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I have this friend that censures people 24/7 and she thinks it's hilarious but I do not. Recently, she saw my mom, my mom has a small cyst on her face and she made fun of her. It really offended me. She keeps telling me that her whole family criticizes people (as always, she thinks its funny), and I don't know how she can be proud of that. It just shows how immature her family is, and turned her into the immature child she is now. We had an obstacle course test in PE a few days ago (I'm the most unfit skinny person you might ever know) and we had the longest running time cause I'm not used to physical activities and all my groupmates are mad at me including the one that made fun of me, and she has this attitude where you tick her off just a little bit, she ignores you for a really long time. What should I do? I really dont want to go back to cutting myself with shards. (link)
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I think before you call off this friendship, talk to her.
At the end, you want to know that you gave everything to save this friendship. In everything relationship, not only romantic ones but friendships, it's a two way street. If she doesn't hear you out after you talk to her, then it's time to call off this friendship.
You obviously know her family background and that this is the way she was raised. So you already understand that but she needs to understand that there are boundaries and there are things that are appropriate to say and things that are not. And that some things might hurt other people even if she thinks it's funny.
So talk to her. Let her know how you feel.
The key to this is to not point fingers at her and make her feel defensive and angry.
Use the word "I".
"I feel hurt when you say things like this."
"It makes me feel bad when you ignore me."
If she doesn't work on this, then you don't need a friend who brings you down.
As for the cutting problem. I'm glad you're not cutting anymore. Have you had help for it? If not, you should see a counselor or therapist. Not because there is something wrong with you but you're still getting these urges and you don't want to fall back on that.
Nobody should have that kind of power over you.
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Rating: 5
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It's been a year since I posted this, I didn't have time to reply. Thanks by the way! Btw I haven't cut anything other than my hair, so that's good. :3
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