be acting like an asshole. People will not respond well to that. The right you do have, is to select the people you want to be friends with, and not be friends with the ones you don't. That's all the power you are entitled too.
/// Mckenzie - If you want to be an advocate for people suffering with depression, that's great! But a lot of people who do suffer from depression will tell you how hard it is to get people to believe them, and how often they were insulted or told they were lying about their depression.
Depression can strike anyone. Even people who seem to have it all, or people who don't seem to have big problems. Depression isn't just something that happens because you are having a rough life - it can happen even when everything is going great for a person.
Right now, you are one of those people who are keeping truly depressed people silent and ashamed, for fear of being judged by people just like you. For fear of being told they have no right to feel the way they do. Right now, you are not being part of the solution or helping people who are really hurting. You are being part of the problem. You are being just as much, if not more, a part of the problem then the fakers, because your judgement and anger will silence and shame people who are truly depressed.
Your attitude in this question is the exact opposite of standing up for people who are suffering from mental illness. Your attitude above is an asshole attitude. If you want to make positive change for people who are really struggling, you have to start by being respectful of all people, and stop pretending you are an authority on the subject of who is REALLY depressed, or gay, or whatever, and who isn't. You can help educate people about how to handle depression, or where to turn for help. Those are positive, non-asshole things you can do to help people. Calling out people you think are fakers doesn't help anyone and hurts and shames people who most need help and support. ///
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