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I'm 16/f. So, about a month ago, this kid in my class called me a slut. He said "go away, slut." Under his breath when I went to get a pencil. And since then I have been observing myself, and wondering why he said that. It didn't exactly hurt, more like caught me off guard and got me thinking, what could I have done to make anyone think that? I mean, I'm pretty conservative.
The only things I can honestly possibly think of are;
1.The fact that I flirt with the guys that flirt with me,
2. I make a lot of sexual jokes,
3. One day at the end of class when everyone was walking out I waited a little bit and took my top shirt off (I had a tank top under with my bra straps hidden) and left my top shirt on only around my neck, so I could pull my shirt off after my sweater was on to make sure that no skin that wasn't my arms showed. But still, just because he was there, a different boy was like, "Yeah, your clothes. Put them on." Which I can understand, but don't agree with... Only my arm skin was out the whole time.
4. I am horny almost ALL of the time and I find myself fantasizing about some of the boys in my school more and more every week -.-
5. A guy friend of mine once grabbed me as if he was listening to my stomach as I walked by him (he touches me like this a lot, arm around the shoulders, hugs, holds my face briefly, touches my hair and arms, things like that) he was sitting, I was standing. He put his head on my stomach & instead of pushing him away I touched his head, & I don't know, I guess it looked wrong? Everyone that saw said "woahhh" & I just gently backed away from him after a moment I took to process.
6. I stretch in class from time to time (I bend backwards in my seat)
7. When I catch a guy looking at me, I'm flattered instead of disgusted. I don't know if my face shows that or not.
8. When men on the street cat call to me, I smile politely at them (I feel rude ignoring them, even if they might rape me)
9. When the same boy that called me a slut smacked my butt one time, I didn't defend myself, I kind of just stood there & stared at him in shock, & I guess this is why? I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm too nice to the disrespectful guys that surround me?
10. I wore these stretchy leggings that look like jeans with pockets to school for literally the first time yesterday, and my best friend told me "those are the slut pants."
11. When I had swimming last year, I have walked around in my underwear in front of the other girls a few times. I was maybe about 50% comfortable with this,
Looking at this list makes me think I probably am a slut, but I want other comments. If any of you think this makes me a slut, please don't hesitate to tell me, and tell me why. I want honesty. I have been beating myself up about this, I know I should have more of a backbone about this, but I just don't know how, or what to say, or what to do...
Thank you for all of your answers in advance. Anything is appreciated :) (link)
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I hate the word slut. Most people who calls girls slut aren't even the definition anyways. The definition is someone who has many casual sexual partners. You are no where near that. People just throw the words around nowadays to hurt someone because it is a word that does hurt women.
Like Rahzie and Zane said, if you are doing something that you feel like you should change, then change it.
It's fine to flirt. It's fine to be horny and to fantasize (as long as you're not telling everyone about that).
The only thing that is not fine, is the guys who are cat calling you and grabbing you in inappropriate places. If anyone does this again, tell them to stop, even report them at school. Doing this to girls is wrong and completely disrespectful.
If you hear him call you a slut again, look him in the eyes and straight up tell him not to call you a slut or any other name because it is extremely disrespectful. He'll probably be intimidated or he'll try to say something else stupid, then you can just tell a teacher and he'll stop doing this to girls because you're probably not the only one he's done that too.
So my only advice to you is to stand up for yourself and don't let men talk about you like that or touch you.
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