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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
My husband loves anime. He gets attached to the female characters. Also I recently found he has been watching one where a boy is in love with his stepsisters. He has a big list of exes. Which in one case had sex with his stepsister. I don't care I think its just as sick as your blood. And he gets mad at me when we discuss ever having kids. Well his favorite anime is naruto. He is in love with the two female characters Sakura and Hinata. Not being too open but has masterbated to both. But the case in which I mentioned children he is dead set on naming if we would have a daughter to name her after them. I personally think it's messed up please help and give me advice I need it.
The Answer
EDIT IN RESPONSE TO FEEDBACK.
It's okay that you don't like my advice, but when you delete your question all you are doing is robbing yourself of anyone else's advice!
I only responded to what you wrote about your husband. I didn't make anything up, or make any extra assumptions. You are the one who said his behaviour is 'messed up' and called him sick. You said he has an extreme and sexual fixation when these TV shows, that he doesn't want kids and that he talks about his obsession with these TV shows in relations to his possible daughters. You said that these things make you really uncomfortable and concerned.
I'm not a crazy or mean person for asking the obvious question - Why is this a person you want to co-parent with? Because EVERYTHING you wrote down, says he's not the guy for you or your idea of a good potential father.
I'm not trying to make you feel guilty and I'm not being any more negative than you were, in your own question. All I am asking is why do you think this is a good marriage to be in? Because all you have given us here are a bunch of really big, serious reasons that it is not.
/EDIT
Do you want to be with this person?
Do you want him to be the father of your children?
Lots of people have fandoms and fantasies - by themselves those aren't evil things - but it sounds like you are not at all comfortable with the importance he places on these things in his life, or his sexual engagement with them. That is totally valid. Maybe there is some woman out there who'd be down with that, but it's not you, and it's wouldn't be me either.
So you think it's messed up? Okay. What are you going to do about that? Are you going to move ahead and try to have children with someone who makes you so uncomfortable and whose judgement you have so little respect for? That's a horrible idea!
If he is not open to changing his behaviour, then you need to change yours, and that change might need to be divorce. You can't force someone to change. You can only walk away.
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