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Me and a really wonderful guy were talking. Just as friends because we relatively just met before that but I developed a little crush on him. It wasn't anything serious at the time but later as we continued to talk, we became closer. He was going through a bad break up at the time when we started getting closer. And I took advantage of the fact that I could really get close to him by helping him out and genuinely supporting him. I never told him I liked him because at the time I wasn't 100% convinced I did like him a lot. He used to message me daily and talk to me all the time. You see, I'm a type of person who likes to get to know someone first before declaring my feelings. And I'm not the most confident person in the world to boldly admit I like someone. I was hoping as we got closer and time progressed and he healed from his pain, that things would be good between us to the point that he too realized he had feelings for me. Next thing I know, he was talking to another girl. I think they were just talking but then they got closer. She out right told him that she liked him, and went a little crazy about it posting it that she was in love, etc. she's got a really annoying bubbly personality. (I'm not saying this because of how I feel. Other people have said the same.) anyway, I was so disappointed when I found out he liked her. Like what the hell did I even mean to you? I help u through all your problems and this is how it ends. The girl is a nice girl and I think she has a good heart. He says she understands him. I'm pretty sure he told me he was glad I understand him. He says he doesn't want a relationship now and that they're just talking and he's not in love with her but it still hurts. She seems like a confident person. Whereas I like to give hints and hope you take it. He told me he's really good at reading people, well clearly not so much. What sucks more is that I see him and the girl a lot and it just breaks my heart each time to think about it. I really liked him and now I'm just sad with regret. I don't want a relationship right now and I told him that (during a regular convo). He told me the same goes for him. But now this is the situation. I don't want to tell him because that will make life for all of us complicated. I want to get over him and move on.:( (link)
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Well I think you can either come out to him about how you feel or just move on.
He probably was interested in you, but you did straight up tell him that you didn't want a relationship. And even though it was true, most guys would take it as a signal not to pursue further. So like Dragonflymagic said, you could possibly phrase it better next time.
A lot of guys don't pick up hints easily. Even when they do, most won't think too much into it.
It's understandable to be disappointed. But for saying, "What the hell did I even mean to you? I helped you through all your problems and this is how it ends." I'm sure he values your friendship because that's what you are.
Being just friends with someone means that you have to accept and be prepared for them to like someone else. If you can't do that, you can't really be friends with them because you'll resent it. Hopefully that makes sense. You became friends with him and told him you weren't looking for a relationship but still hoped for something to happen. So that goes in with phrasing things differently so he doesn't get the wrong idea.
Anyways, I know you don't want to tell him. That's fine if you truly want to move on. If you really do actually want to move on, you need time away from him. Don't text, message or call him. Don't hang out with him, and keep your distance. It's ok to say hi and be friendly when you see him.
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Rating: 4
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I never said I didn't want to be in a relationship, just not right now. And he told me the exact same thing. I figure that would mean we would just continue to get to know each other. It's hard to move on because I see him a lot, not by choice, but because of a job we have.
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