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hello there---
over the summer i met this guy lets call him J. At first i was dating my now ex boyfriend so i didnt pay much attention to J until later on in July. He made me feel like the most beautiful and wanted person in the whole world. So much so that i even invited him over my home.
I met J online, over tumblr through a video game and we video chat regularly. I knew what he looked like, not who he was. He claimed he loved me, I thought he was nuts. That is until i developed strong feelings for him. As of now we are dating, long distance, about six hours away from each other.
My mother knows who he his, but not KNOW who he is... if that makes sense. She claims I dont know him, that he is a rapist, etc etc.. the man still lives with his parents, i've seen him four times. Any sex we have had was of my free will.
My whole family actually has no idea we are dating. Simply due to the fact that i met him online. I see him in secret whenever he travels north. His family knows about me and they love me without knowing me because their son is happy. Why cant my parents be the same?
18/f, J is 23/m, my mother is 44, father is 50 (link)
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Well honestly, do you blame her?
I'm pretty sure your mother loves you and wants you happy. If I had a daughter, I would feel the same way. I'd probably not jump the gun and start calling the guy a rapist but I can see where she's coming from. It's only because dating someone that you've met online can be a dangerous thing, you know that.
I think it's easier for a guy to tell his family he's seeing a girl that he's met online. At least every couple I knew that met online, the guys family always seemed accepting of it. There's usually more men on the internet looking to prey on women that women looking to prey on men so that's probably why his family is more accepting of it.
So I think the best way to handle it is to have your family meet him. At least your parents. Seeing a guy in secret just sucks and it'll screw up your relationship with your family and possibly his relationship with your family when he could have a better chance of getting to know your parents.
So sit down and talk to her mom. Explain that you understand why she's so upset about it, but you really do care about him and you would like her to at least meet him and then decide on how she feels about the situation.
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Rating: 3
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Thanks for the advice! Unfortunately, my mom doesnt even want him in front of our property. :c it's still an issue today.
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