(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)
Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
Favourite Collumnists.
(WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)
The Question
I've been having sex for quite some time now and I know that when I cum in a girl then we have sex again, the friction and bodily fluids will create this white foamy substance that comes out. So I'm dating this girl and a while back the white foam came out but I hadn't cum inside her yet. My guess is that the remainders of someone else's semen was inside of her and when she and I had sex it brought it out. After all, that's why the penis is shaped the way it is, isn't it? to displace other male's semen. Anyways, we had a huge fight over it and I kinda broke up with her, I felt bad for breaking up over just a suspicion but mind you, she has broken my trust before, not with cheating, but with small stuff. So we got back together and just today the same thing happened again with the foam. She denies it to no end, and I have no way to prove it. I think shes the kind of person that even when confronted with the truth she would deny it, unless I actually had proof. Am I being unreasonable to break it off again? I know that if I really don't trust her I shouldn't be with her, but sometimes I think I'm being paranoid. And I know the vagina does different secretions, but I know the exact foam and what it looks like and how its formed, and I know her thick creamy cum from her thin lubricating cum and the only way I've seen the foam form there is when sperm have been in there. What do you think guys? Please help!
The Answer
I think you need to check your crazy.
If you think your girlfriend is not a faithful person, then dump her. You don't need to wait till you have proof she cheated. If you don't have trust in her, that is enough to end the relationship.
However, you cannot tell that she had sex with someone based on her vaginal discharge. I'm sorry, that's just vengeful, insecure lunacy. Akin to arguing that a woman isn't a virgin because she didn't bleed the first time. What you've said here about her discharge is at that level of not okay bullshit. There are so many reasons that a woman's vaginal discharge may change consistency. Different clothes, different body soaps, exercise, irritation, and of course, illness. Most obviously, if you are focused on the idea that it's sperm you are seeing, it could be yours! You are just more likely to notice it now because you already feeling so insecure and distrustful. Sperm can remain in the woman's body for nearly a week, it's not like she'd have to fuck someone else a hour before she saw you in order to have semen in her system. If you are having regular unprotected sex, then there is always some amount of sperm in her vagina.
But none of that really matters, either way you need to stop making accusations based on her bodily functions. Really, that is just a level of arrogance, magical thinking, insecurity and plain old judgement of someone else's body is just that not okay. If a guy did that to me, not only would I be showing him the door, I'd be changing the locks and blocking his number, because I'd be genuinely frightened by someone whose was both that arrogant, prone to such an irrational leap of thinking and that desperate for evidence of cheating. I could not trust such a person to be anywhere near me, because I could not trust them to make reasonable judgements.
If you don't believe her, then dump her. That's fine. You are not obligated to trust her, but jumping to conclusions based on her vaginal discharge is not okay. Maybe she is cheating! Maybe it is really some other guys sperm you are noticing! Probably not, but hell, maybe. However, you do not have the medical training or expertise to make those sorts of calls, and the people who do can tell you straight up that there are a ton of reasons for vaginal discharge change that aren't having sex with someone else.
In the end, if this is the kind of crazy thinking you are doing about your relationship, it is probably not a relationship you should be in. You should disengage yourself before this kind of thinking becomes a habit that poisons your future relationships.
(View All Other Answers.)