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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
My sister got married recently and she and her husband have very different feelings about dogs. Our family has always had dogs. We love them and my sister can't imagine her children not having one. Her husband however doesn't like dogs. He had one when he was a kid, but has stated numerous times that he's not a dog person.
They've agreed to get a border collie, but her husband is insisting that the dog will stay at their ranch house and they will visit it only on occasion to make sure it has enough food and water. This is a very stupid idea. We had a border collie when we were young and he was incredibly friendly and energetic. Those dogs are known for being that way. If they got one and left it by itself all of the time with no one to play with and nowhere to run around. It'd be miserable and we would probably run away. This sounds mean but I'd hope it would run away and find a family that would love it and give it the attention it deserves.
I know my sister wants a dog and I want her and my nieces and nephews to have one to, but not of its going to be locked up all alone in a barn all of the time. Especially if it's a border collie or other friendly, energetic dog. I know whatever they do is out of my control, but is there any advice I can give them for the dog's sake?
The Answer
Just tell her exactly what you told us.
You would love for to her have a dog, but she should know better than to force a dog to live in those circumstances. If the dog is treated like a rejected, wild animal - it'll likely behave that way. If it is denied the comforts of a family and pack, and the mental and physical stimulation it needs, it wont know how to be good and gentle around people. She'll ruin the dog and end up with an out-of-control beast locked in a barn.
It also isn't particularly safe to leave a domesticated pet alone in a barn all day. Think of the financial cost, as well as the trauma to the family, if the dog gets hurt.
If her husband cannot deal with a dog in an appropriate, respectful way, then the dog can't be there. She wouldn't have agreed to have children with him if he thought he could lock them up in the barn would she? Of course not. She knows this isn't okay. As her sister, don't talk down to her, but remind her of what she already knows.
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